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Why We Hate: Character vs. Actor Edition

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (46)



paz-de-la-huerta-1.jpg

Previously on “Why We Hate”: we explored the celebrities we love to hate. I, for example, wished a pox upon the house of my most known mortal nemesis, Lea Michele.

But, there is another.

But, here’s the thing: I cannot decide if it’s Lucy or Paz that is most deserving of my loathing.

Here’s an example of “Boardwalk Empire“‘s own personal Jar Jar in action. (video is of recorded-under-the-bathwater quality and is NSFW)

She’s abysmal. But I have no idea if she’s being written and directed that way, or if it’s a really idiotic character choice on the part of the actor, and no one ever felt like stopping her because of all her boobs. Lucy is definitely supposed to be annoying, but I don’t know if she was always necessarily supposed to be *that* annoying. Because she’s really fucking annoying.

But it’s more than the whiny-pouty-posy Lucy Danzinger. Real-life Paz is fucking nuts. Prone to public lotioning, drunken fuckery, saying ridiculous shit (see the bottom of this post) and being really, really shiny, Paz is a Spirograph of WTF. Read an interview. She tries so goddamn hard to seem interesting, you guys. SO HARD. And she thinks I (yes, me personally) hate her because of her frequent nudeness. Hell, her nudeness is her only reason for being, her one decent quality. Be naked all you want, Pazzy. Just stop talking. Forever. And invest in blot cloths.

For those who want a starter course, this interview is like How to Act Like a Crazy Actor In a Desperate Effort for Attention 101. Here are a few of my personal favorite Paz-isms:

“This construction worker I’ve been fucking has really been keeping me up late.”

“It was like the time I went to Graceland. Elvis’s ghost gave me an orgasm in his recording studio.”

“I don’t even have a computer. I just write in a little book.”

“I don’t watch TV.”

“I love the fact that the present is the only real reality we have, so I don’t have to plan.”

“I can’t share much about the show, but hopefully some of these women who resent me for being naked or in little to nothing will be pleased that I’m knocked up, and they’ll pay attention to the performance. Women have said the most malicious, disgusting things about me. But I know that when somebody comments about you, good or bad, it is 99 percent of the time their projection of how they feel about themselves. Even my own sister treats me worse than somebody would treat a rat. She actually likes rats, so worse than that.”

“[Jack Nicholson]said to me, ‘They don’t make them like you anymore. I haven’t seen a beautiful girl like you since 1965.’”

“Look what just happened to Amy Winehouse! Maybe had she not seen so many bad pictures of herself she would have gotten more self esteem and not been so self-destructive.”

She is the worst/best. So, I open it up. Just like Lucy did with Van Alden. Which characters/actors fill you with chicken/egg confusion—do I hate the performer, or is the character itself actually supposed to make me throw M&Ms at my television?









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Comments

Never waste M&M's! They are drops of chocolatey goodness sent down from heaven.

Posted by: logan at September 27, 2011 2:23 PM

Oddly enough I hate the Lynette character in Desperate Housewives. Such a vile woman. It's so bad the enmity has spilled over onto Felicity Huffman herself. Which is unfair since 1) Sports Night and 2) married to WH Macy so how could she be anything but awesome in real life.

I'm not sure I can ever like her in a role again though. Moral of the Story: don't play humorless bitches on TV for a living.

Posted by: ed newman at September 27, 2011 2:25 PM

Carrie/SJP.

Posted by: pem at September 27, 2011 2:33 PM

I don't really hate any tv characters, but Paz de la Huerta bugs me. The Internet keeps trying to convince me she's sexy because of the drunken slutty nudity, but she looks kind of odd to me, as well as really really shiny, and not in the Firefly sense of the word. Also, she looks like she smells like unfiltered cigarettes, sweat, and day old fajita leavings.

Full disclosure, yes, I do hate myself, but she still bugs me.

Posted by: Groundloop at September 27, 2011 2:35 PM

I had never heard of Paz de la Huerta until I started watching Boardwalk Empire. My first thought was that she was a really talented actor because it takes skill to portray a character that stupid and woozy on a consistent basis (Judy Holiday for instance was marvelous at it). Then I started coming across interviews with her and holy shit,she was exactly the same as her character (even the same immature whiny voice) and, as you mention above, TRYING SO HARD to be this quirky personality who is just so different to everyone else. I've come to the conclusion that she has no range at all as an actor and have moved into full hate mode.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 27, 2011 2:37 PM

Buffy should have been awesome, but I couldn't STAND SMG.

Posted by: Meander at September 27, 2011 2:38 PM

I feel sorry for Paz de la Huerta as everything about her screams that she is a wounded and broken child.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 27, 2011 2:41 PM

Eddie Cibrian (and, by extension, Leann Rimes). They nauseate me, so you can bet I won't be watching "The Playboy Club"...or anything on the Lifetime network that allows Leann to squint around on film.

Posted by: Vanessa at September 27, 2011 2:43 PM

Carrie/SJP is a huge one with me. Do I hate her or just the character? Is she the character? I hated Carrie for so long that I can't separate the two anymore.

Another is January Jones and Betty Draper. I haaate the character. Do I hate the actress? I don't think so. But it's hard to tell.

Posted by: Figgy at September 27, 2011 2:43 PM

I hate Dr. Gregory House so much that my hatred has spilled over to Hugh Laurie. Which is totally unfair, I know. Intellectually, I'm sure Laurie's probably a perfectly decent human being, but thanks to House I can't help but secretly believe he's this massive blue-eyed tool.

Posted by: Another Kate at September 27, 2011 2:49 PM

Ahhh, so true. I truly have no clue if I loathe Betty or 'January' (if that even is her real name). Maybe I'm suppressing intense jealousy at the mystery surrounding her Fassbender baby?

Posted by: gatorgreen32 at September 27, 2011 2:50 PM

What I find truly amazing about BE is how CLEAN they make Paz de a Huerta look. I think that's (during the filming of the show) the only time of the year she showers on a regular basis. They probably sneaked that into her contract.

Posted by: Holly at September 27, 2011 2:52 PM

Kim Bauer/Elisha Cuthbert. I really don't want to hate her, being all sexy and Canadian (and having had a crush on her since I/she was about 13), but after being on 24, playing an insufferable character, she now also seems rather insufferable. Though her new show is not bad, the one episode I saw of it.

Posted by: Bert at September 27, 2011 2:54 PM

Sarah Palin.

Posted by: Paultera at September 27, 2011 2:55 PM

Agree the show House has ruined my formerly positive impression of Hugh Laurie. The Laurie and Fry comedies on BBC were hilarious. I wonder if people on the street now confront him about being such an asshole.

Used to feel loathing for Pam Anderson, but then I learned of her devotion to animal related causes and I had to adjust my attitude.

Posted by: Michelle at September 27, 2011 3:08 PM

Julia Roberts/"Julia Roberts". The woman has no range.

Posted by: Jerry at September 27, 2011 3:31 PM

Oh, and I don't love Eddie Cibrian's characters, or Cibrian himself in particular, but I am quite fond of Eddie Cibrian's ass ever since I first saw it in Living Out Loud.

Posted by: Jerry at September 27, 2011 3:35 PM

Carrie/SJP - everything that there is to say on the subject has already been said.

Juliette Lewis/Mallory Knox. It's not really that I hate her, but Natural Born Killers scared me so much when I was a teenager that whenever I see her, I can't help but think she's about to kill everyone around her. Woody Harrelson doesn't give me the same fear because I saw him in Cheers first. And Woody from Cheers probably wouldn't kill anyone. Probably.

Posted by: Tits McGee at September 27, 2011 3:50 PM

Paz reminds me of an old "friend" of mine. We had known each other since grade school. I am sure she was smart on some level, but she was really annoying. We spent our first year of college commuting together, and having lunch together. I finally had to tell her I didn't want to have lunch with her anymore because she got on my nerves. She is one of those 10 minute people. After you spend 10 minutes with them you pretty much want to kill them, or pray to Godtopus that they are struck dumb and blind, so you don't have to listen to them anymore and they won't be able to find you.

Posted by: MRod at September 27, 2011 4:17 PM

I have a 10 minute "friend" like that, although these past few years it's gotten easier being around her, because she now spends 90% of the time texting so I don't have to listen to her talk as much.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at September 27, 2011 4:31 PM

Christopha' from The Sopranos. He is in those tequila commercials that actively show Patron in the commercials, but is not Patron. Honestly everyone from The Sopranos by the end of the show, not one character I enjoyed watching.
Every character on the L Word after season 1.
All the guys from Cobra Kai, except the one that apologized.
Mr. from The Color Purple, Danny Glover made me puke he was way too good in that. Took a long time to get over that one.

Posted by: daria at September 27, 2011 4:38 PM

Jasmine in Parenthood.

Posted by: Me at September 27, 2011 4:44 PM

Sorry, I'll never get over my loathing for Shelley Long / Dianne Chambers...

Posted by: midas89(heavy) at September 27, 2011 4:54 PM

This woman is not attractive on any level...her mannerisms and appearance scream of sleepless nights/too much nose candy/too little food.

I'll take the other Paz (Vega) any day over this mentally disturbed hag.

Posted by: Barry at September 27, 2011 5:13 PM

it's the uncanny valley

Posted by: Protoguy at September 27, 2011 6:08 PM

Winona/Natalie Zea from Justified. In fact, before she was Winona, she was briefly Jemma on Hung and I hated her then too. Hate, hate, hate. I've never wanted to stab somebody so badly my hand itches before, but I guess there's always a first. Congratulations Winona!

Posted by: Muttley Crew at September 27, 2011 6:15 PM

I kinda DO dig this one just *because* she's weird-looking, bizarre wherever she
shows up, fairly nuts and seems a bit unbalanced. It makes me think she's got
the extra zexy. She's pretty hawt in my book. It is... what it is. Ha!

A hearty *YES* to Jasmine on Parenthood, Diane on Cheers and SJP. I'd like to
tell them to please shut the yapper and sit down.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at September 27, 2011 6:16 PM

Shopping!

Posted by: The Mutt at September 27, 2011 6:26 PM

RE: Paz -- The crazy ones are the best in bed. Everyone knows that.

Posted by: maxwell edison at September 27, 2011 6:47 PM

Yeah, but then they cut your clothes up and handcuff you, naked, to your car

Posted by: Protoguy at September 27, 2011 7:07 PM

@protoguy Of course. But damn, it's worth it.

Posted by: maxwell edison at September 27, 2011 7:17 PM

I don't watch Boardwalk Empire, so I don't have any character quirks biasing me here, but I think Paz de la Huerta is a gem. I am endlessly amused by celebrities who are un-apologetically and unabashedly batshit, as opposed to celebrities who are nutty in a self-loathing or desperate way.

Posted by: Amanda6 at September 27, 2011 7:59 PM

Her batshit is beyond annoying and I really can't look at her face for more than a few seconds without cringing....hate.

Posted by: anon at September 27, 2011 8:52 PM

I'm astounded that no one has mentioned Mary Louise Parker/Nancy Botwin, because we've actually had that little discussion before. The woman herself is so hot and sexy, but the character (and writers, obviously) have completely pissed away whatever sympathy most of us had for her early in the show's run. Amirite?

Posted by: Uriah Creep at September 27, 2011 9:53 PM

So here's something to jiggle your mind grapes, Paz de la Hateher shares the same birthday as Charlie Sheen. Do you know how I know this? Just guess...if you guessed that I, random internet commenter, share the same birthday as these people, you'd be correct! This fact means that there's always something in the back of my mind wondering, just wondering when I'm going to develop a raging drug habit and either start dating porn stars and/or start looking like an amateur porn star who was dropped in a blender myself. I'm hoping it's not anytime soon. I really just cannot afford to spend my money on coke.

Posted by: Golf Club in a Lightning Storm at September 27, 2011 10:32 PM

Juliet/Elizabeth Mitchell on LOST. Dear Lord, I loathed her.

Posted by: Lucie at September 27, 2011 10:48 PM

Uriah Creep Yes! Mary Louise Parker/Nancy Botwin is a perfect example of this. I want so badly to like Mary Louise Parker but I hate Nancy Botwin.

Posted by: Tits McGee at September 28, 2011 2:03 AM

I can't help but react with fury every time I see Tom Berenger, thanks to Platoon. I'm sure he can't be as hateful as his character in that, but my brain will not allow me to give him another chance.

Posted by: Bumwee McGee at September 28, 2011 3:19 AM

Lea Michele- Rachel Berry

Watched the first season of Glee but discovered at the beginning of the second season that I hate that bitch and want to ram my fist down her throat when
A. she sings
B. pouty poses on the red carpet

Charlie Sheen- Charlie Harper

They are one and the same and a sad excuse for a human being

Sarah Palin- Sarah Palin

Yes, she plays a character, is fooling many a conservative idiot, and will be found out

Kardashian fame sluts- Kardashian fame whores

They try to contain their sluttiness on their many shows and just come off as whores

Posted by: kirbyjay at September 28, 2011 10:03 AM

January Jones as Betty Draper. I hate the character, but I also hate her as an actress. She just seems like the world's biggest bitch in real life, but is a god-awful actress on top of it.

Posted by: jonB at September 28, 2011 12:56 PM

Love Hugh Laurie. Hate Dr.House. I have to watch hours of Blackadder to make up for seeing a single episode.

Even though BTVS was my favorite show in High School (I watched it religiously)both Sarah Michelle Gellar and Buffy annoyed me.

I love John Hamm but hate Don Draper.

Posted by: Haystacks at September 28, 2011 1:16 PM

I kind of love her. I know she'll do something horrible and I'll have to take that back, but I think she's just amazing.

Posted by: Nadine at September 28, 2011 2:56 PM

Rachel/Jennifer Aniston... or is it Jennifer Aniston/Rachel.

Whatever way - I dislike them both.

Posted by: layla at September 29, 2011 12:28 AM

I actually know Paz. We went to high school together. A small school, where we all knew each other, in Brooklyn Heights.

She used to come to school, every day, in the same leopard-print outfit. And she was pretentious - yet not smart at all! - back then.

She COULD be a wounded child, as someone up there posited. But she really is the worst.

I do not wish her ill will. But absolutely none of this surprises me. She's... not great.

Posted by: George Costanza at September 29, 2011 7:08 PM

Very nice blog.I like this and will come back very soon.

Posted by: vstabi at October 4, 2011 6:28 PM

请问您能看得出什么意思么,不要翻译拉!

Posted by: Ring joint gaskets at October 9, 2011 11:14 AM