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Your Biggest Pet Peeve: The Hate Eight

By Brian Byrd | Miscellaneous | April 2, 2015 | Comments ()

By Brian Byrd | Miscellaneous | April 2, 2015 |


article-2269377-1734E5B9000005DC-563_634x400.jpg

Home stretch. Only eight peeves remain from the original 64. A spot in the Frustrating Four — and annoyance immortality — is within reach. Favorites are finally playing like favorites, dispatching double-digit underdogs with relative ease. Now the choices get tougher. The days of glancing at the contenders and quickly clicking the obvious option are over. More thought is required, more responsibility. The Frustrating Four is sacred ground. Peevalhalla, if you will. Don’t soil it with your recklessness. Stop, think, then vote.

Just kidding. We don’t even do that when electing the people who run our country. Why hold an online peeve tournament to a higher standard?

Schedule
Round of 64 (Part 1) CLOSED
Round of 64 (Part 2)CLOSED
Round of 32 CLOSED
Sour 16CLOSED
Hate Eight — Voting ends Sunday at noon PT
Frustrating Four — Monday, April 6
Championship — Wednesday, April 8
Peeve 8.jpg
(click to embiggen)

TYROIL SMOOCHIE-WALLACE REGION
No. 2 - People Who Make Up Ridiculous Names for Their Kids
No. 8 - Mobile Ads that Automatically Direct to an App Store

The two peeves vying for a spot in the Frustrating Four out of the TSW region absolutely earned their spot. No. 8 Mobile Ads that Direct to an App Store nipped dark horse title contender Disinterested Commenters, 52-48, while Airrlyn, Brintleigh and Zqak escaped powerhouse No. 6 seed Characters Who Act Dumb Just to Advance a Plot. Both are deserving regional champs. Only one can advance. Obviously. It’s a single-elimination tournament. There’s no losers’ bracket. If there was, you know what would fill it up? Your moms.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPS REGION
No. 3 - Losing Your Keys or Wallet
No. 8 - People Who Use Their Phone in a Theater

Ten votes. Ten out of 1,379 cast. That’s all that kept People Who Play Music Without Headphones from a shot at the Frustrating Four. Just a crushing loss. (Green Day’s “Time of Your Life” plays through a shitty iPhone speaker). No such drama for People Who Use Their Phone in a Theater, which gradually phased out Corporate-Speak, 69-31. Perhaps the No. 8 seed’s sterling tournament performance is a grassroots campaign to disrupt the launch of theatr, the new social networking app from Plankton Technologies?

L’CARPETRON DOOKMARRIOTT REGION
No. 3 - Parking Across Two Spots
No. 9 - Having to Create an Account to Do Anything Online

Bring forced to provide personal information to access goods and services online is worse than people who throw garbage on the ground? Damn, y’all lazy. Chrome Autofill is a thing that exists. Get on it. Regardless, the No. 9 seed’s victory over No. 4 Litterers sets up a potential classic against Parking Across Two Spots, a Hate Eight matchup that feels like it should be the championship game.

STUMPTAVIAN ROBOCLICK REGION
No. 4 - People Who Drive Slow in the Fast Lane
No. 7 - People Who Say They Hate Something They’ve Never Seen or Experienced

Thank Christ something shut off Car Alarms. It took fellow Vehicular Conference member People Who Drive Slow in the Fast Lane to finally disconnect the 16 seed’s battery, 62-38. Keep your chin up, Car Alarms. You made Pajiba Pet Peeve history as the first No. 16 seed to advance to the third round. That matters. (It does not matter, loser). People Who Say They Hate Something They’ve Never Seen probably deserves a better fate than being chopped up by the Slow Drivers buzzsaw. Yet here we are.


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