Pajiba

I'm not saying I would wish "death" on Avril Lavigne but, I wouldn't mind if she wasn't alive, anymore.

Is Tom Cruise wearing velvet and a satin tie?

Dayum! Despite his reputed interest in wrestling as foreplay, QL could take TinyTom in two falls. He desperately needs a cojones implant. Wonder if L.Ron keeps them locked in a crystal urn as did the Chinese Emperor with his eunuchs?

Oops! As for the velvet blazer and the satin tie, they are the most masculine aspects of him.

Run, Latifah! Run for your life, girl!

IF that's the Cloverfield monster, consider me instantly 'meh' about that movie. Lame.

I have never understood using the term 'cocksucker' as an insult. What man does not like to get a knobber, particularly by someone who is skilled at it? You enjoy the act but revile the performer? That is like giving the movie the Best Picture Award but telling the Director that he failed to do his job.

Is Avril pregnant? This is something I've heard recently, and I'm hoping that it isn't true.

Cloverfield would be infinitely more interesting if the monster WAS that plushie.

Hilarious video.

I was just saying the other day that you could put Michael Cera in a bush and I'd watch him act all day. And what do I get today? "Between Two Ferns". Brilliant. That kid is awesome (Zach is great too).

Rudy, I'm fairly certain that "cocksucker" is used because it preys on many mens inherent homophobia. It is one thing to be the suckee, another entirely to be called the sucker.

Um... odd question, but where does the goddamn apostrophe go in "mens" up above? Is there one? I'm fucking tortured here.

mens'

I think.

TK, I think you are correct on the source of the insult. The apostrophe goes before the 's' because 'men' is already plural. Dayum, I am becoming the dreaded grammar vulture. When did I turn into Sister Mary Margaret?

Which raises an interesting question, rudy. Since "men" and "women" are the plurals, why do we refer to the Mens Room and Womens room instead of Men Room and Woman Room, or even Man's Room and Woman's Room??? gar.

Nevermind, this is making no sense now.

Cloverfield monster toy has no tail. Since it seems very top heavy, with all the shoulderblade stuff, it would make more sense if it had a tail for balance, and extra wrecking capabilities as a bonus. It also has no boobs or penis. I'm guessing it doesn't reproduce? Or does it lay eggs, and then the male Loverfield monster squirts semen all over them? Is that why the rats are running away?

I'm still more inclined to believe the Cloverfield monster is the Pillsbury Doughboy ;-)

We refer to the "men's room" and the "women's room" because they are possessives (show ownership or dominion). The reason the apostrophe is not placed after the 's' is because the words are already plural. White and Strunk (they of the style manual [no cap's since that is a paraphrase and not the actual title]) chose to eliminate the confusion by decreeing that when one makes a possessive, one always uses the apostrophe first, then the 's' letter, form. Thus, the possessive form of a person named "James" would be "James's," which to my eyes looks perfectly ridiculous. This is the absolute rule they follow even to (my mind) the point of absurdity, i.e., when a word ends in a double 's' (e.g., "ass" ) they would still require the use of " 's". Hence, "The ass's tail has been docked." At that point, I would submit that Messrs. S&W have made asses of themselves.

What I used to recommend to my students (yes, my sordid career included teaching legal research, writing, and advocacy) is to restructure the sentence to avoid the possessive. E.g., Write "The volume of the mass is immense." rather than "The mass' (traditional rule; alt: "mass's" [S&W]) volume is immense." N.b., The grammar check feature in the Windows operating system marks the S&W form as "incorrect".

Am I the only one who is not even remotely interested in Cloverfield? I remember people were peeing in their pants when the trailer first came out, and I was decidedly meh. I could be pleasantly surprised (...when it comes out on DVD), but nothing in any of the trailers I've seen compel me to see this. Is it because of JJ? Help me out here.

Regarding Tom Cruise - I'm just glad he no longer tries to hide his Hobbit-like stature by surrounding himself with Tinker Bells.

Michael Cera and a discussion of grammar? OMG it's like I have finally come home.

Dear Pajiba,

I love you. You make my day with naughty links (also, allowing me to use the word naughty), grammar discussions, and Michael Cera. Who once asked me for my phone number.

I love him. Keep on rockin' the free world.

Love,
Me

Pajiba: once an innocent movie review site from a small Nebraska town, now the weirdest porn site around. And that is saying something.

Not only the "weirdest" but also the most eclectic and cultured.

Rudy, thanks. Believe it or not, I really appreciate the answer. My grammar is usually decent, but apostrophes have historically been my kryptonite.

Misplaced apostrophes are bad, but misplaced quotation marks are worse. There's a whole blog dedicated to unnecessary quotation marks, which I would link to if I knew how! Slash, if I could! I'm still not clear on the rules for commenting around here. So just Google it, and laugh heartily.

Excuse me, how did the Quizlaw post about the Tennessee bill not make it in here? Guns, booze, and a politician behaving badly don't qualify as lovable?

Summer Glau sounds like the most refreshing beer ever.

I make a point to read through the comments on Pajiba Love posts before visiting any of the links or, indeed, watching the video. It can make for some fairly amusing (and mind-boggling) reading.

Aaah good times.

I do enjoy how rudy has appointed himself guardian of Pajiban grammar.

Quick question: when a noun to be made posessive ends in "s" or even "ss" do we then not place an apostrophe after the final letter of said noun and drop the posessive "s" completely? eg. James' book? Is that utterly and heinously wrong? I remember being taught to do that way back in the hazy days of my schooling but it's always struck me as a little odd.

I tend to just rewrite sentences so I don't have to think about it.

On a side/somewhat related note: the ex Mr TheOdd once lived with a girl, studying English at a good University, who completely failed to grasp even the basics of apostrophe use. It made my sould ache for humanity.

I remember being taught, in Catholic School no less, to always use an 's after words that end in s, like James. I followed that rule religiously, heh, until I entered the real world and saw that no one else was doing it. I'm actually a little glad that I was correct the whole time. Damn those nuns and their mighty rulers - at least the abuse was effective.

I always thought "cocksucker" preyed on men's inherent misogyny. Notice how the term "bitch" is especially insulting when applied to a man? Nobody gets any extra mileage in calling a woman "dickhead" or even "cocksucker," for that matter.

"Quick question: when a noun to be made posessive ends in "s" or even "ss" do we then not place an apostrophe after the final letter of said noun and drop the posessive "s" completely? eg. James' book? Is that utterly and heinously wrong? "

Alex,
well, that's how I do it, and it looks correct to me. And - nit-picking Virgo that I am - grammatical errors and apostrophe misuse usually leap off the page at me as though highlighted in yellow.... ;-)

I suspect Kolby's teacher was right, and 'James's book' is strictly correct. But it may have been abbreviated for ease of use, in the same way 'can't' has mostly replaced 'can not'. Both are correct, but one is much more likely to be used than the other.

Well, AM, being a male, I'm going to have to disagree. I agree that "bitch" perhaps has some misogynistic hints to it, though I think misogyny is too strong a word... it's used to connote weakness, as in "you're weak, like a woman", not "I hate you, like I hate women". But I'm probably splitting hairs there.

Anyway, with regards to "cocksucker", I think it's definitely more linked to homophobia. Because the only thing guys hate more than being accused of being weak or feminine, is being accused of being gay, and that's why cocksucker is such a strong insult.

I'm an English teacher, and my understanding is that you DO use an 's at the end of any singular possessive word, no matter what. The plain ' is only for plural possesive words:

The bus's seats.

The buses' seats.

Whether you spell the plural of bus with one "s" or two is apparently stylistic.

What really clouds the issue is that many people think the 's construction denotes plurality, which it does only in the case of single letters (She got four A's on her test). So there!

Now that I think about it... the plain ' is only for plural words that actually end in s. The 's still applies to plural possessives that don't end in s. Hence, women's, men's, children's, etc.

Categorically thinking women are weak? Counts as misogyny, in my book.

You bitches are all my favorite cocksuckers.

The Cloverfield monster looks like The Creature from the Black Lagoon fucked a terrapin. Then New Wave Godzilla sued for custody.

Avril Lavigne can't be pregnant. Her husband is Improperly Spelled Derek of Sum-41. And according to all the packaging I've read, spraying douche in an asshole doesn't lead to pregnancy. It's called an enema, and leads to an AWFUL mess if not properly handled.

Pajib[i]ans tussling over grammar and sexual insults--oh how the heart does sing! Now Kolby, you must have been taught by the post-70's secularized nuns. (They who send Christmas cards emblazoned with chipmunks and reindeer.) No Sister in good standing (i.e., worth her whimple) even post Vatican II, would ever recommend a default rule applicable in all circumstances.

Why the very purpose of the rules of grammar, like rules of etiquette, is to trip up the unwary. (Comparable to using the fish fork for the salad course.) While not a mortal sin, poor grammar (along with poor penmanship) is at least a venial sin, and not one of omission but rather one of comission. And, we all know the inverse to be true, that is, good grammar is a cardinal virtue.

Please refer to Mother Rudy's (of the Beach Sisters of Acapulco, therefore, "Mother Rudy B.S.A.") dissection of those wastrels Strunk and White, supra. (We will continue to pray for their conversion as we do for the pagan babies.) The traditional rule--that we are fighting to maintain against the forces of logic and consistency--is that to make a possessive of any word that ends in the letter 's' simply append an apostrophe. Otherwise, using the apostrophe 's' form offends the eyes, e.g., "James's" and "ass's," see id., supra.

On a tangential note, another indicator of moral rectitude is to pronounce the 't' (as a "hard 't'") when ordering the Champagne Perrier-Jouet. N.b., the name is misspelled because the umlaut ("lleresis" in Spanish) is omitted over the penultimate letter, viz., the 'e' preceding the 't'. This is key because the presence of the umlaut indicates that the 't' is to be pronounced. Nothing thrills Mother Rudy more than being "corrected" by bartenders when ordering the favored beverage.

Now, take this to heart or I shall be forced to impose a penance of at least a couple of laps around "the beads".

Rudy, you pompous, over-educated fuck, I love you.

Prisco, a good scrubbing will fix that.

"You bitches are all my favorite cocksuckers."

Awww, I'm blushing. We like you too!

I hear you with the pedantic drink pronounciations Rudy, I have the same with Moet. It isn't french. The "t" is not silent.

Avril Lavigne can't be pregnant. Her husband is Improperly Spelled Derek of Sum-41. And according to all the packaging I've read, spraying douche in an asshole doesn't lead to pregnancy. It's called an enema, and leads to an AWFUL mess if not properly handled.

Aw, man!! Now I have to clean the Diet Coke off my monitor...