Pajiba

Aw, we love you, Everyday Normal Guy!

Thankfully, I've never watched American Idol. And have no intentions of doing so. TK's rant was much appreciated.

Well put, TK...very well put. Far too polite for my tastes, but still...

I love Chuck Taylors. When you're a vegetarian, canvas sneakers are kind of your only option, sneaker-wise. There is a glaring omission in their list of films that feature Chuck Taylors, and that is clearly Thrashin'.

Skipping dinner before a night of drinking was always the way to go in high school. It achieved a dual purpose, I got drunk faster and weighed less the next morning. Sounds like I had me a full on disorder!

Converse are a much beloved part of my weekend uniform. And I am LOVIN' the Mudhoney reference in the title of the Drunkorexia article.

Bravo TK:

I love the way you dissect it into the Trainwreck and the Popularity show. The Trainwreck has always reminded me of how people used to go to freak shows to look at mutilated people with birth defects and other problems. Our "civilization" is supposed to have moved past that.

That's what talk shows, and now reality shows, are, Paddy. Modern day freak shows. Where the normal people can point and laugh and feel good about themselves because at least they're not that freak! Hooo Boy! My life is great in comparison! I may not make enough this week to be able to go to Mickey D's every day for lunch...but by golly, at least I haven't humiliated myself on national TV or have a tumor growing out the side of my head! My life would suck, then!

Gaaaaahhh...not talking about this anymore....

forget the drunkorexia! There's an epidemic of unecessary middle finger wagging i.e, that detestable cartoon to the right (although that cartoonist must have gotten a peek of my tits), Lewis Black (Guinness World Record holder of the longest fingers ever) and now TK!

John, WWF was the 1985 SHIT. Have no shame. Wrestlemania got going, there was a cartoon, it was wonderful. Yeah, by 88 it seemed to peter out a bit, but I was loyal enough to my roots that when the WCW got all big as I approaching college I thought "who the fuck's this upstart?! This ain't the real deal, you people don't even know". Why is Jimmy Hart missing from American life?

I'll stand up for my hood enough to say that that's certainly a Waffle House crowd who came from all over, but not really a *Duluth* crowd. They just happened to be in Duluth. Those might be some of the people who are bothered by quite how internationale it's gotten around here. See Chez's post. :)

So -- no one else here tuned in to WWE last year to find out who Vince McMahon's illegitimate son was?

For a microsecond I thought that Celebslam bit said Mandy Moore was a lesbian.

I almost needed some alone time.

Oh, and Shadows? I cleaned it up a bit... the first draft was a lot more... profane.

The audition portion of American Idol IS a modern freakshow. It grosses me out that they think it's hilarious to make a mockery of the clearly mentally ill. It seemed to get worse every season, and now I just can't watch it anymore. I guess if they're just making fun of bad singing, well, the auditioners sign on for that possibility, so fine. If you want to make fun of the people who wear ridiculous costumes just to be sure they'll make it onscreen, fine. But making an obviously mentally unwell auditioner into a sideshow, with the crazy-person music and the unfortunate editing and effing Seacrest? Jesus H.

Can we all just agree that, in the name of justice, all Fox Network executives ought to be raped by mimes?

...and effing Seacrest?

I think he's what would happen if Jim Henson were brought back from the grave, drafted into TK's zombie horde, and forced to mate with Madame Tussaud's. I mean, if it were possible for an undead puppeteer to reproduce with a museum. Anyway, the point is that Seacrest is just like an orange waxy Muppet.

Only dumb like wax, and not awesome like a Muppet.

"...all Fox Network executives ought to be raped by mimes?"

Posted by: Jerce at March 13, 2008 5:42 PM

Just like Sylvia! Will they also fall to their deaths from a ladder in the barn?

Is it just me, or does that chick not seem even possibly worth $2k+ per hour? I'm all in favor of open commerce, and if a man and a woman, or a woman and a woman, or a man and a midget and a donkey and a clown want to swap cash for sex, then they should knock themselves out. But aren't there about 3 trillion better-looking wannabe actress/strippers scouring New York for loose cash these days?

Seriously, I think I'd rather give Ms. Rosie-Palm McSlappit $1,500 per hour and pocket the rest, know what I'm sayin'?

(Hint: I'm suggesting one would be better of spanking Li'l Spitzer and saving the cash.)

Isn't railing against American Idol in 2008 sort of like hauling out the old "Liz Taylor sure likes to get married, huh? Like, what is it now, six?"

I'm sure your next post on airplane food will totally reel me back in.

wsapnin, the awesome thing is your comment ended up directly next to the ad in question. And despite your self-deprecating comment, I think I speak for all the fellas here when I tell you that I still think I'm going to need to have a look for myself.

Out of the middle fingers I saw, the one at the end of TK's rant was by far the most appreciated, timely and meaningful.

Question: Did anyone else get to the Part II part of the American Idol rant and think TK wrote, "Let me ejaculate"? [Internal response: Um, okay. It's your blog, dude, I can't stop you.] What does that suggest about my inner monologue?

Ouch, Mike B..

Although from the bottom of my cold, black heart, it is nice to see some "scathing" come back around this joint.

Not that I'm sanctioning a fight or anything.

Laws no!

Actually, the streaks in the hair are similar as well. I might just have to go check for peepholes in my bathroom. Alas my bellybutton is not pierced--sooo.... maybe I'm actually NOT Britney's older sister. But she's so fucked in the head she wouldn't know the difference and just might cut me a fat check. Sinister plan developing...stay tuned.

And not that I'm watching American Idol, or anything like that.

Ha! The thought...

Heh.

[shifts uncomfortably]

So when does un-cool stuff become cool again?

Boo-- sorry sweets, you gots to wait 20 years. Yeah.. I'm with you, Idol sucks. Yeah.. alot.

Uh, who's your favorite-cuz I like the Australian dude. shh... on the downlow, 'K?

SoCalled--I'm all for sneakypeeks, but you gotsta hurry. mr.wsapnin's out of town tonite only! Oh, and bring smokes and beers.

Damn w, ordinarily I'd line up to be your back door man, but I'm on deadline tonight -- special St. Paddy's Day Boozehound tomorrow, and I'm already four-and-one-half sheets to the wind.

[heh heh, just kidding, Paddy ... put the shillelagh down, sweets....]

Special St. Paddy's Day Boozehound? Tell me it's Darby O' Gill and the Little People! I will dance a whiskey-fueled jig!

Socalled:

Once again you are the voice of reason (and somehow that scares me, given that I know what you've been doing today). After reading the descriptions of these girls and their accomplishments and backgrounds, I was prepared for 3-star Kristen to be a complete knock-out, a Fulbright scholar and UN goodwill ambassador who swaps recipes with the Barefoot Contessa in her spare time. Turns out she's your average Jersey girl with no accomplishments to speak of (I'm being kind in ignoring the music thing). Mr. Paddydog took one look and said "meh, nice rack but nothing else".

Hi.

I don't comment often. Actually, I've commented once, about the Princess Bride. But I love this site. It brings me much joy.

I feel sorta bad that my first post was about a (awesome!!) kids movie and my second is about grammar, but you all are quite the literate (and in many cases English-nerdy) bunch and as such, I was wondering if the text in the NYTimes picture has the potential to be a misplaced (or dangling) modifier. I'm always on the look out for more to use in my own class.

"I need only $4,300 so I can meet me a girl like our Governor Spitzer"

...especially if the reader weren't aware of the entire circumstance, or that Spitzer was female?

Thanks!

Wait. What? There's an Australian dude on American Idol?

Fuck that show. Right. in. the. ear!

yep--there's also an Irish chick.

erm...I mean I HEARD there was an Irish chick.

(damn!)

Hello, my name is NDR and i have Drunkorexia....

HEY BITCHES!!!!!

TK, I have a not-so-original theory about American Idol and all their idiot cousin shows. The worse things are in the world at large, the more asinine TV gets, because people need it to be.

My mother first told me this in one of her rare lucid moments. Her one example, though, was "Vietnam and Laugh-In" so I don't have much as supporting evidence, but there you go.

I think study abroad semesters make me drunkorexic. Seriously, I stand around the food store a lot debating: "Now, I could get real meat this week, but that means I can only have two drinks on the two nights I go out or four drinks on one night.... where's the cheese?" My liver is going to be so happy when I'm back in America and away from the evil siren song of Kopparberg Pear Cider.

I have never watched American Idol and I'm in no position to start now. I won't judge those who do, suffice to say I don't see the appeal.

Mojo - it obvious that he just misplaced his copy of Eats Shoots & Leaves

I live to server Stacey

Oh well wsapnin, Makes perfect sense. ish. An Irish guy won Australian Idol last year. And I wouldn't know that I swear except that he turned up hosting (and I shit you not) some show about children in hospital. Irish accent + sick kids = unmitigated schmaltz.

*pukes in corner*

Mr. Paddydog took one look and said "meh, nice rack but nothing else".

My best friend's comment: "The tits are obviously fake, in the sense that she wasn't born with them. Not fake in the sense that I would really like to touch them, and they would really be there for me."

He's my best friend for obvious reasons.

Genny: Welcome to my daily life sweetness (and oh yes the sweet peartastic joy of Kopparberg - although unfortunately I can't drink it any more because it has serious emotional attachments to a boy who is seriously bad for my overall mental health).

I am also totally drunkorexic, although normally it's because I go drinking at five and then pretty much forget to eat. Unless bar snacks count as food?

I'm skipping lunch and dinner so I can go for cocktails this evening but that's a) mainly a money issue (apple pie martinis are damned expensive - I hope you're listening boo, this is where I'm taking you) b) not as bad as it sounds as I will get vitamins from fruity tasting drinks and actual food from the filthy takeaway I inevitably insist on at 3am.

MoJo:

If you read the NYTimes regularly, you'll see that grammatical and other text-based offenses are a daily occurrence and not confined to (potentially staged?) pictures. The NYTimes insists upon using an apostrophe to denote plurals when they initialize a term such as "the doorman asked for their ID's". They do this unapologetically and have ruined an entire generation of Americans who now believe this is correct punctuation. It has spawned more letters of objection than most anything else the Times has ever done including an especially vociferous (if one can be vociferous in writing) camoaign about 7 years ago. And yet, they persist in torturing me and others who know how to punctuate and how to pluralize terms. Come the revolution, they will pay.

Alex The Odd:

Invest in some fresh squeezed organge juice or if that's too expensive, some Vit C tablets. You lose Vit C more than anything else from drinking and replenishing it will make you feel much better than most other hang over cures.

Yes. It appears I have turned into your mother.

RE: iPod tampon dispenser:

I'm pretty sure someone over at Craftster has done just that. They are big on tampon holders and dispensers. If you search around enough, you'll find many tutorials on how to convert pretty much any material into a tampon holder. Sadly, I'm not joking.

Paddy:

Oh shit, do they??? It's bad enough to see it on mailboxes. "The Anderson's". Please! There's an unnecessary apostrophe photo blog isn't there? I'm a big fan of the unnecessary quotation marks one.

Regarding drunk damage, did you know alcohol numbs the dam in your brain so you forget to retain any water and piss it all out? The things you learn at a shelving job in the science library. Oh yeah, take a bunch of Vitamin B too. You can get those B-Complex + C tablets so you've got the C replenishment and the B speeding the alcohol through and out of your liver. I take these beforehand with a couple of aspirin and I'm pretty well fortified. I'm a lightweight so I need it too, but a pro drinker taught me.

Well, Alex, if I ever get over to England maybe we can celebrate our eating/drinking disorders together. And yeah, pizza places that stay open past when the pubs close are a huge weakness of mine. "But they have free garlic dip!" still not a good idea.

When I was back in Miami and going out on school nights I would keep a stock of Vitamin Water's "Revive" in my fridge. Not as tasty as, say, XXX, but a great way to get your feet back under you the next morning. I'm looking for a suitable substitute here in Ireland, because right now my only hang-over buster is to drink a bunch of water when I get back home, which does not address all the hangover problems.

Oh, I'm listening Alex.

I'll bring the Emergen-C.

Jay:

I'm going to be your mother now too. Don't take aspirin in advance of going out boozing. Your liver doesn't need that kind of shit piled on all at once. Give the organ time to metabolize the alcohol before you start throwing chemicals at it. Trust me. You'll thank me when you're 50. Also, there is a Home for Abused Apostrophes. If you're interested, I'll post the link.

Genny (also Rusty):
Try Lucozade (original flavour). You can find it in any little shop in Ireland.

...Lucozade...

Aw, liquid memories of my childhood! Now I want MiWadi.

Apostrophe abuse makes me twitch. The ex Mr TheOdd lived with a girl doing an English degree who could not for the life of her figure out how they worked. An English degree, people.

"But they have free garlic dip!" is never not a good idea! It's all about dipping the crusts or, if you're me, the entire pizza. And yes, Genny any time you hop across the water give me a shout I'm always looking to add to the ranks of my drinking buddies.

Thanks PaddyDog, you really are my internet Mother you know. And never fear - I'm a smootie freak at the moment so I'm getting plenty of Vitamin C. Also: amen on the Lucozade - oh how I love it. It gets me through tattoo sessions with it's sweet glucosey... sweetness.

I am fascinated by the idea of your magical potion boo and if it does anything less than ridding me of any trace of hangover there will be trouble.

Jesus Fuck, people. If you require that level of preparedness/medication before, during, or after you go drinking, than God did not mean for you to be a drinker. Alcohol is obviously not your friend.

Also: I'll repeat what PaddyDog said, please don't take asprin directly before or after drinking. You'll feel great the next morning but take it from the biochemist - hangover is better than permanent liver damage. Liver damage is bad.

M'kay?

For those of you who are interested:

The Home for Abused Apostrophes in Truro, Cornwall is a haven for little punctuation marks which have been cruelly misused by greengrocers and other uncaring notice-writers. Here they may be cosseted and coddled by a punctuation-enthusiast; allowed to mix with other survivors of apostrophe-abuse; perhaps one day returned to the community to do useful work in contracted words or to show ownership.

It can be found at:http://www.suepalmer.co.uk/apostrophes.php

Is it weird that I've never had a hangover? And I used to be a sailor! Loads of crazy drunken nights and none of the bleary mornings.

Trouble: If you hear a smash of glass in the night don't worry. It's just the wind. It most definitely isn't me breaking into your house so I can kidnap you to use as a test subject. Not in any way, shape or form is that what that noise signifies.

Now where did I put my stock of TAQ polymerase?

Maybe I'm not drinking the right things (even though there was that memorable night of Absinthe!) What combo usually puts you under?

I do not concur, TK. Alcohol is definitely my friend. Age is not.

Hee. I know. I'm not old. Just getting older every day I don't have sex.

GAH!!! I need a drink.

OH! The Carolina game is on at noon. So I WILL have a drink! YES! GO HEELS.

Okay, I'll keep my vitamins but hold off on the aspirin. I drink once every couple of weeks anyway, so it's not a constant barrage of anything. We would DEFINITELY not be friends if we saw each other every day!