Pajiba

I like my women the way I like my coffee...hot and strong. With a spoon in them.

(Sorry, that mention of coffee had me Izzarding for a while there).

Also, I think the only thing DMX "thinks" about is taking a shit, since he sounds like he's doing just that in every song he's recorded so far.

Oh what I wouldn't give for one of those ball throwing robots!
My right shoulder has a permanent rotator cuff injury and my right elbow just doesn't function properly anymore, all the results of repeated ball throwing to satisfy two obsessive retrievers.

That definition of "Frat Boy" is horribly generic, and extremely funny. And I am very happy to see the demise of the Parker Posey love. God what an annoying woman.

Summer Glau is not my fangirl fantasy. She reminds me of an ostrich.
And I am hooked on those passive aggressive notes.

Ah Paddy, how we suffer for our pets. My dog Rizzo likes to fall asleep between my calves and put his head on my leg so that I can't move or sleep on my side. And yet I let him cause I'm a sucker for fuzzy faces.

What kind of fucking idiots actually purchase a live rabbit, duckling or chick--or more than one--for Easter?!

I mean, seriously, why is this even still a large-scale problem?

Is the majority of the American public mentally retarded? Why does no one tell me these things?

The History of War as told by Food was quite good. I wouldn't necessarily call some of those foods fast foods, though. Sushi and stroganoff take a while to make.

I like my women like I like my coffee, cuuuuuuuuuvered in beeeeeeeeees. (Ahem, sorry).

Hee! Julie:

Our chocolate lab likes to sleep straddled across the bed with his head placed firmly where Mr. PaddyDog's feet should be. Our yellow lab mix likes to huddle between us and then stretch out horizontally for the rest of the night. We haven't needed birth control in years!

Holy crap, covered in bees, I thought of you this morning!

i love you with a never ending love, litely. is that wrong?

the entire kindness plug (with a picture of one of my bunnies) was posted this morning on crazy days and nights, with a couple of other links where you can donate, if you are interested.

yes, it is a problem, a huge problem. the good people at the major chain pet stores don't sell bunnies, but the independents still do.
thanks again, make mine chocolate are the greatest!

That DMX thing cracked me up because it totally reminded me of this exchange in Arrested Development:

Lindsay: For your information, I have a job.
Michael: Really? What kind of job?
Lindsay: Beads!
GOB: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads.
GOB: BEADS?!
Michael: GOB's not on board.

Ha! Paddy, your dogs sound just as presumptuous as mine :) I have to remind Riz that he's the pet, NOT me.

Jerce:

I couldn't agree more. You know these are the same people who get puppies to have under the Christmas tree in a basket because they're incapable of making real holiday memories so they have to buy in to Hallmark moments without thinking of the consequences. There outta be a law.

I think my Otto would drop dead from pure joy if he ever laid eyes on that contraption. He's obsessed with his tenny to the point that he knows the word "ball" and freaks out every time he hears it. He's s good boy.

Or "in a plastic cup!"

She *is* a lovely girl, but Gina Torres, Claudia Black, most women in the Colonial Fleet, about every woman that's even been in the TARDIS, you won't generalize me Popoholic!

I think the Seattle's Best Javanilla shake is a wondrous, guilt-inducing coffee indulgence, but for regular stuff I've completely gotten hooked on Dunkin Donuts with their mysterious cream and sugar dispensing that I can't see and the magical way that pouring the coffee from a friggin burner pot last stirs it all together perfectly every time. And if you make it at home it tastes almost the same! Magical grounds! A French or Italian roast light on the half and half is a nice sipping experience though.

I still don't know why Starbucks opted to use the name "macchiatto" for their caramel latte drink. As "Tony Wilson" once said, you're just fucking WRONG.

Gawd, add me to the "has an obsessive ball dog" club. My incredibly smart border collie knows over 200 words, and my hubs and I actually have to spell "ball" when she's in the room. Otherwise she won't let us move. (It's the border collie stare. Totally unnerving.)

Hee, Kolby, my dog knows ball, duckie, and Bush. Bush refers to the squeaky George W. Bush head/dog toy he likes to chew on. It's cathartic to watch.

Rizzo also knows "Be sexy," which my sister and I taught him over Christmas (to my mother's horror). Instead of rolling over, he rolls on his back exposing his doggie junk. And it never. Stops. Being. Funny. Especially when my mom is yelling at me while he does it. Heh.

I like my men like I like my coffee:

Ground up and packed away in my freezer.

(That one's my favorite ever.)

Oh, I forgot to mention earlier that there is NOTHING funny about DMX. Check out the story behind his animal cruelty rap that has been brushed aside by the media and then see if you ever want to hear the motherfucker's name again unless it's in the obituary section of the newspaper.

roses - That's one of my husbands favorite AD exchanges too. He laughs like crazy every time he says it.

Here Here to Summer fandom! Equal opportunity, of course...she kicks enough ass for both sexes! Is it bad that when I found out she was the Terminator, my mind went to bad places?

Presumption? Ladies, dogs are amateurs at the presumption game...I have to battle my cat every single time we meet for dominance. So far she's winning, but I know her weakness...a balled up piece of paper. She'll throw that around the house all frickin day.

Ya know...I liked Posey....but as an actress. As a person, she seems a little stuck-up. Just me?

How hard would it have been to include poutine-as-Canada in that fast food video? I mean, really. It's fast food! And messy! Maybe the creators didn't want another country represented by french fries.

Continuing the dog thread, my sister's mongrel Maebe is dumb as a post. That robot would just continually pelt her in the face.

Julie...that is hilarious. I laughed myself silly just thinking of that....

Oh, and DMX is still around? Was he ever relevant? I love how every other quote from him in the article was "I don't know" "I don't pay attention to that" "Uhhh....uhhh....I make doodie..."

Okay, I may have made that last one up. Maybe

Ya know...I liked Posey....but as an actress. As a person, she seems a little stuck-up. Just me?

Nope, me too. I'll always love her in Christopher Guest's movies, but I could care less about her as a person.

We like to fuck with my dog's head, one of us will softly whisper "cookie?" and he goes nuts trying to figure out who is offering him a treat.

I can think of two goldens who would have loved that tennis ball machine to death. They belonged to a family we used to vacation with, and we would throw balls, sticks, or crab apples, (when the balls got lost) into the lake and they would LEAP into the (very cold) water to go get them. If we were tired of the game, we would throw rocks. Watching a golden retriever swim in circles looking for it's "ball" that's supposed to be there is all kinds of funny.

Before people start talking about how that's cruel, after a minute or two we'd throw a ball for the dog to bring back, and all was right with the world.

:(
video no longer available!
all my bunnies can tell time (bedtime means snacks) and can count (two cheerios for small buns, 3 for the big ones). we also have to spell OUT, PLAY, GREENS, NUMMIES, and make sure they get even amounts of oats. peek-a-boo and ZOOOOM! are favorite games.
and that's just part of it.
this year, having surgery in the spring, i can't even foster any for a couple of nights (fosters have to go upstairs to keep from spreading any possible disease) so i'm feeling especially helpless.
and believe me, i'm going to be getting enough grief from my own!!

Jeeebus, twig! This was my favorite part:
"Officer Bradley said several beekeepers driving past the accident stopped to assist." How many beekeepers are just driving by?

Right there with you, Brie.

Ya know...I liked Posey....but as an actress. As a person, she seems a little stuck-up. Just me?

You know, it's funny... I was recently reading reviews of local yoga studios out here in Hollyweird (trying to find the best one to blow my $ on). The user reviews for one studio were all about Parker Posey being a regular. And having really, really horrible yoga etiquette.

I know it's petty and trivial, but I just haven't been able to look at her the same way since.

Summer Glau on the other hand, has always struck me as unpretentious awesomeness on legs.

I've always been a big pet lover, but haven't been able to have one in years due to my soon-to-be-ex-roomies. Reading these comments make me so very excited about that changing soon :D

And boo to people who abuse animals. And a solid, River Tam-esque kick to the sternum.

The dog's favorite toy is a tennis ball-sized Scrubbing Bubble which makes a weird squooshing sound when he bites into it. All day, every day...

The cat prefers the plastic ring left behind on the milk carton after you twist off the cap. A couple of those on the kitchen floor and she's in heaven.

One of my cats plays with her food. She knocks a piece of her dry cat food out of her bowl, then bats it around and chases it. I love a pet that can entertain herself and me. Of course, the other cat just looks at her like he's thinking "what are you doing, and why are you annoying me?" They both like the plastic ring from the milk jug, too.

I read that Impulsive Buy post when I staggered in last night, reread the second to last paragraph a couple of times, and attributed it to drunkenness. Oh how I wish I'd let that mental image lie.

one of my cats used to love ice cubes. but they had to be the right kind. those round ones from the store. she would come running when we opened the freezer. she also had a thing about flowers. we couldn't keep flowers in the house. she would sit and stare at them for hours and YOWL until we took them away.
another one took socks. it started with baby socks. then anybody's socks were fair game. she lived to be 19, and has been gone for3 years, and i'm STILL finding socks in weird, out of the way places.
all the bunnies have those plastic key rings that you give to babies for teething. one of them loves to throw them in his water if you aren't paying the right kind of attention.
i'm almost happy we have dog allergies, we'd have to move because the animals would take over the house!

Coveredinbees: I totally just commented on that site about the random bee keepers. Just how many of these bee keepers happened to be driving by? How many bee keepers are in LA? That seems like such a random job.

My dog, Batman, enjoys stealing food. He runs to the door, barking like someone is outside and then when you get up to go look, he tears back into the room and quickly searches for food items you may have left within his reach by accident.

He also has a toy basket. Some might think, oh that's normal. But nooo. He pokes around in it and chooses which toy he wants to play with. If he can't find whatever it is on top, he whines and whimpers and then starts barking at the basket until one of the family members wanders over. He then gets really excited and barks louder as you shift through the basket, picking toys up for him to sniff until he of course chooses the random bit of beef spare rib that you gave him last summer that he still hasn't finished eating.

The DMX link reminded me of one of my favorite videos ever: Read a Book.

That gold easter egg thing is on the list of "Things to remember to do when I have children". The list is really long, and I don't remember half of the crap on it.
DMX is a dumbass.

I like my men like I like my coffee:

Ground up and packed away in my freezer.

That is what I like to call "Going all May on someones ass". Granted, May froze her cat she accidentaly killed and didn't actually grind anyone up....but it works.

What I imagine has to be worse than homeless rabbits around Easter are the baby ducks and chicks. Every pet store I set foot in during the months of March and April has those animals tarted up and dyed pink and green, and at 2.99 a pop they are practically irresistible.

But the shelf-life of their cuteness is shorter than rabbits, and they can't use litterboxes. I can only imagine the psychotic parents who purchase a couple of those and then chuck them into the woods as soon as they realize they have spent their money on a pink shit-factory.

My cat, Sheena, loved the plastic rings from milk jugs too. Not only would she chase them and then throw them up in the air and do a funky dance to catch them but she would carry them around in her teeth to a place she was most comfortable playing with them. She's gone now (almost a year) and she was a beautiful yet evil little kitty - but she was my beautiful yet evil little kitty.
Her housemate, Patches, will just chase the occasional stray Cheerio around for fun.

Ahhh, baby and animals in the same clip today. Life is good - when it is not totally sucking balls. Nice clip, Litely.

Aaah you see I like my coffee like I like my women: in a paper cup.

But that's besides the point.

I don't do this. Ever. But I'm going to get involved with the pet stories: My dog (yes, I have one) was taught to beg by my mother. But not just beg - it started with him putting his paw up to receive a treat... it has now developed into him sitting in a room with you and if you happen to mention a foodstuff that he feels like eating he will run up to you and start waving his paw at you. Damned entitled mongrel.

I'm working on getting the paw response to the phrase "heil hitler" because I think it will be amusing for our next family gathering.

My cat Mickey (now dearly departed) had a thing for sleeping on pillows - usually curled around your head. He was also a hunting cat and liked to pounce on anything that even twitched in his vicinity (and yes, that included your skull - sleeping was a stressful activity). But his favourite thing to chase was feet, he got very distressed if we wore socks or slippers around the house and would yowl at us until they were removed, you had to put up with having your feet pinned down and washed at least twice per day or put up with an incredibly irritating (and destructy) cat.

*Sigh* I miss my kitties.

*ahem* This gushing over animals never happened, ya hear?

ShinyKate,

I'm curious - what does 'horrible yoga etiquette' entail exactly? Farting upside down?

Anyway, I wouldn't say you were being petty or trivial. Manners are important. If somebody puts their feet on the seat on the tube, or lights a cig under a 'no smoking' sign, or queue-jumps, or talks in the cinema... well, I think I know all I need to know about that person.

I am all about pet stories. My cat has a seat at the table, and when she wants some food she puts her paw on my lap and gives me her "hey what am I, Chopped Liver" look and I fold. I always fold.

Haha...my hellcat has an obsession with paper and plastic. yeah, there's the balled up piece of paper she'll play with all day, or the plastic rings off milk cartons she'll play with til she gets bored and hides them (one year, when I lifted the couch to vacuum under it, I found a pile of them)....but she has this tendency to want the paper you have. If you are holding a sheet of paper, and have the audacity to set it down without balling it up for her...she will immediately walk over and lay on it. You could have put it down literally three seconds ago, and when next you turn your head, she's already spread all over it as if she'd been there for hours. And then will stare you down when you protest that it's your piece of paper.

Hey Tarn, thanks! But now I'm feeling like a nasty gossip monger for having brought it up.

To answer your question in the most generalized way possible, things that bother me in a yoga class have included but not been limited to: talking on your bluetooth during class, hostility toward the instructor and/or fellow students, aggressively invading the space of fellow students, placing your mat directly in front of someone else's (as opposed to "making windows") thereby preventing the student behind you from being able to check their posture/alignment/etc in the mirror during class, blowing your nose and tossing the snotty kleenex into someone else's space and/or not disposing of said snotty kleenex after class...

and, My Favorite: skeezy people blatantly checking out other students and even "accidentally" brushing their hands against another student's body during class. *shudder*

Oh, pet story! I have one! A dog I used to petsit liked to lie at your feet when you ate. On his back. With his head pillowed on your feet. If you dropped any food, he'd simply catch it in his mouth. Man, I miss that dog :)

My skinny cat, Roz, in addition to liking cheese (not only does she know the sound of the cheese grater, but also the sound of the cheese drawer opening) has a fondness for baked goods: doughnuts (but the cake kind, not the puffy kind), pancakes, waffles, biscuits. Also, when we were more in the habit of eating ice cream, she knew the sound of a Ben & Jerry's container being opened.

My fat cat, Widget, really doesn't care about people food now that she has achieved her goal of being a fat cat with constant access to dry food. Sometimes she'll come into the kitchen when Roz is demanding something, to see what the fuss is about, but 9 times out of 10, she'll just leave behind what we offer her.

I like to use Widget as an example of successful goal-setting. She had a goal--to be a fat cat--and she persevered through the various obstacles I set in her way.

My vet doesn't even yell at me about it. (Otherwise, I'd have a fat cat and a dead cat, instead of a fat one and a skinny one.) At our last visit, she said, "Well, the good news is that Widget had her smallest weight gain yet."

Shockingly, Widget does not seem to be taking to heart the warnings I give her about kitty diabetes and kitty heart attacks...

passiveagressivenotes.com is completely addictive.

Seriously.

Le boyfriends cat is a complete psycho for anything hair related. I always seem to forget that fact and let my hair dangle over the edge of the couch. Let's just say it's a good thing I don't have a sensitive scalp. I once made the mistake of leaving three bobbypins out while I was doing my hair and they all dissapeared within minutes. If that little hellcat wasn't so damn cute and fluffy I may have kicked her out by now.

Kristin Davis sucking dick of fat producers for parts is a little disappointing but that asymmetric nose job she had where her right alar cartilage tip between the medial and lateral crus is a little higher than the left is pretty unique. The question is who is the lard tard. Is she doing a movie for Harvey Weinstein or Scott Rudin? I know Rudin is gay but he might switch hit for Kristin. I just assumed that the entire SATC cast was lezbo with Sarah Jessica horse face being in some sort of mutually bearded deal and Cynthia Nixon coming out was about as surprising as Queen Latifah.

my cat gambit paws at the stickers on bananas until you take them off so he can "pick them up". once they're stuck he freaks out and zooms around the house.

i bookmarked those golden eggs. i need a change from the peanut butter eggs i make every year. i will make them. just not this easter (sorry veruca).

ShinyKate,

yikes! Nasty people!
I've had similar experiences with charming fellow gym-goers (in the days when I could be arsed to go). Every place people gather has it's own etiquette, for good reason. And I've found wherever there's etiquette, there's assholes who flout it...

On a lighter note, that sounds like a really lovely dog!