Pajiba

It's really a sign of the new-fascism that's taking over this country when an up and coming political superstar gets viciously slammed for doing what's natural for ANY man.

Did you really just use the phrase "Salty Lovemaster?"

Really?

Welcome to your new nickname, Stace.

Welcome to Hell.

...Oh you mean being married to a bitch and fucking another bitch after you've given that bitch over a hundred grand to produce web commercials? New-fascism my ass, he's a up and coming poon hound.

All HAIL SALTY LOVEMASTER!!!!

HUZZAH! HUZZAH!

*take your top off*

Pun intended! Intended, for Chrissakes!

Aw, hell.

Let's not forget that they tried to take out Morgan Freeman last week. "Accident," my ass. (That last bit was an observation, not a directive.)

This thing is really out of control. (The black guy thing, not my ass.)

Salty LoveMaster? I once knew a guy who nicknamed his penis the Sweet Love Master, but Salty? You're a fucking godesse, Stace. You're super-rock-wall is in the mail! Now take off your top and get killed by greg Kinnear!

(P.S. Thanks for linking to my write up. Yay!)

Greg Kinnear would never hurt an elderly woman. He's perfect in every way.

That cartoon is bullshit.

This thing is really out of control. (The black guy thing, not my ass.)

That's what they all say.

Oh Salty Lovemaster, how can we be sure such an expensive contraption wont end up being a very complex clothes rack? Or, as more fitting your name, somehow stolen and used in Pajiba-based sex games involving Yeti-mountain-lovemaking fantasies?

Let's not forget that they tried to take out Morgan Freeman last week. "Accident," my ass.

No, scoc, Freeman's accident wasn't conspiracy--it was the TDK curse, man--the curse that took HL and got CB arrested and almost got MF killed, man. Also? I hear a best boy developed spontaneous dental hydrosplosion on the set.

spontaneous dental hydrosplosion

That is the most terrifying thing I have read all day. I have an image in my head that will require much liquor to remove. So thanks for that, Ranylt.

I can't take credit, wakeful one. I just started watching the US version of The Office and had to celebrate that line somehow.

Pun intended! Intended, for Chrissakes!
Aw, hell.
Posted by: Stacey at August 11, 2008 4:09 PM

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You really stuck your foot in it this time. We're never letting you live this one down.

Every day I learn something knew to hate about the "campaign". Enough already. Who cares who did what when? All I care about is...who's gonna do a good job as President? As in, who has the better vision and will to accomplish what we need? Not who do the Olsens like and what flavor drink they prefer...fucking media.

Why is it these dumbasses try to convince us they are smart enough to run the fucking country, but are never smart enough to get some strange on the side without getting busted?

Whatever. But I think Chez is wrong with his "aw shucks, he's only human" bullshit. Because as a human, and not a spidermonkey or a pygmy goat or a marmot, he has the ability to make the consious decision not to go fuckin around on his wife. He didn't do it because he's human, he did it because he's an asshole. An asshole that I probably would have voted for, but an asshole nonetheless.

*TAKE IT OFF!*

OH OH OH I propose that Salty Lovemaster's theme song should be *drumroll*

Samantha Fox's: Naughty Girls (Need Love Too)

The song WILL be played every time she enters any room.

(And, whenever she does any type of Jawbreaker type strut down a hallway, as well as any montages)

OH OH OH I propose that Salty Lovemaster's theme song should be *drumroll*
Samantha Fox's: Naughty Girls (Need Love Too)

Seconded.

*TAKE IT OFF!*

And also seconded.

Really? Samantha Fox? Aw, shit!

*desperately rips "Naughty Girls (Need Love Too)" from brain and puts back "Like a Cannonball"*

Ahh, that's better.

Oh hell no! When the zombie apocalypse comes, the last place you'll find me is tagging along with a group of bitch ass pilgrims. I have enough going against me. I'm black, bitchy, and an asthmatic smoker. Hell, the last time I ran was for a bus back in 2003. I missed it. So, sorry Opies, you're gonna have to find someone else to play the dark meat in your zombie smorgasbord when you inevitably decide to investigate a noise or save some doomed-anyway motherfucker across town. Unfortunately, that means the boyfriend is gonna have to go, too. Even though I love him and he has a whole mess of ethnicities melting in that pot of his, he still looks white. Which drops my chances of survival down to around .00009%. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna to get regulated to being the picture-of-the-dead-girlfriend in his pocket while he's boning Mrs. Whitey McWonderbread.

Yup. My best bet will be to join up with a ragtag group of people from races more maligned than my own. And hope that when attacked, the zombies go for them first. Or that maybe somewhere in the back of the zombie's flesh craving minds they'll get flashes of Oprah, Dave Chappelle, or Mos Def long enough for me to sever their head and briskly walk to safety.

So am I getting the rock wall, or what?

Whatever. But I think Chez is wrong with his "aw shucks, he's only human" bullshit. Because as a human, and not a spidermonkey or a pygmy goat or a marmot, he has the ability to make the consious decision not to go fuckin around on his wife. He didn't do it because he's human, he did it because he's an asshole.

I don't think Chez was saying that the guy should be let off the hook, just that it shouldn't be national news, especially since much more important things needed attention.

Thing is, Edwards is only human, and as such, he has the capacity to fuck up royally. Who does it help to drag his name through the mud, to pester anyone remotely involved, to give credence to a two-faced attention seeker who would rather publicly humiliate his family and her child? No one, that's who.

Nobody is excusing his actions. But his wife is the only person he has to answer to, and from what I understand from the unnecessary coverage, she did know and still forgave him. The only thing under contention was the parentage of the child, and even that does not need to be done in the public eye.

David? That woman just plowed through an orphanage and killed a baby on crutches. Obviously, that bitch isn't all there.

And jm? It's the natural order of things: You start out with a group of diverse people to show how tolerant you are, then pick off everyone who isn't white. You ever wonder why zombies never bend their knees when they walk? Oh, they may say "Braaaaaaaaaains", but they really mean "Seig Heil!". Am I saying that zombies are nazis? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

People. We need to put Sam Jackson, Forrest Whittaker and Danny Glover under full armed guard.

It is not safe, my bruthas. Go to the emergency room right now. Get your vitals checked and then go to the medically equipped panic room with the SWAT team patrolling outside.

There is a chance you could be saved. Remember when they got Biggie and Tupac and missed Diddy?

Are large numbers of people really confused by that "take your top off and get killed by Greg Kinnear" line?

It's a reference to the film The Gift, in which Katie Holmes (in flashback) takes off her top and is later killed by Greg Kinnear. It is, in all honesty, the finest performance of Holmes' career to date.

The phrase made me shoot soup out my nose. It's my Phrase of the Month. I'm gonna be on the lookout for opportunities to use it in conversation.

Mrs. Whitey McWonderbread

I totally got with this chick one time. Would only do missionary, a breather not a moaner, and none of the weird shit. Very uptight. My next girlfriend, Cornbread McGritsengrease, was much more adventurous and like to shout "Give it to me Huck!" while we made the doggie on her voodoo altar.

Am I saying that zombies are nazis? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

Jeremy, is that why they don't like werewolves? Because werewolves have spooky scary bar mitzvahs?

I uploaded the new template for Zombie Forecast today, and I need you bitches to tell if it looks funny, 'k?

Good monkeys; now dance!

But seriously, please tell me which parts are retarded so I can fix them. Also, in order to minimise the hijacking of this thread, please email me with the retardedness or leave it in a comment over there. Thank you very much in advance. Y'all are peaches.

Hey Vermillion!

Hypocrisy is the reason that John Edwards deserves to be criticized for his actions. I have no problem with people's private lives being private. I do have a problem with comments like this though:
Edwards on the Monica Lewinsky scandal from February 12, 1999:
I think this President has shown a remarkable disrespect for his office, for the moral dimensions of leadership, for his friends, for his wife, for his precious daughter. It is breathtaking to me the level to which that disrespect has risen.

And it's a shame, I liked Edwards but his comments on Clinton were totally uncalled for.

Hypocrisy is the reason that John Edwards deserves to be criticized for his actions.

Two points:

1) That was years before Edwards' own affair, and as it is plainly becoming clear, a lot of people don't think they or other people are capable of such assholery at first.

2) As Chez said, are you surprised that a politician was a hypocrite? I'm not, and I still don't believe that is good enough reason to shove his private life into the public eye. In fact, statements like that are even more reason why folks don't need to put their noses or opinions in other folks' business.

And this goes for anyone famous. Unless it was a crime or somehow affecting the execution of his job, nothing about this deserves such scrutiny.

We are reading a lot of fake news these days. Did you remember the news about Britney's pregnancy, Lindsay's joining on the famous rich men seeking affairs """""W e a l t h y L o v e s.co m""""""""? Is this news true or not? who knows...

Not to get horribly off topic, but those new "better for you" ramen noodles are horribly bland.

Just thought everyone should know.

Point well made Vermillion. Still I'd argue that we should not let hypocrisy slip by unnoticed. No, it's not surprising but such an obvious disconnect between words and actions is news.

I do hold out the small hope that people will learn to leave people's private lives alone altogether. I agree that unless it affects the job it shouldn't be a matter of public inquiry but when you've put yourself out there by criticizing others you've made yourself a target.