The Network Upfronts / The TV Whore
May 14, 2007
Well today was the start of the four-day television orgasm that is the Upfronts. NBC led off the week, and let’s get to it.
For starters, despite speculation that two of them might not survive, all three “Law & Orders” are in fact coming back. However, original episodes of “Criminal Intent” will be airing on USA first, with reruns then popping up later on NBC-proper (this is purportedly in an attempt to beef up the USA network, but I wonder if “CI” really has enough of a draw to help out). And the big-daddy original, while getting a full 22-episode order, won’t show up until 2008, when football is over and done with. No word on whether NBC will trim/change the casts in a cost-saving move, but my money would be on “well, duh.”
As expected, “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” and “Andy Barker, P.I.” are kaput. Ditto that for “Raines,” “The Black Donnellys” (suck it Haggis!), “Kidnapped” and “20 Good Years” (mercy killing). The only real surprise (to some, I guess), is that “Crossing Jordan” also got the axe after six relatively stable seasons. Now folks are also saying that “The Apprentice” is done, because NBC didn’t mention it (and at these upfronts, networks don’t actually announce a cancellation — we have to infer cancellations by the network’s failure to mention a show). However, NBC later said that it will look at the issue later and figure out “if a spot can be cleared on the schedule.” If they can get Burnett and Trump to do it without costing an arm and a leg, I’m betting there will be holes in the schedule that will need some midseason filling, meaning another stupid round of “you’re fired” is likely.
Now we already knew “Friday Night Lights” was getting renewed (huzzah, I say!), but we didn’t know where it was going. Friday nights, 10 p.m. — that’s where. Most folks say this means that NBC has no faith in the show (probably true) and that the show is probably already a dead man walking. I’m not necessarily sure I agree with that second sentiment because, look at it this way — NBC probably has low ratings expectations at that timeslot, so the show won’t have to do nearly as much heavy lifting as NBC wanted when it was on an early-week 8 p.m. slot, right? Personally, I like lowered expectations — hell, I’d still be a virgin if it weren’t for lowered expectations!
Thursday nights look roughly the same for the network, although the order of the comedies have been rejiggered a little (see full schedule below). The big news is that “Scrubs” got its seventh (and surely last) season, although with a slightly abbreviated 18-episode order. “My Name is Earl,” meanwhile, got an expanded 25-episode order, and “The Office” got a mega-25 episode order, with five of those episodes being an hour-long (which was the rumor I told you about last week).
NBC has plenty of room on its schedule for new shows, and there are a batch of new dramas on the fall slate. Interestingly, there isn’t a single new comedy (one report says this is a first for NBC in almost 30 years), although there is a midseason comedy on tap, “The IT Crowd” (a remake of a British show — think “The Office” meets computer-tech nerds). Anyway, I’ll discuss the rest of the new shows below, as we work through the schedule (new shows in caps). And remember, since it’s only May, this is certainly subject to change between now and the fall (recall last year, when “Studio 60” quickly got moved just a mere week after NBC’s upfront).
MONDAYS:
8 p.m.: “Deal or No Deal.” Whatever or no, seriously, whatever.
9 p.m.: “Heroes.” No surprise that this show stays put. However, there is some news here. NBC ordered up 24 episodes, plus another six episodes of “Heroes: Origins.” “Origins” will be six standalone episodes, each introducing a new character. And after all six have aired, folks will be able to vote on which one becomes a regular in the third season. Interesting idea. More importantly, NBC has promised that it won’t pepper these six episodes throughout the season, getting in the way of the show-proper. Rather, the most likely scenarios are that it’ll simply air after “Heroes” does a full run, or that “Heroes” will take a six-week hiatus for “Origins” (my money is surely on the latter).
10 p.m.: “JOURNEYMAN.” One of the network’s new dramas, “Journeyman” stars Kevin McKidd (“Rome”), which is great. But it also sounds like a rip-off my beloved “Quantum Leap,” which pisses me off, as I’d just rather have more “Quantum Leap.” McKidd’s character travels back into the past to have some role in bettering the lives of others (does he have a hologram friend?), and runs into some folks from his past along the way. But it’s not like “Quantum Leap,” NBC would have us believe, because there’s romance too (I think his dead ex-fiance is also a time traveler, or some such). Feh! (And while I still may tune in at first because I’m now a fan of McKidd, I’d be more inclined to tune in if Ray Stevenson was his hologram buddy!)
TUESDAYS:
8 p.m.: “The Biggest Loser.” The biggest “who gives a shit.”
9 p.m.: “CHUCK.” So a nerdy kid (wanna’ guess his name?) ends up getting a computer chip full of CIA secrets lodged onto his brain, or some such, and he becomes, like, the most important tool in the war against terror. He’s a powerful weapon for the government, taking down international terrorists when he’s not too busy playing video games. …Yup. The only thing this show has going for it is that it’s produced by “The O.C.’s” Josh Schwartz. If he really has fun with this and plays up the comedy (which, for me, was always the best part of “The O.C.”), this show has a chance at being OK. But I wouldn’t bet the rent on it. I probably wouldn’t even bet tomorrow morning’s coffee money on it.
10 p.m.: “Law & Order: SVU.” We already knew it was coming back, and it was a safe bet to stay in its regular home. So nothing to see here.
WEDNESDAYS:
8 p.m.: “Deal or No Deal.” Don’t watch or…don’t watch.
9 p.m.: “THE BIONIC WOMAN.” You already know what this show is about, so I’ll just say that its only chance comes from the fact that “Battlestar Galactica” executive produce David Eick is behind it, which gives it a shred of credibility. Quite frankly, I’ll watch the first episode just to hear the jumping “ch-ch-ch-ch-ch” noise (she better jump at the end of the premiere episode, after being rebuilt!). But after that, this show’s gonna’ need to work hard to get me back for a second viewing. (And like “Heroes,” reruns will air over on the SciFi channel.)
10 p.m.: “LIFE.” Man am I torn about this one. On the one hand, I could care less about the storyline — “Life” is a drama about a detective who went to the clink for a crime he didn’t commit (but he doesn’t escape and join the A-Team, damn it!), and returns from jail to find that life is hard out there for an ex-con (but his new criminal ties will surely help him solve his weekly detective mysteries, right?). But the reason I’m torn is that the main character is being played by Damian Lewis, who was absolutely brilliant in “Band of Brothers” as the kick-ass Major Dick Winters. Luckily, this tie is broken by the fact that, much like “The Bionic Woman” will be rerun on SciFi, this show will also be getting the cable rerun treatment … on Lifetime. That’s it, I’m out!
THURSDAYS:
8 p.m.: “My Name is Earl.” With the extra episodes, I hope this means even more “bad Earl.” That’s not too much to ask for, right?
8:30 p.m.: “30 Rock.” I don’t care if his kid is a little pig, I welcome Alec Baldwin and company back.
9 p.m.: “The Office.” As I said last week, I just hope the extra order doesn’t strain the writers (last week’s episode, for example, had some good bits, but was an all-around weak show, raising my concerns even more).
9:30 p.m.: “Scrubs.” Past its prime, but I’m still glad it’ll get to have a proper sendoff.
10 p.m.: “ER.” … … I seriously have nothing to say about this, having watched but one episode since the first season.
FRIDAYS:
8 p.m.: “1 vs. 100” and … wait for it … “SINGING BEE.” Because the world needs more singing competition shows.
9 p.m.: “Las Vegas.” Welcome back to regular network TV work, Mr. Tom Sellick.
10 p.m.: “Friday Night Lights.” Despite what I said above, this probably will be the last season for the show, but fuck it — that’s 22 more episodes then I ever expected we would get. NBC could air this at 11 p.m. on Saturdays, for all I care. (What’s that, you say? But that’s when “Saturday Night Live” airs? Exactly.)
SATURDAYS:
8 p.m.: “Dateline NBC.”
9 p.m.: Drama show rerurns.
10 p.m.: More drama show reruns.
SUNDAYS:
7 p.m.: “Football Night in America.” And when football season is over, this will be more “Dateline.”
8 p.m.: “Sunday Night Football.” Post-football season, this is where “Law & Order” lands.
9 p.m.: After football, Patricia Arquette’s “Medium” takes over.
10 p.m.: Again, we’re talking about after football season is over. That’s when “LIPSTICK JUNGLE” will premiere. Based on a book by Candace Bushnell (author of Sex and the City), this treads new ground by focusing on three high-powered NYC ladies (including Brooke Shields and Kim Raver). As the press release puts its: the women “are determined to achieve their dreams and to do it on their own terms.” And the football fans that used to occupy this spot are determined to flee away as quickly as possible.
And that’s NBC. Come on back tomorrow for ABC and … sigh … the fucking Geico cavemen.
…oh, and here’s a short preview clip from “Journeyman:”
Seth “the Orangutan” Freilich is Pajiba’s television columnist. He didn’t mention some midseason dance competition show produced by Randy Jackson. This was surely on purpose.
Pajiba Love 05/14/07 | | Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall, A |
Comments
Season 5 of Scrubs was the best for me...probably followed by 3. 6 is still funny, but has fallen far from five.
Posted by: Kevin Longrie at May 14, 2007 9:09 PM
Hurray AGAIN for Friday Night Lights! Thanks, Seth, for letting us know last week that it was coming back. Friday nights sounds ok to me... who watches TV live anymore anyway?
As for the rest of the NBC schedule...bleh. Sitcoms: won't miss 'em, unless more of them = fewer America-you-voted shows.
Posted by: trueblue at May 14, 2007 9:37 PM
I'm not surprised about Crossing Jordan. If anything, I thought it would have been axed sooner. I never hear about it anymore, good or bad.
As much as it breaks my heart to say this, they should just cancel ER. Believe me Seth, you haven't missed anything of note this season. ER has sucked so bad in the past 3 years, and Goran Visjnic's departure won't do anything to boost or ruin the ratings. It's just boring. Although I would never watch it's alternative, ER has fallen so far, I can't even give a shit anymore about who leaves and who stays.
Lipstick Jungle: Hell no. I got enough of Sarah Jessica Parker's whiny ass the first time around. I give it 5 episodes.
Posted by: Brie at May 14, 2007 10:06 PM
what about FOX's The Sarah Connor Chronicles?
Posted by: goldend at May 14, 2007 10:19 PM
kim raver in a new show? does this mean 24 fans are saved? i haven't been so happy since the death of sherry palmer.
Posted by: cris at May 14, 2007 10:46 PM
goldend - we'll talk about that on Thursday, after Fox's upfront.
Posted by: Seth at May 14, 2007 10:47 PM
Jerks, putting "The Office" in the same slot as "Grey's Anatomy". But I know which I'll be watching because I can't go a week without it and which I'll be viewing at my leisure IF I have time to pay attention to its absurd plot twists and ludicrous character development. Humph.
Posted by: Geetch at May 14, 2007 10:49 PM
'Heroes', 'Earl', 'The Office' and a sweet farewell tour for 'Scrubs'. As for the rest, Suck It, NBC.
(I never allowed myself to get hooked on 'FNL' or '30 Rock' because I was positive that NBC wouldn't allow them a full season, much less renewal. I'll catch up with those two.)
Posted by: Spender at May 14, 2007 11:17 PM
The extra episodes of Heroes will be webisodes, and I think they will air over the summer.
Posted by: Daisy at May 15, 2007 12:43 AM
God damn americans, always stealing great british comedies...British IT Crowd is awesome!!1
Posted by: Secret Spell at May 15, 2007 1:36 AM
Secret Spell you beat me to it. I don't mind about the Office as I can't stand the British version and I can maybe see an American version of the IT Crowd working but if they remake Peep Show I will kill myself.
No. Seriously.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at May 15, 2007 4:28 AM
I'm going to miss my Tuesday night D'nofrio fix.
Posted by: twilly at May 15, 2007 7:57 AM
No more bad news so early in the morning, Seth.
I really don't know why I'm surprised about NBC remaking The IT Crowd. I think they believe that just because they lucked out on The Office (had they started it any later, they never would've gotten Carrell) that they can remake every decent UK comedy in the past 10 years. Of course, it's better than them writing their own comedies. Blech.
Oh well, at least Moss will still be the same (if I'm wrong just don't tell me, ok?).
Posted by: Smokin at May 15, 2007 8:02 AM
As much as I still look forward to it every week, I'm becoming seriously concerned about The Office's ability to sustain its quality. :-/
Posted by: Mimi at May 15, 2007 8:20 AM
Daisy - no, "Heroes: Origins" will be televised, and will air sometime over the course of next season.
Posted by: Seth at May 15, 2007 8:48 AM
BOO-URNS!!! BOO-URNS, NBC! The Office at 9:00? Let's hope the CW moves my boys back to Tuesdays, or NBC can suck my balls. Andy Barker is canceled? Suck 'em anyway.
Oh and about that other thing, I'd rather they just air reruns of Quantum Leap, since the DVD sets ruined it for me.
And where the fuck is Predator?
Posted by: litelysalted at May 15, 2007 9:08 AM
I am sorry to see Raines go. I would watch Jeff Goldblum twitch his way through the phone book.
Posted by: djo at May 15, 2007 9:44 AM
Jamie Sommers, the bionic woman, resting peacefully after cancellation, we can revive it, re-imagine it, make it really suck, rape everyone's memories, we have the technology...
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 15, 2007 10:45 AM
It's far worse that you think BarbadoSlim. The title role is being played by a British soap actress. A bad British soap actress. For those of you who've never seen a British soap... well, I'm so jealous I could cry.
I also think you should try watching Eastenders as pennance.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at May 15, 2007 10:56 AM
The IT Crowd?? NBC is remaking the IT Crowd? Aigh. The original BBC series is awful. The NBC version will be an even more soul-suckingly awful.
I love Quantum Leap - but when it was awful, it was the worst of the 80's programming. The series hasn't aged well in some respects. And we're all dying for resolution still.
Imagine if you will: casting Scott Bakula in the first season of The Journeyman - pure gold, baby!
Posted by: idiosynchronic at May 15, 2007 11:08 AM
Let me just take this opportunity to say Scott Bakula's captain Archer was the WORST STAR TREK characterization EVER. He managed to out suck Kate Mulgrew, and that's really saying something.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 15, 2007 11:27 AM
I'm almost happy to hear that the entire next season of The Office will not consist of hour-long episodes. But not entirely happy because there's still those five damned episodes that will be. Why does NBC insist on messing with a good thing? Bastards.
I can't believe that Deal Or No Deal is on twice a week! Once a week is one time too many, but twice a week.....I think Al Qaeda must be behind that one. Terrorism through sucking IQ points into the negative.
Posted by: stardust savant at May 15, 2007 11:36 AM
Ok, we all need to stop jinxing The Office by nay-saying its sustainability. Seriously folks, no more nay-saying!
Posted by: Jen at May 15, 2007 11:38 AM
BarbadoSlim, oh no you did not just insult the soap opera chops of Kate Mulgrew!! That was one of the best things about the Voyager series. I heart a captain with a grating voice, inexplicable hair-dos, and soap opera eye-rolls, sighs, and overacted outrage against injustice. It's as laughably bad as the xenophobia and sexism of the original Star Trek.
Posted by: stardust savant at May 15, 2007 11:42 AM
The IT Crowd was actually a channel 4 production. It doesn't make much difference but for once I have knowledge on a (completely pointless) subject and damnit if I'm not going to use it!
Posted by: Alex the Odd at May 15, 2007 11:49 AM
Seth, as far as cast changes/cuts on any of the Law & Orders, Dick Wolf said there won't be any, but they are making budget cuts. It sounds like Wolf himself is taking a huge pay cut to keep the shows going.
Posted by: audrey at May 15, 2007 11:56 AM
But Idiosynchronic, wasn't Joanna Lumley a bad British soap opera actress? And she's, well, fabulous in Ab Fab!
Bionic Woman...well, meh. But then, I said the same thing about Battlestar Galactica way back when and then I watched a couple of episodes and got seriously, but seriously hooked. So I may check it out. Maybe.
And Seth, I'm with you on having Ray Stevenson be the hollographic buddy Dean Stockwell character on Journeyman. He and Kevin McKidd should just go out for jobs as a team from now on.
Posted by: Armando at May 15, 2007 12:39 PM
CLEAR EYES, FULL HEARTS, ANOTHER SEASON, CAN'T LOSE!
Posted by: RAT at May 15, 2007 1:00 PM
The IT Crowd has its funny moments. But I'm sure that the original version of Coupling had its moments, too, and look what happened when we tried to remake that over here (personally, I never liked Coupling, original or American). As a result, I'm not getting my hopes up for The IT Crowd remake.
Posted by: Lindsey at May 15, 2007 1:13 PM
Even though "Journeyman" and "Life" sound a little weak, I am ecstatic to see the reappearance of the actors behind two of my favorite TV characters of all time: Kevin McKidd (Centurion Lucius Vorenus) and Damian Lewis (Major Dick Winters). "Rome" and "Band of Brothers" live on with the promise of launching these two great actors into more projects.
Vorenus appears to be sporting a solid American accent. I hope that's not too distracting. Oh, who am I kidding, that show will be gone after six episodes anyway.
Damian Lewis has just the right kind of quiet-integrity-smolders-during-unjust-imprisonment that could allow him to save a potentially disastrous show. I give this one much better odds than "Journeyman," but who the hell knows?
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at May 15, 2007 2:30 PM
I thought last week's episode of "The Office" was fantastic, not weak in the least. I was laughing out loud constantly. And I definitely think the last 4 or 5 "Office" episodes have been more quality than those in the middle of the season. Overall, though, I think this was something of an experimental season, with a lot of plot-moving. It's been frustrating to have so little Jim-Pam interaction, which is part of the reason I found Pam's impromptu speech in "Beach Games" to be so satisfying. If I were her, though, I'd have just tossed Karen in the lake and slapped/kissed Jim. But hey, I'm a little more bold than ol' Pammy.
Posted by: Katie at May 15, 2007 2:33 PM
Is it just me or does Chuck sound an awful lot like Jake 2.0 except without the goodness that is Christopher Gorham/"Henry" in the lead?
Posted by: McGeek at May 15, 2007 2:45 PM
Seriously--no naysayers!!! The Office is still superior to anything on television (okay, except my girl Veronica, who will still be on next season I hope!).
Posted by: bonnie at May 15, 2007 3:02 PM
Friday Night Lights always seemed like an interesing show to me, but never got around to watching it. Same goes for Raines. Guess I'll catch them when they make it to DVD.
Heroes has got to be the first network show I've looked forward to watching every week in a long time. I did keep up on ER for a while after watching reruns on TNT, but ever since Lindsay Weir's ex-husband rolled on the ER and shot Jerry I couldn't put up with it. Yeeccch.
Glad to see all the Law and Order installments made it. I love those shows, even though I rarely watch the first-run episodes anymore. However, I am always happy for more rerun fodder on USA when I'm bored late at night.
So Heroes is definitely coming back and we know the Shield will have another season past the current one. Now I just need Veronica Mars for the trifecta...
Posted by: Czar at May 15, 2007 6:00 PM
If you are a fan of Damian Lewis, you should check him out in the Forsythe Saga. He is definitely not the hero in that series, but is still so very good.
Posted by: Nicole at May 15, 2007 9:59 PM
litelysalted - What happened to the Quantum Leap DVD sets that made them so bad? Dang, I was just about to buy them.
Scrubs died after season 3 for me. JD's character turned from a sensitive, thoughtful, wide-eyed kid into a self-important assface. Which is not entirely unrealistic for a medical student who becomes a fully-fledged doctor, but I don't think it happened for that reason. I have my suspicions that it was Zach Braff's doing. As much as I still want to like the guy, he's making it difficult.
Posted by: WhinyDancer at May 16, 2007 12:45 AM
Hey, Eick isn't the only thing Bionic Women has going for it. There's also Katee Sackhoff, who is generally pretty awesome, and enough to rope me into watching.
Posted by: MarchingOcelot at May 16, 2007 7:00 PM
I agree about Damian Lewis in the Forsyte Saga, he's a genius. And he kinda-sorta causes Ioan Gruffud's death in that miniseries, so bonus.
Am I the only one who wants a show I really like to peter out pathetically? Screw shows for leaving in their prime when I want more. I want 5 more seasons of Scrubs, so I can stop watching and become embarrassed by its existence. Makes it less painful.
I've watched every season of ER, and I think this season has been great, now that they do more character stuff and fewer giant explosions. I love the Ray/Neela almost-romance with the white hot passion of a thousand suns, and if it doesn't work out between them I will KILL MYSELF. Ok, not really... I need to lie down.
Posted by: Grumblecakes at May 16, 2007 11:24 PM
WhinyDancer-
Starting with the second season, to save money they swapped out most of the original music for generic muzak. Remember the awesome, blubber-worthy scene in the second season finale where Al dances with his wife to Georgia on my Mind? Okay, now try to picture it WITHOUT Georgia on my MOTHERFUCKING Mind.
I don't know if they rectified this for later season sets but I was too digusted to bother finding out.
Posted by: litelysalted at May 17, 2007 4:50 PM
Moving "Medium" to Sunday at 9 p.m.?
They must be trying to get rid of it.
I say a hearty "Buh-bye" (and good riddance) to "Crossing Jordan". "Jordan's" funky eyebrow (have you noticed the hairs growing the wrong direction? get the tweezers!) and the mysterious wind that only seemed to blow in HER face, will not be missed.
Posted by: madame_ugly at May 18, 2007 12:17 PM
I noticed no SNL on dat night. is it becaue its a given it will be on or is omething up?
Posted by: ashtasttic at May 19, 2007 8:44 PM
"The IT Crowd" is absolutely hilarious! I hope the remake does it justice.
Posted by: Loob at May 21, 2007 4:31 AM
