Pajiba Love
Guys... I have some bad news. Joshua Jackson is a zombie. If you should encounter Joshua Jackson, please use all necessary precautions. (ZombieForecast)
Diddy is training to win the Gold Medal of synchronized banging in the Sex Olympics. I can't even act like this isn't my favorite gossip story all week. (WIMB)
Here are some of the classy and classless options for dealing with the death of an actor in the middle of filming a project. (mental floss)
Being drunk at 11AM is personally what helps me work. (QuizLaw)
So here's some news that I know no one besides me gives a crap about, but you can all suck it because that's why I'm the Salty Lovemaster, bitches! Anyway, the runner-up skank from "Rock of Love 2" is dating Tommy Lee. (Evil Beet)
And on the opposite side of the spectrum of my personal interests, here's a scene from one of my favorite "Tom & Jerry" cartoons. (ASWOBA)
People finally figured out that nobody wants to pay for the cow when you can see plenty of pictures of boring babies on the internet for free. (Celebslam)
I think at least a few times we here at Pajiba have been accused of being granola-chomping something or others -- so you guys will probably enjoy this comprehensive granola rundown. (Serious Eats)
"A Good Man is Hard to Find: FATWAPCOOTER and The Ladies of Jazz." (MITM)
Nothing is more healthy for a young girl's changing body like shoving ten pounds of silicone up through her bellybutton and into her chest. (IDLYITW)
Can't we pass some kind of international law that keeps Madonna away from adorable black babies? (Deus Ex Malcontent)
Whatever. I think Kim Kardashian sucks but I'll hand it to her that she fills out a pair of Jordashes like nobody's business. (Popoholic)
Uhhh, damn straight my dogs are my baby "schnoopie poos." (MixTapeTherapy)
It's, like, Ted Boynton's Birthday, today. Both IFC and Spout have interviews with the Whit Stillman, the brilliant director whose disappearing act rivaled that of Stephen Hagard. (Spout) & (IFC)
After the jump: Don't you dare come between a man and his Josh Groban.
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
Eloquent Eloquence 08/14/08 | | Braff's Head Revisited |
Comments
Joshua Jackson is a zombie
The inevitable other shoe dropping after his untimely death. Oh, well.
In other news: Whit Stillman, yay!!
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 14, 2008 3:58 PM
We tried to warn you bitches, but noooooooooo. You let Joshua Jackson sit around and now he's a zombie. Come on Brian, you grab the weed whacker, and I'll grab Matthew. We've got a date with a zombie. And would someone please keep an eye on TK? God knows we don't need any other zombies.
Posted by: Jeremy at August 14, 2008 4:07 PM
Happy Birthday socalledTedboozehound, you old dirty bastard, you!
Posted by: Kolby at August 14, 2008 4:25 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TED!
Your comment sounds suspiciously coherent. Are you sober? I will not stand for such blasphemy!
Posted by: jM at August 14, 2008 4:29 PM
Happy birthday socalled!!
Posted by: Julie at August 14, 2008 4:31 PM
Great. Now I'm craving granola. Who craves granola?
Um, I don't think it's actually socalled's b'day--it's just like his b'day, because of the not one, but two Whit Stillman interviews.
Oh, but maybe you all got that, and are just playing along?
Posted by: tamatha at August 14, 2008 4:56 PM
That T & J made my effin' day! But where's the Zoot Suit? Here's to the true classics and Happy You're-Not-Dead-Yet-Day, Boynton!
Posted by: bibliophile at August 14, 2008 5:01 PM
Happy Maybe-Birthday-But-If-Not-Happy-Whit-Stillman-Day, socalled! Ya bum.
Okay...call me crazy...but I don't really recall a 14-year old being able to go from Deflator Mice to Ta-Tas in less than a year.
Josh Jackson is already dead to me, so it's only natural that TK would make use of his body. And then make him a zombie.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 14, 2008 5:11 PM
Awww. I thought this would be the one day when he wouldn't have to hold his wife down. Keep your head up, Ted.
Posted by: jM at August 14, 2008 5:18 PM
All this time I kept reading Ted's outro on his entries as "Slim Whitman" instead of Whit Stillman. I thought that was the coolest shit ever.
If ever I had the opportunity to meet Ted I planned on presenting him with one of my autographed pictures of Slim. I had hopes of us being bar buddies and waxing philosophically on a Tuesday afternoon at some dive bar on Geary in SF while the rest of the world toils away. We would be forever linked because of the love of Slim Whitman!
Damn.
Posted by: Krix at August 14, 2008 5:38 PM
Bibliophile,
It was between that clip and the zoot suit, another timeless classic.
Posted by: JMW at August 14, 2008 5:53 PM
It's actually only like my birthday. It is more delightful than my birthday, however, to see Whit Stillman alive and well. Now I have to change my stupid blurb.
Krix, I'll still sing "Vaya con Dios" with you at Silver Bar karaoke. That Slim Whitman, what a singer. Plus, he's doing wonders with those candy trays.
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 14, 2008 6:08 PM
Happy un-birthday, then, socalled.
Posted by: Kolby at August 14, 2008 6:12 PM
Posted by: Sarina at August 14, 2008 6:29 PM
Not to defend any Lohan shenanigans (Lohanigans?), but I actually went from, like, a training bra to a C-cup in about a year and a half. But then, I didn't look like a 35 year old when I was 14, either so who knows what the hell is going on with all that.
Posted by: HB at August 14, 2008 6:50 PM
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to you...
Hap... huh? I'm confused.
I thought everyone was wishing Boynton a...
OH THAT'S JUST GREAT!
Now I've got no reason to be drunk at work... bastard.
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at August 14, 2008 6:54 PM
"Vaya con Dios" it is. I doubt they will have "Tennessee Yodel Polka" in the playlist. Fools.
Posted by: Krix at August 14, 2008 6:59 PM
I guess mentionning that I'm getting a tata reduction here would bring on a riot?
I've eaten so many sunflower seeds that my tongue is raw and I won't be able to perform my nightly womanly duties.
Posted by: popejenn at August 14, 2008 8:58 PM
I guess mentionning that I'm getting a tata reduction ...."
Posted by: popejenn at August 14, 2008 8:58 PM
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!
go on...
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 14, 2008 9:00 PM
I totally thought that picture was of Paul Thomas Anderson. They kinda resemble each other...
Oh, and Happy Birthday, TB!
Posted by: vic at August 14, 2008 10:02 PM
I totally thought that picture was of Paul Thomas Anderson. They kinda resemble each other...
Oh, and Happy Birthday, TB!
Posted by: vic at August 14, 2008 10:03 PM
Ugh. Sorry about that double post.
Posted by: vic at August 14, 2008 10:51 PM
It may not be Ted's birthday, but it is my sister's 13th birthday so I still have something to drink to. Woo!
I want to know where Kim Kardashian gets her jeans because as someone who does not have the typical white girl flat-ass, I have a BIG problem with jeans not being cut to accommodate an ample backyard. Got front and back, but no side to side. I bet she gets them custom made though. Bitch.
Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at August 14, 2008 11:46 PM
popejenn, we're gonna need some "before" pictures, and maybe a detailed "after" sketch to see what you have in mind. No need to email, just hold them up to your window (with the blinds out of the way) and my trusty XO/reconmeister Shadows will get the appropriate footage. Oh, and you may want to start closing your bathroom window on those sultry Saturday nights...he's starting to get a crick in the neck.
Posted by: lordhelmet at August 15, 2008 2:01 AM
Hey, I had nothing to do with Pacey's zombification. Why would I want a nancy-pants sissy like that in my army?
I'm hunting bigger game...
[narrows eyes, glances in B-Slim's direction]
Posted by: TK at August 15, 2008 8:07 AM
Popejenn, can I have your leftovers? I'm sadly lacking...
I thought Joshua Jackson had been..."taken care of" already. *cocks shotgun*
Let's get this bitch. PACEY HUNTING TEAM GO! Team A, you go left, Team B, follow me!
BWAAAAAAAAA!
Posted by: Jaci at August 15, 2008 10:35 AM
I have a BIG problem with jeans not being cut to accommodate an ample backyard. Got front and back, but no side to side.
Damn, that's hot, Genny. Wish your sister a very merry unbirthday today.
popejenn, what's the reduction for? Is it back problems? I had a gf who had to have the surgery done because the doctors warned her her spine would continue to deteriorate over the years unless she got it. She was a big girl, but not too healthy.
In any case...we must have doctors on staff here at Pajiba who would gladly assist you (and take pictures). Your health is our only concern (boobies!). We care about you (nom nom nom nom nom!). And we would treat you with the love and respect a fellow Pajibian deserves (motorboat!).
Jaci...can I go ahead? I likes me so choppy action...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at August 15, 2008 12:51 PM
I'm hunting bigger game...
[narrows eyes, glances in B-Slim's direction]
Posted by: TK at August 15, 2008 8:07 AM
-------------------------------------------------
*cue in standoff theme from Good Bad and the Ugly*
Roll the dice, and take your chances...
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at August 15, 2008 1:05 PM
sorry BSlim, but I gotta put my money on TK and his zombie hoards
[and Happy 'yesterday' Birthday Ted!]
and Genny? consdier me wicked jealous, one of the few things I inherited from my mother was absolutetly no hips...coincidentaly, I have roughly a thousand and one belts
Posted by: Bethy at August 15, 2008 1:13 PM
