Litely Salted's Pajiba Love
Do you habitually troll NSFW gossip/yank blogs for a quick fix 'batin session? Well my friend, you are precisely the type of clientele Disney would like to have visit their extensive line of theme parks and resorts! (Jezebel)
Maybe we should all just cut John Mayer a break, because I'm starting to see that he's really just a misunderstood, delicate flower of a man. (WIMB)
Since I don't share Agent Bedhead's err, "fondness" for Pete Doherty, I wouldn't be particularly dismayed about losing this one to Scientology. (Agent Bedhead)
What did the doctor say about babies? Ah, yes: don't put your baby in the microwave. (QuizLaw)
Juliana Hatfield, who was one of my heroes back in high school, doesn't understand the appeal of the "The Hills." I always just knew we were soulmates! (Pop Candy)
We've already met the expensive one, so now it's time to meet Spitzer's five dollar whore. (IDLYITW)
Well, Wal-Mart may have snatched away the money of a "cripple retard" -- but you know what they don't have? Their precious smiley-face. Ha ha ha! (BoingBoing)
Ewwwwwwwwwwww. (PassiveAggressiveNotes)
Who wants to join the blogosphere's less fictional, charity-driven version of Letters to Penthouse? Like half of you even need an excuse to post sex blogs. (FourFour)
Finally, an honest R&B song, after the jump.
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
21 | | Superhero Movie
Comments
Is it just me, or is Mickey doing a crotch-thrust in that picture?
People shitting in the showers? I guess I should be grateful that they're not doing in the pool.
Or are they?
Posted by: Brie at March 28, 2008 3:56 PM
That's what I thought too, Melody, it looks like Mickey is saying "Gaze at the glory that is my rodent package, ha ha!"
Posted by: Julie at March 28, 2008 4:03 PM
HA! Brie. I just read a comment of hers somewhere else...or I am losing my mind.
Posted by: Julie at March 28, 2008 4:04 PM
Best. R&B. Song. EVER.
Posted by: Slash at March 28, 2008 4:10 PM
At the bottom of the BoingBoing article about the smiley faces, a commenter wrote:
Free!
:)
and for some reason, that simple little comment made my day. Happy Friday!
Posted by: that bees chick at March 28, 2008 4:21 PM
Julie, I am here now.
I was trying to ignore mental imagery of Mickey and whatever motion that he is doing in that picture.
For some strange reason, the pose that the mouse is making there is reminding me of a parody video of Michael Jackson's "Black or White" video that was done by In Living Color.
Out bad thought, OUT I say!
Posted by: Melody at March 28, 2008 4:22 PM
Uh.. the Juliana Hatfield link actually goes to Quizlaw. Which is too bad, because I LOVE HER.
Quick story... I once saw Jeff Buckley open for the JH Three. She joined him on stage and they did "Lover, You Should've Come Over" together.
I've never seen anything like it. Probably never will. It was nothing short of spectacular. I seriously almost wept.
Stupid Mississippi River, killing Jeff Buckley like that.
Posted by: TK at March 28, 2008 4:22 PM
Quick story... I once saw Jeff Buckley open for the JH Three. She joined him on stage and they did "Lover, You Should've Come Over" together.
My jealousy is on the way to MA to beat you with my copy of Grace, TK.
Posted by: Julie at March 28, 2008 4:26 PM
Julie - be sure to stop by on your way to bludgeon TK - I'm a mere 2 1/2 hours west of Boston!
Posted by: Kolby at March 28, 2008 4:35 PM
You bet your sweet ass I will Kolby...ready the taco dip!
Posted by: Julie at March 28, 2008 4:39 PM
That story of the asshole that put his baby in a microwave is gonna ruin my day. It's one of those 'please end the human species' moments for me, argh.....
Posted by: Andrew831 at March 28, 2008 4:42 PM
Aaaaannnddd....there's the taco dip again!
I always knew Disney was perverting our children, ever since I saw that subliminal message in Finding Nemo telling me to masturbate underwater with a paper bag tied around my neck.
...there was a subliminal message like that, wasn't there?
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 28, 2008 4:45 PM
Taco dip is everywhere.
Shadows, I have seen the effects of autoerotic accidents (I work with a forensic journal), and you are too good a man to end up like that.
Stick to having sex on your bearskins.
Posted by: Julie at March 28, 2008 4:50 PM
Here is the Juliana Hatfield link.
Juliana Hatfield sits at the right tentacles of the Godtopus
Posted by: Dangle McGee at March 28, 2008 5:00 PM
Actually, sex on bearskins sounds really hot....in both meanings....
I love that Walmart got bitch-slapped. Maybe this'll slow their eventual takeover of the planet. Seriously, anyone seen that episode of Sliders when the world is one giant mall? I always think of that whenever I'm forced to go to Walley World for any reason.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 28, 2008 5:15 PM
Someone here once said that Whitney Matheson never says anything negative, and I realized it was pretty true, like when I realized a coworker made me uneasy because he never laughed. So that's a nice change. I've still got the pages from that September(?) 92 Sassy fashion layout with Juliana in a drawer. Sigh sigh sigh.
John Cale's "Hallelujah" is the best. Ppppbbbtt!!
Posted by: Jay at March 28, 2008 5:25 PM
Sorry 'bout that guys -- all fixed!
And oh my God, Mickey is totally doing a crotch thrust. My eyes! I'm not supposed to get rodent dick in them!
Posted by: Stacey at March 28, 2008 5:50 PM
Stop it. Stop posting the links to the passive agressive notes website. You are giving me ideas. I am tempted to post that note in the shower at my gym. Just for fun.
Posted by: greer at March 28, 2008 7:07 PM
Why Mickey?! Why?! Good thing I wasn't big on Mickey Mouse as a child or that would probably put a big giant white stain on my memories. Yuck.
Mr. Sensitivity does have a point about the pictures. But yeah, he really is talking about himself. "No! No! No! That's supposed to be blowing a kiss to the camera! That looks like a stupid fish face! UGLY JOHN! UGLY JOHN! *cries*"
Today's Quiz Law link makes me glad that my work blocks that website.
IN YOUR FACE WALMART! :)
Posted by: Kay at March 28, 2008 10:46 PM
Oh Brie, there are definitely people (hopefully just kids, but I have seen some big turds) shitting in the pool. And the sauna. And the hottub. And most definitely the kiddie pool. One summer when I was lifeguarding we had a mysterious friend we called the phantom pooper who left us presents in various places around the facility.
But really, ask any lifeguard, there are a lot of unpleasant things that pop up in the pool- unwelcome nudity, hot tub 'foam', blood, vomit, feces, and a hell of a lot of snot. I love chlorine.
Posted by: Rahel at March 28, 2008 11:39 PM
Rahel, I can't believe people do that in hot tubs, let alone a sauna. Is nothing sacred anymore?
Stacey, you know you were thinking that about Mickey when you posted that pic. All it needs is a caption that says "Deez Nuts."
Posted by: Brie at March 29, 2008 12:37 AM
microwave your baby? really? can't stand when people are so lazy, Would you cook your turkey in it? I dont think so! Oven is the way to go, it saddens me so much when the joy of a good meal goes in the dumpster, it really is the end of a civilized society.
Posted by: rio at March 29, 2008 9:09 AM
Rachel: And that is why I don't use any sort of public pools/hot tubs. The sauna though...that really saddens me. It's just nice after a workout, and to know that I could go in there and... *sigh*
Posted by: Kay at March 29, 2008 3:50 PM
Stupid Mississippi River, killing Jeff Buckley like that.
posted by TK March 28, 2008
I love the beautiful song Rufus Wainwright wrote about him, "Memphis Skyline", but I've never actually heard the man himself.
=============
I don't understand how writing about your sex life will help a charity devoted to stamping out rape and child abuse. Surely there's less crass subject matter out there.
==============
As to shower shite, that reminds me of the old Firesign Theater character The Mad Crapper. I wish they would make those radio programs available on Archive along with other absurdists like Bob & Ray and The Goon Show.
Posted by: Matt at March 29, 2008 11:26 PM
Frankly, after my recent trip involving 4 different hostels in Europe, I'd much prefer people had the sex in a sauna or shower area. At least then I can avoid it, unlike when they choose to have it in the bed right next to or above mine and there's not a damn thing I can do. Ugh.
I get the point that John Mayer's trying to make, but he kinda sucks at making it.
Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at March 30, 2008 9:30 AM
Matt, I'd never heard that Wainwright song until I read your comment. I just downloaded it and I wanted to personally thank you for introducing me to it. Wow. That's a hell of a song.
So, thanks.
Posted by: TK at March 30, 2008 1:34 PM
Microwaved baby?!!? ...Puh-leeeze... The meat would end up all kinds of dry, and that is ruining some great eatin' right there. The only part of the baby that could be microwaved is baby-belly bacon. (I hear baby bellies are the comodity of the future) But ONLY if you have one of those nifty microwave bacon racks to drain all the grease off. It makes it healthier you know. ;)
But baby? Think of it as veal. Very tender, but it all depends on the preparation. For the more discerning pallet, I recommend the following.
Combine salt, pepper, and flour in a bowl.
Bread the baby chops and saute in oil until well browned.
Add 1/2 cup sauterne wine and simmer 45-60 minutes, or until meat is tender.
Remove the baby to a hot platter and remove the pan from heat.
Combine cold water, flour, and 1/3 cup of the juice fromt he pan and simmer to a sauce.
Add seasoning to taste.
Pour sauce over baby.
Now...I know I know. Eating baby is cruel. I can see all the uppity PETA types right now pissing and moaning about veal barns and all that 'the baby never gets to graze' nonsense...but I'm a classy motherfucker. And I enjoy a nice tender meal, low in cholesterol. So suck it! And bring me a 5 year old Chardonnay.
Posted by: PissBoy at March 31, 2008 8:21 AM
Quote some rich guy at a New York charity something or other: "Spitzer's case is even more embarassing because he went for such a cheap whore"
i have to stop catering
Posted by: C. Tannenbaum at March 31, 2008 9:34 AM
Pissboy managed to kill a Pajiba Love thread in under 30 comments. Is that some sort of new record?
p.s. You forgot the Tabasco.
Posted by: feramones at March 31, 2008 9:43 AM
Posted by: Lenny at March 31, 2008 12:09 PM