The Weekly Caption Contest September 14, 2012
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The Weekly Caption Contest

By Michael Murray and Replica | Miscellaneous | September 14, 2012 | Comments ()

Screen Shot 2012-09-14 at 3.55.52 PM.png

Well, it's been another stellar week at the Pajiba Caption Contest as our balloon is full to bursting with topnotch submissions. As Hunter S. Thompson once said, or wrote or maybe hallucinated, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." As far as I'm concerned, he was talking Pajiba all the way.

As a refresher, I'm going to show you the image that Replica provided for us last week.


old shot.png

I have narrowed it down to the top four, and they are as follows:

4. bastich:

"Leaked shot from the set of 'David Lynch's Old Yeller."

Yes, the image bastich refers to is almost perfectly Lynchian, so much so that I actually went out to look and see if David Lynch was actually making a movie of Old Yeller. He is not. No matter, I want to thank you bastich for delighting the imagination with such a prospect, and leave you with this gift, a recent self-directed video of a song written by David Lynch. You won't sleep right ever again.

3. EricD:

"Buy this painting, or we will kill this dog."

This is simple, blunt and instructional.

2. Bert_the_Pajibian:

"I tells ya Ma, there's sumthin' fishy goin' on when them duffel bags got both a drawstring AND a zipper..."

Bert, you are very perceptive. I hadn't even noticed that the duffel bag had a drawstring and a zipper. What's up with that? Why the extra security, Pa? What do you have in there and why does that painting of the dog read like an obituary? Bert, you raise many, many interesting and disturbing questions, and for that you should be rewarded.

Here's a photograph of Raquel Welch from The Fantastic Voyage:


1. F.Robert

"I remember this Christmas."

Plaintive and poetic, F.Robert has captured something that is universal. We all come from batshit crazy families, and one day most us will even start our own batshit crazy family, and so F. Robert, you are the winner this week! For your efforts you will be rewarded with something lying around the Rowles' basement! If you're brave enough and send us your address we will mail you whatever that may be.

This week we are providing you with images from the same 1970 ad campaign. You can of course respond in any way you like, or you can simply answer the question that the ads ask.

God speed to you, Pajibians!



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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Kenny G.

    1. "Shit Baby...This JIFFY-POP went fuckin' crazy!!!"
    2. "See...I told you it was more fun without the seat!!!"

  • dizzylucy

    #2 - It was all laughs until Mary's Levi's caught in the spokes...

  • zeke_the_pig

    'Confused by our hallucinogenic ads? Then you've never had Abed Time in Levi's! All aboard the Soul Dreamatorium!'

  • pic#1] the last time Issiah Washington was happy
    pic#2] after trying mushrooms for the first time Mary & Kate decided they were lesbians and would ride the town trike they'd heard so much about.

  • no one

    My brain was nagging at me that I did something wrong. But it’s always doing that so it took a minute for me to realize I should probably have put all my entries into one post. So here they are. Sorry about spamming like this.

    Picture #1.
    Got the pimp hand but no pimp glove?
    Ron Popeil has you covered with the new Condom-O-Matic from Ronco™.
    Also available in sizes white, Asian, and steroid abusing jock.

    Picture #2
    The moment Gloria Steinem first made the connection between a fish and a bicycle.

    Picture #Raquel Welch
    The 70s were a very different time for feminine hygiene products.

  • no one

    What the heck, one for Raquel Welch too.
    The 70s were a very different time for feminine hygiene products.

  • no one

    Picture #2 (and I appolgize for this in advance)
    The moment Gloria Steinem first made the connection between and a fish and bicycle.

  • no one

    crap don't know where that 2nd "and" came from. Should have been:
    The moment Gloria Steinem first made the connection between a fish and a bicycle.

  • no one

    Picture #1.
    Got the pimp hand but no pimp glove?
    Ron Popeil has you covered with the new Condom-O-Matic from Ronco™.
    Also available in sizes white, Asian, and steroid abusing jock.

  • Carl

    "First, we drink the special traveling liquid. Then we lie down in bed with the purple veils on our faces. That night, a space vessel shaped much like this bubble will come to retrieve us."

  • Dave McIntyre, Esq.

    2. umm.... the girls are cute. I got nothin'.

  • Carl

    Remember when that time of the month meant you couldn't ride your trike?

  • Pedal as hard as you want, but a tricycle won't be as effective as a coat-hanger.

  • PDamian

    Second photo:
    BLOND: "AAAAAAUGH! It burns! It burns!"
    WOMAN IN HAT: "Will you shut up? It's just Nix."

    (Google "lice shampoo")

  • PDamian

    First photo:
    WOMAN: "Yale Drama, Shakespeare In The Park, five years in the national tour of Godspell ... and the best my big-time Hollywood agent can do is some butt-ugly jeans commercial."
    MAN: "Well, you did tell him to pass on the hooker and maid roles."

  • David

    First one: "Pimp my Sesame Street."

    Second one: "You totally made that kid cry!!!"

  • Morgan_LaFai

    Why yes, I have had a bad time in Levis. Thanks ever so for bringing up such a bad memory. Perhaps you would like to give me a paper cut and then pour lemon juice on it.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    The only remaining evidence of Levi's doomed literal take on acid-washed jeans.

  • ElvisCostelegram

    1970s: Levis for Girls
    2000s: Levi for the Straight Guy

  • After Melinda went on that acid trip and stole his tricycle at gunpoint, young Danny Torrence decided he was going to be a Big Wheels kind of guy from then on. Later that winter though, in a hotel hallway, he would wish that the bitch had just shot him.

  • ReturnofSantitas

    Confused, she looked at the condom. Surely there was such a thing as too big?

  • Grendel

    I never knew Jamie Foxx was a time traveller.

  • Melina

    Right before the "Just Say No" campaign there was the little known drug campaign known as, "Drugs Make Everything Better". It was well received.

  • Jerce

    This wins.

  • For both:

    Have you ever had a bad time in Levis?
    I can't remember

  • kirbyjay

    Have you ever had...
    1. A ride in my beautiful balloon? Up, Up and Awaaaay..
    2. An orgasm on a tricycle neck while your bff watched?

  • pissant

    "Is that Cracked?"
    "Nah, baby, that just looks exactly like Cracked...but it's Pajiba."
    "What's the difference?"
    "At this point...very little."

    Next post: The 10 Craziest Directors...Who Were Basically Fortune Tellers!

    I like everything being like everything else.

  • Aratweth

    Pic 1: Levi's: The discerning cat's pant of choice when Eldridge of Paris just ain't hangin' right.

  • ShameSpiral

    The cutting edge CGI is really what sets Tyler Perry presents The Abyss apart.

  • protoformX

    Excerpt from Carl Weather's diary: "This one time I took Angela Davis' little sister out. We blew giant bubbles on the sidewalk and ate hotdogs from a street vendor. She couldn't finish hers, so I took it home and put it in a pot, added some broth, a potato. Baby, I got a stew goin' "

  • mswas

    Top: Mary thought, "I might be wearing the belt buckle of love, but boy do I sure hate you, Fred," and then she punched him in the head.

    Bottom: "And then the House of Representatives declared the word "vagina" offensive!"

  • Captain_Tuttle

    Was that bad meaning bad, or bad meaning good?

  • not a caption, but I miss when it was kosher for guys to dress audaciously. you couldn't have a bad time in THOSE levis!

  • for the first one: "yes ma'am, that is my condom"

  • firedmyass

    second one: "See? I *told* you that Paltrow bitch stole my tricycle."

  • Mitchell Hundred

    For the first one:

    Woman: Remind me again how that bubble is supposed to stop the anvil about to fall on us?
    Man: Anything is possible when you believe!

  • Jerce

    Mommy, look! The purple lady traded me these magic pills for my trike! Look at all the colors...

  • GunNut2600

    We finally found out with "Dolemite 3: How the human tornadoe got his grove back" that Rudy Ray Moore was through with it and we knew what to do with it.

  • atgdng

    Picture 1: After years of research and countless hours of work, a crack team of scientists have finally managed to distill the very essence of the '70s into one image.

    Picture 2: Woman: -that boy scout right over the head with a hammer and took this bike.

  • I don't really have anything funny to say except that I really like blowing bubbles, and I kind of want to join the people in the first picture. If I was required to wear Levi's to blow said bubbles, I guess I would wear those stripey ones because why not?

  • Kerfluffledotter

    Q: Have you ever had a bad time in Levi's?
    A: Only bad trips.

  • Ley

    If you look up, you will see all your dreams and aspirations up in smoke, after starring in this advertisement. Or maybe it's from the weed.

  • BWeaves

    Shit, I'm having flashbacks to highschool! Damn you! I wore the outfit on the left in the second photo. The shoes wereThom McCann, and were tan and navy saddle oxfords with a chunky orange rubber sole and heel.

  • One time at Levis
    A guy gave me some acid,
    Made me ride a trike

  • googergieger

    Struggling to come up with a new campaign slogan, a confident Obama team decides to literally use the first thing one of their interns say.

  • In answer to your question, yes, I have had a bad time in Levi's. I remember one time in particular when my tricycle was stolen by two psychotic women who had been wandering around my neighborhood cackling. I ran inside to tell my mother, but she was passed out with a bottle in her hands.

  • L.O.V.E.

    Picture #1 - Yah, sweethang, I always use protection. Righteous.
    Picture #2 - Thats my foot, man.

  • Snath

    LSD. Hell of a drug.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Is the man also wearing Levi's for Gals? That is some sweet stripey action.

  • BobbFrapples

    Picture #1 - The Abyss II: Topside Mayhem (Directed by Michael Bay)
    Picture #2 - Woman screams in horror as she realizes that this is where her life choices have taken her.

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