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What's the Difference Between New Hampshire and Missouri?

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Miscellaneous | October 20, 2014 |


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From Friday through the early hours of Sunday, New Hampshire burned. Not the whole thing, just the little college town that is home to Keene State College, but we’ll go with the dramatic name drop of the state in favor of specificity because let’s face it, no one except for fifth graders memorizing state capitals can even tell you a city in New Hampshire, including people who live in the state.

See, they had a pumpkin festival. And it turned into a three day riot.

You are not alone in being completely unable to parse those words into something that makes the slightest bit of sense.

Cars were flipped, at least thirty people were injured, clouds of tear gas rained down on the area, the dean of Keene State College declared that they would use video of the violence in order to track down responsible students, and expel major perpetrators, full beer cans were thrown at police, dozens of arrests ensued.

Weirdest thing though. The police didn’t shoot a single person.

WEIRD.

Luckily, social media was there to turn complete insanity into something making a social statement, contrasting the events in New Hampshire with those in Ferguson. Tweets tossed back the exact statements and rationalizations that excused butchery in Missouri, pointing out quite perfectly the biggest difference between the two events. Let’s just say that it didn’t involve a gray area.

You can click here for a wonderful run down of sarcasm so intense that it will give you a mild radiation burn through your monitor.

John Oliver went to town on the events last night (no streaming available yet, unfortunately), and look forward to Stewart and Colbert both jumping on the pile this evening.


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