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Which Fictional Characters Do You Most Want to Bone?

By Rebecca Pahle | Miscellaneous | March 11, 2016 |


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Every year, Master of the Brackets Brian Byrd rules with an iron fist over Pajiba’s official (TM) (C) (R) March Madness Tournament. (Last year the subject was “pet peeves,” and you voted people who use their phones in a movie theatre as the group most deserving of being herded onto an island and forced to eat their own feces, because you are A Smart.) He will this year as well, only I’m bogarting proceedings a bit to do a separate March Madness tournament inspired by the Very Serious Discussion Of Which Avenger/Disney Villain/Harry Potter Character/Star Wars Character/Other Star Wars Character Is Best In Bed posts. Because if I don’t stick up for the pervs, who will, except for the entire rest of the Internet?

But the thing is, dear, sweet Pajibans: I need your help. Three of the brackets will be Star Wars characters, Harry Potter characters, and superheroes and superhero-adjacent characters. (Yes, Peggy Carter will be on there. I plan to rig things so the final round is between her and Poe Dameron.) The fourth bracket is “Nerd Culture Kitchen Sink,” and if that’s left up to me I will fill it with nothing but weird shit like types of bread and graphs and the Noid, apparently. So. I want your input. If you want to tickle Deanna Troi’s pickle or alfalfa Aragorn’s sprout, I want to hear about it. (Just in not too much detail, please.) Below, please enter up to five fictional characters (NO REAL PEOPLE. I don’t care how much time you spend thinking about John Oliver’s sex life.) whose fuckability you’d like to see ranked and rated by your fellow Pajibans. I’ll take a look at who is burning the collective Pajiba lions particularly well and make the call as to which 16 characters will be included.

The first round of voting will commence on Thursday, March 17th, so get your gifs ready.


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