Pajiba

Indy deserved the number 1 spot for the weekend. I saw it the day it opened. (Not to start more of the same shit from the actual review) But...it was a little underwhelming. It's almost as if they'd tried TOO hard to make it some fantastic adventure. For those who haven't seen it I won't ruin where the skull comes from, but a much better story could have probably ben gleened with the plot JUST leading to the search for El Dorado. But Spielberg had to make another Spielberg movie (he's been making them a lot lately) where he rushes into the ending and force-feeds it to you. If you think about the last 3 Indy movies, the endings wrapped everything up, but they did so through dialogue and exposition. Here...we were treated to a pretty lousy2 minute effects sequence. And don't get me started on how they missed a HUGE opportunity at making Kate Blanchett a MUCH more sinister villain. Instead...she comes off as a cheap cartoon villain. While all Indy villain's, yes, have been cartoonish in their own ways, they made her over the fucking top. I was just waiting for her to try and smash someone with a giant Acme Anvil. Overall though, I did enjoy the movie, but I would have been fine waiting for DVD. What bothered me most was the obvious difference in cinematography between the effects shots and any other shot within the movie. made it hard to suspend disbelief.

And i have no idea what it means...but YEAH! Eat a spiked dildo Bernie. (i guess)

I really love the URL for this Round-Up. You just made my day ^_^

*hugs everyone*

Good mornin', y'all. I was away for the weekend, so I guess I missed most of the heated debate, but I will say that I didn't need to read the review to know that I'd be disappointed in the new Indiana Jones movie. The whole idea was a giant turn off for me. I'll be waiting for the DVD.

And I'm sitting here at my desk this morning with wet hair. I left my friggin' hair dryer in Cooperstown. Fabulous.

I haven't seen Indiana Jones: The Golden Years and I don't think I will until it comes out on DVD. I ain't here to argue at this ungodly hour but, it all just seems so unnecessary. The movie, not the arguments.

I've had the thought since the very first time I saw the trailer for Speed Racer, months ago: If this thing does not tank, if it winds up being popular, if this movie does anything but hit the pavement with a dull thwap and lie there like a dead fish, then there is no God.

I am workin' the beads today in deep gratitude.

hairdriers are over-rated Kolby, a 75 degree breeze on the way into work is nature's hair-dryer

and hair elastics are my solution to the poofiness that results...

the only movie in the round-up that interests me I have already seen twice
I will probably see Indiana Jones once it comes out on DVD, cause it is still an Indiana Jones film, and I am kinda his bitch.
Just not $10.25 a ticket his bitch

The moral of the story is that the English language needs a third person gender neutral pronoun for all this brain-checking.

I don't see anything challenging it for this blockbuster season's best movie and highest grosser

It's after Dark Knight, but I'm betting Wall-E is going to be Pixar's highest grossing - even more than Nemo.

That robot is fucking adorable.

oh god Wall-E, I watched that trailer roughly 20 times, I couldn't stop...

and I am 25

I called my mom and made her watch it.
She made fun of me.
A lot.

I was so disappointed when the release date got pushed back

I called my mom and made her watch it.
She made fun of me.
A lot.

My mom yelled at me because she knew she would be watching it for at least three days.

..that Tudors ad is turning me on more than it has the right to. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers kind of scares me.

And y'know what, I haven't seen -any- of the movies on this list. It sucks to be poor. (And yet, I will be in the IMAX line, opening night of the Dark Knight.)

And y'know what, I haven't seen -any- of the movies on this list. It sucks to be poor.

go see Iron Man anyways! coming from a fellow poor person, it is worth not eating for a day, trust me. I saw it twice. My back account did not thank me. but my faith in American cinema did

it is impossible to resist the adorableness that is Wall-E jM, just plain impossible

I hadn't seen RDJ as a Pip. Good show. Gladys Knight is a good sport to put up with such silliness. But it still won't induce me to watch AI regularly.

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers kind of scares me.

For out of five doctors say his eyes will eat your soul. The fifth didn't make it.

*Four

I'm so disappointed in Indiana Jones and Ow, My Hip that I can barely restrain myself from screaming epithets at the imaginary George Lucas in my living room. But my parents are visiting and I don't want them to think realize that I'm crazy.

Damn you, imaginary George Lucas.

Damn you.

So, Speed Racer's tanking? GOOD. Makes me happy on a Tuesday. I started laughing and my coworkers wanted to know what was so funny.

I told them I was crafting a Disney script based on Henrik Ibsen's Ghosts, with Donald Duck as the syphilitically insane son Osvald.

That scared them away for a while (my coworkers are a bunch of weak sisters sometimes, no sense of humor).

No TK, don't be angry! You must understand that Lucasberg gave up their dignity to give us the phrase 'Nuke the Fridge'. Focus on the good TK, focus on the good.

It will get easier in time.

Reasons I love Pajiba #492: Commenters who cite Ibsen.

I love you guys.

I'll pitch in $50 for the Bound sequel. We need more pseudo lesbian bondage flicks with great acting and inflatable lips.

Don't feel too bad Mara. I missed the group outing to 'Indiana Jones and the Assisted Living Facility' because I got dragged on a girly shopping trip that raged out of control. Now I'm too broke to see it as well.

I just read part of the Indy thread and had to leave, I'm so not in the mood for petty arguments. Or maybe I'm just mad because, for the first time in 3 days, I'm not drunk. I miss you Memorial Day weekend.

We need more pseudo lesbian bondage flicks with great acting and inflatable lips.

And how have I never seen this? Huh. :adds to queue:

Saw Indy yesterday. What a disappointment, even with lowered expectations. Damn Stephanie Zacharek at Salon got me thinking it might not be so bad, not to mention the 79% Tomatometer (79%!). Bwuh. It's just so ... shallow. It's one thing to be formulaic, but here it's like they took a list of Indy-esque set pieces, a few famous supporting players, and some CGI effects, then shook it all up in a bag, vomited into that bag, then slung it out for viewing.

It plays like a bad cartoon -- there's no character development, no heart, nothing like Indy's relationship with Salla. Cate Blanchett was wasted as a caricature of Natasha from Rocky & Bullwinkle, while Karen Allen was wasted in a role that made no sense -- props to Dan for nailing it: [*SPOILERS*] Why would Indy and Marian fall in love within 10 seconds of seeing each other when they could have been together any time over the prior 19 years? Urm, because the script says so, I guess. Why write something so trite as to have Indy be the father of Marian's son? Why have Indy and Marian get married at the end? Because those are the cynically sentimental marks that will make undemanding viewers feel closure.

What a shameful, sad ending, and what a puzzling rollover by the critics to say it was any good. It was not. But I heard people coming out of the theater saying the same things critics must have used to talk themselves into a positive review: "Well, the whole series is based on fantastical events and supernatural legends; I have so much invested in the first three that it's hard not to love this one." There's a big difference between suspension of disbelief for a highly improbable but well-constructed tale versus a brainless rendering of sequences that just make no fucking sense.

The checking the brain at the door thing doesn't make a lick of sense anyway. Was everyone required to shed a few IQ points for Raiders or The Mummy? The latter isn't nearly is good as the former, but it's still pretty good because it's still pretty smart. There's a drop-off in quality between some films, just like any other genre, and part of that drop-off is how smart the film is. Here, with all the talent available, to have it not be smart is a lazy, shameful waste and a betrayal of the legacy. This was a deeply dumb film.

And yes, the polyurethane skull with Christmas tree icicles jammed in it looked fake and idiotic.

Well Dustin....I knew the day would come when we finally had to disagree about something. Now that day rears it's head like a pus-infected, meth sore on Amy Winehouse's arm. First, the good part....as a critic, you have the obligation to tell your audience what you actually feel about a movie....good, bad, otherwise. Second....unfortunately, you missed the boat on Indy IV. And by "missed the boat", I mean that son of a bitch was 30 miles down the Amazon River before your typhoid-laden vision finally keyed in on the situation. Indy IV is exactly what it is supposed to be....yes, minor flaws exist but they did in Temple and Crusade, as well. Even Shia did a damn good job. I would say, relative to Star Wars Episode 1 Phantom Menace aka Jar Jar Binks Blows Me On the Corner for 25 Cents" that this is a frickin' masterpiece. It's Gone with the Frickin Wind of Citizen Frickin Cane (which, incidentally, sucks harder than Phantom Menance but sounds great in refer to situations). So, in closing. I am sorry to disagree. I think maybe that was simply a bad day for you and I will send you a ticket to see it again so you can form the correct opinion that is OBVIOUSLY mine. http://www.myspace.com/patricktheangryangryviewer

Patrick, you can like a bad film, but just because you like it doesn't make it good.

*hugs*

^_^

GODDAMMIT I LIKE THE FRIDGE GAG!!

FUCK!

Obviously a whole lot of people haven't seen "Speed Racer". That alone doesn't mean it's no good.

I'm certainly not going to shout to the writers here, or anywhere, "who are YOU to judge?", otherwise who am I to comment on them? There is a critic who's not Harry Knowles that shares my sensibilities enough that I'll trust their approval if I'm having doubts about going. I tried that here once and it didn't work out, so I just enjoy the writing and conversation and decide about viewing based on other factors.

I didn't see Indy 4, and have no comment regarding the argument pitched over it. I might see it one day, but I'm certainly in no hurry.

Movies that could beat Iron Man: Hancock. I know, but it's Will Smith on July 4th weekend playing a sarcastic and reluctant hero. Our country eats that kind of crap up. Also, it has Jason Bateman. I'm not saying that it definitely will, but it's got a shot, at least as much as Dark Knight does.

I'm on the Wall-E train too.

jM: Thank you for giving me my mid-morning pants peeing. Truly you have made my day. Thanks! Also, new word of the day: Terrorotic: That which is equal parts sexy and scary.

Also, socalled, Cate Blanchett's character (from the previews I've seen) IS Girl Hitler. Watch the Venture Brothers episode "Home Insecurity" to see what I mean. You really only need the first 5 minutes, but watch the whole thing anyway, because that show is made of awesome.

June 1st!

G(aR), what is this "Venture Brothers" you speak of?

Indy and the Head filled with tin foil was, at best, ok. I had hoped for so much more. Instead, I got Even Stevens trying to be Dennis Hopper, Harrison Ford still looking pretty good, but sleep-walking thru the whole movie, Karen Allen (I'll tell them you're too well to attend!) doing.....nothing, and Cate....oh, Cate.....why did you become Natasha from Bullwinkle and Rocky? Sad........

Wall-E confuses me.....so Number 5 IS still alive?

I think I'll just watch RDJ pip the rest of the day......

Terrorotic: That which is equal parts sexy and scary.

HAHAHAHA. We need a Pajiba dictionary stat!

Socalledonlycousins:

The best damn cartoon that you'll ever watch.

New season starts soon!

Jay, I liked the refrigerator gag just fine until they took it too far. There were several other pieces in the film that worked fine and were enjoyable: the opening scene in the warehouse, the sword fight on the moving trucks, how they got Indy out of the sand pit.

But the refrigerator bit points up the overall problem with the film: too much, too fast, too empty. In Raiders, Indy would have flown a couple dozen feet and landed with a thud, then stumbled around getting over it -- he was a bit of a superman, but he was human. By my lights, the fridge here looked like it flew a mile, then bounced another couple hundred feet, after which Indy gets out and just walks away. The difference between a one in a thousand chance of surviving (Indy surviving the bar fight in Raiders, Indy surviving the falling bridge in Temple, Indy surviving the horse-vs.-tank battle in Crusade) and "no human could live through that" is what brings me to the surface during the movie, interrupting my immersion in the experience. It happened a lot yesterday, and it's caused by the bigger-better-faster thrills prescription that late era Speilberg and Lucas think will cover a bad script.

I bet Indy got shot at more in Skull, and from closer range, than in all the other films put together, and didn't even get grazed. Of course Indy is supposed to evade gunfire, but 20 Russian commandos firing machine guns from 10 feet while he tiptoes across the ceiling struts?

Also, did anyone else notice how much higher the body count was in this one vis a vis the others? There was a lot o' killin'.

socalled, I think pkittie put it very succinctly, but here goes:

Venture Brothers is the alternate dimension version of Johnny Quest with accompanying alternate dimension versions of typical Quest-ian missions and villains. The plot work and continuity is the best I've EVER seen in a cartoon (especially one with year long breaks between seasons) and it's hilariously absurd. I can not explain all the ways the show is awesome without completely hi-jacking the thread.

I've had a rough weekend, I'm looking forward to this sunday's season three premiere like you would not believe.

G(aR) and pkittie, do you know whether I can successfully jump right into the season premiere without having seen prior episodes?

Dammitjanet, I thought the same thing about Wall-E when I saw the preview yesterday. My girlfriend leaned over and said, in her best Johnny 5 voice "No disassemble, Stephanie!!!"

That made my damn day.

Anyway, as a pre-birthday outing, we went and saw Prince Caspian. I liked it well enough. It would have been easier if we weren't forced to sit in the front row and crane our necks like fuckwits. Some of the dialogue was a little . . . something. Too modern? It seemed out of place and threw me off. But since I love the books more than anything, I'm happy to see a screen version of it just to see some of my fav characters fleshed out.

Speaking of fleshed out, the guy that plays Peter is disturbingly hot. I'm so glad he's about 20 now so I can feel a little less skeevy about that.

do you know whether I can successfully jump right into the season premiere without having seen prior episodes?

You probably could, but it'd be best to have the background. I know Netflix has the dvd's (you could watch the whole series pretty quickly: not many episodes and they're short) and they're around in other internet ways too.

I could go on and on, so instead I'll just say it's really damn funny.

As for Indy, no, there's nothing wrong in your argument, I'm mainly just grousing about people doing that thing in this kind of situation that I was grousing about earlier.

Still, the summer piss and vinegar has not yet begun to flow. Look at what's coming. Yikes.

Actually, the Wachowskis are already filming their next movie. Its called Ninja Assassin (no joke) and stars Korean pop singer Rain, who had a small part in Speed Racer.

Some are saying it's a rip-off of the anime Ninja Scroll based on whats been revealed of the film and cast of characters so far. I wouldn't be surprised; the Matrix was prety much a direct rip-off of the Invisibles.

Actually, they are only producing Ninja Assassin. James McTeigue (V for Vendetta) is directing.

PS

Both David Bowie and Duffy Moon are referenced by VB. "Ah! Why did I wait so long? You are my people!!"

socalled, I'm gonna agree with Jay. You could probably jump into the premiere of season 3 this week with no background, but after seeing that first episode you'll probably be adding both seasons 1 and 2 to your netflix or skimming Amazon for them. It's funnier if you have the backstory, but things like "no one cares about who would win a crazy fantasy fist fight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden" and villains called things like "Phantom Limb" are funny all on their own.

Bah. Speed Racer is brilliantly bizarre. I saw it twice opening weekend, but apparently I'm the only one. In about ten years, a bunch of fanboys are going to catch it on late night cable and be sorry they missed it on the big screen.

I thought the Wachowskis were working on some ninja thing starring Rain.

Obviously a whole lot of people haven't seen "Speed Racer". That alone doesn't mean it's no good.

I saw it. It's no good.

(Visually impressive but the source material was crap and they did what they could. When you're working with fringe material you don't make Speed Racer you make Sky Captain and the World of Tomrrow and at least try to earn back your cost.

it'd be best to have the background
It's funnier if you have the backstory

Done and done. Maybe I can get through both seasons by Sunday even.

I will second and third and nth the Venture Brothers love. That show is out of control/brilliant/what-have-you. Enjoy it, nothing like the first time.

On that note, if I may suggest a comment diversion: if you could watch a movie, watch a season of a TV show, and listen to an album for the first time again, what would they be?

I enjoyed Prince Caspian for the most part, despite the ton of things wrong with it: faulty editing, inconsistent acting/dialogue (especially Ben "Inigo Montoya" Barnes), and a bunch of other stuff I can't remember. I loved Reepicheep though.

Was anyone else seething about the song at the very end as they leave Narnia and go back to London? GOD that royally pissed me off; this is not a fucking TV montage, this is supposed to be some fairy-tale epic shit, so why in fucktard's name is their a pop song with LYRICS playing during actual movie scenes and not the credits? Ugggh. I listened to it later on by itself, and it actually wasn't half-bad, but god that was awkward in the theater.

Wall-E is going to dominate some ass with a robotic whip and mechanized handcuffs. Without a word.

Is June going to suck? Besides Wall-E and very maybe Hulk (if I hold my nose), it's a long time until July.

so why in fucktard's name is there a pop song with LYRICS

Aye. See: "Stardust". "Hey, way to anachronize, fellas!"

Hope you enjoy, Ted!

Eh, I've seen Stardust twice but not in a long while; what part was that?

First of all, big ups to the Venture Bros. I still love the episode where Brock Sampson has to renew his CIA assassin credentials. Or the Dr. Venture garage sale one. Quality stuff.

I did catch Speed Racer and I think I said here that it was a great kids/family movie. And it is. It has a wonderful heart and a positive message. But it's just that the screen is loaded to the gills and that turns folks off.

As for Indy...heh. I said all I was going to say over the weekend. I did catch it a second time and still got the same reaction. It still feels lazy and unorganized and way too reliant on CGI. And it plays too much like a Greatest Hits compilation. (See "the ark". Gaze upon "Sean Connery." Listen to the fanfare -- AGAIN!) But I can't begrudge those who want that and like that. Like a Stones concert, you're hoping they'll give you that old feeling one last time when "Street Fighting Man" comes on.

BTW, Iron Man still remains the best movie of the summer. I'm hopeful that Dark Knight and Wall-E can give it a run for its money, with maybe Hellboy 2 as a dark horse.

I've seen Stardust twice but not in a long while; what part was that?

Oh, there's a cheesy song over the credits, though I think it at least waited for the fade out. The "Caspian" song played over the closing scene itself and was that much more jarring for it.

I did enjoy "Stardust" more, but then it was both cute and smartass and I can go for that.

Pity only the bit of Tilda. She's nuts but I do like her, and the White Queen look isn't bad either (and Michelle Pfeiffer was a worthy competitor in the same part).

I'm sure I plugged these once before, but for anyone who's missed it:

The Venture Christmas Carols
http://www.quickstopentertainment.com/2007/12/23/holiday-havoc-the-venture-bros/

i fourth the venture bros love. smart, funny and twisted show i've seen in a long time

and it's probably best not to go into how oddly attracted i am to dr. girlfriend

First for Speed Racer, I grew up on the cartoon as a kid and those are fond memories. As for the movie, too long, too much CGI, but it was casted really well. Was the movie good, not really, but it was close to even with Indy IV.

The only thing I liked about Indy IV was the fridge gag and the fact that it was accurate for the time period. In the end it just seemed like cutting room floor material spliced together for $$$.

Look out for Kung Fu Panda too, but I think Dark Knight will get the Man; especially in Chicagoland where they blew up an icon during the shooting of the movie.

Boy....Kung Fu Panda.....

I saw the IMAX trailer before "Speed Racer" and was thinking "Holy shit! This is amazing animation! The styles as done by their animals! This looks really cool!!!

Oh.

This is not that movie".

Might as well play "Walking On Sunshine" while you're at it.

I still want the movie of the first 30 seconds of that trailer though. That shit was boss.

You know, Dusty says that but five will get you ten that if Harry put down the ham sammich and picked up the officially licensed Juno hamburger phone, Dustin would be on the first flight to Austin.

I was going to defend Speed Racer, but you already did. I was going to make a Girl Hitler joke, but you already did. I was even thinking about fawning over Wall-E, but Pajiba beat me to it. I love this place.

"Also, did anyone else notice how much higher the body count was in this one vis a vis the others? There was a lot o' killin'."

socalled, I noticed this too.
How the entire tribe of indigenous people at Akator got wiped out was particularly unsettling.

*SPOILER ALERT*

WHAT ABOUT THE MOTHER F'IN ALIENS??!?! people seem to completely ignore this tiny detail about the movie. Was I in the wrong theater or something????? the movie was great up until the last 20 minutes when the aliens came in and totally negated the point of the movie. WTF, Spielberg. That was the worst ending ever!