The movies are ideally suited to do fantastical things. While advanced special effects have somehow made things seem generally less magical, a successful spectacle — from The Wizard of Oz to The Lord of the Rings — is still the most unique treat the cinema offers. And as easy as it is to spew invective at the dumbest, most bloated Hollywood fare, every year the independent theaters host their share of flat, uninspired work that aspires to be the filmed equivalent of literature but ends up boring you out of your mind. So it’s all the more gratifying when you see a fictional story that gets things right — that understands people in a way that, if it doesn’t feel like a documentary, at least feels like life you recognize.
I recently saw Diggers, a perfectly likable movie about four young clam diggers on the southern shore of Long Island in the 1970s who are threatened by the arrival of a big corporation. One of the things that drew me to it was a review in the New York Times that said the movie felt “like life.” And at its best, it did. It got me thinking about my favorite movies that could be described that way, and the result is the highly subjective, vaguely defined list below (mostly in no particular order).
Junebug — Cultures rarely clash the way they so often do in the movies, when a slick lawyer has to deliver a calf or a redneck has to figure out how to order off a French menu. They more often clash the way they do in Junebug, when Madeleine (Embeth Davidtz), a Chicago art dealer, visits the North Carolina family of her husband, George (Alessandro Nivola). The characters here all have good intentions, and for the most part they’re not caricatures. They just lead lives full of very different assumptions. This leads to personal conflicts and stony silences that feel genuine. Director Phil Morrison also has a deft touch with set pieces, like the one in which Madeleine watches George earnestly deliver a hymn at a church social. It’s a beautifully rendered moment of revelation for Madeleine, and for the audience as well.
Swingers and Sideways — The male friendships at the center of these odd-couple comedies — Mike and Trent in Swingers; Miles and Jack in Sideways — feel more authentic than any others I can remember. This is partly because each movie takes great pains to establish specific, believable details. The moments in Swingers when the guys play Sega hockey and enthusiastically talk trash might as well have been documentary footage from any of countless dorm rooms at the time (including mine). The scenes in which Trent tries to rally Mike out of his post-break-up stupor are equally recognizable, even if it’s less fun to acknowledge it.
The guys in Sideways might be older, but their bonding rituals remain youthful (road trip), occasionally juvenile (accusations of homosexuality). I read more than one criticism that questioned the likelihood of such different men being such good friends, but Miles and Jack are the ideal complementary pair, the former’s constant introspection and subsequent self-loathing perfectly counterbalanced by the latter’s self-ignorance and recklessness. Both movies have many strengths, not all of them strictly realistic, but they’re anchored by relationships that most men can recognize as true.
All the Real Girls — With the word real right there in the title, I didn’t have much choice with this one. Writer-director David Gordon Green’s second effort focuses on the relationship between Paul (Paul Schneider) and Noel (Zooey Deschanel). He’s the local lothario and she’s a virgin in a depressed North Carolina mill town. Their love intensifies without sex, and eventually they face a significant hurdle. After that moment, the movie loses a bit of momentum, but it’s stunningly shot throughout — Green has a well-deserved reputation for capturing languorous days in unlucky places. It’s true that his characters sometimes seem a bit too lacking in self-awareness — I believe one imdb commenter indelicately described his movies as “Hallmark cards for retards” — but there’s a sense that you’re watching their lives unfold in something like real time, and that’s enough of an accomplishment to keep you watching even during the flat spots.
Before Sunrise — In my early 20s, I watched Before Sunrise with a girlfriend. I had seen it in college and greatly enjoyed it. She was watching it for the first time. As the end credits rolled, she turned to me and asked, “Why did you like that?”
It was a funny (and telling) moment, but over time I’ve come closer to understanding her dubious reaction. It’s possible that if I hadn’t first seen it at such a young and sentimental age, I would have been more annoyed by the pseudo-profound ramblings of Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Celine (Julie Delpy), who fall in love over the course of one night in Vienna. Still, those ramblings are kind of the point, and their lack of polish is what makes the movie feel so realistic. Jesse isn’t a young Woody Allen artfully spinning his neuroses into potent one-liners; he’s just an overly romantic American with a very small window in which to seem philosophical and sophisticated enough for a stunning French woman. Such moments will lead to rambling.
Funny Ha Ha — Andrew Bujalski is not original, but given that his strongest influences — Cassavetes, some of Woody Allen — haven’t been hip for a while, it would be easy to mistake him for that. Unlike Richard Linklater, who in movies like Slacker and Dazed and Confused captured an entertaining but stagy, kitschy kind of reality, Bujalski aims for something more documentary-like. In his debut, Funny Ha Ha, he meanders along with a group of recent college graduates in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Marnie (Kate Dollenmayer) drinks too much, has no idea how to start a career, and halfheartedly searches in vain for Mr. Right. It’s all standard generational stuff, and adjusting to the level of verisimilitude — the mumbled, ineloquent phrases, and the lack of anything resembling dramatic structure — takes some time.
Unlike Bujalski’s follow-up, Mutual Appreciation, though, Funny Ha Ha doesn’t feel like someone trying to worship an aesthetic. It just feels like someone picked up a camera and started following a few people around. It’s a method of filmmaking that might drive you crazy, but if you’re living on the same planet as me, you can’t deny that it feels real.
Killer of Sheep — In 1977, Charles Burnett submitted Killer of Sheep as his MFA thesis at UCLA. Like many people, I hadn’t seen it (or heard of it, frankly) until this year, when it was restored and released widely for the first time. It’s been a cult favorite among critics and film historians for those 30 years, and it’s easy to see why. Filmed in Watts on a shoestring budget, it unobtrusively captures quiet, desperate lives on crisp black and white stock. The most desperate (and quietest) is Stan (Henry Gayle Sanders), whose work at a slaughterhouse leaves him increasingly distant and stunned at home. Watching the movie’s early, aimless scenes of Stan’s young children playing with others in abandoned lots, it was easy to see Killer of Sheep’s visual and tonal influence on David Gordon Green’s George Washington, and it’s likely that many others were inspired by exposure to Burnett’s debut, which has the “hey, maybe I could do that” quality of all great DIY work. Of course, most people couldn’t do it, because it’s not just about amateur acting and stripped-down plot (utter lack of plot, to be honest). The details are most important, like the slow, silent dance shared by Stan and his wife to “This Bitter Earth” by Dinah Washington. It’s in such moments that Killer of Sheep earns its reputation as an independent masterpiece.
Walking and Talking — Nicole Holofcener’s movies all strive to feel like real life. But where the recent Friends with Money seemed a bit like a smart TV dramedy, and Lovely and Amazing before that had a few helpings of self-conscious indie quirkiness sprinkled throughout, Walking and Talking, her debut, mostly just feels like spending time around your own funny, wistful peers. The story centers on Amelia (Catherine Keener) and Laura (Anne Heche), two childhood friends now in their 30s and having very different experiences with love. Laura is about to get married, an event she knows will strain her bond with Amelia, who remains unlucky with men. (Why the pretty, charming Keener has played so many women still available in that stage of life is a great mystery.) Some have called it a precursor of sorts to “Sex and the City,” but with Liev Schreiber, Todd Field, and Kevin Corrigan also featured, Walking and Talking is less about one gender than the way both men and women move (or don’t move) into adulthood.
You Can Count On Me — The king of the category. Writer-director Kenneth Lonergan’s script is a remarkably unadorned, penetrating view of familial love. It doesn’t hurt that Mark Ruffalo and Laura Linney turn in brilliant, natural performances as Terry and Sammy, a brother and sister reunited in upstate New York after a long time apart. When they were children, their parents died in a car accident, a shadow that, like almost everything in the movie, smartly informs things without being made overly explicit.
In superficial ways, the pair couldn’t be more different. Sammy is a single mother defined by her responsibilities. She’s not one-dimensional — we’re eventually shown her deep desire for some spontaneity — but she’s not going to go off the rails. Terry lives off the rails, a gentle but troubled soul who can’t seem to grow up in any of the constructive ways. He shows up in Sammy’s town, where the two were born, after leaving behind a pregnant, troubled girlfriend. At first, he just wants money from his sister, but he ends up sticking around and developing an alternately helpful and hazardous relationship with his young nephew, Rudy (Rory Culkin).
You Can Count On Me develops the relationship between its leads slowly and carefully, allowing long, believable conversations to make us feel close to them without pulling too many sentimental strings along the way. This method allows the viewer to make an emotional investment in the characters that’s beyond what he or she might fully realize as the movie unfolds. In the final scene, when the siblings, on the verge of parting again, have a tender conversation in which they refer to the film’s title without actually saying it, the scene is as beautiful, heartbreaking, and genuine as any you’re likely to see.
John Williams lives in Brooklyn. He’s an editor at Harper Perennial and a freelance writer. He blogs at A Special Way of Being Afraid.
Crazy Love | | Gracie |
Comments
Amazing list, John. You Can Count On Me keeps coming up on the guides, more than a subtle hint for those of you that haven't seen it.
Posted by: Kevin Longrie at May 31, 2007 1:17 PM
"You Can Count on Me" is one of my favorite true-to-life films. Another one for me is "What's Eating Gilbert Grape." Having grown up in a town of the same size (about 1,500) in Middle America, I thought they sensitively captured the quirky, smart albeit sometimes naive, perpetually bored nature of small-town residents, all of whom have simple, hopeful dreams just as real as anyone else's.
I also like how they subtly dealt with big Walmart-like businesses monopolizing small towns (the huge supermarket with "live lobsters" and pre-made cakes destroying the little grocery store Gilbert works in, and the Burger Barn no doubt ruining the businesses of any restaurants/diners in the area).
As much as I love movies for escapism, I also enjoy a good flick to which I can relate. Almost makes it feel like it's your own.
Posted by: PaperGirl at May 31, 2007 1:17 PM
Great list. I would add Once as well. (Well, it feels like real life if your life is filled with struggling, insanely talented musicians.)
Posted by: Carrie at May 31, 2007 1:17 PM
I agree with the ones I have seen and will go and see the ones I haven't...save before sunrise. I just don't know when I would be able to sit through that.
But, because we have to add a few you forgot, I choose Blue in the Face for all those true blue brooklyn-ites and anyone born and raised here in tha city it feels and talks stunningly real.
And, Welcome to the Dollhouse because when my mother Dawn saw that movie she couldn't stop crying over her own fat little memories.
Oh, and One more....Come Early Morning.
Posted by: Joanna at May 31, 2007 1:29 PM
Great list. I'd add Big Night. Love that movie.
Posted by: WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot at May 31, 2007 1:42 PM
Yay! You gave credit to Killer of Sheep! It was so nice to see it on a big screen as compared to the 3rd generation VHS copy we were passing around. It might not feel like everyone's life, but for anyone who has experienced similar situations it rings pretty true.
Also, I lived next door to the golf course from Swingers for a while and yes, it was totally full of groups of guys just lke the ones from the movie.
Posted by: missmle at May 31, 2007 1:43 PM
Oh, I get it! If you want your movie to feel "real" just set it in good ol' NC!
All sarcasm aside, I love when I read lists on this site with at 3 movies I haven't seen. I'll be netflixing You Can Count On Me immediately. Thank you Pajibrains!
Posted by: nexus 6 at May 31, 2007 1:48 PM
Good list. I would add "Chasing Amy" as well. It has its' flaws but it is still one of the more realistic relationship movies I've ever seen. "The Breakup" was pretty realistic too when it came to the relationship imploding and the non-Hollywood ending.
Posted by: Rob at May 31, 2007 2:05 PM
The entire TPS sequence in Office Space.
Posted by: twig at May 31, 2007 2:15 PM
A movie with a male friendship that felt pretty real to me was Good Will Hunting. Probably one of my favorite movies.
Posted by: RAT at May 31, 2007 2:18 PM
Gotta go with "Kramer vs. Kramer" on this one. The scene where Dustin Hoffman yells "I hate you, too, you little shit!" at his son and the son apologizes later? Please.
I also thought "Half Nelson" felt real.
Posted by: Samantha T at May 31, 2007 2:21 PM
It seems I have some movies to rent.
Posted by: Jams at May 31, 2007 2:30 PM
Walking and Talking is one of my all time favorite movies. It is just so damn realistic. The whole relationship with the ugly guy in the video store - honestly that could be a scene from my life. I think I'm gonna put that on my queue right now. I have extolled its virtues to many people, who often agree with me. Good choice.
Posted by: Rachael at May 31, 2007 2:32 PM
I loved this list and the idea behind it. "You can count on me" is one of my favorites, as is "Walking and Talking". (Rachael--I thought the scene where Anne Heche is arguing with her fiance about how he always calls waitresses by their first name, as if he knows them, was totally a scene out of my life). I also would have to add "My life or something like it". Can't remember the last time I cried that hard during a movie, and Sarah Polley and Mark Ruffalo were just really damn good in it.
Also, "The King" felt like life to me--albeit in a really fucked-up way. It just felt really real, like I was intruding upon someone's life by watching the movie. Gael Garcia Bernal can do no wrong, apparently.
Posted by: em at May 31, 2007 2:47 PM
Kicking and Screaming from Noah Baumbach. I saw it for the first time when I was in law school. During that time of my life, I literally had nothing to do except drink and [attempt] be witty. Good times.
Posted by: Kitty X at May 31, 2007 2:48 PM
Kicking and Screaming is spot-on. Cougars!
It was My Life Without Me, em, not My Life or Something Like It. Great film produced by the Almodovar brothers. Sarah Polley is top notch. I'll add The Sweet Hereafter (another Polley film)- a very depressing nod to the "real" feeling movie list. So much going on, but you can FEEL all of the pain contained in that film.
Posted by: harmonov at May 31, 2007 3:21 PM
"The Sweet Hereafter" is probably my favorite legal movie of all time, Harmonov. Pitch-perfect performances by all.
Can you tell I've secretly always wanted to be a plaintiff-side lawyer?
Posted by: Samantha T at May 31, 2007 3:35 PM
Walking and Talking is a great real-life movie. I was so in love with Liev Schreiber after I saw it, despite the money-borrowing and porn addiction.
I would also vote for a couple of Mike Leigh movies. He comes close to overplaying the quirky thing sometimes, but the pace of the dialogue, the lighting, the way the characters have their own little, barely noticeable habits, etc. E.g., in Life Is Sweet, the dad rummaging around out in the garden shed, the mom making cheese sandwiches.... And in Secrets and Lies, Brenda Blethyn and Marianne Jean-Baptiste awkwardly sitting on the same side of the table in the cafe the first time they meet. I love watching moments like that.
Posted by: ak at May 31, 2007 3:38 PM
Just caught Junebug recently and, as an NC born and bred, I was, for one, excited to see a movie set in the South where we weren't all depicted as inbred troglodytes without indoor plumbing. Lives full of different assumptions is a great way to put it. And I too saw that house and the church social room and felt like I'd been there before.
Posted by: MG at May 31, 2007 3:59 PM
dittos on the TPS thread in Office Space. At the risk of being pelted with rocks and garbage, I'd throw in Lost in Translation.
Posted by: summerteeth at May 31, 2007 4:00 PM
Average as the movie was, I thought the fight scene in The Breakup was perhaps the most authentic ever put to film. That scene is why I cannot dismiss the movie, no matter how much I probably should.
Bad films aside, Ponette and Ma Vie En Rose feel like you're watching real life unfold in front of you.
My Life Without Me falls into that category for me, as well.
Posted by: juliagulia at May 31, 2007 4:07 PM
"You, Me and Everyone We Know?" A little quirkier than real life. But still.
"Walking and Talking" is my favs. Nothing beats Liev Schreiber's "Hellooo cookie." And "Uh oh! You've got a rotary phone!" And, finally, "You like? Very very much. I think so."
This movie has bought a lot of cred for the participants for me and helps me endure Liev's recently bloated performances and Todd Field's sometimes overwrought direction.
Posted by: rebeaniegirl at May 31, 2007 4:27 PM
"It was My Life Without Me, em, not My Life or Something Like It. Great film produced by the Almodovar brothers. Sarah Polley is top notch. I'll add The Sweet Hereafter (another Polley film)- a very depressing nod to the "real" feeling movie list. So much going on, but you can FEEL all of the pain contained in that film."
Yes--thanks for the correction harmonov! Makes me wonder what I was thinking of with that movie title I put in there instead...hmm...
Oh, one more to add--The 25th Hour.
Posted by: em at May 31, 2007 4:30 PM
(Sorry, the love overflows into another post)
There's a small moment, where Catherine Keener is driving a car. No one is talking. She takes off her sweater while driving, Liev Schreiber holds the steering wheel for her as she does, then takes her sweater so she can take the wheel again. He tucks the sweater under his head and goes back to sleep in the passenger seat. No words, but so much is conveyed. No moment has seemed more real for me in a movie.
Posted by: redbeaniegirl at May 31, 2007 4:32 PM
Nice list (especially agree with Sideways). I would probably add High Fidelity, which I thought captured the way guys think perfectly.
Posted by: Jeff at May 31, 2007 4:51 PM
Has anyone mentioned "Seven Minutes in Heaven"?
One of Jennifer Connelly's earliest movies, and a sweet and natural-feeling movie about teens.
I saw it when I was still a teenager, and it felt like real life to me. It wasn't one of those outlandish screwball teen comedies. I highly recommend it.
Posted by: Loob at May 31, 2007 5:16 PM
A movie that really touched me as real life (at least rang very true to my own life) is Ghost World.
I can't even fully articulate how much I felt Enid, trying to find her place in life, but simultaniously not wanting to for fear of becoming just like everyone else.
Even now, out of college, and on the verge of my first big career job...I see myself in Enid, and hope she did find the place she was going, when she stepped onto that Bus to no where.
Posted by: Bettie Bloodshed at May 31, 2007 5:21 PM
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE!!! Cause every HS had a Summer Wheatly and beefcake jocks...they just get what's coming to them in the movie...in real life they win the election, and get married straight outta high school, and get fat. The End.
Posted by: Be Adequite! at May 31, 2007 5:26 PM
A truly outstanding list ... I've probably watched You Can Count on Me 20 times, but I always learn something new from it each time .. One I might add is "The Snapper," which along with being extremely funny is just very true to life too
Posted by: http://reelfanatic.blogspot.com at May 31, 2007 5:29 PM
Excellent list both in concept and execution. I just got Diggers via netflix this morning, so it's an odd coincidence and I'm looking forward to it a bit more now. The only film I can think to add that hasn't been mentioned is The Station Agent...
Posted by: Paul at May 31, 2007 5:37 PM
A beautiful concept, a fantastic list. Nice one. The films I've seen here I loved, the ones I haven't promptly went on to my list. Extra special props for Before Sunrise.
Posted by: Rebecca H. at May 31, 2007 5:47 PM
"I would probably add High Fidelity, which I thought captured the way guys think perfectly."
Ugh - I hope not. Entertaining, but I hated the protagonist. Were we kind of supposed to?
I can't BELIEVE somebody mentioned "Life is Sweet"! I was trying to remember the name of that movie. Mike Leigh, man - his movies are a slap in the face (in a good way).
Posted by: Samantha T at May 31, 2007 6:13 PM
MG, I totally agree with you about the NC thing. We have several great colleges, hospitals and towns here, and yet filmmakers persist on portraying us as if we're metally retarded. Thanks guys.
I thought a lot of the scenes in Billy Elliot were very real, and also My Summer of Love. Don't know how widely MSoL was seen in America, but to me if definitely captures the feeling of a lazy summer in England.
Posted by: Claire at May 31, 2007 6:20 PM
This one's embarrassing but fuck it....Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Swear to god there's a person in my family for each character in the movie (the doting mother, the batshit crazy aunt, Uncle Louis who lights the chair on fire, Randy Quaid's unwelcome and backwards relative, and of course the father who wants it all to be perfect)...
Posted by: Be Adequite again! at May 31, 2007 6:32 PM
Your Friends and Neighbors. Anyone? Although I have no friends who are intellectual infidels, the "real life" movement of the story and depressing themes are something I can relate to. And you can't beat Jason Patrick's monologue of male raping a nerd in high school as his best sexual experience ever. ahh high school.
Posted by: Travka at May 31, 2007 6:54 PM
Your Friends and Neighbors. Anyone? Although I have no friends who are intellectual infidels, the "real life" movement of the story and depressing themes are something I can relate to. And you can't beat Jason Patrick's monologue of male raping a nerd in high school as his best sexual experience ever. ahh high school.
Posted by: Travka at May 31, 2007 6:54 PM
I'd have to say watching "Ellie Parker" was a good, but oddly embarrassing experience. It was so true to life, partly because it's filmed with a video camera, partly because nothing happens, and mainly because it was just so damn uncomfortable to sit through. I felt like I was watching something I wasn't supposed to see. But I enjoyed it anyway. Also, another Naomi Watts flick, "We Don't Live Here Anymore" had a weird real-life vibe to it.
Posted by: Morgan at May 31, 2007 7:35 PM
I would add Caro Diario (I suppose the movies are supposed to be American or at least in English to "feel like life" and this one is Italian, but it's mesmerizing in a quiet and wandering way) and Welcome to Sarajevo, which is obviously not an everyday life story for North Americans, but there are so many scenes of such recognizable ordinary human interaction that every time I watch it (I use it in one of my courses) I feel like these are people I know.
Posted by: cecilia at May 31, 2007 7:36 PM
you almost lost me, as i cant stand any of the films on this list(save for killer of sheep, which i have not seen)....until you listed you can count on me. that movie gets me every time, dammit. but david gordon green's films are most certainly hallmark for retards. god theyre such pretentious dribble, george washington being the worse.
Posted by: jordan at May 31, 2007 7:45 PM
Maybe I'm revealing too much about my fucked up early childhood, but I'd add "The Squid and the Whale." That movie just completely captured the experience of divorce for me.
Posted by: zenhound at May 31, 2007 8:26 PM
Remember that movie "Home for the Holidays"? With Holly Hunter and Robert Downey Jr and Anne Bancroft? (God, I miss that old broad).
Remember going home to see your crazy family for Christmas or Thanksgiving and dreading it and all the freaks come out and there's a fight on the lawn? Or was that just my family?
Never mind.
Posted by: greer at May 31, 2007 8:40 PM
I am loving the "Walking and Talking" love. I saw it years ago but it's almost as if the film never existed, it gets so little mention (at least, from what I've seen). I'll never forget the scene where Catherine Keener's character is calling the Heche character, who is trying to have sex with her man, and Keener's telling them over the voice-mail how her dishcloth smells like hotdog. Something very very real about that indeed.
It's almost as if John has resurrected this film, for me, seeing all the comments about it come flowing in. Nice.
(Sam T - agree with you about "The Sweet Hereafter"...so glad it's found such a wide audience.)
Posted by: Ranylt at May 31, 2007 9:20 PM
Did I just write over the voice mail? How cute. I meant over the answering-machine.
Posted by: Ranylt at May 31, 2007 9:22 PM
God, I love the Sweet Hereafter. I don't know how "real" it is, but I love it nonetheless.
A great list, John. It's funny, I was just thinking about American Psycho, and how it's one of the most realistic depictions - not of real life, per se - but of how some people's minds actually work on the inside, of the unrestricted id.
I'm not sure what that says about my mind. In fact, forget I said anything. Move along.
And Samantha T, I hate to break it to you, but similarly, High Fidelity actually does capture the way some guys think. Quite well, in fact.
Posted by: TK at May 31, 2007 10:07 PM
You Can Count On Me was so lovely and REAL that I almost cried. It was wonderful. I know films shouldn't always be like that, but this one made me wish that some of the "drama" ones would at least try. Then maybe this one wouldn't be so special. The Squid and the Whale is another film that is sort of real, when you think about divorces and how they can tear families apart.
Posted by: gr at May 31, 2007 10:49 PM
My Life Without Me isn't by the Almodovar brothers. At least I'm pretty sure it's not; the director was Isabel Coixet. Off to IMDB with me.
I have to totally second The Squid and the Whale, which also probably reveals too much about my weird childhood. What I loved about it is how well it captured the immaturity of academics as parents.
My favourite true-to-life movie, though, is waydowntown, in which four big-city office drones make a bet to see if they can live in the underground networks connecting their apartments and workplaces and everything else without going outside. As a downtown office drone with the ability to get everywhere without going outside, it really spoke to me with how you can get completely choked by the recycled air and fast food workplace environment.
Posted by: Helena at May 31, 2007 10:50 PM
This is probably a really stupid suggestion considering all the fantasy in the movie, but I think The Life Aquatic deserves an honorable mention. The interactions and relationship with, well, most of the characters was very real for me, almost uncomfortably so at times.
Posted by: Eva at May 31, 2007 11:19 PM
Hard to believe but I have.not.seen. ONE. of these movies.My aversion to 'romantic comedies' and 'relationship' movies appears to have made me miss out. :(
Posted by: brite at May 31, 2007 11:33 PM
I, too, saw Before Sunrise in my early/mid-20s, then I saw Before Sunset (by myself) in my early 30s and BAWLED in the theater. Julie Delpy's monologue in the taxi with Ethan H. about how every guy she's dated goes and gets married broke my heart. It was such a desperate and naked moment. In conclusion, I'd add Before Sunset to the list.
p.s. YAY for Walking and Talking!
Posted by: Rachel at May 31, 2007 11:52 PM
I love that someone mentioned "The Snapper". I didn't love the film but it did have that really real life feel. A notice that a lot of the less mainstream more indie working class British comedies have that real life feel. I think I might chop it up the the fact that all the actors in said films look like really real people. Not "movie" real, real real.
Posted by: skye at May 31, 2007 11:58 PM
Thanks for the Bujalski heads-up. I will definitely check it out.
I know these don't necessarily count, and do not check them out unless you prefer a subjects a little heaveir than a Friday night should be; but Michael Haneke's Time of the Wolf and Francois Ozon's 5x2 are tremendous real depictions. Wolf is interesting because of its realism in the face of dire circumstances. 5x2 is great because of the authenticity its two characters play at love in reverse. You'll understand perfectly when you see it.
Also, Cassavetes is a list unto himself, as you well should know.
Posted by: Jackseppelin at June 1, 2007 12:30 AM
Definite yes on Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. I bought both on one night without having seen either. My roomie thought I was crazy because 'those don't seem like you... at all...' But I adore both. Simple, beautiful films.
Posted by: Gabs at June 1, 2007 12:39 AM
Hi Fidelity is my life, although the gfs aren't as hot and I'm damn sure no John Cusack. And my coworkers aren't as funny as Jack Black. But other than that, that movie spoke to me, man.
Posted by: docweasel at June 1, 2007 4:51 AM
has anyone here seen Nobody Knows? It's a Japanese film based around four children who are left to fend for themselves in a flat when their mother abandons them. it's based on a real story and has just some of the most incredible acting i have seen in my entire life. it is just so incredibly real. the children's relationship with their mother is pitch perfect and the movie has this incredibly real feeling of deterioration and listlessness to it.
I totally recommend it.
Posted by: hug at June 1, 2007 6:35 AM
I have to nominate The Breakfast Club. In high school I saw it a dozen times because it felt like it was speaking directly to me (I tried to commit suicide with a flare gun, you see). I studiously avoid watching it now because I suspect it had more to do with being the right age to see it, but at the time...
Posted by: Superbonanza at June 1, 2007 8:02 AM
Skye - loved "The Snapper", but it's Irish. I found the movie to be very real, as well.
Posted by: Samantha T at June 1, 2007 8:22 AM
I notice that a lot of the less mainstream more indie working class [UK and Irish] comedies have that real life feel. I think I might chalk it up to the fact that all the actors in said films look like really real people. Not "movie" real, real real.
So true. That also characterizes Canadian film, for the most part. It turns off a lot of people and they can't put their finger on why. It would be funny if it wasn't so depressing.
Posted by: Ranylt at June 1, 2007 8:47 AM
I forgot to mention The Big Kahuna, which seemed pretty genuine to me. Probably the only time Peter Facinelli ever came close to impressing me.
Posted by: TK at June 1, 2007 9:11 AM
Helena - the Bros. Almodovar produced My Life Without Me. That's all I was saying.
And a nod to Jackseppelin for the mention of Mr. Cassavetes. No other filmmaker made it more "real" than he did. A Woman Under the Influence has, in my opinion, the finest piece of acting ever put on film in Gena Rowlands' performance. Wow.
And I would beg to differ with David Gordon Green's naysayers. The guy has an eye for a true experience in film. His shot compositions and dialogue are overwhlemingly "real" - he manages to capture things that just boggle my mind. I love the character named Bust-Ass in All the Real Girls. He could be any number of my friends (is that a good thing?).
Another film I'll throw out there is Ken Loach's Sweet Sixteen.
Posted by: harmonov at June 1, 2007 10:20 AM
I love the kind of "real" movies that have been listed here and mentioned in the subsequent comments, sweet, sometimes funny and moving (I'll admit that I've never seen You Can Count On Me but immeidately purchased it before even getting to the end of the mini-review) I however cannot stand the British equivalent. All "gritty" and "bittersweet". Ugh.
I don't know why but the Americans just do this particular genre better.
Posted by: Alex the Odd at June 1, 2007 10:53 AM
I can't tell you how thrilled I am that someone other than myself recognizes "Before Sunrise" for the masterpiece that is truly is. It is, without question, my all-time favorite movie. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and Netflix this today!
Posted by: Angela at June 1, 2007 11:03 AM
Clockwatchers should be on this list. There's a scene where Toni Collette's character sneaks into the ladies' room to throw out some forms she's messed up typing because her supervisor has chastised her for wasting supplies. Been there, done that...glad I grew up and got some perspective.
Posted by: Wednesday at June 1, 2007 11:15 AM
Anyone remeber "Over The Edge". Outside of the school riot at the end of the movie, the relationships and habits of those kids were pretty close to the way my friends and I grew up. It was a good look at what life in the burbs became in the 70s and 80s.
Posted by: Scott at June 1, 2007 11:21 AM
Glad to see someone mentioned "We Don't Live Here Anymore." It was incredibly depressing, but I found myself understanding every bad decision and motivation that the characters made/had.
You Can Count On Me gives me the warmest and saddest feeling in my heart- it is 100% authentic. I love that movie.
Walking and Talking? OK- their dead cat's name was Mr. Bigjeans. Do we need to say any more? That movie doesn't just feel like life, it IS life.
Posted by: Go Big Red at June 1, 2007 1:38 PM
I'd add "Stand By Me" to the list. What group of guys never tried to believe that any trip outside of their homes could be an adventure as well as life-changing?
Posted by: JS at June 1, 2007 2:22 PM
I always felt like Mean Creek was some what like real life....a darker side of it sure but such a simple plot 'a group of kids decide to get revenge on a bully...and fuck up'
I mean i personally have never killed bully but i've been in the situation where as a younger, or older sibling(im a middle child of five) i've had my big brother or sister offer to me, or i've offered to my little brothers, to do something to the person hassling them, and its so simple for the littlest thing to go SOwrong these days that im sure it could potentially happen.
Plis the criteria for this, where its just people fooling around and talking, to me thats in Mean Creak, the scenes with the kids just giving each other shit, how many of us have had days where you totally cement your friendship by calling each other the most awful names?
I mean i think the list is brilliant, especially Swingers, and i like to think that the many scenes in 40 year old virgin where Paul Ruud and the hairy dude tease each other while they place video games are a nod/homage to the Sega scenes in swingers.
Posted by: Nadine at June 1, 2007 2:46 PM
Except for watching only part of Sideways i have not seen any of these movies and its probably because I go to the movies, or more frequently watch DVD's at home to escape life not to go watch more of the same.
Posted by: Sam at June 1, 2007 2:57 PM
Except for watching only part of Sideways i have not seen any of these movies and its probably because I go to the movies, or more frequently watch DVD's at home to escape life not to go watch more of the same.
Posted by: Sam at June 1, 2007 2:57 PM
Sorry for the double post, DOH!
Posted by: Sam at June 1, 2007 2:58 PM
I'd like to add "Before Sunset" as well. I wasn't a huge fan of "Sunrise," as there was something too pretencious about it to me, but the second film is truly amazing.
And another cheer for "You Can Count on Me." I cried like a little bitch at the end of that movie, and when my friend gave me a hard time about it, I sobbed, "You're not crying because you don't love your brother! If you loved your brother you'd be in tears too!" And I have to say that the scene at the end, where they allude to but don't say the name of the movie is one of the best things I've ever seen.
Yay also to: My Life Without Me (Has anyone seen the movie Polley just directed? Is it any good?), All the Real Girls, and Walking and Talking.
Additions: The Girl on the Bridge (sort of fantastical French movie that is real in its own weird way), In the Bedroom (is there too much plot for this one to be "real"?), and The Piano Teacher.
Posted by: hellocello at June 1, 2007 3:35 PM
I was really happy to see movies I adore on this list, and I seriously keep meaning to watch Before Sunrise (I mean it's the one movie that at least gets a shout out once a week either in a movie review or in a comment post). It was a really good list; however, I would like to add Y Tu Mamma Tambien. I think it's real life without being too kitschy or saccharine.
Posted by: Gigi Worthington at June 1, 2007 5:13 PM
I was really happy to see movies I adore on this list, and I seriously keep meaning to watch Before Sunrise (I mean it's the one movie that at least gets a shout out once a week either in a movie review or in a comment post). It was a really good list; however, I would like to add Y Tu Mamma Tambien. I think it's real life without being too kitschy or saccharine.
Posted by: Gigi Worthington at June 1, 2007 5:15 PM
@hug:
I have seen Nobody Knows, and I thought it was brilliant. Those children were amazing to the point that I could feel all of my buried childhood sadness, insecurity, and wonder coming to life again along with theirs.
Posted by: missmle at June 1, 2007 5:15 PM
I was really happy to see movies I adore on this list, and I seriously keep meaning to watch Before Sunrise (I mean it's the one movie that at least gets a shout out once a week either in a movie review or in a comment post). It was a really good list; however, I would like to add Y Tu Mamma Tambien. I think it's real life without being too kitschy or saccharine.
Posted by: Gigi Worthington at June 1, 2007 5:17 PM
I am extremely sorry for the triple post. Please forgive me for not being able to meld fluidly with technology at this present moment. I really wasn't trying to bash anyone with my opinion.
Posted by: Gigi Worthington at June 1, 2007 5:20 PM
Oooooh - the huge blow-out in "In the Bedroom" is fantastic. I must admit that I completely took Sissy S's side in that. I know that's not a popular opinion, but so be it.
I sobbed in "You Can Count on Me." I have a rather...wayward brother who is not nearly as functional as Mark R. was in that movie, but it still got me.
Posted by: Samantha T at June 1, 2007 5:26 PM
hug and missmle, I second the Nobody Knows love. I caught it on cable, and watched in absolute amazement. I had to keep reminding myself that it was a film, and not a documentary - those kids were absolutely brilliant to a one. I wanted so badly to jump through the screen and bitch-slap that mother.
Posted by: pinkcheese at June 1, 2007 5:31 PM
Away From Her, Polley's new movie, is AMAZING. I have a tiny crush on Polley who is, herself, quite tiny.
Posted by: redbeaniegirl at June 1, 2007 5:38 PM
Bravo to the Swingers References - That is why that movie is my #1 Favorite. I love everything about that movie.
I also can relate to some of the scenes in Goodfellas - being Italian - the big family dinners with everyone around just kill me. The best is when the three main characters wake up Tommy's mom in the middle of the night getting the shovel and they end up eating a three course meal at three am! Come on, how many Italian Grandmas haven't whipped you up something no matter what time you arrive at their house? - Also helps, the woman (who is Catherine Martin Scorsese - Martin's mom) is a dead ringer for my grandmother!
Posted by: Eric P at June 1, 2007 5:42 PM
Life is Sweet - among my rolling top ten as a constant. So many unspoken details like the mother's cheap ballet figurines, which blast the characters lives wide open. Love it. Also Mike Leigh's Naked (though less "real")
The Sweet Hereafter - hauntingly real.
Walking and Talking - so glad someone mentioned it. I need to watch it again.
As for Southern movies like Junebug, no love lost there.
I'm born and bred NCer from an old family. People here are getting stupider all the time, more righteous and arrogant. The strong love for eccentricity and the land are gone, bulldozed by NJ developers and Southerners with obsessions for Jesus and cash.
Junebug (written by someone I know) tries to call up the ghost of something that never existed into a present no different from Akron Ohio or Newark NJ.
Cute attempt to make Southerners feel special and noble - we aren't, we sold all that.
plott
Posted by: plotterist at June 1, 2007 7:01 PM
Eric P Goodfellas is my FAVORITE movie of all time. It truly entertains no matter the mood I'm in.
I love how Scorcese's mom whips out the painting she did at the late-night dinner table as well. God I wish I was Italian, maybe in a past life I was a hitman or something.
To think that movie lost Best Picture to Dances with Wolves just kills me!
And I am the only person on this thread who thought Before Sunrise was a nice film but Sunset was totally pretentious.
Posted by: Be Adequite! at June 1, 2007 7:08 PM
You Can Count On Me.
YES.
Posted by: Alex at June 1, 2007 8:23 PM
Winter Solstice to me was exactly like real life (for those who missed it, came out a few years ago on limited release with Anthony LaPaglia and Allison Janney.) The relationship between the father and the two teenage boys was amazingly well written, and the film finishes on a low key note that is not unlife, well, real life.
Heh. It's a great movie, one of my favourites.
Look Both Ways and Looking for Alibrandi are also very real, both Australian films.
Posted by: Anna at June 1, 2007 8:26 PM
"High Fidelity" *is* a scarily accurate book which translated pretty well to the movie, I think. I've loaned it to several women, along with "About A Boy" and I'll get anger and disgust when they're halfway through it. "Keep going!", I'll say. I liked "WHAT fucking Ian guy?" a little better on the page where it seemed to be delivered more like Max Fischer than John's scream, BUT either way the line is completely true.
On the other hand, I really liked "Ghost World" and its characters but reading the comic felt TOO real. I was angry when I read it, because they were such perfectly captured examples of girls I hate. The movie's version of them were much more like girls I kinda wish I knew.
Posted by: Jay at June 1, 2007 11:01 PM
"I'd add "Stand By Me" to the list. What group of guys never tried to believe that any trip outside of their homes could be an adventure as well as life-changing?"
god I hate that movie. Yeah, I was a kid once, and it was NOTHING like that. In fact, if any of the guys I knew were such whiny little annoying touchy feely pussies as those little fucks I'd a HELPED beat their asses.
And I never 'shared a moment' and hugged my best friend while we cried in each other's arms like River Phoenix and the other kid, but then we weren't gay either.
John Cusack was in that movie though. I guess he died in it though before he could taach his brother not to be such a whinging little crybaby.
Posted by: docweasel at June 1, 2007 11:25 PM
Love to see "You Can Count on Me" and "Walking and Talking".
Also echo the inclusion of "We Don't Live Here Anymore".
I would add the relatively unknown "Tully". I love this movie, especially Julianna Nicholson. The relationship between Emma and Tully is one of the most authentic I've ever seen on film.
Posted by: melete at June 2, 2007 6:54 AM
i loved You Can Count on Me and enjoyed most of the films in the list. would add The Squid and The Whale, and Half Nelson despite finding list too America heavy. i know i know, it's what's real for you plus assume a lot of non-US 'real' films don't make it over.
Samantha T - have you seen The Brood by Cronenburg? Or read Cronenburg on Cronenburg? The Brood is his version of Kramer vs Kramer
Don't know if you can get them but some excellent 'real' Australian films are Praise, based on the novel by Andrew McGahan, or Candy based on the novel by Luke Davies. by their nature, local productions are prob going to out-real big studio films.
there's some unreal films which convey very 'authentic' and real emotions and feelings such as Donnie Darko...
Posted by: rosie at June 2, 2007 11:38 AM
You Can Count On Me and The Sweet Hereafter are both way up top on my list.
I'm probably dating myself here, but any shout outs for Over The Edge?
Posted by: Kate at June 2, 2007 12:05 PM
Scott gave Over the Edge a 'shout out' why don't you marry him already?
Posted by: rosie at June 2, 2007 12:20 PM
I also couldn't help but think of "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" the whole time I read this article.
Posted by: mixtapegoddess at June 2, 2007 1:39 PM
Yay for Junebug and You Can Count On Me, and Before Sunset and My Life Without Me are just perfect.
Posted by: Gaby at June 2, 2007 2:55 PM
I'd throw Anchorman out there. Has any other movie captured what it was like to be a TV anchorman in the 70's in California better? For those of us who grew up in that time and circumstance, there's an eerie familiarity to some of the scenes that you just can't shake. And the scenes with the four guys are extremely accurate and heartfelt. I had at least a dozen weatherman friends who could have been Brick Tamland. The leatherbound books, the rich mahogany, jazz flute and obscure panther-based colognes ring true of that time in our lives when reporting the news in the 70's was all we cared about. Adam McKay truly has a way of treating San Dieg-ons as real people who have a heartfelt desire to remain classy, despite the trials and hardships they all have to endure. Definitely add to your Netflix if you haven't seen it!
Posted by: joflow at June 2, 2007 3:43 PM
Funny Ha Ha takes place in Allston, not Cambridge.
Posted by: Iziolous at June 2, 2007 5:23 PM
Mike Leigh's Secrets and Lies - brilliant, naturalistic performances from all involved - and a truer rendering of a dysfunctional (yet not unusual) English family I have yet to see.
Posted by: L2 at June 3, 2007 9:39 PM
Plus another British film, Shane Meadows's A Room for Romeo Brass (1999) - two of the best and most realistic performances by child actors ever (plus an amazing, menacing turn by Paddy Considine)... a very under-rated and under-seen piece of work.
Posted by: L2 at June 3, 2007 9:47 PM
I didn't scan all the comments, so this may have been said already, so if I'm just preaching to the choir I apologize. But I have to say that in my experience, I've never related to a film and its characters better in my life than High Fidelity and American Splendor. Perhaps American Splendor is stricken from contention here because it is, in part, a sort of documentary. But High Fidelity must be included on this list. It helped make sense of things for all us wandering misanthropes and really put the perfect punctuation mark at the end of the affected Cusack idiom.
Posted by: Brett at June 3, 2007 11:52 PM
Victor Nunez' Ruby In Paradise.
Usually when a film features blue-collar characters, it's just a jumping off point; they find a big bag of money, or get caught up in some silly mob hit - and their "real lives" get left far behind.
In this film, no cars get blown up, nobody dies - it's just the best presentation of what it's like to make $5.50 an hour, and be happy to get it.
It was Ashley Judd's first (and,IMHO, best) performance. But the film has gotten lost, since, for some unknown reason, it is not on DVD.
Posted by: Play-D'oh at June 4, 2007 12:20 AM
I like this guide, its a good one. I am always looking for films that are 'real life'. Of Course, You Can Count on Me is up there as one of my favs. I am going to agree with all those that said Kicking and Screaming. Another film that feels "real" to me is The Big Chill, I want them as my friends.
Posted by: Beth at June 4, 2007 2:44 AM
You Can Count On Me was so amazing! I'm going to have to throw Bubble in too (I didn't read the whole thread, I don't know if someone mentioned it already)
Posted by: Beth S at June 4, 2007 1:48 PM
Walking and Talking is excellent (with soundtrack by my all-time fave Billy Bragg) but I have to agree with those who question a top ten "feels real" list with no Mike Leigh on there? Everything is incredibly authentic in his stuff. The ordinary people (note: bad teeth on some), the houses, the clothes, the dialogue. It feels like voyeurism it's so real.
Posted by: PaddyDog at June 4, 2007 6:18 PM
Breaking Away was very real to me. It came out the year I graduated high school so I identified with the four guys in the story. I knew guys like Mike the football player who blew his chances, and the little townie character Jackie Earle Haley played, right down to the sweet girlfriend. I kind of wish they could do a sequel -- where are they all now -- but alas, Steve Tesich (who won the Oscar for Best Screenplay for this very film) died several years ago. Actually, someone (I nominate Sean Penn) needs to make a flick about Tesich himself. His sister has a webpage about him and how his life changed after the Oscar. He wrote a really wonderful, underrated picture called "Four Friends" that is supposed to be semi-autobiographical. Craig Wasson starred, another whatever-happened-to casualty of Hollyweird indifference.
Posted by: Matt at June 4, 2007 11:24 PM
I loved Breaking Away, and Four Friends came really close to making this list -- I thought a couple of plot points were a bit too surreal, but that's a great movie.
Posted by: JMW at June 5, 2007 8:58 AM
Breaking Away - great movie. I live in Bloomington where it was filmed.
Posted by: harmonov at June 5, 2007 2:03 PM
i am so happy to see that others have seen Nobody Knows! it's brilliant! i just re-read my post and noticed that i would like to apologise for the amount of times i used the word "incredible". My vocabulary suffers in moments of enthusiasm.
another Japanese film which i hold in equally high, or even higher esteem is All About Lily Chou Chou-extremely long winded and meandering, but absolutely wonderful and passively sad and dreamy. It's like a three hour long song (a good one though, no wanky solos). It's probably my favourite film ever.
Posted by: hug at June 5, 2007 4:23 PM
Yeah, I stoppe reading this list after Sideways. Are you kidding me!? Such a terrible movie, I can't get over how unbelievably overrated it is. Boooooooo!
Posted by: Tony at June 5, 2007 6:03 PM
Besides Killer of Sheep, I really don't think the rest of these films apply to folks outside of the usual 'suburbia refugee'. Just thought you might know.
Posted by: Sphira at June 6, 2007 5:15 PM
First of all Junebug was an incredible letdown.
I think people mistake it for a realistic portrayal of life because of the sad ending with the miscarried baby and dull relationship she has with Ben Mackenzie(But of course we all know he still loves her because he is willing to tape her favorite animal on TV. whatever)Just because everything doesn't turn out peachy in a movie doesn't mean it should be hailed as a great piece of cinema. Second of all You Can Count on Me was shit. It was full of rolling your eyes moments due to the corny and unoriginal storyline. "A responsible and a wild sibling who come to appreciate eachother for who they are." Please. And the ending- I just about nearly puked.
Posted by: nicole at June 9, 2007 3:54 PM
This is a little scary, but the most realistic movie I've seen is Welcome to the Dollhouse. I saw it when I was in my late teens, and it reminded me of my twelve-year-old self so horribly and accurately that I couldn't watch it straight on -- I hid my face in my hands and peeked through my fingers. Which is not to say that my life was quite as fucked up as Dawn Wiener's was, but still...gaaah. I am SO GLAD I'm not in middle school anymore. And I haven't had the courage to watch it since.
Posted by: Heqit at June 10, 2007 12:03 AM
no Beautiful Girls?
Posted by: tom at June 10, 2007 12:56 AM
The first movie I thought of when I saw the title of this list was Kids. It's probably mostly becuase I am a teen, and I live in a big city, but everything from the dialouge, to the plot, to the characters reminded me of a normal summers day. I will admit I am not on the honor roll, but I am a thourogly average teenager. And I have had many days, and many conversations like the ones portrayed in that movie.
Posted by: Brigid at July 7, 2007 8:50 PM
