Pajiba

If that't the human giant clip I'm thinking of (cannot watch such things at work) it makes me happy to see Will Arnett being funny again.

Best part ever: when the photog walks in sans celebrity mask.

"Who are you?"
"Oh, right (puts on mask)."

Beautiful.

I'm with Jayne, I can't eat creme brulee without fondly thinking of how Amelie loved to crack the sugar. And I LOVE Chocolat, I can't help it. It's set in France! And it has Johnny Depp with a guitar! And delicious looking chocolate! And And Alfred Molina! And Lena (motherfucking hot ass) Olin! And jaunty music! ...and Johnny Depp!

Ah, Moving Violations. I haven't thought about that movie in years.

"Are you going to be a good boy?"

"Yes Mommy, yes!"

I had that same food effect after I saw Marie Antoinette. Man, did that movie suck, but those pastries looked fucking delicious!

I should have run to the nearest Fannie May to gorge on Mint Meltaways, but I had to make do with a cupcake. Sigh.
It just wasn't the same.

Oh, great. It's not enough that a woman with my exact name had to eat a bug on televsion and then start dating George Clooney, so now she's a turbo-slut to boot? Awesome. That's just fantastic. Now when I'm introduced to people, not only will they think I'm a scorpion eating famewhore, but they'll think I've got Valtrex in my purse and I'm available for rent by the hour to promote some cheap ass liquor.

Wait... that's not Sarina?

I don't know if I'm relieved or disappointed. Maybe both? Maybe I'm just hungry.

Fuck, it's been a long-ass day, people.

Also, re: my nightmare at traffic school, let me just say this: drive more carefully, people. Please, for the love of all that is holy. Treat my story as a cautionary tale.

Yes, my suffering serves to both amuse and educate.

Hee! Sarina, I got you beat. My roommate was watching an episode of one of those stupid wife swap shows (ugg) and I was reading Ulysses or War and Peace...or an issue of Entertainment Weekly.

The one swapee was sent to live with a lesbian family, and she made so many horrific comments about handicapped children, gay people, anyone who wasn't white, etc that we were gasping/laughing in horror. Then her name popped up at the bottom of the screen...Julie My-Exact-Last-Name. We. Were. Dying.

We lovingly refer to her as "Bizarro Julie."

"...I've got Valtrex in my purse and I'm available for rent by the hour to promote some cheap ass liquor...."

Sooo...that's a no?....Damn...I was looking forward to an entertaining night...

Not really to do with this discussion, but since you mention the awesome Titlepage, did you all know that April is National Poetry Month? And if you log on to Knopf, they will e-mail you a poem a day all month long for free. I've been doing it for 3 years and they never ever follow up with any marketing or push stuff during the year, just one little poem a day for a month.
If you want to join the Poem-a-Day party, http://www.randomhouse.com/knopf/poetry/poemaday

George, I guess you got bored with all that nation building shit you be talking about at the U.N., huh?

Thanks, PaddyDog!

I signed right up on that one.

Noticed they also offer recipes. Poetry and recipes. Emailed every day. Sigh.

This week I shall bake a chocolate cake and write a sonnet in your honor.

If I was Will Arnett, I would start a website where I would charge people to record their voicemail and answering machine messages, and become a millionaire in the process. That man just made me cry whilst talking about his dick barfing.

Sarina I just had to check your blog to make sure that you weren't someone I babysat for who ALSO has that exact same name. I don't think that's the case. But yeah, George, saying "you could do better" might actually be the understatement of the year. Call me, I'll help show you the way.

"You travel with that thing?" Classic.

Huh, Poetry month, I'll have to see about that.

Much like ShinyKate, Paddy, I shall bake a Blueberry Pie Haiku in your honor.

Yummy Blueberry
Gonna eat the ass off it
Fuck that's some good pie

Bake at 350 degrees, and enjoy.

"You got my balls wound up so tight! I've gotta pant full of bone. I'm gonna babysit your vagina."

I died. Litterally.

I love Will Arnett.
... I'll be in my bunk.

Thanks ShinyKate:

If I have a choice, I prefer my sonnets on the Petrarchan side with a hint of Shakespeare.

TK:

I'm so touched,I have no words. I'm picturing a jug of wine, a blueberry pie, a zombie or two and thou beneath the bough.

Man, a discussion of delicious food AND johnny depp. My world is complete. I'm such a foodie, and by that I mean I love to watch the food network, but I can only cook a total of three things. O.k, is it completely wrong to have a crush on Alton Brown? I heart geeks. I can't help it.

O.k, is it completely wrong to have a crush on Alton Brown?

Never. Never ever.

I love food and I love geeks, so Good Eats is a perfect amalgam of stuff that makes me happy.

Julie, thank you, I feel better about my sad sad crush on him. Good Eats IS the perfect amalgam and I loved his road trip special. Is everyone thinking what I'm thinking? PAJIBA ROAD TRIP!

Oh LittleDead...haven't you heard of the Pajiba Bus(ted) Tour/Murder Spree?! We'll be sure to pick you up in Skittimus Maximus' Murder Tank, you just have to promise to bring weapons and some form of alcohol. :)

Julie, I heard rumors but no one has formally invited me. Oh, this just makes me so happy and in no way gives any hints about the sad state of my life. I shall bring loads of weapons and alcohol. I'll even cook something good. Any preferences? I have only one request. Can I be given a chainsaw and five minutes alone at a showing of "Superhero Movie". Pleeeeeaaasssee!

"motherfucking hot ass", yes, but...in the words of Andy Stitzer, that girl scares the SHIT out of me. (food related: "Polish Wedding" didn't improve that at all, but Gabriel Byrne's baker's dignity made me feel better about wearing an apron at my coffee job)

Thanks, Stacey, you answered my question from a few weeks ago. "Moving Violations" has NOT been forgotten!

I was wondering when the Song Chart Meme was going to show it's face on Pajiba - I can't get enough. The Flickr pool is hit or miss, but when it is hit, it is very, very hit. Check it here:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/songchart/pool/

GRRR..... "ITS" not "IT'S." I represent my Public School education so well.....

Jay, it's totally on netflix! How it holds up however, depends on how fondly you remember it as a kid. If you're me, that would be very, very fondly.

Oh my god, I adore Alton Brown. There is no Food Network in Ireland and I miss him so. I want to get rich enough so that I can hire him to cook for me while explaining all sorts of things about how the cooking works with cheesy props. The rest of you can make the sex with him though, he doesn't do it for me in that way.

Genny aka Rusty:

There may be no Food Network in Ireland but if you find yourself down around West Cork, there is Darina Allen's restaurant and all that fabulous raw milk cheese with real flavour (stock up now: you'll miss it when you;re back in the US) and wonderful meat made with humanely raised livestock. Alternatively, my friend Mairtin MacConIomaire does a cooking show on TnaG, the Irish Language channel and Mairtin really knows how to cook and has a fantastic personality.

I just watched the video, I laughed my ass off at this:

"Is that a sex machine? It looks like it hurts."
"That means it's working. It comes with this really romantic fist attachment!"

I wish I could sleep with Will Arnett's growl.

Is it a suprise that Alton Brown has my heart? 'cuz he does, big time. He stayed at the hotel I was managing last year, and I begged all of my friends at the front desk to find a way to need me whenever he was around, but unfortunately our meeting never happened. someday, Alton. some day.

Jayne! How could you not accost him while he was there? You know tackle him to the ground, force him to sign something, pledge his soul, something along those lines. What kind of Pajibaian are you? For shame ... for shame ...

Ok, is anyone here not watching "Human Giant"? Hie thee to the MTV-erie! It's fantastic, and an excuse to watch mostly irrelevant MTV.

Foodie film guide? Copycats.

i don't believe it! two alton brown discussions on two different blogs all in one week!!
he has sexy toys. i love him, too. also duff from "ace of cakes".

and as far as traffic school, in california, you get a ticket, you go to traffic school, or your insurance goes up. and you can only go once a year. and yes, there ARE comedy schools, but the waiting list is impossible, you have to wait for someone to die.
of course that could explain the high zombie population out here.

i actually learned a lot in traffic school, most likely because i "learned" to drive in the south, and got my ticket here in so cal. yes, my ONE ticket. we don't play games here.