Pajiba

When I saw that PBS link about JLo, I thought "I KNOW she didn't name those kids Bert & Ernie, or Elmo & Grover or something."

I've heard of worse pregnancy cravings, Litely. At least that lady's trying to eat healthy. Ever heard of Pica? That's a disorder where people (usually pregnant women) crave things that aren't edible, like Spray Starch, clay, soil, sand, etc. Nothing like munching on some leftover bricks by the side of your house.

Brie, I've heard of that disorder...my good friend worked with someone who used to eat the drywall from her basement when she was pregnant. Thankfully my other girlfriend who is pregnant is just craving olives by the bucketfull.

My wife isn't much of a reader, so it was me going through the various pregnancy books and stopping her from eating sushi, cold cuts, hot dogs, etc. It never occurred to me that people around the world eat sushi all through pregnancy! It is true that every book and doctor has a different opinion on this topic.

As someone who is six months pregnant, I have to admit that some of the food rules do seem a little excessive (and one wonders how the human race has managed to procreate at all in the past). But I also know that if I did choose to ignore them and something went wrong, I would feel all kinds of guilty. I figure it is only 9 months, I can suck it up (as a former Catholic I think of it as just an extended version of Lent). However, I do hear your friend on the mac & cheese cravings!

the other day i bookmarked an uncensored link to those javier pics...i guess that's too much information.

cap'n crunch tears up the roof of your mouth. does the ice cream soothe the pain? i'm not trying it, well, maybe if they throw in some crunch berries.

Through all three of her pregnancies, my mom craved chalk. Regular, schoolroom chalk. To this day, she'll munch on a piece experimentally just to see what her fascination was with it. She told us she just ate it like candy...loved it.

...damn...maybe that's why I'm so messed up.

Cap'n Crunch is used to darwin out the children too stupid to consume breakfast cereal without suffering massive internal injury. Just like monkey bars and red rubber playground balls. Only the strong will survive.

HAHAHA, it's actually "Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!"

Look for John C. Reilly at a wine tasting. It's amazing.

CHALK?! That's amazing, it's so fascinating what pregnancy does to your body. My Mom Mom knew my mother was pregnant with me because she threw up from the smell of fried chicken, one of her favorite foods...my Mom Mom immediately was all "Ooh! Pregnant!"

Knowing me and my weird aversions to basic food, I'll probably crave cute baby puppy jerky or yarn.

Knowing me and my weird aversions to basic food, I'll probably crave cute baby puppy jerky or yarn.

Fortunately, Julie, they sell both at the Q-Mart.

That stinks of false advertising. After all, how do you know the puppies were cute? You have to take their word for it. And if they're making jerky out of baby puppies...what makes you think they'll make sure they were cute first? I call shenanigans.

insertclevernamehere, are you talking about the Quakertown farmer's market? Did I read someplace that you were from that area?

And it's a damn good thing I already have an aversion to childbearing, because I swear I hear something new every day which would scare me off any notions for good. Drywall? Chalk? Gah!!

...Quakertown farmer's market

I've been there! Yet I didn't have the presence of mind to look for puppy jerky. :is sad:

Shadows, you make a good point...for all I know I could be gnawing on chihuahua jerky, and I HATE those yappy little bitches.

My appetite didn't change all that much when I was pregnant - I was pretty hungry at first, though. I didn't stay away from much, really. I was myself, just scaled back a bit. I had wine, but only a glass. I had pasteurized cheese and lunch meat, but was mindful. I did other allegedly verboten things - hot baths (nothing felt better), caffeine consumption, failed to attend birthing classes, etc. I just don't buy that every little thing you do/don't do can harm the baby. I think being insane and controlling about what you eat during pregnancy is a way to tell yourself that everything that will happen throughout the process is in your control (it's not). I understand why people do it, but it doesn't mean that it should be the textbook approach. I really don't think a dirty look or comment when I'm enjoying a Diet Coke while pregnant is warranted or, frankly, medically supported. I'll probably get slammed for this, but when have I held back before on this website?

The little one is fine, by the way, and she waves her eleven fingers so cutely (kidding)!

"the other day i bookmarked an uncensored link to those javier pics...i guess that's too much information."

Me too, kelley... me too. But I think I already outed myself re: Javier at a previous comment-fest!
I found them at a gay site, and the grower/shower type comments cracked me up. Talk about TMI.....

Wow, I can't wait to be puking one minute and craving paint chips the next...ahhhh, procreation.

Seriously, one of my friends could only east Swedish Fish for the first couple of months of her pregnancy, and another ate a Whopper a day for the final 3 months of hers. I'm hoping that, if/when I ever get pregnant, my pretty healthy eating habits won't go away.

I had Pica when I was little, so I can relate to some of this stuff. Something tells me that chalk would taste pretty...interesting. Not good or bad, but interesting. Like Pez. Yarn, on the other hand...no. Too much fuzziness.

Riles, I was surprised about the sushi thing, too. Even if my doctor said it was safe, I probably wouldn't touch it. I'm too paranoid.

Aw man! I have got so many endings I have sadly forgotten, expect a part 2 to my list.

Hell...one of my best friends was a dedicated vegetarian bordering on vegan. She even got her husband (who was also vegetarian) to learn how to carve a tofu block in the shape of a turkey for thanksgiving.

She finally got pregnant, after trying for the longest. And what happened to that "I will never eat meat" thing? In the final trimester she went to Chick Filet every single day, with an occasional steak on the weekends. Couldn't even eat tofu...made her throw up.

insertclevernamehere, are you talking about the Quakertown farmer's market? Did I read someplace that you were from that area?

I am, and you did. I was commiserating on your blog about your local diner getting all kinds of blowed up by a Starbucks.

Ah, Quakertown, my hometown, and our dear Q-Mart, where the booths outnumber the teeth in the vendors' mouths, where you enter through the broken-down department-store doors into a legitimate freakshow bazaar. Where you can buy questionable comestables and discount VCR tapes that are probably dubbed halfway over with snuff films or amateur porn. Where if you know the secret handshakes, and if you're willing to actually touch a hand, you'll enter the black market of homemade explosives and white supremacist paraphenilia. Where you're just as likely to find an autographed copy of Kurt Vonnegut as you are a two-headed sheep. Where the unbearable odor of fried potatoes and grease comingles with incense and fertilizer to gutpunch you into weeping submission. It's the place where dreams muster and fade like Wawa hoagie farts.

Noble Q-Mart, I only hope someone burns you to the ground so you can emerge anew like a developmentally disabled phoenix, or like an over-the-hill stripper bedazzled with sequins where sober men dare not tread.

Thanks for the spontaneous orgasm, Pajiba! (Oh, and coming THISCLOSE to having your boss also see pictures of Javier Bardem naked also deserves some applause!)

And thank God Gael Garcia Bernal's coming out with five--FIVE!!!--movies this year. I need a reason to drag my ass out to the theatres lately...

Ah! so this is where all the good pregnancy comments are instead of on my site! Thanks, Stacey!

Seriously, though, reading all your comments is making me seriously crave jerky. And as it is now 5pm, I'm off to get me some... thanks! :)

Ah! so this is where all the good pregnancy comments are instead of on my site! Thanks, Stacey!

Seriously, though, reading all your comments is making me seriously crave jerky. And as it is now 5pm, I'm off to get me some... thanks! :)

It's the place where dreams muster and fade like Wawa hoagie farts.

God DAMN I love PA natives. Oh the Q-Mart...I haven't been there since college (my roommate was from Quakertown and my good friend from Perkasie), but I can still see the Looney Tunes sweat shirts.

It's okay, samantha t, I'm sure there are worse horror stories. We don't judge.

(Although....Diet Coke? Ewww....)

Tarn, Kelley,
Share, please? These pics were a lovely tease, and I'm at work now anyway, but I'll be home soon, so, um...could you send a sister a link?

I dunno, I had one of those Capn' Crunch shakes last week and was pretty disappointed. It was just a vanilla shake with some bottom-of-the-cereal-box cereal powder mixed in.

That was seriously one of the worst SNL sketches I've seen in ages. Truly fucking awful.

How is that show still on the air?

I am, and you did. I was commiserating on your blog about your local diner getting all kinds of blowed up by a Starbucks.

Ahhh, that's right. Forgive my absent-mindedness.

Sadly though, I've never actually been to Q-Mart. I was more of a Zern's kid growing up -- although it's been a good 5 years since I've even been to Zern's. Fantastic description though, and it could probably apply to either of the famed 'marts.

Tarn, Kelley,
Share, please? These pics were a lovely tease, and I'm at work now anyway, but I'll be home soon, so, um...could you send a sister a link?

javier linkage for em (i feel like a pimp).

i can't wait for those gael garcia bernal movies either. especially rudo y cursi with diego luna and blindness with mark ruffalo.

I've been to Zern's. Shudder.
I think the only difference between Zern's and Q-Mart would be the address. Zern's is "A barn in the middle of East Wherethefuckarewe, PA". The Q-Mart is "On the same rural road with that cabin from Evil Dead, PA".

I craved Grilled Stuft Chicken Burritos from the Bell with 3 or 4 packets of hot sauce poured on top almost everyday for the last month. And at my weekly appointments I would cry because I just could not understand why I was still gaining so much weight. Durr. I guess the lobotomy was free with the pregnancy.

So, if someone on SNL happens to appear in a sketch about something, then it means that they believe in/are that something? Tracey Morgan is homeless and lives in a sewer? Amy Poehler is a one-legged gassy gal? Jimmy Fallon is a giggly idio...wait. There may be something to this.

Almost forgot...I read that there is going to be a remake of The Breakfast Club by a protege of McG. Yeah. Craptacular

Actually, Dangle McGee, the rumors preceded the skit (I think she is going to play a lesbian in a future project, and folks got to talking). Maybe the skit was SUPPOSED to be making fun of it, or was just a gay joke. Of course, being SNL, it failed horrendously.

Still, I don't mind thinking of Ellen Page as a lesbian. Or at least a little curious and eager to experiment.

Every pregnancy has been different for me. This time I can't stand chocolate or cheese. The first I couldn't touch meat. The second, it was fruit. But I always, always crave the cauliflower (which I hate when I'm not pregnant).

I thought the roman a clef for the X-men movies was that all the actors are gay. Certainly Gandalf, Picard, Allan Cumming, Famke are either out or glass closeted but the thumbelina Ellen Page trying to go butch/bull/diesel is hilarious. Amy Poehler could pick her up and break her across her knee.

Vermillion : I heard/read the lesbian rumors last week, so I figured that this was a more make fun situation. I guess that my point was that everyone jumped on it yesterday to declare that she was gay because of this, as you said, poorly executed sketch. It seems crazy to suggest that she is gay because of this sketch. It seems even more crazy that an actress can't possibly be anything less than a glamazon and still be hetero. And yes, it failed, even more awkwardly than their sketches usually fail.

Mmm, thanks for yummy linkage!

Also, who the shit is McG?

I like Titlepage and was looking forward to the debut episode. But when I watched it today I realized two things: they need to work on the camera shots (awkward, monotonous, I was overly aware of them) and authors don't always come off very well in interviews, do they? Every author except the one who wrote Beautiful Children looked alternately startled, constipated and angry every time the camera shot over to them. And even the author of Beautiful Children had a few moments when he looked thoroughly confused. I don't know how much Titlepage can actually DO about that second one, though. It's not like they can say "ok guys, thanks for being here, you award-winning writers, now try not to look too in need of Metamucil when we start, ok?"

I'll watch the second epi because I adore books and want to support this kind of thing, though.

Also, who the shit is McG?

He's the director of the two Charlie's Angels movies...he did music videos as well. I'm sure he directed other films, but I can't remember any of them. That's how talented he is.

i already said this on jayne's blog, but i have to say it again (especially since litely once long ago alluded to the fact that i may be older than God).
only food i could keep down was shashimi with the second one. no one told me not to drink, in fact, since i couldn't sleep at all, by third trimester, i was encouraged to, and was also given phenobarbital.
but the point i REALLY wanted to make, was, back in the 50's (and i luvs ya litely, and we know i wasn't sitting around gestating in those days), doctors ENCOURAGED THEIR P.G. PATIENTS TO SMOKE, in order to keep their weight gain down.
of course, wasn't that also the days of thalidomide, or was that the sixties?
and my first kid? french fries,chocolate milk, almost anything micky d's. and beer.

they both survived, so did i. mr. bunny survived the smoking, but he he has really bad asthma, but so does daughter bunny, and i'm allergic to tobacco. go figure?

One time, ok, see, one time Ellen Page's brother ate Pop Rocks and drank a soda at the same time and his head exploded. 'Kay, I have to go look at Javier Bardem now. Bye.

Please people, go to adultswim.com and check out all 'Dr. Steve Brule' clips from the Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job lot.

For your health.

Also, who the shit is McG?

He's the director of the two Charlie's Angels movies...he did music videos as well. I'm sure he directed other films, but I can't remember any of them. That's how talented he is.

He was also exec producer for The OC (and nowadays Chuck and Supernatural, but I don't know those shows enough). So, he's not all bad.

Except that since State & Main I don't hold an executive producer credit in high regard anymore...

Fuggit, the guy's crap for that stupid alias alone.

I'm glad that we'll be flooded with Gael Garcia Bernal pics, but where oh where is my beloved Diego Luna? A girl can only watch 'Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights' so many times.

Ha, yes on Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights!!

"It can be very scary to let someone touch you there"

But yeah, he's purty. I'd let him touch me there, no fear at all.
...And now, back to my regularly scheduled Bardem staring.

Oh, kelley. Thanks for making my week. :)

"i can't wait for those gael garcia bernal movies either. especially rudo y cursi with diego luna and blindness with mark ruffalo."

Hellz yeah.

...and Mimi, I feel you on the "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights". Uhh, it's not like I totally bought that movie just for Diego. No, I, uh, liked the Patrick Swayze cameo, too.

Hah- I'm just finishing my first trimester and have suffered with chronic nausea and some throwing up tossed in for good measure. My cravings have not been nearly as strong as my aversions. What's frustrating is that many of them change DAILY, which makes a weekly food shop impossible.

Cravings so far - a week of cheeseburgers (I haven't eaten cows for about 20 years and cried the whole time I ate them- I am convinced I should call the baby Elvis if it is a boy), taco salads, potatoes and tomatoes, baked beans, cheese, and I am eating lemons by the slice like oranges. Everyone grosses out at the last one.

Aversions- coffee is the biggest one, and I freaking LOVE coffee. That is a logistical nightmare, especially during morning commute on the train. And raw strong-smelling veggies like onions- I can't be in the same room as them. Oh god, thinking about it right now. Ugh. Sweet stuff like cookies, chocolate and cakes. Other people's hot food at lunch.

It's really most inconvenient. All of it. Now I'm off to make mashed potatoes.

is it bad that i like dirty dancing: havana nights more than the original? i know diego recently played michael jackson in a movie i can't remember the name of. oh, and he also has an american express commercial/ad out there somewhere.

As a PBS drone, I picked up on the "Max and Emme" connection right away. I can only hope that the Lil' Lo's have their own dragon scale so they can be spirited away to Dragonland.

J. Lo has apparently not watched our other catering-to-the-Latinos abomination, Maya & Miguel. It contains every Hispanic stereotype in the book. They speak Spanglish. They eat tacos. They love the futbol. Don't get me started on their pet parrot who has a Spanish accent.
When M&M is on, co-workers and I say, "Wow, do you think they are Hispanic? I'm not sure. Maybe if they wore sombreros, people would get it."

Way to jump on the Steve Brule bandwagon now, Pajiba. Pshaw.

I really enjoy when Steve gives Jan a haircut.

"It's gonna feel like you're walking on air..."