The Darkness is Nigh. The End is Near. Ark Music Factory Strikes Again.
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The Darkness is Nigh. The End is Near. Ark Music Factory Strikes Again.

By Courtney Enlow | Music | October 15, 2013 | Comments ()


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…I don’t even know. I’m at such a loss.

Remember that time I watched Batman & Robin and everything went wobbly and I nearly had to be institutionalized? This is kind of like that. Less nipples, but a lot like that.

I hope you’re happy, Alison Gold’s parents, who paid a lot of money to make this happen and are probably monsters.

Like…*shakes head to stop the demons screaming* I genuinely believe “Friday” was a fluke, not intended to make the viral splash that it did. And, now, obviously everything that’s come after has been designed for the sole purpose of inciting general YouTube youtubery. But…like…that’s a kid. And I don’t think she’s in on the joke…And there’s a panda…and rainbow noodles…And racist? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM. MY LAPTOP IS DARK AND FULL OF TERRORS. AND I’M FUCKING HUNGRY FOR SOME DAMN CHINESE FOOD.

Why do you have to be like this, internet? Why couldn’t you just be cat videos and pervy chatrooms like the good old days? These are the bad times. The baddest of times. HOLD ME.





Pajiba Love Express
Here's some Daveed Diggs for you. On Daveed Diggs' digs, actually. That man does things with clothes that should not make sense, but are absolutely perfect. (Go Fug Yourself)

Woody Allen has "so moved on" from his daughter's accusations and says he never even thinks about it. He equates her words about him to a bad review he won't read and comments on how wacky it is that Mia Farrow is his mother-in-law. He is the worst. (Celebitchy)

Not The Worst but still very gross: Leonardo DiCaprio and his Pussy Posse Wolf Pack were on the douche prowl in NYC. (Lainey)

Here are 5 under-the-radar shows. I had never even heard of the first two. (Uproxx)

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