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The Weekly Caption Contest

By Michael Murray and Replica | Miscellaneous | August 31, 2012 | Comments ()


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Oh, I have to say that there is no doubt in my mind that the caption submissions for the image Replica provided last week were the best we've yet received. Everybody gets an emoticon, they were that good. J With such a flush of quality I found it entirely impossible to narrow it down to just three, so I narrowed it down to just five. As a reminder, this was the image from last week:

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Fifth place goes to L.O.V.E. for this effort:

Dammit, Lola!

Last time you wore those yellow feathers in your hair,
and a dress cut down to there,
I was struck in the back by a chair,
left to clean up blood stains everywhere!

Obviously, he's been awarded strictly for posting a Barry Manilow video. You should all immediately go and checkout that video if you want to see what passed for a classy, straight man at the end of the 70s. As a point of interest I happened to see Barry Manilow on the street a few years ago and you should know that he wears his crisp, likely ironed jeans cinched up near his arm pits.

Fourth place goes to the brilliant spambot jian zan for this:

I am a 54-year-old businessman. I own 2 businesses. Life is busy but I still feel lonely. I've been living alone since my wife passed away 2 years ago. Maybe I should get going. My friends suggest l take a try on ......Ś_ē_n_i_o_r_k_i_s_s_​​i _n_g ......so I got a profile there under "denver54". I would like to meet a quality woman to make my life more adventurous. If you are interested, maybe you can come to say hi.

jian zanbot, I think you've really captured something here, moving the primary character from the image 30 years into the future. I found your post touching and melancholy, and will certainly recommend Seniorkissing to all my single friends.

Third place goes to frank247 for this:

Augusta National has really gone downhill since they let women into the clubhouse.

He's right, that sweater is so Augusta National, and it was just earlier this month that the antique golf residence decided to allow women to join, so he's bang on with topicality. You should know that noted heterosexual Condoleeza Rice and wealthy person Darla Moore, are now members of the exclusive club, so, yeah, you've come a long way, baby!

Second place is lowercase ryan's, for this effort:

holy shit, the invisibility cloak works!

It just feels right, like a sea breeze promising nudity just a little further down the beach.

The winner though, is the mighty GunNut2600 for this:

"IS THE BEAVER GONNA HAVE TO SLAP A BITCH?!?"

GunNut obviously has the ability to read minds based solely on photographs. GN, I urge you to get your own TV show. They say that from acorns do mighty oaks grow, and so we offer you the acorn that is a DVD of Jersey Shore Shark Attack as defaced by some member of the Rowles tribe. Please treasure it like the jewel it is. (Send us your address)

This is the image that Replica has provided this week. I have not a clue what you folks might do with it.

newpineapple.jpeg


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • PDamian

    Figuring that most people were tired of pineapple rounds on a baked ham, Mildred livens up her contribution to the church potluck with a real pot garnish.

  • Elfrieda

    Wow, I was gonna go with something about the RNC and Clint Eastwood and reaching out to the gay community, but it looks like all those bases have been covered (great/depraved minds and all that), so:

    The "pro-life" parade was nearly brought to a standstill when the "The Fruit of Your Womb is Public Property" float tipped over. Luckily, no seed was spilled.

  • With all eyes on the fun loving fruit, no one noticed the turd on wheels below. Just like the GOP election machine.

  • Salieri2

    Did Barry Manilow always have that lisp? Dang.

  • I know the Republicans need to court the Latino vote, but this is just ridiculous. And vaguely racist.

  • "The Republican National Convention really embraced the spirit of Tampa this year, huh?"

  • GunNut2600

    Its goatplayaplus@hotmail.com

    COME ON YOU FUCKING SPAMMERS!! BRING THE PAIN!!!!

    Seriously though...could you please unblock my email?

  • Puddin

    This country is going to hell. Look at all those fruits on the Dole.

  • googergieger

    Say what you will about the republican national convention. They really know how to go out with a bang!

  • L.O.V.E.

    Ryan Murphy re-imagines the Banana Boat scene from Beetlejuice.

  • L.O.V.E.

    (Banana Man breaks out into song)

    Tonight we dance around the flame
    Then we get to play the spirit game
    Spirit names we shout out loud
    Shake the thunder from the spirit cloud
    Morning songbirds in the tree
    Chant a tune to let the spirits free
    Then we see them in the night
    Spirits jumpin by the fire light

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • L.O.V.E.

    It was nice of him to include Harry Belafonte, but what happened to The Muppets?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • EKnievel

    "Lemme get this straight - an UNDERWEAR ad??? I am a f*cking ARTIST, goddamn it!" (storms out) - Bunch of Grapes

  • TheFatling

    You know what they say about high fructose corn syrup...
    It works great as lube for a fruit orgy at Spongebob Squarepants' house!

  • The man in the banana suit knew that if only it had been turned around he would also be doing well with the ladies.

  • CNN Announcer: Former President Clinton looked markedly disappointed in today's opening parade of the 2012 Democratic National Convention. Dressed as a banana on the "Supporting Local Agriculture" float he waved to the crowd half-heartedly and was heard to mutter, "Oh, those kind of melons."

  • Gulliver eyed the Lilliputians hungrily

  • malikvlc

    NBC's newest procedural:
    Macy's Day Parade: Hawaii

    Mid-season, 2013.

  • mrcreosote

    The challenges on Top Chef: Monster Island just kept getting tougher.

  • Maguita NYC

    Next season on True Blood: The new and improved Fairies would taste like passion fruit and get dressed in pears and spears.

  • They had already been captured and exploited for their strangeness, but for Tim, the "Banana Man," being cockblocked by his supposed best friend John, or "Pear-y White" as he was so named by these humans, was the last straw. There would be an uprising tonight.

  • LB

    [insert quip about bananaman's speech to no one is totally like the crazy Clint Eastwood speech] + [witty reference to the phallic banana] + [Freud reference?] = Pajiba commenting gold?

    No, that can't be right. I mean a spambot top-fived, but what if I make a grammar error? No, okay, I'll just sit this one out. Maybe there will be a trade news post I can comment on first, to warn up.

    -at least five lurkers, right now

  • AudioSuede

    "Hey, I haven't been keeping up with Spongebob lately. Anything I missed?"

  • jM

    Later, they realized in horror that the festival was really a public sacrifice when the parade route ended at a giant blender.

  • Snath

    "This year's Pride Parade was fruitier than ever."

  • Rooks

    And one day, the poor banana was so entirely fed up with being fondled by Ray Comfort that it went and fraternized with a bunch of his nemeses. Together they headed west to live freely and refused to be rationalized in the name of wack-propaganda forevermore.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I'll give her this, Lady Gaga's crabs are much more festive than most peoples'.

  • Done and done and you've just made my week.

  • bastich

    Carmen Miiranda's wet dream

  • L.O.V.E.

    In the year 2019, the aptly named, Bi-Curiosity, sends back its first images from the surface of Venus.

  • L.O.V.E.

    In a totally unrelated and purely coincidental move, the Republican National Convention for 2020 is held on Venus.

  • MichaelEhrgott

    The Pineapple Express tokes along down the dusty trail led by Mr. Tumnus in his Jamba Juice casual friday attire.

  • and there's the winner

  • the other courtney

    In a true show of solidarity, Hane's Fruit of the Loom joined the Reefer Magazine float for Miami's first Gay Stoner Hospitality Pride parade.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Buoyed by the success of Old Spice's unusual marketing strategy , Fruit of the Loom introduces their "singles party on a parade float" ad campaign.

  • 'It's 2024 and the anti-gay activists feel vindicated as the world finally understands their long-extinct cries of, 'We can't let the gays marry! What'll the world look like if we let those fruits get away with everything?!' '

  • Mitchell Hundred

    Dammit, King Kong, this does NOT qualify as five servings of fruit or vegetables! Stop cheating on your diet.

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