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USA Beats England 1-1

By Paddydog | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (43)

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So here we are, almost a week into the greatest tournament on Earth. Those of you who are not already deaf from watching three games a day with vuvuzeles buzzing in your ears may have heard the big news: Sofia triumphed over Figgy this morning. Yeah, it was a pretty lame goal, but I also heard something about the Honduran team being completely demoralized by their fans playing Starship tunes outside their hotel room all night long.

Let’s see, what else happened? Well, Brazil put up a surprisingly weak showing against Kim Jong Il FC yesterday: If they continue like this they’re not getting anywhere near the final. Switzerland pulled off the surprise of the day beating Spain (who apparently need to be reminded they’re playing world cup football based on today’s performance), and did you see the Swiss fans? Not so neutral now, are they? France showed just how much they don’t deserve to be in this tournament. ‘Nuff said there. Germany v. Australia managed to be the most boring 4-0 game I have ever seen. Maradona threw a hissyfit today deciding to use this once-every-four-years-we-come-together opportunity to insult both Pele and Michel Platini, despite the fact that Argentina could only limp to a one-nil victory over Nigeria.

And what else? Oh yes. The best English side we have seen in 30 years (according to all the pundits) took the field on Saturday and failed to impress. I have to say, it may be projected anger after BBC spent most of last Friday complaining that BP was being unfairly “picked on” by the Yanks, but I have never seen such support for the US team as I witnessed in my neighbourhood on Saturday: Flags were hung up in houses that never fly flags and loud cheers came from every window when the US scored.

Onward then to the rest of the week: Argentina meets South Korea tomorrow morning (if they lose this one I really believe Maradona will have to be committed into care); Greece plays Nigeria but based on their opening showing it may well be even more boring than the German/Oz game. Les Handballeurs take on Mexico tomorrow afternoon, and the US is back on the field on Friday v. Slovenia.

Note: After we started this series, it emerged that regular Pajiban D-Day runs a very nice blog of the tournament, so we’re keeping this more chatty, fueled by existing internecine Pajiban rivalries just to keep you all on your toes.









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Comments

No one is better at not beating the US than England.

Posted by: Dingles at June 16, 2010 4:41 PM

It's sad and hilarious that NONE of the big teams really did anything impressive this round. This could just be First Round Syndrome, where no one really wants to risk anything while they look at how their opponents do. But, then again, this has been one of the lowest-scoring first rounds EVER, and fuck, not even Brazil did that well. And SPAIN! HA! motherfuckers.

Instead, there's North Korea being all tough, Chile and Honduras having a hell of a fun game (even if we lost, which, meh, we were missing our three best players and Chile deserved it), the Swiss playing the shit out of the Spanish...

I don't know. Part of me is still expecting the big teams to step it up in round 2, but a large part of me is hoping that this is the beginning of a new era of World Cup history: where we're finally gonna get some new teams in the finals and not just the same old arrogant bastards. Just thinking about it today I figured out that I'm not rooting for ANY of the Big Teams this year. I almost want Spain to win so that we get someone different with the cup for once.

And ouch, South Africa suuuuuuucked just now. It's what you get for putting a Brazilian in charge.

Posted by: figgy at June 16, 2010 4:45 PM

...I also heard something about the Honduran team being completely demoralized by their fans playing Starship tunes outside their hotel room all night long.

I told that girl to stop listening to shit music!

Posted by: Cindy at June 16, 2010 4:46 PM

Oh, you and Paddy can blow it out your vuvuzelas.

Posted by: figgy at June 16, 2010 4:48 PM

I think Americans just like cheering for the US. They re-discover soccer every time there's a World Cup, and then promptly forget about its existence. Bonus points this time around, since Americans do love to hate on the British.

Oh, you English are so superior, aren't you? Well, would you like to know what you'd be without us, the good ol' U.S. of A. to protect you? I'll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that's what! If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking German by now! Singing "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles..."

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at June 16, 2010 4:49 PM

These Rob Green jokes are getting out of hand. Over the line, even.

Posted by: TSF at June 16, 2010 4:54 PM

I'm 'muriken, we don't have those things.

Posted by: Cindy at June 16, 2010 4:59 PM

Yeah. The Rob Green jokes need to be dropped. He can't handle them. We need to let him hold on to whatever dignity he has left instead of letting it slip away.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 16, 2010 5:01 PM

Hmm. No comment here about the dramatic five-fold surge in condom sales in South Korea after their team beat Greece? I'm actually kind of disappointed.

http://www.euronews.net/world-cup-nation/302609-south-korea-sales-of-condoms-rise-as-skorea-celebrates/

Posted by: jeem at June 16, 2010 5:15 PM

Yeah.. I guess we're all underwhelmed by pretty much everyone playing.
Let's hope things hit up as the games go on. And, please, let Brazil stay 'till finals so we can leave work early more often!!

Posted by: Mariazinha at June 16, 2010 5:17 PM

Excuse me, but Argentina did not limp to a 1-0 victory. It could have easily been 5-0 had Nigeria's keep Victor Enyeama played the game of his life.

I think North Korea became my favorite team right now.

Posted by: Gus at June 16, 2010 5:22 PM

Brazil was not going to do much versus the Il FC but they will prevail in July.

US will not make the second round.

France will get what they deserved for screwing the Irish.

Go Ivory Coast!!!!

Posted by: richmac at June 16, 2010 5:31 PM

[The Daily Show]

No one is better at not beating the US than England.

[/The Daily Show]

Posted by: branded at June 16, 2010 5:41 PM

jeem, wasn't that the country that was giving their employees holidays so that they could go home and make babies with their spouses because the population was decreasing alarmingly? If so, hey! Guess they should just have crazy football matches more often.

Posted by: Kalexal at June 16, 2010 5:41 PM

You guys are not helping Robert Green by using lines like "slipping away" and "over the line".

Here's the D's take on it anyway;

http://dday02.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/relax-dont-do-it/

Posted by: D-Day at June 16, 2010 5:48 PM

Really D-Day?

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 16, 2010 6:35 PM

I actually feel for the guy, and I hope he gets a chance to make up for the mistake.

At this point, it's going to be a dog fight just to avoid the damn Krauts in the knockout round.

Posted by: D-Day at June 16, 2010 6:41 PM

Chile/Honduras was a great game. And considering that Chile had several scoring opportunities that they failed to capitalize on may come back and bite them in the ass. With Spain losing, go swiss, the field is wide open such that Honduras COULD still move into the second round (missing 3 players or not). Oh, and I do take offense, it's not just Sofia's Chile.. It's MINE! (Vamos La Roja!)

The games have been very exciting and I love the fact that I have to wake up at 4 a.m. to watch the games every day... oh wait, no I don't.. stupid time difference. But it's still worth it.

Posted by: Nico at June 16, 2010 7:00 PM

There always has to be someone coming from left field who scares the bejesus out of one of the favorites. Here it was the Swiss.

I'm hopeful that we can beat Slovenia, and after that Algeria (the Desert Foxes played a bit oddly, and their keeper pulled a boner that enabled the Slovenes to score). I think our chances are still good to advance to the knockout round.

I'm also hoping that Italy and France lose out. Stay tuned!

Posted by: The Wanderer at June 16, 2010 7:05 PM

I got three teams to route for:
1. USA, naturally
2. Portugal, in my blood
3. Mexico, in my wife's blood.

Three games, three ties, and a total of four goals. That's poo.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at June 16, 2010 7:38 PM

Also,
NEW ZEALAND SCORED THEIR FIRST WORLD CUP POINT IN HUMAN HISTORY.

That was alright, I guess.

Posted by: The Only New Zealander at June 16, 2010 7:50 PM

Yeah, the games are pretty boring, but the World Cup is always nice anyway.

I've watched every match except today's South Africa x Uruguay, and right until now there were only three interesting (and not very interesting) matches: USA x England (thanks to Green), Argentina x Nigeria (thanks to Maradona) and Germany's surprising 4-0 against Australia. Which was surprising because Germany doesn't have a really good team, especially not one we would expect to develop such beautiful and clean pays like they did. That should've been Brazil!

As for our lousy performance against North Korea, the only explanation is that it was just a ball possession training. I hope they realize that using that they'll have to play for real some time if we are to get to the quarter finals at least. Which would be a pretty satisfying result for me.

Actually, I liked the game, specially since I was already drunk before it started, and I could yell at Kaká and blow my vuvuzela at strangers on the street while watching the game at a great bar, with really cheap beer. I had forgotten how fun it was the days Brazil plays around here! So I could say Brazil x North Korea was the most fun to watch so far!

Posted by: zito at June 16, 2010 7:50 PM

No no! I'm here too! YAY for New Zealand's first world cup goal ever!

No, but seriously, I didn't watch the game because I was scared of how badly we'd lose. The rest of the world is still trying to figure out how we qualified.

Oh well.

Posted by: The Other New Zealander at June 16, 2010 8:06 PM

Twas a beautiful sight Kiwi! Italy next - may the All Whites be all right on the night.

Posted by: starry at June 16, 2010 8:09 PM

And to think that Windy Welly player wanted to defect to Vanuatu.


And the ball just rolled in. I'm going to consult my four-year-nephew about this, he's clearly mastered the motor skills that are so lacking in our professional athletes these days.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at June 16, 2010 8:21 PM

*Whistles while walking into the room. Whistle slowly stops after seeing the Australia comment. Feels embarrassed. Whispers "we will beat Ghana and the we'll see who is the laughing stock of the world". Turns and leaves*

Posted by: seraf at June 16, 2010 8:37 PM

Hey, good for NZ! We've never scored. Maybe against Spain?

HA.

Posted by: figgy at June 16, 2010 8:38 PM

Its a poor tournament so far but how you manage to criticize the best performance so far; i.e: that of Germany above all others is beyond me!!!
Did you not watch the game?
The only team so far to play good football and you call them boring!
You obviously havent suffered through the rest of the drivel or just do not understand football.

Posted by: supafly at June 16, 2010 9:40 PM

Supafly: the first half of game was not bad. The second half was an exercise in tedium. It doesn't matter that Germany's goals were technically excellent; it kills a game when one team is too dominant and the other team loses the will to live. I am an expert on boring football. I have stood for ninety minutes in the drivng rain watching Bray Wanderers draw 0-0 with Shamrock Rovers on more Saturdays than I care to remember.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 16, 2010 9:50 PM

What the fuck?

Brazil was the only team of the tournament that took 26+ shots on goal. At least they are making an attempt to score. Any of the teams having 4 shots on goal are a disgrace. I understand that many teams were playing the first game simply 'not to lose,' but Brazil had the best goal of the first games with the sliver of an open net from a full sprint. I also like how Netherlands, Spain, and Argentina are playing even if I am not rooting for any of those teams. And yeah, I know that my comment on the first World Cup post mixed up semifinals with quarterfinals with round of 16, but it turns out that I am still not too far off. It is very possible that Spain will meet Brazil in the round of 16.

How Ghana and how Slovenia play will see how far off I am in my Serbia/US prediction, but it's looking to me like Ghana could make it out.

Cameroon was so disappointing as was my Ivory Coast/Portugal faves' match-up.

I haven't seen all the teams playing, but it's South Africa is playing like a high school team. Every pass is being intercepted because they're just standing there waiting for the ball, and taking out the last man with your goalie? I still think that was a bitch move by Suarez, and he is the worst actor on Uruguay's team. I do think they'll go through and I'll root against them even if I wish Diego Forlan personal glory. He might have had a couple of garbage goals today, but he's damn impressive and a classy player.

I think the most remarkable thing of the tournament thusly has been how loose the refs have been with teh yellow cards. I know that these guys are old pros, but doesn't it seem like the yellows are coming out too easily? South Africa today was very physical out of desperation, butI have a feeling there are going to be more suspensions than your average world cup tournament.

Anyway, that's really more than I meant to say. Mostly, I'm really looking forward to the next two days of games.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at June 16, 2010 9:55 PM

Meh, Germany has never been a particularly fun team to watch. They're like giants lumbering around, being all tough and stoic but ultimately just so cold.

Posted by: figgy at June 16, 2010 11:28 PM

It sucks that the one team playing on a World Cup level (my very own Chile) has a better chance to go to the second round if their next two games end up in a tie.

Germany, on the other hand, managed to give me a neat second half (not boring at all but not very distracting either) while I was in a personal celebration. Not even a couple's anniversaries can trump the World Cup.

Posted by: JC at June 16, 2010 11:28 PM

I've watched every match except today's South Africa x Uruguay, and right until now there were only three interesting (and not very interesting) matches: USA x England (thanks to Green), Argentina x Nigeria (thanks to Maradona) and Germany's surprising 4-0 against Australia.

Disagree; I'd add in Paraguay/Italy, Ghana/Serbia and Ivory Coast/Portugal, all of which were honestly really great games.

The low-scoringness is an issue, but that's a lot less to do with the World Cup and a lot more to do with the fact that most major coaches now absolutely adhere to the "possession time wins matches" metric, which is unfortunately statistically true; look how few forwards are getting played by all the major teams, because all they do is score goals whereas a defensive midfielder can defend AND (theoretically, every once in a while) attack!

It's problematic, because the only way to really fix the issue is an out-and-out rules change (probably modifying the offside rule a bit to make offside traps less efficient), and FIFA is insanely conservative about rules changes - look how long it took them to institute carding for diving, and how little the refs want to call it. Ronaldo should have, like, five yellow cards alone by now, and that dude from Uruguay who was diving like a motherfucker today against South Africa should basically never play again, but the refs aren't calling it.

Posted by: mightygodking at June 16, 2010 11:31 PM

My roommate is Slovakian. As in, a Slovakian citizen that is just here for school. I thought he was going to go on a mass-murdering rampage after that NZ goal.

Posted by: TarHeel at June 16, 2010 11:42 PM

yeah, screw Suarez.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at June 17, 2010 12:25 AM

Ivory Coast/Portugal was crazy and all in all one of the more exciting matches.

Holland against Denmark was pitiful, and as a Dutchie I was pretty disappointing. Here's hoping Saturday gives us some more fire. Ths tournament is severely lacking in the fun department. It's all a little bland. That having been said, I've watched about 90% of the matches (thanks to a stellar internet connection at work) and will continue to do so - I hope it picks up though.

figgy I completely agree about Germany. They lack grace on the field. Eh, but maybe I'm a bit biased against them. I know this country would go nuts if they lost all their matches from now on. ;)

Posted by: Mona at June 17, 2010 11:17 AM

"Lacking grace in the field" was the ninety's version of the German team, up until Klinsmann/Loew became coaches.

We got better.

Posted by: FabMax at June 17, 2010 5:08 PM

Yah, I think it's time to drop the cold, mechanical utilitarian cliches. This team has flair, passion and excitement.

And I don't even like them.

Posted by: Brenton at June 18, 2010 2:41 AM

Ok ok fair enough..like I admitted before, I'm biased.

Posted by: Mona at June 18, 2010 10:22 AM

GO YUGOSLAVIA!

Posted by: zito at June 18, 2010 10:58 AM

That was close! Too bad for Charlie Brown.

Posted by: zito at June 18, 2010 11:53 AM

"And ouch, South Africa suuuuuuucked just now. It's what you get for putting a Brazilian in charge."

Didn't get this one. Didn't this coach won a WorldCup with Brazil?

That said, South Africa losing made me incredibly sad. I always cheer for the hosting team to make it to the second round.

Posted by: Holly at June 18, 2010 1:57 PM

Fuck!

Fucking referee!

Fucking Podolski!

Posted by: FabMax at June 18, 2010 5:26 PM