44896861.jpg
First Wives Club


Paheeba Blockbusters / Lizzie Borden

Paheeba Day | November 18, 2009 | Comments (19)


I rewatched The First Wives Club to write this review the other night with a little bit of trepidation. I remembered it fondly, but had only seen it once, way back when it was released in 1996. I was prepared for it to be pretty terrible; a schmaltzy, sappy festival of triteness and clichéd “women’s” stories. But yanno, it really isn’t. It’s sentimental without being schmaltzy, and it’s feel-good without being sappy. I was pleasantly relieved as I finished the film.

The film starts out with a brief flashback to establish the friendship of four women graduating college in the 60s. They’re bright-eyed and eager to go out and—what? Change the world? Maybe not so much, as they all end up married (by which I do not mean to imply that married women can’t change the world). Even in the 60s, despite the strides that had been made, most women still went on to settle down into marriage and home life, supporting their men and raising families. Correct me if I’m wrong, please. On the other hand, it is the women of this generation and the next who really began the whole feminist movement. So yay for that, right?

(Do I need to warn you that there are going to be spoilers? You’ve had 13 years to see this movie. If you haven’t yet, do you really care?)

That brings us forward to the present day, with Stockard Channing (whom I adore. I mean, this is Abby Bartlett we’re talking about here), who is clearly at the end of her tether and a complete wreck. She is the grown version of Cynthia, and she’s about to commit suicide.

This event is the catalyst for the rest of the plot: Annie, Brenda and Elise meet again for the first time in Godtopussy knows how long at Cynthia’s funeral. All of them, as it turns out, have recently been dumped by their husbands. Annie (Diane Keaton), the doormat, insists that things are going to work out, mostly because … well, she’s a doormat, and she has deluded herself into thinking that her husband is the entirety of her life. She’s one of those women — no self-esteem, no real identity. Even her daughter thinks her own father is scum and doesn’t deserve her mother. Elise (Goldie Hawn) is an aging movie star, and the film points out what happens to most women of middle age in Hollywood: They disappear. She’s desperate to stay young to the point of obsession. (Thankfully, Maggie Smith is in the film to play New York Society and prove that this isn’t always entirely true. Also, there’s the existence of this film in general: all three of the leads are women who are generally overlooked by Hollywood, and all three of them remain ridiculously famous.) And Brenda (Bette Midler) is The Mom. She’s had her whole life wrapped up in supporting her husband’s goals and raising his child, to the point where she let herself go entirely. And then her husband dumped her for a younger model (uh, Sarah Jessica Parker, whom I really can’t hate. Sorry guys).

In fact, all of the husbands in this film have dumped their wives for younger models. Annie’s husband is sleeping with their therapist (I’ll not even go into the ethics of that), Elise’s husband is sleeping with an ingénue actress (shocker!), and Brenda’s is sleeping with his ex-secretary (klassy, hat is). So they get together and decide to enact revenge/justice on their husbands. They form the First Wives Club. They enlist the help of Maggie Smith’s character (who’s been a first, and a second, and a third wife…), as well as a number of other wacky folks. Dirt isn’t hard to dig up on Brenda’s husband; it turns out he got his start selling electronics that fell off the back of trucks, according to Brenda’s Uncle Carmine (uh, do I need to explain that means the stuff was stolen?). So they concoct a scheme to get a hold of Morty’s books.

Elise’s husband is insisting during divorce proceedings that all of their joint property be sold and the proceeds be split evenly (he also wants alimony, since she’s the famous one). When Annie finds out that her husbands business partners want out of their ad agency, Elise sells her all of said joint property and Annie auctions it all off—most of it to Morty’s dumb blonde girlfriend, who is redecorating their penthouse with the help of Brenda’s friend the terrible interior decorator — it’s schemes within schemes in this film, I swear.

So Annie buys two thirds of her husband’s ad agency. When he threatens to walk, she shrugs, as she’s just landed a 45 million dollar account—that would be Morty’s, as Brenda has blackmailed him into handing over the control of his company. It’s either that, or he goes to prison. A little tweaking of a yearbook, and Elise has her own husband under her thumb for threatened charges of statutory rape.

Honestly, I would kinda love it if this movie ended with the revenge. But the three women are actually not all evil harpies. Yeah, they want to get back at their husbands, and yeah, they do end up taking control of these companies, and with it their own lives, but they realize that they want more than that as well. So they decide to use their powers for good as well, and start a shelter in honor of Cynthia.

Does the film have problems? Sure it does. But they’re not so huge as to distract from the fun of it. It’s really just a fun movie about three women who learn that life doesn’t end when you hit middle age, as long as you don’t let it. While I don’t feel like it’s a “message movie,” it celebrates women and the friendships we forge with each other. And that’s something I, for one, can get behind.

Lizzie Borden has an extensive axe collection, and lives in Baltimore. She wants a purple pony (with wings, please) and a two-headed axe for Christmas. She also wishes she had more Pajiba-time these days, and is quite proud to be a part of Paheeba Day this year.

This post is part of Paheeba Day 2009. An explanation of Paheeba Day can be found in the Pajiba Dictionary.


The Best Chick Flicks of All Time | Twilight Real-Time Review



Comments

Elizabeth Berkley is soooo good in this.

Posted by: Sofía at November 18, 2009 4:08 PM

Great job, Lizzie!

Posted by: Kolby at November 18, 2009 4:12 PM

hee, Sofi, when she popped up, I immediately thought of Showgirls and thought, Girl, you are so much better here.

Posted by: lizzieborden at November 18, 2009 4:17 PM

My sister would have babies with every minute of this movie.

Posted by: Julie at November 18, 2009 4:17 PM

Embrace the cheese, lizzie! I'm glad I thought of you when I watched this last week.

Posted by: feramones at November 18, 2009 4:18 PM

How have I never seen this? All I can remember is seeing the commercial with Goldie's lips and thinking she was hilarious to do it and be all, yeah? So? It HAPPENS. haha!

Posted by: replica at November 18, 2009 4:25 PM

One of my all time favourite films with a cast of my favourite actors. I love this film for so many reasons not least because in this film Goldie Hawn is my mother personified.
I remember wanting to learn the dance with two of my friends to perform in our schools pop idol when I was 12. I, of course, would have been Goldie or Bette, but we weren't allowed because it wasnt well known. I felt so shocked that people in my school didn't know the song 'You Don't Own Me' or the dance the fab three did to it. I was gutted that I couldn't dig out my mums old white pant suit. I still haven't got over it.

Posted by: Nieve at November 18, 2009 4:43 PM

Oh HELL yes. Love it.

Posted by: Ashlie at November 18, 2009 4:46 PM

Nieve I'm totally with you on that one! Bette can do no wrong in my eyes

Posted by: Draya at November 18, 2009 5:05 PM

Draya how about it me and you? I'll be Goldie you be Bette and.....we'll find a Diane, the three of us can hit the stage and bring 'You Don't Own Me' to life once more!

Posted by: Nieve at November 18, 2009 5:11 PM

Man, how time flies! Can this movie be that old? It still holds up as a funny film, but not a mindless one. This movie has a bit of an edge, as these women realise just how far removed they have become from not only each other, but their young, idealistic selves-the bitterness when they face this has a very real feeling. Happily, "sisterhood" wins in the end, and that's a nice message for all of us.

Posted by: lil_a at November 18, 2009 5:38 PM

Nieve I TOTALLY performed that dance with two of my friends for our school's lip sync competition in 5th grade. And we won precisely because it wasn't well known (except by the older judges). We beat the popular kids doing a crazy good dance routine to "C'mon Ride the Train," so it had to be because of the song selection and not our limited talents. (Think the conclusion of The Brady Bunch Movie.)

This movie still owns.

Posted by: foursweatervests at November 18, 2009 5:46 PM

Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnd we just found our Diane. Hello foursweatervests welcome to the team. Also IM SO EFFING JEALOUS! Did you have costumes? Who did you play? Do you have pictures?
Not getting to perform that routine ruined the whole school experience for me. That pain was later compounded when, four years later, I was kicked out of the All Saint tribute band, THAT I GODDAMN STARTED, in another school pop idol. I dont even like all saints they were just well known. Ah well I suppose some talents are just too awesome for one stage.

Posted by: Nieve at November 18, 2009 6:03 PM

Because of how much I love this movie, I went to see the musical version that just premiered in San Diego. It sucked! And they were hoping to go to Broadway. I'm so glad I live in San Diego, because if I had flown to see this I would have been pissed. The only thing that got me through it was listening to all the senior citizens around me discussing the scenery and costumes. I'm still upset that I will never have those 2 hours back. At least this movie was good.

Posted by: James at November 18, 2009 7:11 PM

Has anyone read the book? I love the movie, and the book is very, very dark and not at all lighthearted. I liked it, but it was kind of disturbing and realistic.

Posted by: figgy at November 18, 2009 8:10 PM

Cheesetastic.

Great write-up Lizzie.

Posted by: Cindy at November 18, 2009 8:12 PM

Pizza!

Posted by: ceejeemcbeegee at November 18, 2009 8:49 PM

Awesome review, LizzieBear! Gosh, it's been ages since I saw this movie. I'ma need to remedy that. I do love the Divine Miss M.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 18, 2009 10:18 PM

There isn't anything about this movie that I don't love. I mean, if just for the luncheon scene where Maggie Smith nods for the waiter to take Sarah Jessica's utensil: "The fork. Take the fork."

Cracks me up every time.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at November 19, 2009 11:54 AM





Post a comment

 (required)

 (required)


Preview of your comment: