This Is the View of Heidi Klum's Bikini from Heidi Klum's Vantage Point
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This Is the View of Heidi Klum's Bikini from Heidi Klum's Vantage Point

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | July 5, 2012 | Comments ()


Put down your legs, woman! I can't see the water. Have some consideration!

(Via Heidi Klum's Twitter)

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • David Sorenson

    Y'all remember the Tex Avery wolf reaction? That's pretty much what I did after viewing that picture. Well every time I looked at that picture. Had to look several times to make sure it was caused by the picture and not an allergic reaction or something.

    Side note: Pounding your head repeatedly with a mallet and having your eyes swell to fifty times their normal size? Incredibly painful. Not painful enough for me to stop looking at that picture, but painful.

  • the_wakeful

    Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.

  • Strand

    If I inhabited Heidi Klum's brain (John Malkovich-style), I'd never leave.

  • Rooks

    After three (or was it four? Or even five?) nationally embarrassing and cerebrally crippling seasons of Germany's Next Topmodel it is pretty clear to everyone that in this pretty head there is no brain for you to inhabit. There is simply nothing behind these eyes.
    I guess you could accomplish your mission "Dave"-style, though. I, for one, am pretty convinced that Heidi is really only a humanoid spaceship. Exhibit A: The picture above. No real human female looks like that after growing up surrounded by Schnitzel and Bratwurst, then starving herself to size zero and then having almost half a dozen children. Human skin doesn't do the things that hers apparently accomplished, her army of personal trainers be damned.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Yeah, because you couldn't figure out how.

  • Jezzer

    Her boobs look like a butt.

  • lowercase_ryan

    HAHAHAHA I thought the same gd thing

  • e jerry powell

    Someone has been keeping up the Brazilians between birthing Seal cubs.

  • BWeaves

    First thoughts:

    1. Hairy legs.
    2. What are those blisters on her left thigh?
    3. Her panty elastic has failed.
    4. Why does she have plumbers butt under her chin?
    5. Why is her left arm a chicken wing?
    6. I want that turtle float.

  • lowercase_ryan

    #3 is NOT a negative. and WTF do chicken wings look like where you are??

  • loool

    2/10 would not bang

  • David Sorenson

    If you don't get this, look it up.

  • Dave Dorris

    Hey, for a gay guy to give her 2 points... that's not bad!

  • lool

    p, li { white-space: pre-wrap; }

    I'm a woman and its a stupid joke

    Heidi is fantastic , i would kill to have a body like that.

    The fact that she had 4 children makes it even more impressive

  • L.O.V.E.

    Wait, is that one of those memi things all the kids are talking about?

    Also, the elastic is not failing. Its tight on her hips. Its just that her stomach is so flat that it does not distend like the average woman, and thus is not stretching out the elastic in the front.

    Oh look, a yellow floaty humping a crocodile!

  • Aaron Anthony

    You are completely and utterly full of shit. That is all.

  • Barry

    This is the body of a woman who's pumped out four chidren? And drinks beer? Gahhhhhhhhhh

  • zeke_the_pig

    I don't buy it. That is a pre-drunk beer, and those were pre-pumped children.

  • InternetMagpie

    And Heidi further endears herself to me by not shaving/waxing her thighs. YOU GO, HEIDI.

  • blackmarket

    In this picture her cleavage looks kinda like a buttocks. It's like some freaky creature from a Cronnenberg film. Or maybe I'm the freaky creature.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    That's one of the points of breasts: looking like buttocks.

  • BierceAmbrose

    I am now also envious of Heidi Klum, because of the view.

  • bleujayone

    That's no body of water, it's Seal crying a river out of his eyes after realizing what he let get away.

  • Mrcreosote

    Look at that cool turtle float the kid ont he left has! I'll bet that thing is awesome on the water. You know when you're floating out there staring at Heidi Klum. She's also drinking a beer. I approve of models drinking beer.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    There could be a child drowning and we would never know! Why Won't Heidi think of the children!?

  • lowercase_ryan

    fuck the children, it looks like her elastic is about to fail.

  • Stephen Nein

    What are those things? They're not legs.

  • Orleanas

    Right on! That, too, was my first response.

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