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February 16, 2009 |

By TK Burton | Music | February 16, 2009 |

Well, last week was something of a nightmare week for music news… we don’t have much good news, but at least it’s fun news, and sometimes, that’s good enough, right? Right.

Boatband.jpgU2 will be the musical guest on “Late Night with David Letterman” for a week straight beginning on Monday, March 2. The week-long stint coincides with the release of their new album No Line on the Horizon on March 3rd. And if my theory holds true, which is each passing decade makes a worse U2 than the last, then this one will really suck. And now that I mentioned that, I must also mention that on my personal blog I stated the following: “U2 circa 1980-1989 is my favorite band of all time. This means all the shitty music they’ve made since then trumps the fact that they made such amazing music in that time period.” Some people seemed confused by this. I’m simply stating that I really enjoy U2 from the 80’s. They made some good stuff in the 90’s as well, but I don’t like it as much as the 80’s and therefore it is incomparable. And as for the new millenium? I can’t even mention that stuff in the same paragraph it’s so bad. If you can’t wrap your brain around that, you probably shouldn’t read my personal blog. End rant.

simonandgarfunkel.jpgIn news that probably has my dad delirious with joy, Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel did a couple of concerts at New York’s Beacon Theatre this past weekend. From what I can tell, despite looking a little raggedy, the pair can still light up the room, which should come as no surprise. Simon did double duty, also doing a solo set that led the no doubt rapt audience through a minor tour of his history, including touching on some of his more obscure stuff. This, of course, gives me an excuse to post this little bit of awesome:

Can I just say that I love Paul Simon? Always have, always will.

mooreadams.jpgIn WHAT THE FUCK news, Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore are engaged. When I first read that headline I had to make sure the news and I were talking about the same Ryan Adams. You mean that moody-ass grouch is getting married to a former pop princess? And don’t even come to me with any BS about Mandy Moore being a credible musician in more recent years. I’ve heard it all, and you will never convince me (ed. note — Goddamnit, why does everyone hate on Mandy Moore? She’s got a great voice, she was great on Scrubs and How I Met Your Mother, and she’s stunning. Aw, cram it in your collective cramholes. —TK). I give this engagement six months and I’d even bet actual money that they don’t actually get married.

slipknot.jpgGoofy-ass concerts continue to storm the nation, the newest being the Rock on the Range festival, which will feature Korn, Slipknot, Alice In Chains, and our fearless leader Rowles’s favorite, Motley fuckin’ Crue. Jesus, that read like a study in irrelevancy. With the possible exception of Slipknot, who still crank out some amusing metal (2008’s All Hope Is Gone was a solid effort), all of those bands are waaaaay past their prime. Fuck, Layne Staley died. I’d like to issue a ruling on this one: If your band is renowned primarily for it’s lead singer, and that lead singer dies, any subsequent band formation is required to get a new name. Just because Jerry Cantrell is still there does not mean you can keep on calling yourselves Alice in Chains. Just pick a new name, OK? And don’t even get me started on the new Misfits outfit. In any event, this particular shitshow will be on May 16-17 in Columbus, Ohio. Sean? I demand that you attend. Make it happen.

Points for showmanship.

chrisbrown.jpgChris Brown allegedly beat up and choked Rihanna the night before The Grammys last week and left her on the side of the road. Innocent until proven guilty, right? Sure, I guess. But my two cents are that if it is true, Chris Brown better watch his back because Rhianna’s crazy fans will be waiting for him in dark alleys with some umbrella-ella-ellas! Ok, that was fucking lame and I’m sure karma will repay me severely for even typing it. For real though, if this is true someone needs to fuck his shit up. Any volunteers? Oh, and Rihanna says that apparently he’s knocked her around before.

rocktherabbit.jpgSo clearly , I stopped paying attention to Playboy a long time ago, since you can see actual porn pretty much for free just about anywhere, and I’m not particularly interested in women so airbrushed that they look like they’re made out of silly putty. But apparently a couple of years ago, Playboy started courting bands to design a series of bunny-logo-inspired t-shirts for a series called Rock The Rabbit, and a portion of the proceeds go to charity. What makes this cross the line from “mildly interesting” to “absolutely friggin’ bizarre” is the lineup of bands that are designing the shirts — this year they’ll feature shirts designed by the likes of Diplo, Röyksopp, the Kooks, Jackson Swinton, Jay Reatard, Kenan Bell, Pharrell Williams, Lady Sovereign, MGMT, Midnight Juggernauts, Jay Reatard, Mötley Crüe (again with the fucking Crue!), Perry Farrell, Q-Tip, and The Wedding Present, just to name a few. What the hell? That’s easily the weirdest list I’ve ever seen. Anyway, they can be found at the somewhatNSFW-ish site, The Bunny Store. I admit, I kind of love the Daft Punk one… though I’d never wear it.

madonna.jpgFeel free to file this under “You’ve gotta be shitting me. No, seriously, you’re messing with me, right?” World famous baby-stealer, the divalicious, faux-Brit-accented Madonna has been crowned the top musical moneymaker of 2008 by Billboard. It’s even stranger when you consider that it’s common knowledge that Madonna was replaced with a cyborg six years ago. Anyway, apparently when she’s not busy humping steroid abusers (ah, schadenfreude), Ms. Ciccone was busy netting a mind-boggling $242 million last year. Dollars. 242 million of them. Madonna. I mean… really? Really, world? That’s who you’re spending your money on? Madonna? That’s it. It’s official. I want off this goddamn planet. These are the reasons I’m planning a zombie apocalypse, people.

Here’s your new Monday Afternoon Playlist of what we’re currently addicted to. As you can see, everyone is feeling pretty bossy today.

Felicia: I’m currently listening to: “Sleepyhead,” by Passion Pit. This new Massachusetts band’s album Chunk of Change is a little rough around the edges, but “Sleepyhead” brings tinges of Indian music sure to make you shake your shit.

ShepRitz: Ween’s “Friends” from The Friends EP. After you get by the “Oh My God!” laughs that all Ween style-parodies evokes, you are left in awe and amazement that the song is actually fantastic. Euro-Dance-Techno was one format untouched by Ween before they released the EP. The title track is so insanely catchy that it sticks in your head for days afterwards with its club-driving beat, synthesized melody, echoing vocals and swirling reverb. Meant to be a hold over before La Cucaracha was released, the 5 song EP turned out to be leagues above the album in quality. The song “Friends” makes for a great example, as it appears on both the album and EP. On the album, it is a slowed down disappointment, devoid of the important hooks and electronic effects that make the song great. Go get this EP.

Christian: The Lonely Island, “Who Said We’re Wack?” from Incredibad. I can’t help it. The infectiously hilarious minds of Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone have been filling my ears with delicious, foul-mouthed joy this week, particularly the unstoppable “I’m On A Boat” and the album-opener “Who Said We’re Wack?”. Seriously, GET THIS ALBUM!

TK: Big Bear. I caught these guys live on Friday when they opened for Warship and Goblin Cock on Friday — after they finished, the sparse audience was a stunned mixture of enraptured and baffled/annoyed. They’re a fascinating band, technically very skilled (with some really wonky, riveting guitar work), with the unusual inclusion of a keyboard to go with their strange, art-noise-punk/hardcore sound. Their lyrics read like a deranged T.S. Eliot, and none of the tracks on their eponymous album have names — they may well be too recondite for their own good, but damn if I didn’t run home and track down the album. Even more impressive is their tiny, pixie of a lead singer who screams out their intense lyrics with raw power. It’s likely not for everyone, but they’ve sure as hell got me paying attention. This is, um, well… “Track #1.” Download more at their website, if you like what you hear.

Caspar: After hearing of the death of Blossom Dearie this week, I’ve been listening to her music again quite a lot recently - specifically the album Give Him The Ooh-La-La (on which I always skip the infuriating title track). On “I Walk A Little Faster”, she is so affecting — her singing is beautiful, with a lovely trembling sadness to it, and her piano-playing is bold and steady as a counterpoint to her frail vocals. Beautiful.

Sean: “We Are Rockstars,” by Does It Offend You, Yeah? from the album You Have No Idea What You’re Getting Yourself Into. After suffering through a lot of ill-advised and boring music choices this week, I needed something with a little edge. This album has been rocking my face off.

Chris: “Feel.Love.Thinking.Of” by Faunts from Feel.Love.Thinking.Of: Irresistible dream-pop from Canada, as if that country wasn’t brimming with enough awe-inspiring artists already. It’s quiet, pretty, and still suspenseful and eerie sounding.

This week, the number one album is… The Fray? Um… yay for banal, churned-out-by-assembly-line sensitive sap-rock (h/t to Mrs. TK for that phrase). Ah well. In related news, Taylor Swift was recently horribly mauled by jaguars.

TK and Felicia have recently joined forces to rule the universe and rock your faces off. Both of them have gotten sick of their respective climes, and this week you’ll find them in the Caribbean and Las Vegas… respectively.

Pajiba Music

The Dead, The Washed-Up, and Playboy Bunnies

Music News / TK & Felicia

Music | February 16, 2009 |

TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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