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Brittle Bones at Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Singers of All Time / Ms. Mix & Bitch

Music | December 1, 2008 | Comments (59)


I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up, Rolling Stone magazine was my version of the Bible. I’d turn to it religiously to find out about emerging artists, tour dates of my tried and true, and other miscellaneous rock-n-roll, behind-the-scenes, tasty nuggets.

I also really dug the pictures.

That was back in the late ’70s/early ’80s, and then I discovered boys. So I abandoned the magazine, gave up on dating John Taylor from Duran Duran, and proceeded to hump my way through school.


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(Maybe God did me a favor. Uh…eeeww.)

If I ever harbored any residual guilt over my abandonment, it was quickly assuaged the other day when I grabbed the latest copy of Rolling Stone and perused its “100 Greatest Singers of All Times” piece. Instantly, I felt like that guy on the hit show, “Life on Mars” because I felt stuck in 1973 during the whole friggin’ read.

Hey You! Aging, baby boomer staff writers with the dwindling sex drives and 401(k)s: Woodstock is over, and Studio 54 has been closed for longer than Ian Schraeger has had a lisp, so could you do the time-warp with me and become a relevant music publication again?

Rolling Stone must have thought they were being cool and up front when they published 25 ballots from rock legends. I hate to break this to you, kitten, but it only made the magazine — and its participants — look like a bunch of sycophants. Or raging, egomaniacal narcissists — you take your pick.

Want some proof?

• Only 11% of their list had artists with careers begun after the Sixties and Seventies.

• Only 23% of those listed are women, and the majority of them are rhythm and blues or soul singers.

• Somehow, Steve Winwood (#33) and Bob Dylan (#7 — a brilliant songwriter, but never considered a talented singer) made it on the list, but neither Chris Cornell, (formerly of Soundgarden and Audioslave fame), Beck, Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam or Evan Dando from The Lemonheads even cracks the Top 100.

• While they’re still digging up women like Dusty Springfield (#35) and Mavis Staples (#56) for slots on the Rolling Stone play card, they don’t even think to include amazing vocalists such as Alison Moyet from Yaz, Ann Wilson from Heart (and she was on the fucking panel!) Harriet Wheeler from The Sundays, PJ Harvey, Pat Benatar, Fiona Apple, or Johnette Napolitano from Concrete Blonde.

• On a personal note, if you’re going to include the likes of Etta James and Nina Simone on your list, then do me and all jazz and blues lovers a favor and remember the Queen of the Torch Song, Ms. Billie Holiday. Jesus, there was even a movie made about her life in 1972, called Lady Sings the Blues, with Ms. Ross. That alone should warrant your cataract-clouded attention.

On a lighter note, them darn celebrity folk sure is funny. After studying each of the 25 ballots, here’s some tidbits I thought you’d find interesting:

• On Courtney Love’s ballot, she initially put Kurt Cobain at #1 and herself at #2 — then crossed both out with the furor of an OCD kid off the meds and then put herself at #1 and her old man at #2.
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(Well then, no one will be accusing you of perpetuating the family legacy Priscilla Presley style, Ms… um… Love.)

• One of James Blunt’s top choices was none other than Mr. Barry Gibb.
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(I guess those falsetto guys really stick together.)

• Maynard James Keenan of Tool left all the slots blank except for his name at the top spot.
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(Hmm, the band name fits quite nicely here.)

• David Crosby of Crosby, Stills, & Nash was the most gendered balanced ballot, with … guess-who ranked topsy amongst the women? (wait for it…wait for it)…yep you guessed it… Melissa Etheridge.
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(Wow, Melis… between the sperm donation and the nomination, you owe David, like, big time.)

• Guess what Iggy Pop, James Hetfield of Metallica, and Merle Haggard have in common (besides the desperate need for a chemical peel)?
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(They all didn’t put one woman on their ballots — not even Aretha Franklin. And honey, they all included Aretha.)

• Keith Richards from The Rolling Stones, nominated himself but not Mick. Whassup with that?
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(I sense tension)

Anyhoo, my point to all of this is: friends don’t let friends get away with antiquated musical tastes. I guess Rolling Stone is such an institution in the industry that no one wants to reveal that the Emperor has no groove no more. Consider this your musical intervention, Senior staff (yeah, I’m talking to YOU, Jann, Will, Eric, Jason (and your other brother Jason), Nathan and John). And for Christ sakes, promote some women beyond the assistant/associate editor level already. They’re tired of you Viagra-pumping-pimps taking cred for all their creative juices.

MixwitMixwit make a mixtapeMixwit mixtapes

PS Pajibers: This mix is by no means in order or comprehensive…just a slice of what my Greatest Singers of All Time List Would Look Like.
1. Kate Bush - Love and Anger
2. Johnette Napolitano & Danny Lohner - The Scientist
3. Billie Holiday - Autumn in New York
4. Rufus And Chaka Khan - Tell Me Somthing Good
5. Sade - Is It a Crime
6. Pat Benatar - Heartbreaker
7. Heart - Barracuda
8. Eddie Vedder & The Million Dollar Bashers - All Along The Watchtower
9. Jane’s Addiction - Mountain Song
10. Beck With The Flaming Lips - Devil’s haircut
11. The Cure - Just Like Heaven
12. Yaz - Situation
13. Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence
14. The Sundays - Can’t Be Sure
15. Fiona Apple - Sullen Girl
16. Poe - Angry Johnny - No K Version
17. Chris Cornell - Redemption Song
18. David Bowie - China Girl
19. Blondie - Rapture
20. Ani DiFranco - Both Hands

Ms. Mix & Bitch offers free advice and kick-ass music mixes to match your miseries at Mix Tape Therapy. Outside of cyberspace, she uses her superpowers to give good talk to other dysfunctional bloggers and to parents of really annoying children.


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Comments

I personally think the best singer ever is John Lennon, he sounds like an angel.

My god, Rolling Stone needs to be replaced with something much more modern that has a respect for the past. Plus, they also talk about politics too much for a music magazine. Which is stupid, because all of their political columns are exactly the same, pages of leftist bullshit.

Posted by: George at December 1, 2008 5:51 PM

Rolling Stone magazine sucks. Rolling Stone magazine has ALWAYS sucked. Rolling Stone magazine WILL ALWAYS suck. The End.

Posted by: Dano at December 1, 2008 5:53 PM

Also, your list sucks. Depeche Mode? Yaz? It must be catching because now Pajiba sucks.

Posted by: Dano at December 1, 2008 5:56 PM

Lyle Lovett.

Posted by: Lucas at December 1, 2008 6:06 PM

Fuck Rolling Stone, man... They're the PETA of music journalism.

Posted by: Sofía at December 1, 2008 6:08 PM

Courtney Love needs to pull a Cobain. Now.

Where's the Metal? I'm not a great big metal fan but shit. Bruce Dickinson anyone?

Also, I agree with Keith, Mick can't sing for shit.

Posted by: admin at December 1, 2008 6:11 PM

Dano: That list is pretty obviously a joke. Chris Cornell's version of Redemption Song? Yaz? Pat Benatar? Heart? Nobody makes a list like that without giggling the whole way through.

Posted by: notachance at December 1, 2008 6:14 PM

Bob Dylan!? Seriously?

The people that compiled this list don't know shit about fuck.

Posted by: firedmyass at December 1, 2008 6:17 PM

I agree that the list was too old and too masculine. I would keep most in the top 10, but add Jim James from My Morning Jacket, Tori Amos, Neko Case, Kim Gordon, Mike Ness, Karen O, and Morrissey ( I know he's a jackass, but he can sing) to the list.

Posted by: Agente Provocatrice at December 1, 2008 6:19 PM

That's one hoary list, all right. Among the classics, I fully endorse Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding, Howlin' Wolf, and Patsy Cline. Major omissions are Aimee Mann, kd lang, and, as a big eff you to pretty much everybody, Mark E. Smith.

Posted by: sansho1 at December 1, 2008 6:22 PM

Well if we're looking for female singers, was Janis fucking Joplin on anybody's list?

Agree with the author about Moyet in Yaz. Situation is one of my favorites.

If I weren't at work I could go on, but generally speaking I don't agree with Rolling Stone or the author.

Posted by: Eep at December 1, 2008 6:23 PM

Rolling Stone has become too concerned with political issues and leaves music for the quiet political times. Sort of like MTV with videos.

Two missing singers: Geoff Tate (Queensryche) and Ronnie James Dio, though Dio had a ballot.

I agree with Kate Bush and Benatar from your list but that is about it.

Posted by: richmac at December 1, 2008 6:28 PM

Jarvis Cocker and Roger Daltrey. The end.

Posted by: Tim at December 1, 2008 6:28 PM

There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything wrong with Barry Gibb.

And I got nothin
And I got nothin to be guilty of

I'd pick "A Certain Someone" for The Sundays myself.

Posted by: Jay at December 1, 2008 6:28 PM

should have been MTV without videos, ugh.

Posted by: richmac at December 1, 2008 6:30 PM

what no tori amos on either list? really?

Posted by: sara at December 1, 2008 6:37 PM

I agree it's not the best list in the world, but come on, it's a hell of a lot better than their list of the best guitarists. And if you read their explanatory pages on why some artists made it and some artists didn't, Dylan actually fits their criteria (more focused on emotional believability and movement than on born skill). Sure, I would have re-arranged the list a bit, put Thom Yorke a lot higher, maybe dropped some people here or there, but I thought it was a solid list overall.

And you bash people for being sexist, but your top 7 are all either women or duets where women are the lead. Sexism works both ways. And no way is Chaka Kahn better than Aretha Franklin.

And the list of their voting panels includes people of a wide age range. So your argument of oldsters keeping the young people down is inaccurate and invalid.

Ultimately, I hope people will take this list for what it is: 100 good musicians who everyone should at least listen to at some point in their lives. If you've got a different opinion, say so. But don't scream down an institution as tried and true as Rolling Stone magazine because you don't like one of their lists. That's childish.

Posted by: Audiosuede at December 1, 2008 6:44 PM

Mariah freakin' Carey makes the list, but Margoh-god-my-panties-are-melting Timmins does not? Ugh, good grief.

Aha, Michael Stipe isn't on this list. Now I get it--this is a joke list. Very funny, Rolling Stone. Very funny.

Posted by: meaux at December 1, 2008 6:45 PM

It's Maynard JAMES Keenan and I would give my boyfriend's left nut if it meant he would sing to me EVERY night. siiiiiggghhh.

Posted by: BizzyBees at December 1, 2008 6:45 PM

Oh, and notachance, Morrissey did make the Rolling Stone list.

Posted by: Audiosuede at December 1, 2008 6:46 PM

Dear Pajiba Music,

You are unnecessary and terrible.

Love,
Deniz

Posted by: Deniz at December 1, 2008 6:48 PM

Attn: Audiosuede

Rolling Stone sucks because people like Britney Spears routinely appears on the cover of their lame-ass non-relevant shit stain of a magazine.

Posted by: Dano at December 1, 2008 7:02 PM

I didn't read the Dylan article. Because it was written by Bono. By Bono. I could feel the doucheitude radiate off the page. I had to turn away lest I start wearing ridiculously tinted glasses

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 1, 2008 7:07 PM

Jeff Buckley and Caleb Followill could sing anything and I would listen.

Posted by: CAM at December 1, 2008 7:33 PM

Agente, I love Social D with a fiery passion, and I shook his hand at the greatest concert ever (Neil Young/Crazy Horse, Sonic Youth, Social D), but ... Mike Ness has about a three-note range.

PJ Harvey kicks Pat Benatar's ass sideways and backwards. And Chrissie (notably absent from your list, Ms. M&B) slays them both.

Posted by: bucdaddy at December 1, 2008 8:05 PM

Rolling Stone pfffffffffffffffft, that's like, MTV.


Nobody gives a shit what they think. FACT, when my new world order arises they shall be the first ones lined-up against a wall...followed by the Pajiba "staff." Or maybe they'll be lined-up against a wall right next to it...if we have that much space...or I'll line those up first and then line up the others...or..

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 1, 2008 8:11 PM

Oh, I don't see Freddie Mercury on your list either. Or Plant, who is pretty much the prototype hard-blues-rock singer. Good call on Perry Farrell, tho.

Posted by: bucdaddy at December 1, 2008 8:11 PM

Maynard? They asked Maynard to make a list? You have got to be kidding. I love Maynard. He is so anti-establishment that I am, in no way, surprised that his list was blank, except for him.

Was Trent on this list?

Posted by: Melody at December 1, 2008 9:24 PM

Paul McCartney and Freddie Mercury top my list, but then again, I'm also stuck in the '60s and '70s (but I'm a 21 year old female, not a 50 year old male, so... points for that?)

Posted by: dsbs at December 1, 2008 9:55 PM

Trust me when I tell you that Ms. M&B's list was a tongue-in-cheek compilation.

You just have to figure out which ones are real and which ones are trickery and chicanery.

Mr. Mix & Bitch

Posted by: David at December 1, 2008 10:21 PM

God I hope you're right. This list is so many levels of terrible.

Posted by: Nate at December 1, 2008 11:02 PM

I'm her husband, so yeah, I'm pretty sure I've got this one pegged.

You're lucky she didn't put Barry Manilow or Neil Diamond on there.

Posted by: David at December 1, 2008 11:56 PM

Have you all ever READ her fuckin' blog? She doesn't take too much seriously. Give me a break.

Posted by: Jon at December 2, 2008 12:13 AM

So I wanna know. If Ms. BItch hates Rolling Stone, then what music mag does she like? I don't even read print anymore. I get my music info online.

Posted by: Jenna at December 2, 2008 12:17 AM

Rolling Stone sucks balls.

Joey Ramone.

Posted by: Mattfactor at December 2, 2008 12:17 AM

Johnette Napolitano from Concrete Blonde.

Yay for the Concrete Blonde shout out! They were really my first favorite band ever. The first band who got me into music.

I was very much a late bloomer when it came to music. I don't think I bought my first tape until I was 16 years old (Blaze of Glory - The Young Guns 2 soundtrack) - and really didn't develop any individual musical tastes until I was 18 or so.

Posted by: ajax19 at December 2, 2008 12:20 AM

Again, I'll be glad to take my beloved MJB off the list to make room for the likes of Billie Holiday. I'm sure Ms. Blige would agree.

Posted by: ciji at December 2, 2008 1:06 AM

Keep in mind that the Rolling Stone folks had nothing to do with the final result of the list. All of it was a result of handing ballots to hundreds of legendary artists, writers, producers, etc.

Posted by: Greg at December 2, 2008 1:20 AM

OK, here's the thing: I'm not a Celine Dion fan - I agree with those who argue that 90 % of her discography could be the companion to a Danielle Steel novel but the woman can sing. In fact, she can do practically anything with her voice and most of the time she does just that and, instead of mere technical accuracy, she clearly puts real passion and conviction into her performances. So, to the geriatric powers that be over at Rolling Stone, if you're going to put Bob Dylan on #7, at least have the balls to admit that we're not talking about singing here at all. Seriously.

Posted by: Linguo at December 2, 2008 6:17 AM

Why isn't Frank Sinatra on this list? And leaving Billie Holiday out is a sin.

Oh, and I love how none of the singers sing in a language that isn't English.

Where the FUCK is Astrud Gilberto? Or Charles Aznavour? Or Luis Miguel? How about Edith fucking Piaf?

They should specify the criteria in which they based their choices on and go ahead and say "singers we used to publish when we were a respectable magazine. Kinda."

Posted by: Sofía at December 2, 2008 7:29 AM

The PETA of music jornalism? That may be my favorite quote ever. I shall be using it and claiming it as my own.

*evil laugh*

Posted by: Park at December 2, 2008 10:07 AM

The PETA of music journalism? That may be my favorite quote ever. I shall be using it and claiming it as my own.

*evil laugh*

Posted by: Park at December 2, 2008 10:12 AM

You may use it, Park.

Posted by: Sofía at December 2, 2008 10:25 AM

Admin

Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Posted by: Jim at December 2, 2008 11:30 AM

Bono, love your band, love your voice. I, however, don't ever want to see you ranked in a top 100 voices behind Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, or, for that matter, Steve Perry ever again.

Posted by: samantha t at December 2, 2008 1:47 PM

Ms. Mix & Bitch did say her list was in no particular order.

I have got to read the ballots and see who voted for Steve motherfucking Perry. And no Chris Cornell? No Chris Cornell! Impossible. Are we in Bizarro world?

Posted by: shelleyh at December 2, 2008 4:38 PM

At the risk of sounding like one of the old farts you've uncovered on the RS editorial staff, I find that the reason that new bands are not represented in lists like these is not necessarily because they aren't on the same level artistically. They may well be. But, I think it has something to do with how dull they are as people, as public figures. If Iggy Pop and some more recent singer is in competition with each other for 'best of all time", I think it would be foolish to discount the fact that even if Iggy is brushing the end of his 50s, he'll beat out the younger singer, because he's the more compelling figure. This is showbiz, after all. In the land of American Idol singing-as-sporting-event, and with carefully controlled media training undergone by the modern rock star, something of this x-factor has been lost. It could also be that older rock musicians have time on their side, which makes them more mythical. But, my gut tells me it's that more modern artist, with some exceptions, just aren't as interesting to a mass audience. And a mass audience is how these guys pay their bills

To the point that RS is a declining institution, I submit that all North American music rags suck. I've not found one to even come close to, say, MOJO magazine out of Britain. Even that one is in decline, according to many, for the very reasons you've cited here. But, at least with MOJO, you get well-written stories about bands which show off the personalities of the musicians and how the band stands within the context of newer acts. The thing is, the demographics of these rags are aimed at those to whom they can get the most bang for their advertising buck. And for Spin, Blender, and indeed Rolling Stone, this seems to be the focal point, along with really unimaginative lists to use as filler between ads.

Ultimately for me, music journalism is best served by bloggers. If you want a more varied list that doesn't rely on a canonical approach, than you will have come to the right place with music bloggers. If the RS list reflects antiquated musical tastes, than it also represents a medium with a fast approaching sell-by date.

Posted by: Rob J at December 2, 2008 5:01 PM

Rob J - I hear you. I am absolutely one to defer to my elders. That said, no Fiona Apple? No Rufus Wainwright?

Posted by: samantha t at December 2, 2008 5:10 PM

@samantha. "defer to my elders". Ouch. I guess I deserved that! :)

I haven't seen the whole list myself. For me, choosing the best singer of all time has more to do with the emotional connections you feel to the voices involved, not so much the technique.

Boringly perhaps, the Beatles as a singing unit would all get my vote - because when I hear those voices something warm and fuzzy stirs inside me. Elvis Costello gets my vote too. And Neil Finn. Oh, and Gladys Knight. These voices feel like home to me.

Posted by: Rob J at December 2, 2008 6:31 PM

@samantha. "defer to my elders". Ouch. I guess I deserved that! :)

I haven't seen the whole list myself. For me, choosing the best singer of all time has more to do with the emotional connections you feel to the voices involved, not so much the technique.

Boringly perhaps, the Beatles as a singing unit would all get my vote - because when I hear those voices something warm and fuzzy stirs inside me. Elvis Costello gets my vote too. And Neil Finn. Oh, and Gladys Knight. These voices feel like home to me.

Posted by: Rob J at December 2, 2008 6:32 PM

I would pay to listen to Harriet Wheeler singing FDA Regulations. Right the EF on I would.

Posted by: Stacy D at December 2, 2008 8:08 PM

Rob J - I meant I defer to the elders of music, not you! Very funny misunderstanding.

I agree re: The Beatles. People who claim they don't like any of their music puzzle me.

Posted by: samantha t at December 2, 2008 8:28 PM

No Ann Wilson or PJ Harvey? That's a fucking crime.
Where's Nick Cave?

Posted by: alison Lang at December 2, 2008 9:13 PM

Two notable omissions:
Corin Tucker
Regine Chassagne (though of course she sings many of her songs for The Arcade Fire in French, so if we're going by Sofia's reasoning, this makes sense--infuriating sense).

Posted by: Genevieve at December 2, 2008 9:52 PM

i know i'm late to the party (damn you, corporate i.t. world!), but i have to say, it's astonishing that chrissie hynde is nowhere to be found, either in the pajiba review or the comments. how can that be?

wait...i see "chrissie" once. that's it?

Posted by: matty blue at December 3, 2008 8:35 AM

To each their own

= The music reviewers nightmare.

Posted by: Audiosuede at December 3, 2008 1:22 PM

We can agree that Rolling Stone hasn't been credible for a while. If I had my way (which should be all the time) my top 5 would be...

1) Jim James- My Morning Jacket, my favorite band.
2) Hector Lavoe- on the list of sacred Puerto Ricans, that if you talk shit about you will likely get cut.
3) Charles Aznavour- don't understand a word of French, but the man can sing.
4) Cee-lo from Gnarls Barkley- Hear me out. The retro soul on an acid trip sound is very underrated. He's this generation's Al Green. Yeah I said it.
5) Georgia Hubley- from Yo La Tengo. She can sing so sweetly about arson, almost makes you forget it's a song about burning down Tony Orlando's house.

Posted by: Porkchop at December 3, 2008 1:29 PM

Porkchop, you are officially on my cool list as well. I have nothing but love for Cee-Lo; if one listens to his solo stuff, it's even more apparent how gifted he is.

Posted by: TK at December 3, 2008 1:32 PM

Interesting observation: the female singers on the list are far less likely to have men inspired by them listed than the male singers on the list are to have women inspired by them.

Posted by: samantha t at December 3, 2008 5:01 PM