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You Can Stop Believing: The Collapse of American Society is Nigh

By Seth Freilich | Miscellaneous | February 23, 2011 | Comments ()

By Seth Freilich | Miscellaneous | February 23, 2011 |


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In 1968, Discovery Publishing, a ministry of the Peninsula Bible Church, published an article by Ray C. Stedman. And I don't love Stedman just because he recognizes that the progeny of Seth, the oft-forgotten third son of Adam and Eve, is the genetic line "of the godly" (hear that women? come get some!). No, I love Stedman because his "Signs of Collapse" looked at the first five chapters in Genesis for "a description of the signs that accompany the imminent collapse of a civilization," and in doing so, Stedman identified "three steps traced for us that mark the signs of the imminent collapse of civilization."

Gather round parishioners of Pajiba, for I'm here to tell you that, by Stedman's calculus, the end is near.

1. Demonic Invasion. Stedman has to parse through some apparently more commonly-accepted interpretations of portions of Genesis to come to this conclusion that the part of the reason for the Great Flood was because of demons on Earth. And demons are bad because the Bible "strongly suggests that demonic possession has the ability to affect genetic structure." He he even cites a Time Magazine report, so I'm on board with this conclusion as it's obviously well-grounded. And Stedman declares that God doesn't like "the invasion of demonic powers into mankind," which is pretty understandable. If I were God, I'd be down on demonic invasions, too. Fuckers' stick their pitchforks in everything.

Anyway, demons are the first sign. Demonic invasion? Check.

2. Widespread Wickedness. This one's much simpler. Vast and widespread wickedness is bad, where wickedness is understood to be, according to Stedman's quote from the book of Galatians (I'll ignore the fact that we're supposed to be sticking with Genesis but have suddenly jumped to the New Testament): "immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spiprit, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like."

Those demons that have invaded us, they exemplify every one of these things, readers. Every week this widespread wickedness is on full display.

3. Evil Imaginations. So basically, the demons invade, and outward, phsyical wickedness abounds. And that wickedness rests "upon a deeper corruption within," the corruption of thought:

The "imaginations of the heart" are the desires and urges for ever more stimulating experiences, what Paul calls in Ephesians "deceitful lusts," which constantly urge men and women, boys and girls, to try to find something more exciting; what in modern parlance we call kicks, something that satisfies and is exciting. Now this urge for kicks constitutes debased imaginations. They would find expression in any society in the creative arts, those which depend upon imagination for their motivation and expression, such as literature, art, and drama.

Those with debased imaginations find expression in the creative arts? Drama?

...Yup, we're fucked.

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And the proof that the Demons of "Glee" have risen to the peak of their powers? In just two years, the show has dethroned the King. Not the King of the Jews, but the King, Elvis. "Glee" has now had an astoundingly unbelievable 113 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart, a record formerly held Mr. Preseley at 108. (Source - TV Squad.)

So what happens now? Stedman says that "the Bible clearly implies that judgment is certain, by divine fiat. We read on in Verse 6:

"And the LORD was sorry that he had made men on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. So the LORD said, 'I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the ground, man and beast and creeping things and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them.'"

Well, I for one am ready to be blotted. Bring it, Lord.

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(GIF via BadTVBlog)


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