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Today is November 12, 2010, Otherwise Known as BUTTHOLE DAY!

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (59)

buttholeday.jpg

Today is a very special day in the land of Pajiba. Today is the day we celebrate butthole. Oh, butthole: What a wonderful word.What a wonderful thing to say! Butthole.

B-U-T-T-H-O-L-E.

You know what we do on Butthole Day at Pajiba? This, while chanting Butthole, and listening to the Butthole Surfers:

511028583_b34f93ea43_o.gif

This is our 3rd Annual Butthole Day, and if there’s one thing we’ve learned from this yearly tradition, it’s that Buttholes never go out of style. And this year, we’ve added a Mascot to Butthole Day, to help you all celebrate the tradition. Here’s our mascot:

madmengif2.gif

Now, for those of you who might be new to the site, who might not yet be accustomed to our tongue in butthole cheek sense of humor (seriously: Lots of folks taking lots of stuff really seriously around here lately, like the post on the Rachel Weisz/Darren Aronofsky split? what kind of buttholes take that literally?) Butthole Day is simple. It’s a celebration of the greatest word in the English language, a word that everyone loves to say. It rolls of the tongue with a satisfying pop. It dances in our ears. It’s a glorious combination of letters.

Seriously.

Say it. Butthole! Say it loud, say it proud! Butthole. B-U-T-T-H-O-L-E. Butthole! Are you sitting near anyone right now? If so, turn to him or her. Tap on her shoulder. Prepare a serious expression. Clear your throat. And then say it like you mean it. BUTTHOLE!
Has anything ever felt so good to say? It’s so liberating! Yes! Yes! Yes! Butthole!

You got the butthole fever yet?

This man does:

human-centipede1.jpg

Today, the buttholes shall run amok! Run free with your butthole selves. Do the butthole Turk dance. Go to your favorite restaurant and ask for butthole. Go to Home Depot and ask for butthole. Every time you answer the phone today, answer with, “Butthole speaking. How can I help you?” Call your boss a butthole, and tell him it’s OK. You have a free pass. It’s butthole day.

And because it’s butthole day, you don’t have to take shit from anyone.

Now do it, y’all. You know how this works. Get it out of your system. Say it to everyone you know! Butthole! Leave a butthole comment! Leave three! Spill it, jam it, poke it, provoke it. Butthole!









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Comments

Oh my god. Dustin is in THE FUTURE!

Butthole.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at November 12, 2010 8:25 AM

Yes, Dustin. I've got the fever and the only cure is MORE BUTTHOLE.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at November 12, 2010 8:38 AM

I love that the Human Centipede segments are wearing underwear in that picture. Can that underwear even be changed due to having a mouth attached to your butthole? Yeah, I've put a little too much thought into this.

How do they pee and replenish fluids? I might have to go see the movie for the answers.

Posted by: Porkchop Express at November 12, 2010 8:39 AM

What a butthole! I should have known once I scrolled down that the Human Centipede would be awaiting me.

Posted by: Uda at November 12, 2010 8:40 AM

Human Centipede will be streaming on Netflix soon. And then I shall watch it. And I shall shout from the rooftops, "BUTTHOLE SUTURES!"

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at November 12, 2010 8:41 AM

I'm working on the Butthole Day carols right now.

Fa la la la la la la la BUTTHOLE.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at November 12, 2010 8:55 AM

There have some been some really chapped buttholes around here lately. Let's lower the temperature of our buttholes, people.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at November 12, 2010 9:03 AM

If there ever were an official Butthole dance, that would be it.

Also, the images, a review:

Yes.
YES.
NOOOOOOOooooooo.

Butthole.

Posted by: Vermillion at November 12, 2010 9:03 AM

Listen you butthole-that mascot is not a butthole. A butthole is what my dog sniffs. A butthole is what I reluctantly have to tug twine from when said dog eats an entire pork roast off the counter. A butthole is some commenter who doesn't understand the subtle nuances of sohpisticated sarcasm involving poop jokes. A butthole is the jackass who attempted to cut into a two mile line of traffic to get in front of me at the exit this morning. A butthole is the client who insisted I drive two hours to a meeting so they wouldn't have to pick up a phone. A butthole is like a black hole only less dense and racist. A butthole is the adjective that makes surfers bearable. A butthole is a commenter who thinks a stupid hack list warrants a post this long.

That mascot is in fact a fine, fine ass. surrounding a butthole of course. BUTTHOLE!!!

Posted by: Mrcreosote at November 12, 2010 9:04 AM

"Butthole" is my "moist". Really hate that word. Carry on, 'jibans.

Posted by: TylerDFC at November 12, 2010 9:04 AM

To butthole, or not to butthole: that is the butthole:
Whether 'tis nobler in the butthole to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous buttholes,
Or to take buttholes against a sea of buttholes,
And by opposing end them? To die: to poop;
No more; and by a poop to say we end
The butthole-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That buttholes are heir to, 'tis a flatulence
Devoutly to be butthole'd.

Even Shakespeare is better with a little butthole.

Posted by: stardust at November 12, 2010 9:33 AM

Brian:
"Your All Buttholes!"

One Individual:

"well I'm not!"


Posted by: Magiel at November 12, 2010 9:33 AM

Heeeeee! MrFig just walked into the room and I went "BUTTHOLE" at him out of the blue, and he gave me a hilarious confused/outraged look.

"Heee!"
"...."
"Pajiba told me to do it."
"It IS a cult. What if Pajiba told you to go jump off a bridge!"
"I would! it's fun!"
"What if it told you to give them all your money!"
"I WOULD! They deserve it!"
"What if Pajiba told you to tell your husband he's a butthole!"
"I didn't call you a butthole! I just SAID butthole! It's a fun word."
"Butthole"

SUCCESS!

Posted by: figgy at November 12, 2010 9:36 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76yWZcsgwF8


The early '90s were a gateway into a dirtier form of the late '60s.

Posted by: Recondite at November 12, 2010 9:36 AM

I prefer to pronounce it buh-THO-lay.

Class this place up a little.

Posted by: , at November 12, 2010 9:38 AM

I'm also utterly mesmerized by that second gif. Good heavens.

Posted by: figgy at November 12, 2010 9:41 AM

"Pajiba told me to do it."
"It IS a cult. What if Pajiba told you to go jump off a bridge!"

I read that line as, "What if Pajiba told you to go jump off a fridge?"

And I momentarily thought to myself, I'd consider that. It's what, six feet off the ground? Less if you turn the fridge sideways, or use a dorm fridge.

But never a bridge. Not unless I was on fire and it was only a very low bridge over a very small stream.

Posted by: Wednesday at November 12, 2010 9:44 AM

Recondite,

Thanks, butthole, that was glorious! Between the Donovan/Surfer-rock and the shot of amaretto in my coffee and the Pajiholiday, I think I can face the world.

Posted by: , at November 12, 2010 9:45 AM

BUTTHOLE! You made my day, nay, my week.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 12, 2010 9:50 AM

I'm a butthole, you're a butthole, wouldn't you like to be a butthole too?

Posted by: Jadine at November 12, 2010 9:56 AM

Pajiba tells people to jump off of fridges on bridges? What a bunch of Dr. Seussian BUTTHOLES!! This is just a fun day.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at November 12, 2010 9:56 AM

Wait a minute now. That mascot's all very well for the gay ladies and the straight guys. What about the rest of us? Surely there's some Viggo butthole wandering around the webs somewhere. I'm boycotting this thread until we get get some recognition of our needs. Come on ladies.

What do we want? Viggo butthole
When do we want it? NOW!

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 12, 2010 9:57 AM

It's fucking Butthole Day already?!?! Seems like just last week I was throwing buttholes around willy-nilly, but no, it really was a hole year ago wasn't it?

I'd like to take this time to acknowledge some special veterans of Butthole Days past who helped make this country what it is today:

Pajiba.com: Record broken in 2009 for most times "butthole" written in one post (total number is rumored to be "uncountable" by internet scientists).

Democrats: Record set in November 2000 and set again in November 2004 for simultaneous shrieking of the word "butthole" when the election results were finalized. (NOTE: Incredulous utterances of "butthole" leading up to the final declaration do not count toward the overall total.)

Canadians: For being the tender year-round caretakers of the word until its annual unveiling on Butthole Day. These people REALLY love their butthole.

Jan Kowalczyk: Polish immigrant called Hitler a "butthole" 5,693 times on this day in 1939 when he heard about the German invasion of his homeland. He had been stuck at sea for 3 months and coincidentally didn't hear the news until Butthole Day.

Posted by: Kballs at November 12, 2010 10:06 AM

A true butthole story:

On the beaches here in Florida we have these little tiny clams called coquinas. They burrow into the sand and when a wave washes out over them, a little hole is left in the sand. When I was a toddler, probably two or three year old, I used to toddle down the beach, bend over and put my finger on the coquina hole, and exclaim "Butthole!"

That's right. I was klassy from the beginning.

Posted by: stardust at November 12, 2010 10:06 AM

Buttholes to the left,
Buttholes to right,
Shake 'em all around!

Posted by: danger_mouse at November 12, 2010 10:18 AM

oh glorious Butthole Day, better than frickin' Christmas.

Anus, rectum, sphincter, colon exit, BUTTHOLE!

Posted by: Thaf at November 12, 2010 10:19 AM

This day calls for dingleberry pies.

Posted by: sars at November 12, 2010 10:20 AM

How appropriate that I should find this after seeing the Nielsen result for "Terriers" Wednesday. The Nielsen system is a collective butthole. Nielsen participants who watched other shit in the "Terriers" timeslot are malodorous mouth-breathing buttholes. Can a butthole mouth-breathe? Is that phrase redundant, or is it a koan? What the hell is wrong with buttholes?

BUTTHOLES.

Posted by: ALR at November 12, 2010 10:22 AM

Not another Godtopus damned picture of that Godtopus damned BUTTHOLE movie! Dustin, you are a BUTTHOLE.

Posted by: Cindy at November 12, 2010 10:42 AM

Ok the nominations for butthole of the year just came in, and they are:

Keith Olbermann: for being a self important butthole
Glenn Beck: a conspiratorial butthole
George Soros: a spooky butthole
BigTodd: a non-spelling butthole
Nancy Pelosi: a toxic butthole
The Teaparty: non-liberal buttholes

***BREAKING NEWS***
This just in. Mel Gibson has been disqualified. It has been discovered that he is in fact, a racist prick and not a butthole at all.

Coming soon Butthole of the decade.

Posted by: BigTodd at November 12, 2010 10:46 AM

I'd love to get in on all this butthole fun, and proclaiming "butthole" to everyone around me. I really would.

But I can't.

Because I cannot... stop... watching... the booty...

Dear lord.

Posted by: Perfect Tommy at November 12, 2010 10:47 AM

My Friday is being a fucking butthole. And not in a good way, boys. So I think I'll work on rewriting the Safety Dance. Cue the reverb.


Bbbbb
Uuuuu
Tttttt
Hhhhhh (all those T's up there will have to serve dual purpose)
Oooooo
Lllllll
Eeeeeee

Dance!

After all, the opening lines are

"We can dance if we want to.
We can leave your friends behind."

Kind of the antithesis of the human centipede.

Posted by: slower lower at November 12, 2010 11:10 AM

I agree, Tommy. Someone please cue "The Booty Song" by Tim Wilson.

Posted by: Codeman at November 12, 2010 11:13 AM

Hey, if we are going to play music I think we need to start with The Butthole Surfers

Posted by: Yossarian at November 12, 2010 11:17 AM

That glorious butt gif should not be put so close to the Human Centipede picture. I got whiplash when my shit-eating grin turned into a scowl at record speed. Butthole.

Posted by: Paultera at November 12, 2010 11:18 AM

The whole exercise is simply to Boo-TOLL-ian to partipate in.
B* [rrrrriiiipppp}

Posted by: Ms MoMo at November 12, 2010 11:23 AM

Good Gawd. Who moved that coffee? Typos ahoy!

This whole exercise is just simply too Boo-TOLL-ian to participate in.
B* [rrrrriiiipppp}

Posted by: Ms MoMo at November 12, 2010 11:25 AM

Thank you so much for not using a GIF of the Human Centipede picture. *shudder*

BUTTHOLE!

Posted by: pickled tink at November 12, 2010 11:31 AM

Thank you so much for not using a GIF of the Human Centipede picture.

Well, I'm going to go ahead and take that as a challenge. Thank you for the homework assignment.

Posted by: TK at November 12, 2010 11:47 AM

I am curious, if someone is a Butthole every other day of the year, what do you call them on Butthole Day?

Posted by: danger_mouse at November 12, 2010 11:55 AM

The Human Centipede makes my butthole sad.

The fine, fine ass of Christina Hendricks makes my butthole happy.

Preferring to keep my butthole happy, I'll keep my thoughts on the lovely Ms. Hendricks.

PS. BUTTHOLE!!

Posted by: Groundloop at November 12, 2010 11:56 AM

Meh.

I've seen better butts.

And shouldn't the mascot be an ACTUAL butthole and not a pair of flabby buttocks? Bah

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2010 11:58 AM

I am curious, if someone is a Butthole every other day of the year, what do you call them on Butthole Day?

Answer:

TK, Doctor of Butthole with a PhD in Applied Assclownery

Posted by: Kballs at November 12, 2010 12:17 PM

The beauty of Butthole Day is not just getting to say butthole in a gratuitous manner, but it is the celebration of living like a 12 year old for the day. Today, when I giggle at poop and fart jokes like I always do, I will not feel a slight sense of shame. I will revel in my juvenile sense of humor, with the knowledge that my fellow butthole brethren are giggling and snickering like dorks as well. I will also enjoy the fact that I just added butthole to my work computer's list of words that no longer alert the spellchecker. It's the little things buttholes.

Posted by: katy at November 12, 2010 12:53 PM

BUTTONHOLE!!
No wait... Shit....

Posted by: Odnon. at November 12, 2010 2:21 PM

Look I love Christina Hendricks, Especially that fantastic butthole of hers. But Mascot for Butthole Day? Stacey Dash...Period.

Posted by: Blank at November 12, 2010 2:27 PM

*psy*

PAWGs

Posted by: psy at November 12, 2010 3:49 PM

imagine there's no buttholes...
it's brings a tear to my (brown) eye

no wipes by the crapper
on the roll, just one-ply

imagine all the brown eye-eee-eyes!
winking in your face!

whooo-hooo-oooo-oo-oo

you may say i'm a butthole
but i'm not the only one

i hope some day you will wipe yours
so your butt can toot its horn!

Posted by: stopthemadness aka Angry Black Lady at November 12, 2010 4:02 PM

Um....wait isn't Butthole Day on the 6th!?

Posted by: Luke at November 12, 2010 4:49 PM

*

Posted by: AmbroseKalifornia at November 12, 2010 4:51 PM

teehee ^ it's a butthole

Posted by: Blank at November 12, 2010 5:26 PM

I prefer the term 'ring-piece', but I will cave, just this once.


BUTTHOLE.

Posted by: Frank_247 at November 12, 2010 6:07 PM

Actually, I'm really kinda depressed that you couldn't have waited just one more day to mark ButtHole Day.
'Cuz then ButtHole day would be my birthday, and I would get to celebrate Christina's beautifically plump ass as a birthday gift.

You cruel bastards, you.

Posted by: Rykker at November 12, 2010 7:56 PM

BUTTHOLE!!!

Posted by: Rykker at November 12, 2010 8:04 PM

The. . .ummm. . .colour red seemed to have robbed me of my wits. sigh.

Posted by: idleprimate at November 12, 2010 8:16 PM

Dadonkadonk!

Posted by: Uriah Creep at November 12, 2010 9:17 PM

I don't mean to be a dick or to especially be that guy... and in no way am I claiming to be more mature than anyone here by any means (I sincerely mean that)... and this is hands down my favorite site ever... but am I the only one that doesn't think this whole butthole fascination is funny?

I'm sorry... I already regret posting this. I don't mean to be a buzzkill. I just don't get it.

Posted by: too embarrassed to put my normal name at November 13, 2010 2:53 AM

I don't mean to be a buzzkill.

Oh, I dunno. I think it's probably OK to celebrate Butthole Day by actually being a butthole, if only to give your fellow Pajibans the joy of pointing and exclaiming.

Posted by: Rykker at November 13, 2010 3:45 AM

I totally forgot to send out Happy Butthole cards this year. To my friends and family, I aplologize.

But Happy Sphincter Day!! (the day after Butthole Day.)

Posted by: Uriah Creep at November 13, 2010 6:58 AM