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We May Have Found the Very Worst Part of the New 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' (And We Can't Blame Michael Bay For It)

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | July 22, 2014 | Comments ()

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | July 22, 2014 |


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I’m trying to be less precious with shows and movies from my childhood. I’ve come to terms with the fact that everything I’ve ever loved will be ruined (sorry) bastardized (sorry) — rebooted or remade. There’s nothing I can do about it, so I may as well accept it, or at least ignore it when possible.

But the end credits song for TNMT is different. This has nothing to do with preserving nostalgia. This song is an affront to ear holes everywhere, and seems to serve the sole purpose of making sure that if you somehow made it to the very end of the movie without your brain bleeding out your eyes, this will get the job done. Watch out for poetry like “”All my brothers tryna get some cheddar. We all want our cut like the Shredder.”

And yes, I’m willing to admit that the TMNT movies of my youth were not without their crappy raps, but that doesn’t mean that I have to like this one. Hell, kids today don’t like our music.

So I feel perfectly content to yell them off my lawn. Live and let listen to sh*tty music, that’s what I always say.


Via Vulture.


Vivian Kane wants to make sure everyone knows that Vanilla Ice raps the words, “Lyrics, fill in the gap,” as if he needed a placeholder and then forgot to go back and finish the song.


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