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The Weekly Caption Contest

By Michael Murray and Replica | Miscellaneous | September 28, 2012 | Comments ()


Screen Shot 2012-09-28 at 9.37.46 AM.png

Once again, genius sprang forth from the voices that are Pajiba. You folks are a rainbow of brilliance and glitter and knives. It's a true fact.

For those that need a reminder, this is the image from last week:

old.png

This week I have narrowed it down to a top five and they are as follows:

5. Sara_Tonin00

Holy hells do I love the weekly caption contest.

(mswas was robbed)

Sarah, you have captured something vital and true here, the weekly caption contest is as awesome as a cheeseburger. It's like the Niagara Falls of the Internet. You are brilliant to have seen this and to have the courage to articulate it. You are a hero to me. And yes, you're right, mswas was robbed. The Gods of the Pajiba Caption Contest (Replica and me) are capricious Gods and we mete out a justice that is impenetrable and unpredictable. You get fifth place.

4. Lb

I want to frame this picture and put it in my office. And, when I'm having a rough day, I want to look at it and marvel for just a minute. In that minute, I will appreciate the tube sock/hiking boot take on Santa's boots, the Christmas appropriate cross necklace selection, the subtlety Christmas pumps. I will let the picture take me back to the best reality tv show of all time, "I Pity the Fool.". And then, because no moment of joy is complete without a little sadness, I will yearn for my own Gentle Giant (tm).

Lb, I want to know what you do in your office. I bet it's something pretty fantastic, or at least something that would be pretty fantastic if it weren't for your prick-face boss. I hate the prick-face boss. The prick-face bosses should be pushed over Niagara Falls by rabid, swollen rats that swim. I need to say that I love your precise fashion deconstruction of Mr.T. You have the eye of an artist, are brilliant to recall the brief, shining star that was the great reality show, "I Pity the Fool," and for your touching wisdom in seeing that in all joy there is a little sadness. And so for you, I give you a picture of a sexy interpretation of something old and Greek.

illiad.jpeg

3. L.O.V.E.

"4:00, Lincoln Bedroom. Ronald should be asleep by 3:30. Bring your 'A-Team'."

L.O.V.E is always awesome, a master at this craft and each week I look forward to his creative, hilarious and entirely super submissions. As a reward I bestow upon you a photo of Ronald Regan and Marilyn Monroe, the relationship of which was the true root cause of the Nancy Regan/Mister T sex tape. L.O.V.E. please note the creepy faces in the background of the photo and tell me what they might mean. And a millions props and gang signs for the images you provided, which as always, were excellent.

reganmonroe222.jpeg

2. EricD

Mr. T finds out what Reagan really meant by the 'trickle down' effect.

This one made me laugh so hard I spit out two of the peanuts I was eating. Well done, EricD, well, goddamn done!

1. Bert_the_Pajibian

"Twas the night before Christmas, in the house that be White,
First Lady taking pictures with Santa in tights.
He's a little surreal, he's more than a man,
He delivers kids presents from a badass black van.
In stockings of tube, giving gifts of himself,
This Claus don't need help from no fool little elf!
His visit was brief, there are children to see,
And no pity he'll have for a tardy St. T!
'On Face! On Murdock!, On Hannibal!' he cried,
'We got places to be, and this sucker don't fly!'
And he said as he left, in his gold and his silk,
'Merry Christmas to all, and thanks for the milk!'"

Bert was the first one of the gate with this submission and nobody else came close. Look at it! It should be hung in a goddamn gallery. It rhymes, for God's sake, it rhymes!! Bert, you get to carry the flag when Pajiba Nation takes over, I'm sorry, I mean participates in the Olympics.

And so this week the winner is Bert the Pajibian, but as the Replica and I are capricious and irresponsible God's, we are going to award the prize to both Bert and mswas, who we robbed last week out of spite and bitterness. Because Dustin has exhausted his copies of Jersey Shore Shark Attack (winners will be receiving their prizes soon, I promise -- DR), the winners will now receive a typewritten email congratulating them on their wittiness hand-signed by one of our Overlord's children.

And so Bert, we congratulate you on your sincere brilliance, and mswas, we congratulate you on being able to get friends to whine on your behalf.

This is the graphic that Replica has provided for us this week:

new-caption-september.jpeg

You can pen an excerpt from this book, write a blurb, create a video in which you and your pet act out a scene or anything you want. I mean, really, the photo just begs so many questions, and only you folks can give us the answers, so please, feast and take not a single prisoner!



Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Because every time you do an angel does the Paul Rudd dance

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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • bastich

    The worst "Star Wars" porno knock-off ever made

  • bastich

    "The Hunger Games: 1982"

  • colpetty

    This Christmas Santa wants his presents back and he is not going to be nice about it

  • bastich

    Shouldn't there be a silhouette of a guy and two robots at the bottom-right corner of this image?

  • Kenny G.

    I hate it when the Falculty puts on a play...

  • Salieri2

    Listen!! Do you smell something?

  • ringo183

    "You got any gum?"

  • GunNut2600

    I am never going to get my DVD for my Leave it to Beaver comment am I? I emailed dustin...my email address is still goatplayaplus@hotmail.com

    Like what the fuck? I can't even warrant a response?

  • no one

    I hope this comes in at least 3rd

  • L.O.V.E.

    Now I know where I saw these two! They are fugitives in a post apocalyptic world. Thank you ubiquitous instantcheckmate ad.

  • googergieger

    Mccain/Palin '08!

  • Sara_Tonin00

    2108, that is.

  • googergieger

    Hate to meet the adult who had this fantasy.

  • L.O.V.E.

    "Hold. Based on my Boobiegeiger counter, the Alphazons are two clicks to the East and rapidly approaching. I shall release Stealth Lizard."

  • dizzylucy

    Grandpa finally saw the appeal of Comic-Con.

  • L.O.V.E.

    By the way, I am totally stealing this actual blurb from a fan boy site. Whoever wrote this should win.

    "Within these pages, Frank Thorne's scurrilously libidnous
    science-fiction masterpiece is finally collected into one exquisite
    tome. Accompanied by the accident-prone dipsomanaic droid Glitch and the
    variable-aged dirty-old-man/boy Shard, luscious C.I. operative Lann
    cruises the fleshpots of Neon-Six, the junk-strewn parallel universe, on
    missions both tawdry and sublime.

    Loaded with wicked satire, politically incorrect slapstick, and
    wall-to-wall bumpsen (German for you-can-guess-what), LANN offers
    debauchery on a truly galactic scale by one of comics grandmasters. Read
    it now, before They find it and ban it!"

  • LB

    The gun is his penis.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Based on this still, I can't say that the Ryan Gosling remake of Logan's Run looks very promising.

  • BierceAmbrose

    In trade news today, stills have leaked from the live-action adaptation of South Park's "Lord of the Logan's Run to Thunderdome" episode.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Not so clear on the whole "Carrousel" thing.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Katy Sagal had vague regrets about her print work, but it did at least lead directly to her first real acting work.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Since the justifications of the victors are a good chunk of what I love about this weekly contest, I'm flattered to make the list with the non-caption and inspired some. I shall strive always to remember that the gods are capricious...and... mete out a justice that is impenetrable and unpredictable.

  • BierceAmbrose

    I shall strive always to remember ...

    I prophesy they will aid in this remembering. These are most meta of gods. Their justice may be obscure, but in their telling of that obscurity they shall be as clear as an unmuddied lake, or as an azure sky of deepest summer.

    You can rely on them, I prophesy.

  • Possible old guy thought balloons:

    "I could hit that if I could just get the tip up more."

    "Oof. Just hold it together man....Sweet universe of irony, my diarrhea would come back right after we landed on Peptobismoltron IV."

  • mrcreosote

    In a future where humans have to hunt for bras and viagra...

  • BierceAmbrose

    SCA reenactments, crica year 6593. The pointy guns are so *quaint*.

  • BierceAmbrose

    This just in .... apparently techno-preppers have staked out the cotton candy fields on sugar mountain. No word on the location of Neil Young.

  • Joyce Dewitt pauses to reflect on her decision to leave 3's Company.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Looks like she took a bit of Chrissy with her when she went.

  • ***snorting Chrissy laugh***

  • LANN: Ensign Redshirt's Best Last Day Ever

    "Captain, over here! I've found something. WOOHOOO!!!!!"

  • BierceAmbrose

    Filed under low-gravity planet - pros (2).

  • BierceAmbrose

    ... not even close to the weirdest thing the Rekall security guards saw on their illicit brain imaging feed. Tonight.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Well, m'am, not to judge, but perhaps you aren't entirely clear on the concept of a "Rekall" fantasy vacation.

  • BierceAmbrose

    37 years alone between planets - you don't just go blind.

  • Miley's Virus

    Ok, you cover the ground three feet in front of us and I'll take care of anything directly above us. Now we're invincible!

  • L.O.V.E.

    Quentin Tarantino has re-imagined the Kung Fu genre with Kill Bill.
    Quentin Tarantino has re-imagined the War movie genre with Inglourious Basterds
    Quentin Tarantino has re-imagined the Western genre with Django Unchained.

    Now, in his latest cinematic achievement, Quentin Tarantino has re-imagined the Duke's of Hazard as a 1970's Sci-Fi movie.

    Starring his favorite Cocaine-wizard friend, Robert Ricahrdson as Uncle Jesse,
    and Asia Argento as Daisy Duke, Tarantino has done it again.

  • no one

    “It's possibly we got off on the wrong foot.” ~ Dian Fossey on how Louis Leakey first introduced her to the gorillas in the mist.

  • no one

    damn it, i hate my complete inability to type. That should have been:
    “It's possible we got off on the wrong foot.” ~ Dian Fossey on how Louis Leakey first introduced her to the gorillas in the mist.
    Sorry about that.

  • Kenny G.

    ...Coz' every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

  • Bert_McGurt

    "Grandpa, for the last time, we're on Planet X-Sol 12! They're not 'jackbooted Krauts' - they don't even have feet!"

  • MikeRoorda

    He should have been more specific when requesting his rescue party be "stupid hot." She WAS beautiful. Built like a lingerie model from some planet with no carbs and lots of free growth hormones, but she was also dumb. God was she dumb. Take today for example. Today she was wearing her headband around her neck, surely a hazard. She'd also forgotten her barrel extender at the ship, was wearing a child's shirt in sub zero temperatures and had chosen to wear heels instead of more sensible footwear. Heels for Chrissake! You couldn't even see the ground through all this pink fog, but you knew there were rocks underneath and if her ankles didn't give out first one of the natives would easily pick her off soon. Her gun was basically useless in its half assembled state. His only hope, his last wish, was that in her final moments of flailing around like a scared and handicapped puppy one of her perfect breasts popped lose and he could burn the image into his memory. He'd have to dust off his hardware, it'd been a while, but he was pretty sure the plumbing could still be coaxed into action.

  • This looks like the sexy prequel to my all-time favorite Mormon movie, Saturday's Warrior. This is clearly the War in Heaven, the dry ice representing the pre-mortal existence as per the original film (check out these pre-earth dance sequences: http://youtu.be/oTVs_heJpWw ). I'm just not sure if this is Lucifer's team or Jesus's pictured; the cleavage implies Lucifer, but the beard seems to indicate a future 19th century prophet. I must find this book.

  • Mitchell Hundred

    Coming next week to this very cinema: a groundbreaking achievement in the field of science fiction! Marvel at the woman's inexplicably large range of costumes! Be revolted by the old man's conduct! Fear the perpetually humanoid monsters! Will the fog ever lift? Will the scenery ever change? Will they find their way off this deserted planet from the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation? The answers to these and no other questions will be revealed in 'The Queer Mist'!

  • She kept the universe safe with only the age-advancing power of her erotic massage, and the assistance of her younger brother Derek the Sniper.

  • ZombieMrsSmith

    There are two squirrels cavorting in my garden!

  • mswas

    I didn't even know I was robbed until this week!

  • Dinka

    " Captain, did you boobs your boob on planet boob?"

    " Boob. Now make boob this planet never boob boobies."

  • TheOriginalMRod

    "In a world covered with Pepto Bismal..."

  • kirbyjay

    Willie Nelson arms himself with Amazons to fight off the revenooers

  • Legally Insignificant

    Delilah kept an eye out for aliens while Gert the Elder quietly soiled himself.

  • ElvisCostelegram

    Barney Stinson, 84, plays lazer tag with Ms. Mosby, 26.

  • bignick

    "As long as I kneel down, she won't see I've got wood."

  • Woman says, "Alright, Grandpa. You're comin' with me. Together, we'll get your Metamucill."

  • Snath

    After years of shopping to studios and numerous script rewrites, Michael Bay's Rip Van Winkle adaptation is finally greenlit.

  • Amberlark

    Intergalactic Belvedere.

  • Though his heart was warmed by the grieving of his fans, Dumbledore found that he preferred the afterlife after all.

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