Pajiba

I want to see Amy Winehouse live so badly.

Governor Jindal, people. One of the top contenders for McCain's running mate. But there are still people out there who refer to McCain as a moderate. I just don't get it.

And apropos of nothing while I'm here. I just tried to register for a newish recreational Web service and was informed that the username "PaddyDog" is already taken. That's just wrong. That is my online identity. A lot of thought went into that name. I want it back. NOW.

Great piece by Kevin Smith about George Carlin. I caught part of Jersey Girl on cable this weekend, and there's this bit at the end where Carlin's character talks about not wanting to die alone. It's a particularly affecting scene now - not that he died alone, but there's also general fear of mortality in his very effective delivery.

Kevin Smith does a commentary in Newsweek. well, that's the final nail in the coffin for THAT magazine. I kept reading the piece, waiting for the inevitable "SNOOCHIE-BOOCHIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or SNOOGENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or some other bleated fart that Smith has managed to add to the American lexicon and further drag the language down.

As for Amy Winehouse, I want to see someone take a full bottle of wine upside her fucking head and then shove the jagged neck into her face several times.

Anyone who says "Fuck you!!!" to Nelson Mandela to go buy cigarettes and candy deserves no less and actually a lot more.

Amy Winehouse really reminds me of Lucinda Williams -- even at her slurry blurry funkwreck worst onstage, she's still an obviously brilliant artist. She better not die before Toby Keith.

RE: Miley Cyrus penis candy

Do these people do this kind of thing on purpose or do they just not examine their product(s) with a critical eye? I know that certain brains (mine included) can see something dirty in just about anything, but really, I think this one is too easy.

PaddyDog: I was always "Heidi" in my German class. Then in my senior year, I had this new girl in my honors German class who got to pick her German name before me. When she chose "Heidi", half the class erupted because we had all been in German since middle school and I had been "Heidi" since then. I felt so violated. But ultimately, I won out and got keep my Teutonic pseudonym.

I totally second the vote for a Pajiba book. Man, what glorious chaos that would be.

Of course, I was also just thinking about that other Pajiba pipe dream: the mythical, oft discussed convention, PajibaCon.

"Pajiba Pipe Dream", isn't that a porn title? (much classier than my original thought "Heh heh, she said Pajiba pipe."

Sorry, I think I had too much Miley Cyrus candy. Now I can't get my mind out of the gutter.

If you guys have a PajibaCon near me, I'll bring cookies.

I feel so sorry for Amy Winehouse, I can hardly stand it. I mean it! She really brings out all my maternal feelings and I want to lock her in a room full of healthy food and soothing literature.

Also, I too was Paul Zindel's bitch and remember fondly the dog-eared, much-read copy of "My Darling, My Hamburger" that flew around my 8th grade classroom.

AlabamaPink:

So, you feel my pain (lovely to see you back by the way). I feel a revolution in the offing.

Re, Amy Winehouse, it really pisses me off that she is so damn good at what she does because I want to hate her but I love the music.

PaddyDog You can do both - hate the person, love the work.

Would the Pajiba Book be a Travelouge of Pookie & shadows motorcycling together?

Of course they don't believe in evolution in Louisiana. I mean, look at the Spears family: they're royals down there, and if they're the result of natural selection, then what's next for the rest of us? They'd much rather think of Brit-Brit as one of the many trials God has put in their way. Or maybe they think she's the Chosen One...

Oh, Lord...

I'd love a Pajiba book, dammit! And also, yay Alabamapink is getting better! I'm starting a group hug to celebrate the occasion. *Hug!*

I'm in, Jer-bear! *hug*

(*ahem* please don't hate me for calling you Jer-bear; just seemed to suit the occasion)

What the fuck are you doing Will? I mean Scientology, Scientology. Are you that tired of all the dope and pussy at your finger tips in Hollywood?

I think that the Pajibook could be a manifesto along the lines of the Anarchist Cookbook, with chapters related to (but not limited to):

• "How to build your own Murder(insert mode of transport here)".

• "Survival list for the eventual SpamBot/Zombie Apocalypse".

• "Finding Your Inner Godtopus".

• Mr. Boynton's"How to stay soused on a limited budget".

• TK's definitive list(s) - updated yearly, ala Farmer's Almanac.

• Julie's "A beginner's guide to taco dip and its multiple uses".

• Sarina's "In these things I do not believe".

• Ben's "Shit-caked assholes and other musings".

• Ranylt's "It's called a "thesaurus", you miscreant".

• SoD's "Sexual positions of the multi-jointed and heavily-armed".

• Alabama Pink "Fuck cancer. Fuck it right in the ass".

• Skittimus & Minimus "Getting to know your conjoined twin".

• Pookie "White women I've conquered".

• Prioleau Alexander "Tales of douchebaggery".

Grats Pink on the remission. keep getting better.

Who ever picked the Rainn Wilson vidoes should have just went with the Xena clip. After watching all three the guy comes off as a bore and a schmuck.

Also, fuck Amy Winehouse. I have no sympathy for people who just waste what they have.

Amy Winehouse is my antidrug.

Also, she doesn't do group hugs and would probably turn a Pajiba book into papers for her awesome drugs.

Not to worry, MO, that was actually my nickname in high-school. If I may add a chapter to the Pajiba book, mind throwing in "How to kill Tila Tequila using simple household sex toys"?

Amy Winehouse is dying before the eyes of her fans and everyone else who has the internet. It's sad and I don't know that anyone's going to be able to stop it.

Yay for Pink! That's much happier news.

Wow, I don't even know if that facebook stunt counts as passive aggressive anymore. I mean, passive aggressive facebook use is like "looking at my ex's page to badmouth pics of him and his new girlfriend while drinking wine with my friends" or "lettings newsfeed do my stalking work for me". What that guy is pulling is just balls out AGGRESSIVE.

Say what you like about Mr Wilson's humour potential I would just like to warn all and sundry to AVOID The Rocker.

It played at the Edinburgh Film Fest as the surprise movie and sweet fuck did it blow goats. Excerable tunes, tired laboured toothless gags and nothing really resembling oh I dunno dramatic or comedic motivation or plot arcs to be found.

Ever been sat in a film and found yourself thinking; 'Sweet Treesus I wish I was really really stoned so I could on some level enjoy this film's bad gags and loose myself in that cute chicks eyes'
Well that was The Rocker folks.

The biggest revelation was that Kelly Bundyb is now playing a mom, which made me feel really old and also made me realise how young I was when I had a crush on her.

The Hannah Montana cock sweets, much much funnier than the Rokcer - apart from half of the stuff Jason Sudeikis (Floyd from 30 Rock) utters as the A&R guy, its like he was the only character deemed worthy of gags that weren't declawed, rewritten, defanged, rewritten, and then noted to death.
If this had been a fictional movie it would have been made by Tantamount.

Skittimus, that pretty much made my day.

I kept reading the piece, waiting for the inevitable "SNOOCHIE-BOOCHIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or SNOOGENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not inevitable, actually. That's pretty much just Jason Mewes there and I've never heard or read Kevin Smith using Jay's slogans.

Awwwwwwww, Stacey, you used it!

What the hell. Fuck you, Amy Winehouse. Fuck you and your fugly beehive. It doesn't make you cool, it just provides a home to all the rats who made a home in it while you were rolling around in a gutter all crack-headed out.

My mother loves Nashville Star. It's family night. I laughed hysterically when Billy Ray Dumbfuckinghighlights couldn't get his famous daughter and had to get the daughter named NOAH. NOAH for Godtopus' sake. No wonder she's not famous. She's not a boy.

And I'll totally plan a Pajiba-Con. Right now. I'll get started. We can have it in... I don't know, where the fuck do you all live? Some of you are drinking buddies, I know that. So somewhere with an open bar.

Glad to hear good news for Ms. Pink.

I can't believe there's nothing here today about Ian McKellen and Jim Caviezel in the remake of The Prisoner.

That's cause the TV Whore talked about that weeks ago, Cindy. Keep up, lurker!

Kevin Smith does a commentary in Newsweek. well, that's the final nail in the coffin for THAT magazine. I kept reading the piece, waiting for the inevitable "SNOOCHIE-BOOCHIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or SNOOGENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or some other bleated fart that Smith has managed to add to the American lexicon and further drag the language down.

Actually, Kevin Smith is an extraordinarily eloquent writer and speaker. I understand if you're not a fan of his work, Ben, but to speak derogatorily of his heartfelt piece about Mr. Carlin is nasty and unnecessary.

Thanks so much Paco - the press release just came out June 30th.
Next time, I'll try to check with you first to see if I missed a rumor.

It truly fucking boggles my mind that some commentors here actually feel sorry for Amy Winehouse.

No one is holding a gun or knife to her head/throat and forcing her to do all of this shit. She is making the willful and conscious decision to be a druggie and not wash/shit her pants. Anyone and everyone who has tried to help her she has told to go "fuck themselves" in no uncertain terms.

She doesn't deserve your good/kind thoughts.

She doesn't deserve your prayers.

She doesn't deserve your good wishes.

She damn well doesn't deserve your sympathy.

And be honest for one in your lives, she's not "all that." She isn't tremendously talented. She's a third rate torch singer who is doing nothing more then aping the torch singers of the 1960's. If she were so great there would be legions of imitators and there aren't any.

Pookie, It's "Shit-smeared" or "Shit-encrusted", not "Shit-caked."

Ben, it ain't Pookie, brother, it's me!

Anyhoow, sorry about the mistake there... "shit-encrusted" it is...

Ditto on the Winehouse - she's got a nice thing going and all, but she's the one friggin' up her own business. She does an awesome job with her style of music, but unfortunately, the stupid broad has let her dumb-ass hijinks (and wearing the same goddam clothes three months in a row) overshadow what she might have had as a lucrative career.

I'd still tap it though... [...vomits violently...]

Skittimus,

Dude, you can't be serious. You can see the green stink radiating out from her cooze and body in photos, I can't imagine what it would be like in person. Kinda reminds me of the story about Jim Morrison's leather pants and how he wore them with no underwear for 4 months straight on a tour and went without bathing for like a month, and how the stench was unbearable when he rolled his pants down so a groupie could blow him.

Seriously dude, you'd need to wear a biohazard suit and 3 dozen condoms on your dick if you're going to fuck Winehouse, and don't you dare even think about eating her pussy or kissing her.

Hold up just one second.

Yes, Winehouse is the one actually smoking the dope, but to say she doesn't deserve sympathy is borderline ridiculous. She has a mental and physical dependency on narcotics. She's also admitted to having suffered (and almost certainly still suffers) from bulimia, drastically low self-esteem, and depression, and she self-mutilates.

And on top of all of that, the entire world gets off on her being a mess. We encourage it. I made my own jokes in poor taste above, and deep down I feel so much sympathy for her, so you can see how even those that sympathize are lined up against her.

Whatever, I wish her the very best. Fighting personal demons is one of the hardest things any one of us will ever do. And she's got a host of them, some she invited and others she didn't. So I'm rooting for her and wish her the very best. Go f*ck yourself if you've got a problem with that.

Roar. :)

Actually, the first step in digging herself outta her hole is MOVING SOMEWHERE AND JUST LAYING LOW FOR A WHILE. Seriously. When you got paparootzi camping outside your house 24-7, I'd go a little nuts.

David,

So Winehouse, you claim, with no cites to back you up, has a grocery list of "problems."

Fine.

Guess what?

EVERYONE has fucking problems, her's are magnified by the press for a couple of reasons:

1) she continually acts out and appears in public like a complete fucking mess, I'm talking shit and piss your pants and then smear it all over your body type of mess and walk up and down Main Street during lunch hour type of mess.

More importantly,

2) Despite numerous pleas by family members (her mother and father), her various managers, publicists, lawyers etc, SHE HAS ADAMANTLY REFUSED NOT JUST TO SEEK OUT ANY SORT OF TREATMENT, BUT TO EVEN ADMIT THAT SHE HAS ANY TYPE OF PROBLEM OR THAT SHE'S A FUCKING MESS.

That's Shrub level denying of fucking reality and that my friend, means you don't deserve ANY sympathy, because it will just be wasted.

That you continue to believe otherwise despite ALL evidence to the contrary shows just how pathetically sad and sadly pathetic you truly are.