Pajiba

...the beat of a retarded metronome,...

Effing brilliant.

ooooo...i haven't seen this one, but i liked the original. it wasn't earth shatteringly good, but it was a good story and a nice quiet romance. too bad this remake sounds like it sucks.

Ok, I'll be avoiding this movie for sure (even though Aaron Eckhart is rather nice to look at...) BUT, I'm almost positive that "cinematic manikin" should be "cinematic mannequin".

I know, damn French. It's because of them that I could barely spell my own name till I was 8.

I appreciate the note, Genny. But, actually, "manikin" is how it is spelled when referring to a CPR dummy. -- DR

Wasn't this done a few years ago with "Raising Helen"? Also with Abigail Breslin.

But then again, it was done a few times before THAT, I'm sure.

Hollywood is definitely out of ideas.

Well, count me in with the missus. Hate for "Moonstruck" boggles me.

HOWEVER

I saw an ad for this at the Regal/Fandango site a week or two ago and immediately contacted two people, highly alarmed, saying that I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Literally, I could not believe this movie was existing. I do get laughs and pain in equal measure whenever reshelving the romance fiction, but to have a movie recreate the synopsis on the back of a mass market paperback? Stunning.

The only way it could go further was if Eckhart was a man she long ago vowed never to let back in until he was revealed to actually be, not a sous chef, but an undercover fed charged with safeguarding her. Her life was in danger, but so was her HEART.

Now where's my aloof Rocky Mountains widowed sheriff whose precocious kid needs a mother, in the form of the down on her luck sophisticate who had to flee her life of.....?

Alright, alright, you can have your marriage of convenience to the dangerously sexy wealthy boss first. Because it was all an act. OR WAS IT?

Um. You should probably see the original. Mostly Martha. (Which was awesome.)

I would make a comment about this film, but every time I think about it, very bad images of Eckhart - Zeta-Jones - Vermillion sandwiches (and not the edible kind) come to mind.

And that, kids, is what we call too much information.

Chad Pennington's spirals described as flaccid! Come on Dustin, his throws are quite taut for at least 5-8 yards. Ohhh right.

I never understood the mooning over Moonstruck (har) either. I expected to be wowed, but I was so bored throughout the entire thing. Plus, Nicolas Cage is in it, which automatically makes it worse.

"Ron Mexico", that never fails to crack me up...

ok, so abigail breslin signed on to this movie thinking it was "raising helen part 2: kate hudson actually eats something" right? because how else could you get away with such a recyled storyline...single, successful, attractice NEW YORKER (because all romantic comedy stars live and breath new york) at the top of her game receives unwanted child of sister who died in car accident...except it's just one instead of 3. enter, mildly attractive love interest, mild chemistry and a mild romantic plot line.

for fucks sake, the time i ended up in the washroom for half an hour after eating some bad gazpacho sounds more exciting than this.

This review confirmed exactly what I thought this movie would be. I loved Mostly Martha and knew that Hollywood would not be able to do it any justice.

And the spaghetti part actually made sense in Mostly Martha because the character was Italian, and we Italians love spaghetti in a way Americans cannot understand. Also part of the conflict between the chefs is the typical German personality + Italian personality = frustrated Germans.

This sounds EXACTLY like the original (which was indeed great). Moody, slow, quiet. But I suspect the fact that Martha was totally fucked up and unable to relate to anyone except through (her kind of) food was skipped, because that just wouldn't be cheerful, would it? The only upswing I can see to this is . . . mmmmm . . . Eckhart . . . .
sorry, what?

I see no reason to watch this instead of the original. There's a very sexy Italian man in the original, and I can always rewatch Thank You For Smoking if I need a heaping spoonful of Eckhart-shaped charm until The Dark Knight comes out.

I agree with Eliza -- I saw "Mostly Martha" and was charmed. The trailer for this remake made me throw up a little in my mouth. And while Aaron Eckhart has done some great stuff -- "Conversations with Other Women" and "Thank You for Smoking" -- in some ways, I think that "The Core" might have given us some indication that this sad day was coming.

I don't care if Eckhart never makes another good movie, I will still respect him for Thank You For Smoking.

"and we Italians love spaghetti in a way Americans cannot understand" - Georgia
Being an American of Italian decent I am going to have to agree with you. The people I meet that say they don't like spaghetti complete baffle me.

Does anyone remember that montage in America's Sweethearts, at the beginning? They're showing all the "Eddie and Gwen" movies and they're all clearly boring bland cookie-cutter rom-coms; with fake clips that are parodies thereof? Yeah, the first time I saw a poster for this with the tagline "Life isn't made to order", I thought, Hey, that's odd, why are they promoting a movie as old as America's Sweethearts? And where the hell is John Cusack?

....This is not the reaction you want from the general public, marketing dudes.

Wow, you too Telis? It took me a good few minutes of staring at the poster to realise that it was actually not old advertising or some form of parody.

I was almost convinced I didn't have to see this film (all points re: recycled storyline, unfullfiled nature of women unless they have a shrieking brat in their lives, New York being the only city on Earth where they have "frustrated carreer driven single women" noted and agreed with) and then I saw the words "Phillip Glass". Yeah, I am never watching this movie.

Thanks for taking another cinematic bullet Dustin. Although this review has meant that in the space between typing this comment and posting it I have purchased Mostly Martha (I don't do netflix I do buying - which explains why I'm so damned broke all the time), delighted to see that it stars Martina Gedeck who was superb in the Lives of Others.

Dude! Again with the "retarded"! And not in the sarcastic "this crap is homophobic bullshit" Chuck and Larry movie review way. It is a pejorative term on the level of the n-word.

It doesn't matter that you are not referring to a person, although it has been used that way on this site; moreover, to defend its use as separate from a pejorative attack on a person is comparable to Isaiah Washington's defense for using the f-word:

...He said that the "F-word" was not meant as an anti-gay slur, but implied "somebody who is being weak."...

So you see, he didn't mean it was wrong to be gay, it just means you are weak. And calling something or someone "retarded" doesn't mean they literally have something beyond their control which can make them less intelligent or their lives more difficult, it just means dumb and backwards. No harm. No foul.

Let's all move on and use all those other wonderful words in the world's largest language and stop using the one that we were using in grade 5.

Am I being histrionic? I don't care!

Ah...Catherine Zeta Jones. She surely has enough money now - why can't she just stop?

Admittedly, she was ok in 'Intolerable Cruelty', but then how much of a stretch was it to play a shallow, vapid gold-digger.

Stop it Jones.
Just stop it now!

Sasha - I agree with you that retarded is frequently used in a off-handedly derogatory way - and has been used that way on this site (although I think that was by litelysalted). But there is also a musical definition for it, meaning that the tempo is slowing, and I'll assume Dustin meant it in that way.

Thanks Sasha. I thought I was the only one who continually rages against the use of "retarded" as a pejoritive. My retarded aunt was the most thoughtful person I ever met, bilingual, and had a wicked sense of humor. She unfortunately contracted viral meningitis at age four which stunted her mental ability but not her personality and compassion. Others may have greater intellectual capacity, and, therefore should use more descriptive terms rather than relying repeatedly on grade school taunts.

In Dustin's (semi-)defense, a mentronome, being a mechanical device, could indeed be retarded, i.e., made to count out a slower tempo, but I fear that is not what was intended by the phrase, given the repeated appearance (on this site and others) of the term used as an insult rather than an adjective. A self-described bitchy and scathing site should command a far wider range of critical terms than over-reliance on childish insults and f-bombs. Those rhetorical shortcuts reveal far more about the inability or sloth of the writer than they describe the subject of the intended scorn.

Thank you for the support. I must confess, I was expecting a nastier response to my diatribe.

If my musical knowledge has failed me, I apologise, but this is not the first time Dustin has used the term and, sadly, there has not always been a metronome involved.

i have to commend rudy and sasha. kudos to you both for being able to voice your opinion without being a) rude or b) interminably long-winded. this is the way to do comments people!

other than the use of that one word though, i loved the review. brava.

Dustin, hopefully you taped this movie while you were in the theater so now you have something to put the littlest Pajiba to sleep with.

I was really disappointed when I found out "Mostly Martha" was being made into something with Catherine Zeta-Jones. She should stick to hamming it up in movie musicals. "Mostly Martha" was a lovely film and I can't bring myself to see "No Reservations" (which is a stupid title for the story as I know it) despite Aaron Eckhart's talent and beautifulness.

"Moonstruck" is really bad but I love it. Nicholas Cage it terrible but Cher- quite awesome. I'll admit it. Besides, Olympia Dukakis makes that movie. See it just for her.

(Congratulations Mr. Pajiba and Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate!)

Hopefully, we are on route to the world realizing that Catherine Zeta-Jones is not a good actor. God, could she be more wooden?

How can you hate Moonstruck?!?!? It's about Moby-Dick (and not the boring bad English lit style in which it is always taught, but in the exciting whaling, let's go kill things and get revenge sorta way. Moonstruck=first revenge comedy, hello)

Also, knew this movie sucked when saw the preview. Which is so sad. It should have been a made for TV movie, maybe for Food Network or Lifetime.

come on guys, quit acting retarded

Blech, pasta's (mostly) gross.

Sorry, I had to do it. But really, I don't like it. Sauce is yummy, though. And meatballs. Yummmmmm.

Also, I have to back up the anti-retarded folks. I know it's hard, especially for people who came of age in the 70s and 80s, when it was an incredibly common (to the point of overused) slang term, but come on, folks. It's not that hard to force yourself out of the usage, especially in writing, when you can pull out a thesaurus during the editing process, and find an equally scathing, and more appropriate word.

I know this was way, way up in the comments, but DAMN, Jay, do you work for Harlequin? I don't think I could make up those overwrought cover blurbs even in jest- my brain would freeze.

If you want 1000x more entertainment on the topic of food watch No Reservations w/Anthony Bourdain on the Travel Channel. Its bad enough Hollywood can't come up with new movie ideas, now even the titles are unoriginal ripoffs of decent TV shows.

Mr. Rowles what a witty, hip, and current reference about Ron Mexico a.k.a Micheal Vick. You are one in a long line of people to fall into such a easy trap, but I guess your need to be hip and current was much more than you could bear. two groups of people this world would not miss are movie and food critics.

I don't know Pookie, I think I'd miss the movie critics - who else would watch this crap so I don't have to?

Methinks Pookie is a Vick fan, n'est pas?

The two groups of people this world will not miss are hit-and-quit posting a-holes who get riled up over throwaway lines and people over the age of 10 who call themselves names like 'Pookie' and expect to be taken seriously.

he wears a chef shirt, pajama bottoms, those goddamn crocs, and obnoxiously sings opera in the kitchen like Roberto Benigni at an Oscar ceremony

Aaron, Aaron. You are so much better than this.

I actually preferred bleats and bleats like symphonic sheep taken out back for slaughter. "Bleat" is an underappreciated word, especially for mocking whiners; unfortunately, it sounds too much like "bleed" when spoken.

Re "retarded": After years of protecting the use of this word to mock garden-variety idiots, I'm giving in. You guys win, it's pejorative. It is NOT the same as using the "n" word, however, and no amount of foot-stomping can credibly equate the two. The slang use of "retard" is offensive, and that should be enough. Don't overreach to support your point.

[*Big PeeWee Herman "BUT"*] In reference to assumptions about the use of "retard" in this review, let me kiss a little editorial ass for five seconds: The first definition of "retard" in dictionaries, i.e., the preferred and most common usage, is To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede. And it doesn't have to be a musical usage. Unlike the "n" word, "retard" is a perfectly decent and neutral word that has gotten a bad rap from slang usage.

In keeping with the review's theme that the film was "sluggish," the preferred and correct usage of "retard" appears appropriate.

Now, bring the pain.

I ordered Mostly Martha after I saw the first preview for this movie because it made me realize how much I loved that one. I was hoping to go and get another dose of a movie that I loved so much, but it looks like this one is a major dissapointment. Although, I would love to hear a review from someone who saw the original so that the two can be compared. I also remember Moonstruck fondly.

I saw Mostly Martha in when it was originally released to theaters, there is no way can I bring myself to see some lame, substandard US remake of the original.
Even my love of Aaron and "food movies" in general can't make me watch.......or netflix it.

"...typically empty for a single woman without child"

You meant STEREOtypically, right? If not, I've got to say...as a single woman, I'm kind of offended.

To - Now, bring the pain. from socalledonlycousins

The word provocative has meanings other than those pertaining to sexual excitement and yet when it is used these days its meaning has been rendered virtually exclusively sexual. Assailed groups speak of acts of provocation not provocative acts. Your argument makes sense logically, but culturally you must admit that the r-word is most often used in a maligning fashion and with specific intent of insult by association.

Frankly, I don't care if you think it is as bad as the n-word or not, I'm just grateful you are going to stop using it. Thank you.

I have finished stamping my feet now.

Thank you Pajiba for providing a forum for this kind of discussion.

Stacy - not to speak for someone else, but I'm pretty sure he was being ironic. Almost positive, in fact.

I can't think of a single mainstream film from the past five years that set up the No Reservations situation -- smart, independent, attractive female protagonist with a thriving, cool career -- and then had her conclude, "You know what, being on my own with my cool career, no kids, and no steady relationship is awesome -- that's totally the right choice for me." I know it's hardly an original observation that Hollywood totally fails women in this way, but I'm genuinely perplexed that I can't think of a single example. What about independent films? There must be a few there. Where's Bianca when we need her most?

[Your welcome, Sasha -- it's a great argument, and when you're right, you're right. I just think it's an important caveat that the mentally challenged probably never faced armed gangs of hooded men roaming the countryside with guns and nooses yelling, "Let's hang that retard for attending our schools/voting/reading/drinking from our water fountains." Perspective is crucial.]

[Fair enough]

I just hope you're prepared for the specter, ten years' hence, of legions of special-needs kids with baggy, low-riding jeans, sideways caps with the tag hanging off, oversized coats, and lots of bling (blunt-tipped, non-strangling bling), reclaiming the "r" word through a genre of misogynistic, gun-toting, heavy-bass music designed to glorify the "short bus gangsta" lifestyle. Bill O'Reilly's and Robert Novak's heads are going to explode because the special kids can say it and the rest of us can't; I hope you can live with that.

1. Kudos to all involved in the discussion of the word "retarded." I appreciate following an intelligent and respectful discussion of different opinions that doesn't devolve into useless name-calling
2. Pookie is a stupidhead.
3. Jay- I second Phaeolus- Hilarious. Really.
4. Never did care for Moonstruck.

BWAH! Socalled- you beat me to the post by seconds- I wish I had read yours first. Well done, my good man. Well done.

I love the idea of the female protagonist in this film deciding to give the kid up for adoption or something. Like "sorry, it's just not working. There's a reason I don't have kids." I wonder how often this scenario occurs in real life--long-lost sisters and cousins leaving babies to their hardened career-loving ballbuster relatives in the big city. Somehow I doubt it happens much, and it definitely doesn't happen without said ballbuster's permission, right? I mean, come on.

That said, "Baby Boom" was my favorite movie growing up. Sometimes I shudder when I think of how much I loved it. Starting my own applesauce business and falling for the plumber was like my dream in life for years.

...the sort of paint-by-numbers plotline you'd expect from a 1-year-old who can neither count nor paint within the lines, but sure loves to smear his poo on the canvas.

Did I miss someone already commenting on the amazingness of this statement? Because stop me if I have.

And also, I'm tired of these "Adult women who isn't really acting like a normal adult getting taught to act like her age by a tot" movies. For real. I get the irony. The kids are the teachers. It's sooooo funny. Except for the next 2000 times it was done. Yeah, Brie -we're on the same page. I'm having the same deja vu when I see previews for this crapola too.

I think it's fucking retarded the way they have hijacked this thread for the purpose of PC banning another fucking word. And yes, I do resort to insults and F-bomb dropping. It's no different than using very personal experiences to bolster your internet arguments.
Anyway, in my opinion, the writer wasn't even using "retarded" in the manner you seem to think. I think he meant it as in "delayed", you know, a metronome that isn't working at the correct speed.

gawd

If that pisses you off you really should avoid the thread about Captivity as well.

Oh, and with regards to this movie, there's no need to get too fancy, the mere presence Catherine Zeta Jones is a clear indicator the it sucks ass.

If that pisses you off you really should avoid the thread about Captivity as well.

Posted by: Sasha at July 27, 2007 4:24 PM

************************************************

Too late, been there, done that, got a t-shirt.

No. No. No. The phrase is NOT "with regards to". That would indicate that you are sending your regards. The phrase is "with regard to" which indicates that you are making a reference to something. Continue to use imbecilic slang and drop f-bombs. Their continued use does not transform reasoned arguments against their mis-use as PC run amok. It proves the point.

As to the suggestion that retarded people have not suffered historical physical abuse for their mental condition, please note the forced institutionalization and sterilization that was widely practiced in this country well into the 1970s and is still the norm in many eastern European and Middle Eastern countires. Additionally, Hitler murdered hundreds of thousands of retarded people together with Jews, gypsies and homosexuals.

Either way, it's a complete waste of the cast's talent, especially Eckhart, who actually managed to survive in Hollywood for this long without selling out to a less-than-mediocre romantic comedy.

Given that his credits include The Core and Paycheck, I'd say that he's been considerably past the point of selling out for a while now. Eckhart gained a ton of goodwill for TYFS, which "kicking ass and taking names" he was, but I think portraying a pretty crappy villain and digging into the earth's core can certainly be added to the selling out equation.

I'm almost positive that "cinematic manikin" should be "cinematic mannequin".

And I'm almost positive that "cinematic mannequin"
should be "cinematique mannequin."

As to the suggestion that retarded people have not suffered historical physical abuse for their mental condition, please note the forced institutionalization and sterilization that was widely practiced in this country well into the 1970s and is still the norm in many eastern European and Middle Eastern countires. Additionally, Hitler murdered hundreds of thousands of retarded people together with Jews, gypsies and homosexuals.

Hmm, I don't see that suggestion anywhere, rudy; you couldn't possibly be referring to my post, which quite specifically referred to segregation and KKK lynchings of black people as giving an unparalleled political charge to the "n" word.

Plainly, mentally-challenged people have been subjected to physical and emotional abuse, sometimes on a systemic level. I'm pretty sure Hitler's storm troopers were not yelling "retard!" while they rounded people up, however, so the actual word itself does not have the baggage that the "n" word does. That was my point.

SoCalled, I fail to discern a significant rhetorical distinction between forced institutionalization of retarded people and segregation of black people. Indeed, forced sterilization of and experiments upon retarded people had the stamp of authority behind them whereas lynchings--undeniably horrible and perpetrated in many instances by corrupt government officials--did not, at least not acting in their official capacity. Moreover, the charge of lesser mental ability was one of the many levied against black people to justify segregation and murder.

Given that Hitler's troops spoke German, I too doubt they were yelling "retard". I am convinced, however, that they were highly likely yelling the German equivalent. In a similar vein, homosexual survivors of Nazi concentration camps reported that Hitler's troops did indeed yell the equivalent epithet of "faggot" at them. Unfortunately, very few retarded people survived to tell their stories even were they capable of doing so. They were usually killed in the first cull as being the lowest of the lowly.

I am usually PC when it comes to language, but I am defending the critic's use of the R word. Perhaps because I take piano lessons, I found his usage proper and beyond reproach.

Obviously the standard definition of the word (see above) predates the usage of the word to describe people with developmental delays.

Here is a fine example of taking PC language waaaaay too far. Remember this 1999 incident?

Washington, DC's black Mayor, Anthony Williams, gladly accepted the resignation of his white staff member, David Howard, because Mr. Howard uttered the word 'niggardly' in a private staff meeting.

Webster's Tenth Edition defines the word 'niggardly' to "grudgingly mean about spending or granting". The Barnhard Dictionary of Etymology traces the origins of 'niggardly' to the 1300's, and to the words 'nig' and 'ignon', meaning "miser" in Middle English. No where in any of these references is any mention of racial connotations associated with the word 'niggardly'.

With regards to rudy:

You come across as a real class A douchebag, and internet Nazi. And, you have proven absolutely nothing apart from those two facts.

Critique THAT usage.

To clarify my stance:

I object less to an expression like "Oh, that is so retarded" than to the use of the word when referring to people with mental challenges or developmental delays.

Here's a great blog entry on the subject.

"I was watching Lewis Black, the comic, on Comic Relief this weekend and he talked about the word retarded. Mr. Black claimed that it is a great word, very useful and we shouldn't let it go due to pressure for being politically correct. He cautioned that if you should never use it when referring to a mentally challenged person but if you are talking about an adult, of reasonably average intelligence and bullshit is coming out of their mouth you should be able to say, "Stop talking. That is retarded."

To read the rest...

http://colesedwards.wordpress.com/2006/11/22/retarded/

I DO object to the word when referring to people with mental challenges or developmental delays.

Here is a great blog entry I just found.

"I was watching Lewis Black, the comic, on Comic Relief this weekend and he talked about the word retarded. Mr. Black claimed that it is a great word, very useful and we shouldn't let it go due to pressure for being politically correct. He cautioned that if you should never use it when referring to a mentally challenged person but if you are talking about an adult, of reasonably average intelligence and bullshit is coming out of their mouth you should be able to say, "Stop talking. That is retarded."

The system won't let me include the link in my post, but just google a few choice words and you'll find it should you so desire.

I started all this way up at top today, but I actually posted a similar complaint about use of the r-word in another review on Pajiba quite recently. I think it is a clear comment on the interest in the movie being reviewed that the thread has careened off into this tangent.

rudy, if you can't discern the rhetorical distinction in present-day United States between calling a mentally-challenged person a "retard" and calling a black person a "nigger," then you and I don't have much to talk about. There is a BIG difference in the degree of hate-related baggage in those two words -- I never made the slightest comment on the relative historical disadvantages of the two groups targeted by the slurs, which is why I find your comments puzzling. You mischaracterized my initial statement so that you could tilt at some windmills today.

B-Slim, I appreciate your position; just a personal choice today ... the straw that broke the camel's back.

Dustin, you forgot Simply Irresistable as a candidate for worst food rom-com ever - and I was (am) an enormous Buffy fan who loves SMG to pieces and even I admit that that film was a piece of crap.

Regarding 'retarded', dictionary.com states one of its uses as being:

A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay; Music: A slackening of tempo.

I would never use it in reference to a mentally disabled person, but it is perfectly legitimate in other contexts. In fact, my dad is a horticulturalist, and he often laments the retarded growth (ie the slow-paced growth) of certain seedlings: legitimate usage of the word.

Sasha (and B-Slim, you unwilling rapscallion you): A little follow-up, followed by a usage question. So, yeah, the movie sounds like crap. Anyway, I really started thinking more deeply about this issue recently when I read some letters about it from parents of disabled people in, of all places, USA Today. Normally, if USA Today changed my thinking on anything other than how much more I hate USA Today today than I did yesterday, I would shoot myself immediately. But on this issue, the letters were sincere and touching, and enough people I know and respect have argued the point that I am bowing to the will of the sensitive. So, B-Slim, I don't like the PC po-po either, but I'm trying to be a better man.

Now, my question: What if I still call the Doofus-in-Chief "President Short Bus"? I really, really like that nickname and even got to yell it at him one time out in public. Can I use the phrase "short bus" in other mockery contexts? Please validate my one-way ticket to hell while you're at it.

The movie is wish fulfillment for minivan jockeying soccer moms along with all the other similar vehicles helmed by the likes Drew Barrymore and Diane Ladd. The women in these retarded crapfests never have technical jobs, they're chefs or they think up lyrics or work at ad agencies but they're never statistical analysts for insurance underwriters. They represent the audience in female pron the same way Ron Jeremy represents his audience in wish fulfillment male pron. He's ugly, fat and hairy but he's covered in naked girls. These women have the personalities of chain saws but the movie can't be honest enough to show them as being old and ugly and still expect the soccer moms to show up. The kids come to them by adoption so as not to remind the soccer moms that they were married to that rat bastard who took off with that 21 year old secretary/waitress/stripper. Then magically John Corbett/Jon Cusack/Aaron Eckhart/Hugh Grant comes into their lives, some generic drama-rama occurs and it's time for the soccer mom to go to the theater next door where her kids have probably been enjoying a much better movie like Ratatouille.

People forget that retarded was the PC term of its day and replaced the previous PC terms of moron, imbecile and idiot which referred to specific IQ score ranges until they too lost their PC status. In a few short years mentally disable, specially abled, differently abled or specially enabled will be the new derogatory term and whoever uses them will be considered, gasp, insensitive, unless that too becomes an un-PC derogatory term and the PC police have to come up with a replacement for it as well.

It is generally quite apparent when someone is using the 'R' word in the correct manner, eg."The medication has proven successful in retarding the progression of the disease," (and the metronome comment was, in fact, correct usage), and when someone is using the word to relate an action or person to something 'stupid' or 'slow' or 'not normal.'

As a general rule of thumb, a sentence involving correct usage contains 5 or more words, as opposed to the 3 or 4 words often used by those for whom the purchase and use of a thesausus would be a great boon to projected intellect.

The irony is that those who use it in the perjorative manner immediately qualify themselves for the slur they are using.

When I saw the trailer for this ahead of Ratatouille, I felt the agony that only a fatal blow to the head paced out over 10 years of barely perceptible but ever intensifying taps with a frying pan can deliver. But now I realize that what I should have felt was sheer joy and anticipation of the accordingly hilarious and genius review it was to withdraw from this site.

On another note, was I scrolling through the comments too quickly, or did I detect a whiff of outrage surrounding Dustin's use of the phrase "retarded metronome"? I'm sorry, but I thought people here had a sense of humor.

Hahah!! Well-said, Diana. CAN WE ALL PLEASE JUST MOVE ON.

The irony is that those who use it in the perjorative manner immediately qualify themselves for the slur they are using.

Actually, the irony is that you just used it in the way that you find so offensive. Might as well say "people who say retarded are retarded".

And please, people, stop saying "the r-word". It's silly. And for that matter, just fucking say nigger, would you? It's offensive if you are calling someone a nigger. Not if you are using it in a discussion.

I can't say I agree with those who think the two are similar - I think they are miles apart. And I can't say I'll stop using retarded (in the pejorative) altogether - I'm sure it will slip out here and there. But I can say that I won't use it here, and it's given me food for thought.

And finally, please don't insult those who were defending it by calling them stupid, or inarticulate. I'm with Barbado - I'm pretty articulate, write reasonably well in private and professionally, and I will drop the f-bomb like a motherfucker.

I have to agree with others who have commented on Mostly Martha. That movie was really great (for what it was), and as soon as I saw they were remaking this I feared for the worst. Good to know my fears have been confirmed. I think I'll just go Netflix the original.

How SAD! This movie is a remake of a movie I LOVED: the original film is German, and it was delightful-I was hoping this movie would be good or better....but I was disappointed. :(

I HATE CATHERINE ZETA-JONES. I have a white-hot hate for her stronger than the fiery power of a thousand suns.

I don't even know particularly what it is, but I think it has its roots in her voice. Her voice is like sandpaper on an open wound.

Then there's the fact that my 19 year old senile cat could act better than she can.

GOD, I hate her. Can I get some amens?

Good to know that if I want to see Aaron Eckhart being nice to kids, I'll just put in Erin Brockovich instead of being curious about this movie possibly being any good.

But Dustin, really- Don't diss Matchbox Twenty. It's my "I'm depressed like I was in middle school and I just want it to go away" music. Don't mess with that. Potshots at Michael Vick are always welcome, though.

Oh, my $.02 on the 'retarded' issue:

Sure, it's feasible that Dustin meant 'slow.' But, if we're going to look so deeply into the meaning of the word and how it was used to determine whether it's offensive or not, I'm going to analyze the 'metronome' part of this equation. Now, the school of music I come from says that a retarded metronome has nothing wrong with it, considering some music is slow. It's just theoretically not possible for the slowness of a metronome to be a fault to its nature- metronomes are meant to be slow as well as fast, as well as most speeds in between. So for that phrase to be an insult to the movie (which I think we all agree it was), I think we have to look to its connotations of mental deficiency.

I have to note here my great and abiding love for the original version of this little flick - Bella Martha, or as it was billed in the US, Mostly Martha. It was a little movie, and sweet to boot, in a way that European movies have mastered and American movies attempt but just butcher. It was, also, an utterly German film, about the inability of that nation's people to be warm and fuzzy and how that contrasted sharply with the new Italian sous chef, a cliched yet highly appealing version of mediterranian warmth and family caring. It was done very well, with huge doeses of humor, humanity, and compassion.

Thats it - I won't be seeing this new abomination - and I highly recomend the original for a non-gag inducing friday night smoochfest.

Come on, Moonstruck teaches us a valuable lesson: that all problems in life can be solved with a slap to the face accompanied by a command of "Snap out of it!"

I risk Pajiba cred revocation for this, but:

I like Catherine Zeta-Jones. I question her taste in men, but I've never disliked her on screen. She's so purdy.

You want to REALLY get off topic?

As someone who lives and breathes classical music, I'm just saying: yeah, 'to retard' technically means to gradually slacken the pace, but the word 'retard' is never used in reference to a musical event. Someone might reference to a score and talk about a point where the 'ritardando' occurs, but no one ever says, 'Okay Raheem, can you retard your pace here?' Ever. They'll just say 'slow the crap down now.' Depending on the type of slowing down wanted, you'll se 'rit', which is short for 'ritardando' (slow down gradually), or 'ritenuto' (slow down immediately). So that's the story on that. I'm sounding pedantic, yeah, I know. But I'm just saying is all. If this thread is going to turn into an extended discussion on the word 'retard' I feel like should just get it out there: while the terms are technically related, they are still pronounced and spelled differently. And musicans-- again-- never say 'retard'. It'd be kind of like a chemist talking about 'going out science-ing', or something. But with a word that actually exists, you know what I mean. I might have busted up any credibility I had gained with that one, but it would sound that way. And if you ever did hear someone say, he'd just be a bloviating ass. That's something that easy to find in the world of classical music, but it's just as easy to find amongst the so-called 'hipsters' (if anyone is willing to self-identify as such anymore), and I'm sure there are words they would never say that aren't even 'Billy Joel'. Whatever, you know what I mean, it's just not something that I, or anyone that I have ever worked/studied with has said or heard. But seriously, if your metronome is slowing down on you, buy a new one.

Also, nobody likes AMERICA'S SWEETHEARTS.

Sorry for the diversion.

"douchebag" How retro; how scathing (not); how bitchy (if you are a fifth grade girl). Thanks for elevating the discussion to your level.

ouch. this looked like an alright movie...i guess not. lol.

Echoing the comments above to say that the original "Mostly Martha" was wonderful, and this is coming from someone who detests "chick flicks." Everyone save your money and Netflix the original instead!

"...The only way it could go further was if Eckhart was a man she long ago vowed never to let back in until he was revealed to actually be, not a sous chef, but an undercover fed charged with safeguarding her. Her life was in danger, but so was her HEART."
Posted by: Jay at July 26, 2007 10:22 PM

Jay, you're hilarious! :D

I never knew Catherine ZJ could be disliked so much until I read this. She's too pretty. I enjoyed Entrapment (Sean Connery helped with that) and I liked her in Mask of Zorro. and i love chicago.

I LOve the soundtrack..it is amazing!!!I bought it and can't stop listening...

How does Catherine Zeta-Jones keep getting cast as a romantic lead? Sure, she's beautiful, but she's got all the sex appeal of dirty socks.

Hi,

very intersting comments here, good to read that I am not the only one liking the original "Bella Martha": very good, not great, - for it's genre (IMHO).



Concerning the PC* talk:

Hitler did kill millions of people, mostly jews.
Yes.

But from all the sources that I can remember/reach, it was probably "only" several 100s to 1000s of "retarded" persons killed. Too many families objected. Certainly it can not be compared (in terms of numbers/percentage of kills relative to the total goup size) with the shoah etc.



no insults intended, thanks



M



*: BTW, I detest this thougt police - maybe BECAUSE I am german - and like to believe that I developed sensors for totalitarian thought-control, both nazi or commy style: I believe that we have to "endure" the others persons freedom to some extent)

sorry,

I stand corrected: Hitler did kill (slightly?) more than 100.000 persons that were considered useless because of being "retarded", "idiots" etc.
Sorry for the bad research. My sources were outdated or proven wrong.
Also: I would like to make clear that I know it wasn't Hitler himself who killed all those millions of people, but the german people (and - to some extend - their allies). The former wording was not meant to shift responsability from the people to "just one evil person".
thanks
M

Maybe you would prefer "Mr Brooks"?

Have you ever eaten a whole bag of fairy floss on your own? This film gave me the same feeling of slightly-sick sugary fullness coupled with a hunger for something more substantial.

although Eckhart may have "managed to avoid a less-than-mediocre romantic comedy" prior to this bomb, he certainly didn't avoid less-than mediocre altogether. anyone making that claim must've missed Possession. for which he/she should feel most grateful. it wasn't supposed to be funny, but my friend and I laughed our way right out of the theater.

although Eckhart may have "managed to avoid a less-than-mediocre romantic comedy" prior to this bomb, he certainly didn't avoid less-than mediocre altogether. anyone making that claim must've missed Possession. for which he/she should feel most grateful. it wasn't supposed to be funny, but my friend and I laughed our way right out of the theater.

stop dumpin' on poor catherine she's great