Pajiba

You wouldn't want to win a crying little boy who gets stuck in machines at what looks like an airport? Litely, you prude.

Actually, I could totally see Lil' Riles getting stuck in a claw machine. He loves those things. My wallet? Not so much.

Y'all? I'm not trying to defend her music or anything but... 15 year olds are dumb. Like, really dumb. They've got these bodies that are pretty much grown up, and they want to show them off because they like the attention, but that's when parents are supposed to step in and be like "not so much". There is nothing wrong with how Miley Cyrus is acting. There is something ENORMOUSLY wrong with how the adults around her are acting.

Everyday I'm reminded of new celebrities that I share a birth-year with. That list is now up to Lindsey Lohan, the Olsens, and now Hillary Duff. Makes my almost-college graduate self feel unaccomplished.

Why is Miley Cyrus sprawled across her daddy's crotch? Seriously, not one person at Vanity Fair thought twice about those photos? Okay then.

I hear you G(aR). And what about this 19 year old physics professor in New Orleans who's teaching down there because she doesn't think she'd be good at rebuilding and this is how she can help.
My friend's boyfriend is 23 and already has his undergrad and masters and is here working on his PhD. I'll be lucky to get into grad school.
What the fuck happened to being kind of smart but still in the same grade as other kids your age?

And I know she's a bit older than my almost graduating self, but I wish I were friends with Kristen Bell and she could impart some of that Veronica Mars wisdom.

See now, the thing is I think Miley Cyrus looks more natural and fifteenish in that photo than she has looked in any of the tarted up Disney photos I've seen of her. She actually looks young and fresh. Note to fifteen-year olds: less make-up, you don't need it.

Why is this photo more controversial than the whole take a child and exploit the hell out of her and merchandise everything she does approach that Disney takes?

The ability to laugh, gasp and show cleavage on screen in no way makes you "accomplished." Not to mention that gathering a bunch of post-graduate degrees does not make someone better/smarter than you.

So to you younger 'Jibans, don't sweat it. Some people just figure their shit out sooner than others. I had no idea what I was doing when I was 23, and spent most of my time drunk, stoned, stupid, and working at jobs I didn't really understand.

10 years later and I've got a job, wife, and life that I couldn't possibly be happier with.

So if you're in your early 20's and doing better than I was at that age? Just think what the future should hold for you.

Anyway. If you'll excuse me, I have a zombie army of evil to assemble.

Re: Miley Cyrus Satan on a Twinkie, this a lot of hoo-ha about nothing. I've even seen posts by 'tards saying that this is child abuse. If you're getting turned on and sexually aroused by a picture of someone's bare back to the point where you have to jack off or are outraged by same, you've got much deeper problems of your own to deal with.

As for the squashing fetish, ehh, it's no different then the "foot crush" fetish that is a big hit over in Japan. Basically models wear stiletto heels and literally crush anything and everything ranging from live kittens and puppies to miniature models of cities.

Why is this photo more controversial than the whole take a child and exploit the hell out of her and merchandise everything she does approach that Disney takes?

Funny thing is, the Cyrus/Disney camps are the ones making the big deal over it, ironically creating 10X the publicity over the shoot if no one had said anything. It's almost as if the whole thing was carefully orchestrated. Huh?

TK, apparently Disney's pretty much covered the zombie army of evil.

It's almost as if the whole thing was carefully orchestrated. Huh?

Bing bing bing bing, I think we have a winner.

I always knew that Travolta character was a fag, I saw him on Oprah once talking about how much he loves cute little puppies. In my book any man walking around talking about puppies is a flaming Homo. And from what I know that plane he owns is nothing but a queer magnate, him and his friends use it to go on queer dates so nobody will see them.

This is true, TK, and the 20s just weren't made for me anyway, so I had a pretty dismal time in them.

Not that envy and crushing failure never cross my mind.

But those girls are definitely not the ones to feel bad about yourself with. Go for something classic! Johnny Marr was 23 when he broke up The Smiths. George Harrison was 27 when the Beatles ended. Now that's shit that'll keep you up at night! As I've mentioned before, I look to Stuart and Stevie in Belle and Sebastian and Ted Leo. "Okay, I'm not that old yet and they're just getting to that. Breathe..breathe!"

I quit my life at 24. I owe more money because I went to grad school after that but I'm definitely much more pleased with what I became in the next year.

I know you're right, TK, but I just see these girls and the money they have and I think "Man, if I had that money, I could travel, buy all the cute shoes I could ever need AND still have money to donate to DonorsChoose and UNICEF. And I wouldn't have college loans." Maybe if I were rich I'd act just like they did, but I like to think not.

Kash, I've already decided that I'm taking at least one semester (and more likely a whole year) off before Grad school. This will make me old when I get there, but at least I'll know what I want to do with the degree, rather than falling back on the "I only know how to be a student, so I'm going straight to grad school" panic that I see a lot of people our age doing.

at least I'll know what I want to do with the degree, rather than falling back on the "I only know how to be a student, so I'm going straight to grad school" panic that I see a lot of people our age doing.

It baffles me that anyone would go directly from college to grad school unless they're absolutely certain of their career path. It's been six years (?!) for me between the two, and I wouldn't have done it any earlier.

Jay:

Funny thing is Billy Bragg has a really moving song about getting older and dreams being shattered and finally realizing that you're never going to be the one who goes to the moon and I listen to it obsessively and think, "but you're Billy Bragg: one of the few artists still relevant after 25 years and you helped make The Smiths what they are and you never lost your integrity and your music makes me cry and laugh and get angry and dream so if you don't think you amounted to much, what the fuck is the point for the rest of us?"

I think it's pretty silly for most kids to jump straight from high school to college, let alone from college to grad school. If we all took a year off and worked a real job and had to pay bills, we probably wouldn't have fucked off as much in school and valued the time more. I'm not saying we all did this, just 99.9% of us.

And to whoever said that Miley Cyrus is a butterface a few days ago? Word.

"I just see these girls and the money they have and I think "Man, if I had that money, I could travel, buy all the cute shoes I could ever need AND still have money to donate to DonorsChoose and UNICEF. And I wouldn't have college loans.""

Sorry Genny, you're gonna have to just settle for being a real, actual person instead. Besides, where's the fun if there's no challenge?

When I graduated from college, I was so glad to be finished with school that grad school never entered my mind. Now that I am old and jaded, I think about going back to school, but I'm afraid I'm too old to do it. I just know that I don't want to be doing what I'm doing until retirement, and further education would be the best way to get out of my current position. It's a big case of getting my momentum together to get started.

I graduated college the first time at 21. I did not have a clue what I wanted to do. All I knew was that I was so burned out that school was the last thing I wanted to go back to. So I got a job and worked for two years. By that point, I was ready to go to back to school to figure out if I wanted a second undergrad or to forge onto grad school. Three years and several credit hours of pre-recs later, I start grad school this fall at 27. I will probably be 32 by the time I finish.

Most of my friends at campus are in their early 30s or late 20s and are wanting to go to Med school. There is nothing wrong with taking time off between the first round and second round. It is just a personal thing. My sister went straight through, undergrad and grad, and could not be happier. It just wasn't for me.

I decided to go to library school at 24 but it took another year and half to actually start, so I finished just after turning 28, but a lot of my peers were women at or approaching middle age wanting to get out of working at, say, AT&T and doing something they cared more about. Grad school was just a part time job for me anyway. It wasn't like doing college again, and a lot of it was boring and discouraging, but I sucked it up. Like making yourself exercise, or write something you have to. UNGH! But you just keep going.

So, rlr, I seriously doubt you're too old. Just work out the logistics and do what you want. Most of my classes were at night, you don't necessarily have to drop everything. It can be easier to get scholarships and grants and such for grad school too.

But, yeah, I loathe people who didn't pay for college and started making big money right after graduation before they even needed it. Is that fair? No, it's petty hate. But, they're probably doing jobs I'd hate or would be bored to tears with, or at the very least hate everyone I was working with. If I have anything approaching advice, it's simply that if you don't like where you're at or going, keep doing something about it. If you want to leave your job always have a resume in someone's hands somewhere, go through the motions (same as keeping showing up to your grad school classes), it helps the self-respect during the seemingly endless drudgery because no one, including you, can then say you're doing nothing but moaning.

Paddy, "The Space Race Is Over" can definitely feel pretty bleak, but I at least hope to avoid being the "Goalhanger".

Having mentioned Ted Leo, good god I must mention his song "The Crane Takes Flight". That song helped me stay somewhat sane in the great Jay Crash and Depression of 2004 (economic that is, I was mentally depressed the year before). I'm still climbing out of that year, though I'm at least almost done, but that song always helps.

Yeah, I was more grossed out by a) those pictures of her posing with her dad like a Calvin Klein ad from the '90s and b) the skanky myspace style ones that broke last week. The "arty" ones were rather lovely, in comparison, and I would say that objectively there was nothing wrong with them. She wasn't showing anymore skin than could be seen in a bikini and while context is important, there wasn't anything lascivious about it. Fifteen is such a weird age for stuff like this; teenagers are so smart and so stupid at the same time. That sort of nascent autonomy makes it hard to say whether the fault lies with them, their parents, or whatever adults have apparently gotten them into trouble (I'm sort of thinking of statutory rape laws here). The pictures really aren't that bad, even the ones with Billy Ray; it's mostly just sad how obvious it is that she's packaged and processed like a piece of veal.

That Travolta irked me. He's in a remake of "The Taking of Pelham One Two Three"?!?! He plays the gang leader?!?! James Gandolfini plays the mayor?!?! It also said Denzel's in it, and I bet he freakin' gets Hackman's role from the original.

Thanks so much for ruining my day. The only thing worse would be Michael Bay is directing.

Hey, Ben?
Did you just equate killing kittens and puppies with squashing? Because one is between two consenting adults, and one is morally reprehensible and fucking disgusting.

I thought Travolta was much balder and the hair cut looks good on him. The Fumanchu mustache puts him in the lead when the Freddy Mercury biopic comes up for casting. He'll just need the little buck tooth appliance to be perfect.

My prob with the Cyrus photo is that the girl looks like one of the undead. What's with the blue light?

And don't ya'll tell me you've never eaten tamales out of a can. Don't lie.

Jay:

You and I have an eerie affinity for the same things (except for the baby-longing). I never thought you would know what song I was referring to.

You guys are idiots. Obviously, that's not Miley Cyrus. That's Hannah Montana. Or her evil twin, Ol' Kentucky Shark.

boo? Was that you at the James Blunt show, chasing after him like a wild harpy?

C'mon, you can tell us.

Come on now. This whole Miley Cyrus thing is a publicity stunt, to phase in Miley 2.0: The Grown Up Miley. It's foolish to think that she was taken advantage of by VF. Her parents were there, she surely had a professional representative there - everyone around her had a hand in what pictures ended up in the magazine.

Greer, you're not the only one. I get a "I'll devour your soul" vibe from her in that pic.

But no, I don't eat canned tamales. Some things should just not exist.

Alabama Pink--

How goes the cancer treatment? You're in my thoughts.

Maybe Gary Coleman will end up as a fallen angel, living in a bus station locker, shining shoes. He can change his name to "Andy Shane" and travel to second rate talk shoes in Buffalo with his bedazzled cowboy friend and a gun, threatening to harm anyone who calls him "Gary" or asks him to say "What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" He can promote the Psychic Friends Network despite the fact that a)he has no friends and b)nothing good has happened to him in 25 years. He could do ads for CashCall, confessing, "No one would lend me money, not even my relatives." Followed by, "Pay your bills on time and everyone will love you." If all else fails, he can run for governor of California and when he loses, get a job as a security guard. While shopping for a bullet proof vest, he can punch a tall, obese woman in the chest for requesting an autograph. In his defense, he can claim in court that she insulted his career and he couldn't reach her face.

And here I thought I was the only person who'd seen "On The Right Track" (and in the theater no less! And many, many times after).

I am moving right now (wheee, house number 37. I'm so enthralled.) and amidst the miserable carnage of packing, I found the 'New Joys of Jello' cookbook. The imagery confirms that almost all food of the 70's was made with Jello. Even bacon-wrapped meatloaf with pineapple gravy. I bet it gives those tamales a run for their money.

First off, thanks for the words of advice TK, and good luck with your zombie killing. Second, I know your not supposed to feed the Trolls, but Pookie? Who the fuck do you think you are? John Travolta annoys me too, but you have a whole lot of nerve to use the word fag, asshole. Do you think bashing us gays somehow makes you cool? Unless the next thing you say is a fucking apology, I don't want to hear it. Listen up, you piece of shit: I'm a teenager, I love puppies, and I like guys. I'm gay, but I am NOT a fag.

I personally would love to be present at that Miley Cyrus photoshoot. I can just see it now. "Okay, why don't you put your clothes on, and we'll just finish up with a few more pictures."
"Hey, can my Daddy be in them?"
"Sure, father and daughter pictures would be adorable."
"C'mere Daddy!"
"Umm..Are you sure you want to pose like that?"
"Yea! What's wrong with this? Oh, and lets not smile, we'll make it reeeaalll serious-like."
"Right, of course. Does your hand have to be on your daughter's thigh? Thankyou, that was just...it..wasn't in frame. Excellent, thankyou." *Shudder*

She is a very sexy and brave girl. Recently I heared of some odd news about her at http://www.bigblackconnect.com/ , they surprise me very much.

She is a very sexy and brave girl. Recently I heared of some odd news about her at
__ Bigblackconnect.com __ , they surprise me very much.

Serena,

You are aware that Fred Willard was quite right when he said in "Best Of Show", (referring to dogs): "Y'know, it's hard to believe that there are countries in the world where they eat these cute little guys." And not as a delicacy either, but as an everyday meal. if killing puppies and kittens is as you shriek and bleat, "morally reprehensible and fucking disgusting", then what about killing cows? Or turkeys? Or chickens? Or bunnies? Or aligators? Or crocodiles? Or great white sharks? Or blue whales? Or ticks? Or fleas? Or ants? Or the head lice that are quite obviously living and noshing on your addle brained little head?

If you're going to take a stupid moral stand such as ""killing kittens and puppies is morally reprehensible and fucking disgusting," then you have to apply that to every single form of life on this planet, including any and all plant life and all different forms of virus and microbes.

You don't get to pick and choose just because thinking of puppies and kittens gets your twat so juicy and makes you so horny that you have to rush to the frig and grab that 14 inch long cucumber and fuck your cunt 'till it bleeds.

That's bigotry and racism of the worst and most vile kind.

Ben, calm down! Certainly this doesn't have to resort to veggie-cest. Could it be that she meant "squishing them to death with a high heeled shoe" was reprehensible and disgusting? It would be reprehensible and disgusting if one were to squish a cow to death, too, just a hell of a lot mre time consuming.

Ticks, eh, not so much, but you do realize that different cultures value different life forms in different ways based often on the different characteristics of said life forms, right? Flushing a tick down the toilet is hardly the same as flushing a dog down the toilet, but then again, I've never had a dog attach itself to my scalp with the sole purpose of engorging itself with my blood, either.

"Calm down,"?

Look frumpiefox, if that S your real name, I am so calm and cool and collected that I ooze across the floor and can't stay in any chair.

Serena is the one who is all horny and turned on and who loves to fuck puppies and kittens, not me. That sort of shit is vile. V-I-L-E.

Was no one else disturbed by the JELLO? Come on people. Fruit jello, pineapple, Dreamwhip and CHEESE? I just threw up on my keyboard, and that's because I remember eating that quivering pile of gleet once. They never warn you about the cheese.

Hmmmm, seems I mistakenly wandered in to a private spat.... Don't mind me, I'm backing out slowly.

BWeaves--I once tried one of those freaky Jell-O recepies because it seemed so simple, and relatively edible. The ingredients were Lemon Jell-O and tomato paste. They called it aspic. It tasted much the way the name implies.

if those jell-o recipes gross you out, check out "the gallery of regrettable food". i bought my chef sister this one year for christmas. funny stuff. the days when aspic was an acceptable dinner. blech.

I was wondering... how does that pineapple-jello goo qualify as "salad"?

Is there some discrepancy in the "salad" concept between the U.S. and Europe?

N. Wood:

According to my copy of "The Art of Salad Making" (Carol Truax, 1968), salads are pretty much some stuff chopped up and mixed with other stuff. Truax starts her introduction with a vision of her father: "When he came home from the courthouse, he would doff his high silk hat, and his otter-collared greatcoat, and come to the nursery to continue my education in things that mattered.... I have spread the gospel of salad ever since."

Chapters of this indispensable reference include: Meat Salads, Platter Salads, Fish Salads, Molded Salads (also known as aspics: "Aspics are the jewels of the salad family," p. 81), and dessert salads, where such aforementioned pineapple-Jello goo fits in. (Though Carol Truax's prefered pineapple salad consists of pineapple, marshmallows, maraschino cherries, cream cheese, mayonnaise, heavy cream, and lettuce (optional]).

"Where in the holy hell is this all going," I hear you ask. What it comes down to is that lead from all of the canned food American people ate in the middle part of the 20th century caused severe brain damage, especially in the highly-regarded cookbook writing segment; thus, most recipes from the time period are ungodly combinations of store bought, pre-processed, fattening, and freakishly prepared foods from which we as a nation are still trying to recover, either by labeling such foods with the semi-perjorative "comfort food," or by updating the dish with fresh or even completely different ingredients (see Green Bean Casserole, toasted cheese sandwich [previously toasted Velveeta sandwich].)