Pajiba

And how again does her butt look like said "garbage bag full of cottage cheese"?
'Cause I'm just not seeing it.

No kidding... I just dropped around two hundred bucks on a shitload of cottage cheese and a box of Hefty Yard Bags (with that puncture proof whatchamafrigger). It looks nothing like a butt. Nothing at... (hold on a sec, lemme roll it) ...Nope. It looks like an idiot (i.e. me) filled a garbage bag with large-curd cottage cheese... NOW WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

Bill O'Reilly is a jackass. His life on this planet would probably be better served by being an actual donkey ass, don't you think?

Man, the evil person who made that cottage cheese and garbage bag content was just jealous. I don't like Ms.Kardashian as a person, but I think she's a beautiful girl with a spectacular figure. Nothing wrong with meaty thighs and a bubble butt.

This message is brought to you by Women in Favor of Semi-Realistic Body Images Who Are Maybe a Bit Pear Shaped Themselves. Or WFSRBIWAMBPST, which looks like what sneezes sound like.

Seeing Papa Bear flail around in anger with no audio during the last four to five seconds of that clip could make anyone giggle.

Grown man temper tantrums are comedic gold. Bonus points if they stomp their feet.

Wow, Bill O'Reilly is just such a fucking baby.

And I imagine that he thinks himself to be some sort of paragon of masculinity, which makes his crybaby-ness all the more hi-laarious.

I also am the proud owner of a bubble butt, and I can attest to the difficulty of keeping the area dimple-free. Kim up there seems to be doing a pretty damn good job, especially for someone who eats junk all day and rarely gets off said butt.

And Bill O'Reilly is the douchiest douchebag who has ever lived.

Genny, the person responsible for the "cottage cheese" comment? Paris Hilton. Yep.

Dammit, I try not to pay much attention to the Kardashians, but I am only a man. And a fan of fully-developed derrières at that.

Next thing you know, there will be Mr. Big Rubbers, Mr. Big birth control...

Not that I'll be seeing The Spirit anyway, but what the hell is Eva Mendes doing in that pic? She looks like she's doing Lamaze breathing.

Vermillion, I rest my case. Given the choice I would far rather look like Kim Kardashian than Paris Hilton.

And if you're really a fan, Jezebel had up a video of Kim's cellulite treatment, which encompassed everything you could see in those pictures only more so.

HA! HAHAHA!

"I'm Ron Burgundy?"

Oh, Mr. O'Reilly. What a tiny penis you must have.

Yeah, sorry guys -- I guess I should have clarified the Paris Hilton thing. Sometimes I forget that everyone else isn't a gossip blogger.

How could you not mention in the Florida sex offender jambaroo link that it was a Tyra-led expose? That kind of makes it the perfect shit storm doesn't it? Also, at what point does Tyra somehow make that story about her? It seems difficult given the subject matter, but I have confidence in her.

Also, Skittimus you could try pissing on it. Just a suggestion, seemed to work for Ray J.

I think Stone is one of our greatest directors, I thought Nixon and JFK were brilliant. The Idol loving masses going crazy over that queer kid and his asshole daddy. I'll be the first in line to buy a ticket to W.

Thus continues, solidifies and validates my hatred for Bill O'Reilly.

Kolby--let me clarify. Bill O'Reilly is the douchiest douchebag that has ever lived...in Douchebagtown.

One of my fave lines from SNL--Tracy Morgan tells Shaq (who is supposed to be his son) that his mother's ass "looks like a sack of wet clothes." Being a girl of generous rear myself, that always makes me giggle. (The brothers called me "Hips" in high school. A moniker no girl of 14 wants, believe me.)

But "cottage cheese" comment or not, I am sure that even as vain as Ms.K is, she is well aware that she has a big booty.

Did anyone else see that WNBC anchor drop the f-bomb, too? This seems to be a recurring theme on the gossip sites lately.

"I'm Ron Burgundy, go fuck yourself San Diego!"

While I feel very strongly that both Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian are too retarded to function, I will readily admit that Ms. Kardashian is very pretty (although she could stand to ease up on the face spackle), whereas Ms. Hilton looks like what would've happened if Pablo Picasso got really wasted and participated in a eugenics experiment involving Muppets, an anteater, some Silly Putty and a herd of gazelles.

You got it MCPP!

[...children on the way home from school watch in fear as I empty my bladder onto/into a 20-Gallon Hefty Bag filled with over 75 lbs. of large-curd, low-fat cottage cheese ...]

What the hell was that supposed to do? It doesn't look any more like an ass than before! Now it's just soggy, piss-soaked cottage cheese! How the hell was that suppo... Oh, I get it... Ray J. was into peeing on butts... Hoo boy, is my face red! Y'think Ms. Dash'll get the taste of piss outta cottage cheese?

I just burst into tears at the sight of The Brolin done up like Bush.
Nooooo!

Lannie, just pick up the magazine and look at the other picture of Josh, that should re-center you. Elizabeth's is nice too, though I do like her with the Laura Bush hair as well. But then I'm into short brunette anyway.

For me there would seem to be less a need for this movie than the Bioshock game apparently is, but that's just me. Nonetheless I feel, in the words of Tom Servo, don't you think I know that? I'm living it!

(still, drunkenly talking trash to the old man sounds kind of amusing)

Poor Skittimus. If I may make a suggestion, get a shitload of ricotta, a shit load of sugar, another shitload of cream cheese, and some graham cracker crumbs, and make yourself THE GREATEST CHEESECAKE IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVERRRRRRRRRR!

I hate having to be in the position of defending Kim Kardashian. She is an attractive woman. And I do hope she ignores the words of that particular Valtrex spokesmodel who shall not be named here. That having been said, Ms. Kardashian can stop worrying about her looks and start worrying about her uselessness.

Hey guys!!! *Waves happily*

So, yep, just pulled an all-nighter and a full day's worth of last classes. Way to go for late spring semesters, am I right?

Ahem, anyway... I was wondering if I could bring something to your attention. *hands start shaking*

Uh, so apparently, I'm a prophet.

Yep. Remember how a few days ago, someone brought up how all kids should be raised on Fraggle Rock? And I was like, "Ah but how I love Fraggle Rock. But nobody talk about it ever again, because if three or more people talk about something I liked from my childhood it'll end up being ass-raped by some incapable Hollywood brainturds." Good times right? We all got the theme-song stuck in our heads and nary a worry remained in our hearts.

Well, apparently, I was fucking prophetic:
http://www.variety.com/VR1117985529.html

*weeps*
Weinstein, please use some lube for pete's sake.

Re: The Spirit.

Wow is THAT going to suck a shit and pus smeared cock. Thank you Frank Miller for utterly destroying and raping one of the most influential comics in the genre's short history.

He should be fucking ashamed of himself as he knows damn well that he would never have even thought of pulling ANY shit like this is Eisner was still alive.

What a fucking travesty.

What a fucking disgrace.

If Miller had any balls he'd re-name it SIN CITY 2, 'cause that's what this pile of shit really is.

Oh, nonono! Kayanne, that is truly disastrous. So very wrong. Why, oh why didn't they consult the Trash Heap before planning this fiasco-in-the-making?

On an unrelated note, hey, it's Pookie! Thought you'd left us, ya fool!

Thank you MO, cooler heads prevailed. My representatives and the management at pajiba were able to come up with a contract that was suitable for all parties. I really don't like discussing ongoing negotiations in public and I made that clear to management at pajiba, but someone from their side leaked it to the press that we were at a stalemate in our talks in the hope that I would settle. So as it stands I'll be flying to New York on Friday to sign my new contract, shortly after that pajiba and I will both issue a joint press release.

Ah, the journalistic integrity of Bill O'Reilly. I had forgotten he was on Inside Edition - if I ever knew.

....my god. I can't stop watching his hair bounce. It's like an evil version of Conan's hair.

Oh,so cute!I love her.Maybe she want to find more new friends,she is on "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m ".On "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m",there are many beautiful girls and rich,handsome men,they want to find more friends,find their lover.On that site,they make friends each other.If you are single now,I think you would come to the site.Please believe yourself,you will
find your lover.Come on!

Oh Robert, how I would love to believe your empty promises, but I've been hurt in the past with promises of beautiful girls and rich, handsome men. I've "make friends each other" too many times now. And while you are correct that the people you mention on S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m are looking for more friends with the hopes of finding their lover, I've found nothing but heartbreak and strains of venereal disease that even my doctor was baffled by. As much as it pains me to say this, Robert, I'm washing your site from my "favorites" links. Much like the way I've had to rinse prescription-strength pube-shampoo from my body each time I've been unfortunate enough to offer my body to your associates...

Goodbye Robert...

Robert wait! I'm sorry! I was foolish to turn you away! Robert, please... Don't turn your back. I need you... God, I need you. Who else can help me find friends, find lovers, find myself? You, Robert, you. It's always been you. I'm sorry for doubting you. Please... don't go.

Should you be reading this comment thread Robert, and I hope you are, you might want to get yourself checked out... I'm not saying I got it from you, but... well, just go get checked. It might not be swollen and smell bad now, but... just... just go, okay?

Please Robert, I fear a new "Pajiba Love" is coming soon and I don't want to lose you... Let me know you're out there. I miss you...

DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING, YOU GODDAMED SPAMBOT!! I'M TIRED OF YOU PLAYING WITH MY FRIGGIN' EMOTIONS YOU SUMANABITCH! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT, GODDAMMIT, DIFFERENT! YOU'RE JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS WITH YOUR EMPTY PROMISES AND BULLSHIT CLAIMS OF "TRUE LOVE"!

Robert, I'm sorry... that was uncalled for... I'll wait to hear from you... Sorry.

Y'see what happened, there Robert? Yeah, that's right - a new "Pajiba Love" went up, and I pretty much came out and said you stood me up. Know what that means? Do you, you heartless shit? It means we're done.

I'll leave a box of your stuff at the end of the driveway. Don't bother coming up to the door...

Ass...