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My Pajiba Gets All Icy in the Winter
The Daily Trade Round-Up / Daniel Carlson
After a few weeks of cold nights and weekends of scattered showers, spring is finally poking its tentative head out into Los Angeles. The sun is out, the strike is over, and now it’s time for the inevitable: Scheduling nightmares. Now that studios can have writers fix scripts, they’re shuffling their film release dates in an effort to balance out their 2008-09 slates. Perhaps the biggest move is Paramount’s decision to bump Star Trek back from this Christmas to May 8, 2009, though Paramount attributes the move to the fact that the film has better potential as a summer tentpole. Star Trek will have that week all to itself, since it’s now opening one week after Fox’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine and one week before Sony’s Angels and Demons, the sequel to The Da Vinci Code whose release was also delayed several months because of the strike. It also has moved David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, starring Brad Pitt, from Nov. 26 to Dec. 19, essentially just shifting it from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Additionally, DreamWorks bumped Tropic Thunder from July 11 to Aug. 15. Consider yourselves informed.
This sounds painful: Fox has optioned the rights to Doug Brown’s memoir Just Do It: How One Couple Screwed Their Life and Love Back Together. As you may have already guessed from the book’s unfortunately pun-laden title, the book is about Brown and his wife, who challenge themselves to have sex daily for 101 days in a row, regardless of where they are or what they’re fighting about or (one assumes) whether they even had the strength or motivation. The book isn’t even out yet, so there’s no telling if it’s lame and jokey or just plain unsettling, but you just know this is gonna turn out to be the kind of boilerplate high-concept-but-not-really romantic comedy that Hollywood loves to make. Possible titles for the adaptation include Sextra Innings, Love Machines, and Dear God I Regret This.
Fox also announced this week that it has obtained the rights to make a big-screen version of “Ice Road Truckers,” the History Channel show about big-rig drivers who haul equipment over a highway made of ice in the Northwest Territories of Canada. The show is literally about driving a very long way while it’s cold, and it’s the History Channel’s highest-rated show. Not “Mail Call,” not “Band of Brothers” repeats, not “Every Single Thing You Ever Wanted to Know About Hitler.” It’s all about “Ice Road Truckers.” Fox hasn’t hired a writer yet, but who the hell cares.
Also, the news is a couple days old, but Roy Scheider died Sunday night. As is often the case with older actors, his final few credits are a poor reflection of what he could and did accomplish at his peak. He was great in The French Connection and William Friedkin’s Sorcerer, but he’ll be best remembered as Chief Brody from Jaws. Scheider was classic.
Anyway, on to the trailer watch. The first clip is for Morgan Spurlock’s new documentary, Where in the World Is Osama Bin Laden?, and if it’s anything like Super Size Me, it’ll be an entertaining look at modern culture mixed with hints of mildly misleading propaganda. (I mean, seriously, no one actually thinks you can eat McDonald’s all the time and not die.) Anyway, check it out:
Next up is the latest trailer for Taken, a thriller starring Liam Neeson as an ass-kicking operative out to rescue his daughter. I know what you’re all thinking; Van-Damme already went there in Sudden Death. Still, Taken looks like it could have potential. Don’t be thrown off by the subtitles; it’s directed by Pierre Morel, who also helmed District B13. One can only hope that Neeson engages in some parkour:
Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.
Pajiba Love 02/13/08 | | L.A. Story
Comments
Well there's more to Ice Road Truckers than the cold. There's the looming danger of the trucks breaking through the ice and falling into the lakes below - something that no one ever survives. That show's gripping just because you can hear the ice cracking and creaking every second those trucks are on the lake and you're just waiting for disaster.
But the movie's gonna suck. They'll thrown in an explosion or something to melt the ice and leave a truck stranded on an ice floe in the middle of the lake. I can almost guarantee it. Gonna be dumb.
Posted by: RichD at February 14, 2008 6:58 AM
The less said about Star Trek: "Young Adventures of Douchebag Kirk and Emo Spock" the better.
Moving on, Fox's Ice Road Truckers will have a fast moving glacier chasing a Kenworth all over the Alaskan tundra. At some point, the following things will happen: the phrase "Is it cold enuff' for ya.." will be delivered, and a scene with a truck barely escaping a wall of exploding ice will be shown.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 14, 2008 7:07 AM
Man, I am a sucker for the 'Semi-Retired Badass is Poked with a Stick, Freaks Out, Kills Everything' movie. I will watch Taken with the same glee as Man on Fire.
Posted by: twig at February 14, 2008 7:21 AM
As a Canadian who has had to put up with 3 blizzards in the space of a month (3 motherfu$*@%@...ugh...) I'm going to express my desire to find the folks that think 'Ice Road Truckers' is good entertainment and personally offer them my pimp hand. It may be nearly frostbitten but it's still strong.
Posted by: Ms. Parker at February 14, 2008 8:06 AM
BSlim-You forgot about the hot Inuit chick on the lam from her no-account drunk ice fisherman husband. She gets rescued by one of the truck drivers, and they end up bumping uglies as the Northern Lights glow in the sky.
THEN comes the giant explosion...
Posted by: Alabamapink at February 14, 2008 8:11 AM
That ad with Miley Cyrus is freaking me out.
I mean, here?
Her?
Posted by: Tannaqui at February 14, 2008 8:39 AM
Can't wait to see the fallen ice trucker fight the sharks with the lasers on its head after falling into the water in that Fox movie.
Posted by: BFFredo at February 14, 2008 9:10 AM
Tannaqui it is an add for one of Pajiba's sister site - Websters is My Bitch. Trust me it isn't a positive Miley Cyrus post
Posted by: Brian at February 14, 2008 9:17 AM
Band of Brothers is the greatest thing ever shown on HBO (yes, including Deadwood and The Wire). We've actually been making our way through the DVDs this week, for maybe the 8th time. If you haven't watched it, you must.
I watched about one minute and forty-two seconds of ice road truckers. I couldn't get into it. I can't imagine a movie being any more interesting. Now, if Mike Rowe was narrating, it'd be a different story.
And....MERRY TEQUILAMAS!
Posted by: Kolby at February 14, 2008 9:31 AM
Haven't been able to watch the trailer for Taken yet, but as the Pajiban with the masochistic affliction that leads me to watch any Jean-Claude Van Damme/Steven Segal/Oliver Grunier/Michael Dudikoff/other 80s action 'star' movie I happen to stumble across, I feel I should point out that in Sudden Death, JCVD wasn't a kick-ass operative, but a retired fire-fighter working as a fire marshall in a hockey arena - the reason for him being able to kick so much ass was, if I remember, rightly, never adequately explained.
Posted by: Dill The Devil at February 14, 2008 9:34 AM
I already saw the trailer for IRT - BSlim had it right with the "Is it cold enuff' for ya.." line, but instead of an exploding wall of ice, they use the Green Goblin truck from "Maximum Overdrive" and it comes flying through a giant wall of flaming television sets...
Oh, and Rob Zombie's driving...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 14, 2008 9:40 AM
Kolby, you said that to deliberately hurt me, didn't you.
Posted by: TK at February 14, 2008 9:41 AM
the reason for him being able to kick so much ass was, if I remember, rightly, never adequately explained.
He took a correspondence course. The same one Clive Owen did that turned him from gun store owner into one-man death machine.
And the Ice Trucking and Seagal threads are eventually going to merge into some discussion of 'Fire Down Below' and god, GOD but that was a horrible eye-gouging abominiation of a movie.
Posted by: twig at February 14, 2008 9:44 AM
It had to be said, TK. You've seen Band of Brothers, right? I mean, I guess, since it's actually a mini-series, both it AND The Wire can be the best, yes?
Posted by: Kolby at February 14, 2008 9:47 AM
" it's directed by Pierre Morel, who also helmed District B13. One can only hope that Neeson engages in some parkour:"
Just for that movie alone, I'll watch anything that man creates.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 14, 2008 9:48 AM
Ah, yes, Kolby...Merry Tequilamas!
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 14, 2008 9:50 AM
Um,.. Ice Road Truckers (the movie) sounds like a Cliffhanger or Vertical Limit. In a truck. With walkie talkies and a driver to be rescued.
"Every Single Thing You Ever Wanted to Know About Hitler."
So true! I watched 20 minutes of 'Hitler and the Occult' and when they got to something about him carrying around a special root (I forgot the name of the thing) I switched it off. Seriously people.
Happy Tequilamas!
Posted by: Amanda47 at February 14, 2008 9:53 AM
Oh I want to see "Taken". It looks like massive amounts of ass-kicking will be handed out freely and I'm a fan of that. Also Liam Neeson is strangely attractive...especially when he's being all calm and scary. Mmmm....marshmallow-giant-scrabble-tiles...
Posted by: joker at February 14, 2008 9:55 AM
Mandrake! It was a freaking mandrake that Hitler supposedly carried around. Oh thank goodness, now I can go back to, uh, work.
Sorry about that. Carry on.
Posted by: Amanda47 at February 14, 2008 10:01 AM
Ice Road Truckers is fascinating television, but the very things that make it good TV viewing will make it a bad movie. There's no way to create a 90-130 minute story that could do anything other than lay an existing "thriller" plot over the concept. In effect, the ice road will be set dressing. Oh, and Nicolas Cage will star. $20 on that.
twig
Shoot 'em Up told us that Owen had been in Special Forces, which is a one-size-fits-all explanation that every movie uses to justify a character's superhuman abilities.
Posted by: alone in the dark at February 14, 2008 10:06 AM
What's scary is that I knew that, Amanda47. I don't even know how.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 14, 2008 10:06 AM
nunchuck skills...computer hacking skills...cage fighting skills....drawing liger skills....
And I am guessing if Mrs. Brown wrote the book it would have a different title. Like "How To Get A Man To Do Everything You Want Him To Do" or "Ouch. My Cooter Hurts" or "101 Things To Do With KY"
Posted by: wsapnin at February 14, 2008 10:08 AM
Thanks for mentioning Roy Scheider, so remembered for his famous line in Jaws, "You're going to need a bigger boat". My favorite role of his is Joe Gideon in "All That Jazz", a semi autobiographical story of choreographer Bob Fosse, who directed. It is full of music and great Bob Fosse dance sequences. Scheider was brilliant in it and was nominated for an Oscar.
Posted by: DJO at February 14, 2008 10:12 AM
Alone, my bad, I must have blinked and missed it. All I remembered was the angst portion of the backstory.
Posted by: twig at February 14, 2008 10:12 AM
Oh Shadows of Dakaron doesn't "The Shadow know everything" ?
or is it "The Shadow knows" ?
Posted by: Amanda47 at February 14, 2008 10:19 AM
Lol...that would be really creepy if that were true.
"Hey, how did you know that? I've never told anybody!"
confused look "I...I don't know?!?!?"
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 14, 2008 10:29 AM
Wow, a site dedicated to the entertainment industry and movies in particular, fails to mention anything about Roy Scheider until now. Even then he merits only a small paragraph.
Ledger died and there was a whole article dedicated to his memory within hours. For shame Pajiba, for shame. Roy deserved more than a passing glance. I think we could have done without "the Hottie & the Nottie" review if you didn't have the time.
"I think we need a bigger boat"
RIP Roy
Posted by: Ted at February 14, 2008 10:32 AM
Not sure if anyone can confirm this, but word is the Spurlock flick ends with a pretty graphic scene of his wife giving birth... in a bathtub?
Is that true? I thought the name was "Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden", not "Scubbing Bubbles - Mold & Mildew Remover (Now With Placenta-Birth-Juice Removing Action!)"
Does he actually find him? That's be pretty fucking funny (although incredibly embarassing for a few people).
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 14, 2008 10:33 AM
I read Angels and Demons and liked it much more than The DaVinci Code despite it's insanely inpossible ending, which I feel was so ridiculous that it did somewhat tarnish the book as a whole. Everything up to the final scene, however, was entertaining and enjoyable. Can't wait to see how much Hollywood fucks it up. BTW, is Tom Hanks and his freaking horrible hairdo starring in this film as well? I would assume so since it's the sequal to The Divinci Code but it could be told as a unrelated story unto itself. Either way, I'll wait for it to comeout on DVD, unless it gets a gleaming review on Pajiba. Enjoying the book, along with the possibility of watching 2 hours of scary haired Hanks, will ruin the film adaption of it for me.
I enjoyed the trailer for Taken, it seems like a decent film, and I LOVE Niam Leeson, so I might actually fork up the $10 to see this one.
Posted by: Pudenda at February 14, 2008 10:47 AM
Happy Tequilamas!
I need to rent Band of Brothers, I have an unhealthy obsession with all things Ron Livingston.
Posted by: Julie at February 14, 2008 10:57 AM
Over on Defamer someone commented about the Ice Road Truckers movie, saying it should be a post-apocalyptic Mad-Max type of thing. I'd probably Netflix it then.
unfortunately I can TOTALLY see Nicolas Cage in it.... ack.
Posted by: nancy at February 14, 2008 10:58 AM
Any Pajeeevan who doesn't recognize 52 Pick-Up as Scheider's best film deserves to get paper cut to death with pages from the script of said film.
RIP Capt. Bridger
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 14, 2008 11:30 AM
History Channel actually alternates between "Everything You Could Possibly Want to Know About Hitler" and "OMG it's the Apocalypse and You Sinners are Going Straight to Hell!!!1!"
If you tune in every other Sunday, you can see a show called "Antichrist: Zero Hour," which is all about how the Antichrist is walking amongst us as we speak, and will soon combine forces with Russia and the European Union to take over Jerusalem. Damn Left Behind readers have totally taken over that network. Although, I will admit that I chuckled when they broke for commercial and a message appeared that said "The Antichrist is brought to you by Lexus."
Posted by: Oh Henry at February 14, 2008 11:36 AM
Julie, if you have never seen Band of Brothers fix that now! Before you do anything else. It is one of the best things HBO has ever been involved with.
Henry, you are forgetting Mega Disaster Extravaganza!! You have Hitler day, Antichrist day and End of the World day. Gunney on Mail Call is rather awesome.
Posted by: Melody at February 14, 2008 11:47 AM
Roy Scheider = All That Jazz= Brilliant. He'll be missed...
Posted by: thirdwave at February 14, 2008 11:48 AM
True, I forgot about Gunney. But I've only seen repeats. I don't think they're making new ones.
Posted by: Oh Henry at February 14, 2008 11:52 AM
Alone, please, please pretty pretty please do not encourage Nicholas Cage's involvement in Ice Truckers. That's just too much suckery to handle. We already know that Hollywood will totally bastardize the movie, but adding Nicholas Cage would be abominable. That's just too much to handle. (My six year old was sick and home from school Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week. During this time, he used his illness, puppy dog eyes and evil child-manipulation/maternal guilt to obtain control of the family room TV, DVD, DVR, and On Demand. Because of this, I was forced to watch freaking Ghost Rider approximately 5 times in a 72 hour period of time. It was like pure torture. If I never see Nick Cage's face again in my lifetime it'll be fine by me!)
To Skittimus, I read an article recently (maybe in Newsweek) about Where in the World Is Osama Bin Laden? and they questioned what the birth scene has to do with the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. Spurlock's response was that the filming of this movie occurred during his wife's pregnancy. (I believe the filming started when she was 2-3 months along, but I could be a little off b/c I read this article months ago) But the graphic birth scene is supposedly one of many scenes and/or discussions of his wife's pregnancy and how it affected his film. I find it strange that he chose to include any of this personal information concerning his wife and her pregnancy at all. Maybe my POV my opinion will change once I view the film in it's entirety, but the cynic in me believes that he pimped his wife and child out to add some "shock value" to his film. Only time will tell...
Posted by: Pudenda at February 14, 2008 11:53 AM
"The Antichrist is brought to you by Lexus."? I'd have thought for sure it would be brought to you by Microsoft. Or maybe Hilton Hotels, since NapVag is obviously a spawn of Satan.
Posted by: CptCrckpot at February 14, 2008 11:58 AM
Melody: I just added it to my ever expanding queue :) I need to catch up on The Wire as well, I recently finished the first season. Ah Omar. How I love your psychotic awesomeness.
Posted by: Julie at February 14, 2008 12:00 PM
As much as it pains me to admit that Kolby is right, Band of Brothers really is amazing. I know people are little WWII'd out these days, but really - it's worth seeing.
"The Antichrist is brought to you by Lexus"... well, duh. I already knew that.
Posted by: TK at February 14, 2008 12:01 PM
Happy VD everyone!
I'm dying to see "Where in the World..." I'm a sucker for gimicky documentaries, well any documentary actually.
Can anyone tell me, was that Gogol Bordello in the trailer?
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 14, 2008 12:10 PM
While youa make a valid point Ted (this was the 1st offical Pajiba mention of the death) it was discussed at length in Monday's Box Office Round Up
Posted by: Brian at February 14, 2008 12:30 PM
Actually, Angels and Demons came out before DaVinci Code, so technically it's a prequel. But not really, it's just the book that was written first between two books with the same leading character. I thought it was really good too, in a long flight/day on the beach sort of way. The end is quite ludicrous though. You really have to suspend disbelief for that one.
I've heard that Tom Hanks, with or without lame hair, will be in this one too.
Posted by: katy at February 14, 2008 12:31 PM
Hmm.. I rather liked Ice Road Truckers. That dude with the 16 children was pretty entertaining. But a movie? Not feelin' it. I'm sure it will involve someone sabotaging another driver just to get ahead in the "Dash for the Cash" in some contrived and implausible way. Yuck.
Posted by: HJ at February 14, 2008 12:54 PM
Liam Neeson makes me moist. But, MAGGIE GRACE. She couldn't even muster up enough talent for a few trailer clips. I mean, is she required to say dad in every line. If I remember correctly her best moment was when she was half naked and silent. But I'll see it anyway, secretly hoping she dies early on, you running into the jungle to save magic Walt.
Posted by: Jas at February 14, 2008 1:15 PM
Any Pajeeevan who doesn't recognize 52 Pick-Up as Scheider's best film deserves to get paper cut to death with pages from the script of said film.
RIP Capt. Bridger
Nope nope nope. The Seven-Ups. Folllowed by Sorceror, and then 52 Pick-Up.
Although, honestly? I never saw the man turn in a bad performance.
Posted by: Jerce at February 14, 2008 1:16 PM
Tequilamas... Man, I'd love to celebrate, but I just can't do it. Tequila-related bender years ago have forever spoiled it for me. And even though I'd be willing to take a shot on my lunch-break in honor of everyone's horrid date stories, I'd have to come back to work smelling of Tequila... Obviously, I could just chain smoke and hope that covers the stink, but I'm on my third day of the patch and I'm pretty sure I'd have a heart attack...
That being said, I'd punch a differently-abled infant in the face for a goddam trip through "Flavor Country"...
There's no harm in simply eating a cigarette, is there? Can I still get the smoky goodness out of chewing it? No? It's gonna be a long fucking weekend...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 14, 2008 2:01 PM
Poor Skittimus. Quitting smoking sucks ass. Eating a cigarette may actually be beneficial in your case. It would probably make you puke, and smoking after puking never sounds good.
Posted by: katy at February 14, 2008 2:13 PM
That being said, I'd punch a differently-abled infant in the face for a goddam trip through "Flavor Country"...
Hee! It's so wrong but feels soooo good.
Posted by: Julie at February 14, 2008 2:18 PM
Skittimus...been there. Sucks the hard one. Stay strong, man. You can do it. Don't recommend eating cigarettes, though. Leaves a foul taste in your mouth, especially after sitting in front of the toilet awhile.
Btw...Tequilamas can be celebrated with substitutions, if you can't get your hands on the real thing. use your poison of choice.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 14, 2008 2:20 PM
Substitutions are accepted? Thank christ! I hereby declare that today will be known as the first official day of Vodkanukkah!!! Huzzah!
What do I get? Sev...no, it's eight days right? WELLALLGODDAMRIGHTTHEN!!!!
(ahem)
Day 1) vodka cranberry
Day 2) vodka gimlet
Day 3) vodka red bull
Day 4) vodka grapefruit
Day 5) vodka martini (dirty Stoli)
Day 6) vodka lemonade
Day 7) vodka vodka (ice-cold)
Day 8) voka bloody-mary - served upon waking up at noon-thirty and accompanied by "Sexy Beast" and "Ghandi"
Day 9) sign up for a liver transplant at the clinic (optional)
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at February 14, 2008 2:38 PM
I would be allll over days one and eight, Skittimus.
Posted by: Julie at February 14, 2008 2:50 PM
Hmmm...interesting....I may have to convert to vodkanukkah....
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at February 14, 2008 2:55 PM
Agreed. Vodkanukkah is a great idea. I need to get on that now.
Posted by: KatyBelle at February 14, 2008 3:21 PM
Nope nope nope. The Seven-Ups. Folllowed by Sorceror, and then 52 Pick-Up.
Although, honestly? I never saw the man turn in a bad performance.
Posted by: Jerce at February 14, 2008 1:16 PM
-------------------------------------------------
*adopts cliche persona from 80's movie black Police Chief*
How dare you, you've gone too far, you are out CONTROL! I'll check on that but, if you're wrong, we are takin' your BADGE! I mean it this time!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 14, 2008 3:32 PM
That picture could have been taken down the street from my house! So much f*cking snow!!
Unrelated:
Did anyone else see the ad for "Asian wives and lovers" on the front page? Am I hallucinating? Has Pajiba been hacked?
Posted by: Agente Provocatrice at February 14, 2008 3:33 PM
Skittimus - I feel you brother, I just quit smoking myself. I'm on week... uh... holy shit, I'm on weeks six! Go fuckin' ME.
Anyway. Be strong. It gets better.
Posted by: TK at February 14, 2008 4:10 PM
Tequilamas is being celebrated as we speak.
Merry Tequilamas/Vodkannukkah!!!
Posted by: IamKateness at February 14, 2008 4:47 PM
This is the time on Pajayva when the word *moist* gets posted.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 14, 2008 5:33 PM

