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Black Eyed Peas - The E.N.D. / Chris Polley

Music | July 1, 2009 | Comments (24)


black_eyed_peas_the_end_front.pngBlack Eyed Peas
The E.N.D.
[Interscope]

Before writing this review, I had only a bare-bones working knowledge of the Black Eyed Peas: they have been insipid pop stars for a while, but back in the day may have been a legitimate and respectable hip hop group, and their leading man appeared “via hologram” with Wolf Blitzer during the 2008 presidential election coverage. However, as they have now officially released their third album featuring radio singles that numb the mind and corrode the soul, that whole legitimate/respectable past thing has seemed like a hologram, or illusion, in and of itself. As a preliminary measure, I needed to verify the inkling in my memory that the outfit used to A) make hip hop music (as they surely don’t anymore), and B) that said hip hop was intelligible, substantive, and/or not terrible. I turned to AllMusic.com to get a basic rundown on the group’s discography, and as I pressed “Search” after typing in “Black Eyed Peas”, I was greeted with a screen that read, “No Results Found.”

For a solid thirty seconds I seriously pondered the possibility that indeed the Black Eyed Peas did not only not exist in the AllMusic database, but they did not exist. Period. That my mind had been conjuring them up for the past eight or so years that they have infiltrated my being, Fight Club style, was not completely unreasonable to me for a brief time. And for a flash that was so short yet so immensely pleasurable, before I regained my sanity and simply refreshed the page, I felt free. No longer would I have to pretend I live in a world where songs like “Let’s Get It Started” (originally recorded as “Let’s Get Retarded”) or “My Humps” conquer the airwaves. If it wasn’t just a common Internet glitch, the sudden disappearance of Black Eyed Peas from my consciousness could have meant that there was not only hope for the music industry or for the children that said industry controls, but it would have meant there was still hope for this cold and sterile planet of eternal sadness called Earth. My life would have suddenly switched to slow motion, the sun would have grown brighter than it ever had before, flowers would have bloomed out of every concrete crevice, and an orchestra of happiness would have flooded through my veins, causing me to smile for the first time in years.

I should have never pressed refresh. Because now here I am, struggling to make it through track 15 of 17 on the LA foursome’s fourth album, The E.N.D., in order to live up to the common courtesy of listening to an artist’s entire record before relating the group’s existence to a state of never ending apocalypse. And this is sad, because as I took a break midway through enduring their latest to revisit the first two Peas albums, 1998’s Behind The Front and 2000’s Bridging The Gap, it turns out that indeed they (minus Fergie, who didn’t join up until 2003’s historically idiotically titled Elephunk) used to make hip hop music that was not terrible. The adjective “good” is up for debate, but not terrible surely it was. In fact, a lyric that is all too indicative of the pop music industry as a whole sticks out like a sore thumb from the debut disc: “We don’t use dollars to represent / We just use our innocence and talent.” The sell-out aspect is a little played out, obvious, and downright unsolvable, so we’ll just leave that to speak for itself, but the key word here I think is “innocence.” Because that’s exactly what these two albums sound like. The trio didn’t exactly craft groundbreaking rhymes or beats, but they had a very clear, idealistic, and honorable mission: to use the creation of music as a way of questioning, celebrating, and teaching decent ways of living.

Positive-leaning rap acts both of previous decades (De La Soul) and of today (Lupe Fiasco) have recently seen a resurgence in admiration after being ostracized for too long for lacking the bravado or machismo the genre had become accustomed to (everyone from Sean Combs to Curtis Jackson is guilty as charged), which is what honestly frustrates me most about Black Eyed Peas’ continued path into meaningless party anthems. Proportionally, I’m infinitely appreciative they went this direction instead of the alternative (and honestly I just wouldn’t buy Will.i.am using the word “straps” seriously, and neither would the rest of the world), but it pissed me off because it’s safe. It’s the celebrating part without the thinking part. A celebration should occur after work has been done, after fights have been fought. Parties where the most intelligent thing said during the course of a DJ’s set is “we are the now generation” do not go on and on forever while the quality of life deteriorates for so many all around the world. Hip hop and even music as a whole may not be able to change the world, but they said themselves: they were innocent, and it’s the innocent people that make us think. It’s the innocents whose idealism influences us to do something rather than just sit and watch a Target commercial where idiots in sunglasses dance around singing about how tonight’s going to be a good night.

But going back to that original lyric, it wasn’t just innocence they claimed that made them what they were instead of cash and fancy clothes. It was talent. And while the beats of Peas albums from the past were as muddled and unassuming as they were playful and joyful, I can’t help but think that as their minds remain stagnantly unused in their lyrics, some songs on The E.N.D. (and it kind of pains me to admit this) have some of the most infectious melodies on Top 40 radio today. I want to stress the word “some” here because like mentioned earlier, this is a bear of an album to get through. And it might be nice to get your money’s worth by getting over 70 minutes of music for one CD, but it’s definitely not worth it when aside from the lyrical inanity, only about thirty-five of those minutes have strong hooks. Especially when it’s a pop act for crying out loud. That said, the high points are admittedly enjoyable a purely aesthetic level. The Peas have jumped on the Autotune bandwagon, but they manage to utilize it with a kind of smooth excess on “Rock That Body” and a sparingly effective amount on the slow-burning “Alive”. Fergie even gets a little MJ-esque yelping going on in “Missing You” that is as aurally rewarding as it is morally problematic to enjoy something that has emanated from the woman’s mouth.

All this surely does not make up for tracks like “Ring-a-ling”, which contains the lyrical gem “You don’t wanna have sex with me? / Then why you keep textin’ me?” on top of a ADD-swirling synth bed, or “Now Generation”, which does not only have an odious harmonica spurting through the speakers, but articulates “Facebook is that new place / dip diving socializing I’ll be out in cyberspace”. These two songs are the most blatant offenders, as others on the record not mentioned thus far merely sit there limping along innocuously, but not nearly as much as the band’s insistence on blanket statements of ignorance and partying. The album’s acronymic title stands for “Energy Never Dies” and that’s probably true, because no matter how many valueless sounds they pump out into the pop culture ether, they seem to always be enthusiastic about their product.

Chris Polley teaches high school English, often with his hair disheveled and a glint of crazy in his eye, in the Midwest’s greatest city, Minneapolis. He rambles on and conducts discourse with friends and strangers about the horrific beast that is pop culture over at The Blogulator.


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Comments

I remember hearing Boom Boom Pow for the first time and dying a little on the inside, which is pretty much my general reaction whenever I hear that they're making another album. Kill me now, please.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at July 1, 2009 12:20 PM

I got that boom boom style
Them chickens jackin' my style

FERGIE SHUT UP.

I'm so 2008, you're so 2000-and-late.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Posted by: Snath at July 1, 2009 12:41 PM

Hey, I like "Let's Get Retarded." You shut up, just shut up.

Posted by: SaBrina at July 1, 2009 12:55 PM

Let's loot at a sample of their genius!!!

"...I like that boom boom pow
Them chicks is jackin my style
They try to copy my swagger
I’m on that next shit now
Im so 3008
You so 2000 and late
I got that boom boom boom
That future boom boom boom
Let me get it now

Boom boom boom
(Gotta get that) Boom boom boom
(Gotta get that) Boom boom boom
(Gotta get that) Boom boom boom
(Gotta get that) Boom boom boom (That)
Boom boom boom (Yeah)
Boom boom boom
Boom boom boom..."


Mmmmmmmmm, yeah.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 1, 2009 1:01 PM

I don't really get the hate for the Black Eyed Peas.

But then, I don't really get why they're still making music, either.

Posted by: lizzieborden at July 1, 2009 1:17 PM

Their music is the more horrible because it's the kind of crap that you hear once and it just STAYS IN YOUR BRAIN FOREVER. It's all the same stupid line repeated 400 times in a row and it penetrates your brain like a parasite and sucks up your life and by the end of the day you're begging for death.

BSlim: I don't like you very much right now.

*sobs in the corner with the song playing as background*

Posted by: figgy at July 1, 2009 1:28 PM

I hate the Black Eyed Peas as much as the next person but will.i.am did appear on that Eazy E Christmas song. And he smacked Perez Hilton. That's bordering on gangsta.

*sigh*

No, no it isn't.

Posted by: TSF at July 1, 2009 1:49 PM

I'm not much of a fan of pure hip-hop, so it wasn't until the Black Eyes Peas moved to funk that I started listening. Perhaps I'm missing out; perhaps I'm just too old. Perhaps I just think that music should actually include some, y'know, music.

So in that vein, their first two albums are forever a complete miss. The second two have at least a dozen tracks between them with enough actual music to keep listening to over and over. I agree their lyrics are the weakest link -- but what hip-hop artist's lyrics are exemplary jewels of wit and taste? Most of the hip-hop lyrics involve either:

A) Tits,
B) Dicks (i.e., Friable Egos),
C) Guns (see B),
D) Money (also see B)
E) All of the above

with very little to distinguish one "song" from another.

Well, whatever. We agree to disagree, I'm sure. Still, it's inarguable that until the band brought in Fergie, they were a nothing going nowhere, and now they can double-platinum even yesterday's fishwrappings.

Posted by: Neodiogenes at July 1, 2009 1:50 PM

In response to Neodiogenes I would suggest that those broad sweeping generalizations about Hip Hop music could be made for pretty much every aspect of the entertainment industry.

Posted by: TSF at July 1, 2009 1:53 PM

"I'm not much of a fan of pure hip-hop"

Actually, given your limited understanding of the genre, I'd say you're no any kind of fan at all.

Turn off the goddamn radio and do some research.

Posted by: I Love Beets at July 1, 2009 2:03 PM

I hate that I can read: "(Gotta get that) Boom boom boom" and instantly hear that song. I feel like their ability to infect your brain with shitty beats is a byproduct of government research into weaponized mind control.

Posted by: "luker" the barbarian at July 1, 2009 2:21 PM

I thank my lucky stars that I'm so apt at avoiding this kind of music. Because it sucks.

Your write-up, however, is fantastic.

Posted by: Sean at July 1, 2009 2:42 PM

Turn off the goddamn radio and do some research.

Posted by: I Love Beets at July 1, 2009 2:03 PM
-------------------------------------------------


Right. Because to properly enjoy art one first needs to spend a couple of years studying history and theory.

I'm sure there are all kinds of subtle, fascinating hip-hop distinctions I'm missing that would bore me, much like I'm sure a lecture on the distinctions between Bauhaus and Vkhutemas styles of architecture would seem trivial to you. Like I said, we agree to disagree.

I do know what I've heard, yes, primarily on (satellite) radio. It's not that it's bad music; it's that it's boring music, or rather, that it's boring because it's rarely musical. Instead it relies primarily on clever rhythms and provocative lyrics. While the rhythms are interesting in themselves, the lyrical styles have become so ubiquitous and familiar that they have lost any power to provoke. All that's left is a kind of unintentional self-parody.

It's only when the more interesting elements of hip-hop are combined with other musical forms that I pay attention.

That being said, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Prove it to me. Pick two tracks, released within the past five years, and I promise I'll listen with an open mind.


Posted by: Neodiogenes at July 1, 2009 3:13 PM

Those two quotes, "textin' me" and the Facebook one bring to mind one of my most favorite topics of discussion.

How old does a technology have to be before you can put it in a song and not have it stick out or sound lame?

Alternately: When can an old black man sing a blues song about the technical aspects of makin' a cell phone call to his baby?

See, 'cause you can write a song about the technical aspects of making a collect call and it seems fine. You can talk about television and satellites just fine. But cell phone, texting, computer, internet, email, etc. just sound silly to me, except in the occasional pop song. I heard "email" in a song from Prince's newest album and it was grating. So, how does that work? When do I get to listen to a blues song lamenting how my blog's server is down?

Oh, and Black Eyed Peas are fucking clowns.

Posted by: pissant at July 1, 2009 3:14 PM

"Pick two tracks, released within the past five years, and I promise I'll listen with an open mind."

I'll take that challenge.

"Low Light, Low Life" by P.O.S., particularly the Dessa solo.

"Bullet" by Rhymefest

"The Waitress" by Atmosphere (really, anything on that album would work)

"Porcelain" by Tonedeff

That's off the top of my head. Of course, as you said, you're free to disagree. But I think you sell a lot of incredibly smart, talented artists short by generalizing so.

That said, I'm interested to hear your opinion. So give them a shot and write back. Or email me (tk@pajiba.com). I love this kind of discussion.

Also, not to derail the discussion, but I'd say that the BEP's veered away from hip hop a while ago, and now they are simply pop music, plain and simple. But that's a whole other conversation.

Posted by: TK at July 1, 2009 3:40 PM

Listen Polley Pajiba is the major leagues, this ain’t no high school newspaper you’re writing for son. As much as I don't like that hump TK, he does on occasion hits the mark, I'm sure he'd be willing to give you a few pointers. Before you review a goddamn album it might help to do a little research on the subject you’re writing about. Also, your writing is very sophomoric, at one point I was so sure you were going to use the word “icky” in describing the Black Eyed Peas.

Posted by: Guess Who! at July 1, 2009 5:43 PM

There is an entire genre of music (I believe it is referred to as "Popular Music after 1996") that I, for the most part, am only familiar with thanks to the efforts of Girl Talk to make it palatable. The first time I heard My Humps was on Night Ripper, and due to everyone slagging on it, I felt bad kinda liking it. Then I heard the song by itself and said "OHHHHH."

From what I can tell, the Black Eyed Peas are a simple formula...basic, sometimes ripped off beat + four people screaming the same sentence over and over again at the same time. I've never wanted to say (type) the following sentence unironically, but they've forced my hand: Damn kids, with your "music."

And it's such a shame, because Stacy was my favorite on K.I.D.S. Inc. Post-Marta Marrerro, that is.

Posted by: Barabajagalla at July 1, 2009 11:58 PM

Oh, and totally another conversation, but people who say hip hop is boring are seriously not paying enough attention. It doesn't need research, it needs visceral involvement. The intricacies of the different beats, patterns, samples, harmonies, whatever they're mixing together is the closest music has gotten to improving on Bach's Fugues.

Just a music theory nerd and had to put in my two cents.

Posted by: Barabajagalla at July 2, 2009 12:06 AM

@TK - Love the P.O.S. and Atmosphere song... although I've never really been a fan of Rhymefest, I'll have to check that song out.

Side note: Has anyone heard Busdriver's new album (Jhelli Beam)? Shit is bangin' as usual.

Back on topic: Black Eyed Peas. Don't care.

Posted by: Colin at July 2, 2009 9:51 AM

I have Jhelli Beam on my non-iPod. It helped keep me awake at my temp job.

Posted by: SaBrina at July 2, 2009 11:39 AM

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

Never heard Black Eyed Peas before, and 'way sorry I started now. Granted, pop music tends not to be 6 fathoms deep, but still - "Ring-a-ling" puts Blondie's "Call Me" on the Shakespearean level.

"I Gotta Feeling" and "Party All the Time"? When I want a party anthem, I throw Kiss in the CD player. Better yet- turn on the DVD and crank "Rock 'n Roll All Night". Not only do you *not* get that ear-raping Autotune, there's a shitload of pyro and a guitar smash.

Way to go, BEP.

35 years later, party anthem still = Kiss. Epic Win!

Posted by: bjs1109 at July 2, 2009 10:30 PM

The worst criticism of hip hop is "But it's not really music anyway."

I just don't get that. Every time I hear this I'm like, "Wha...?"


Anyway yeah. The Black Eyed Peas are terrible. I never liked them even back before Fergie.

Posted by: kayla at July 3, 2009 8:57 AM

"(...) to use the creation of music as a way of questioning, celebrating, and teaching decent ways of living."

What ridiculous. You really think that thoughts like that make the world better, don't you?
Do you really think that "conscious lyrics" will change the situation of extreme poverty lived in Africa, for example?
That hipocrisy is what makes Earth such a dirty place. People lives your simple life and thinks that is making something pretty good by listening to a deep song, that "questions" the world.
By listening to A or B kind of music you're not moving an only straw for change. World needs action. Music is originally just a way of entertaining people, making their lives a lil better.
The world will get a decent place to live when first world pseudo-intellectual genius create the conscience that songs that is made to give some fun to people don't have nothing to the state of calamity of nowadays, and does have the ambition and the lack of humanity of some governors and part of global population.
So move your ass out from the computer and, if you want a world with more concious people, do something to improve the public education system, which you won't get by listening music with social content while other people is just having some fun with The Black Eyed Peas tunes.

Posted by: Robinson at July 14, 2009 7:36 PM

If they are so bad why have both "boom boom pow" and "I gotta feeling" gone to number 1 and theyve been top for 15 weeks and counting. The people making comments on this must hate their success and the fact that they are trying to produce a different sound to the normal boring sound we are accustomed to should be applauded. Also they are 1 of only 11 artists to simultaenously hold the no.1 and no.2 spots in the billboard chart.

Posted by: Teletubbie 29 at July 22, 2009 1:36 PM