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The Only Acceptable Options to Replace SCOTUS Justice Antonin Scalia

By Courtney Enlow | Miscellaneous | February 15, 2016 | Comments ()

By Courtney Enlow | Miscellaneous | February 15, 2016 |


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Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died this weekend, to the shock of all of us. He was man with a great mind, who used that mind for evil, but that is neither here nor there. The concern we face is that, in an election year, in our final months with President Barack Obama, we find the best replacement, someone who will take great care in protecting the lives and liberties of the American people.

Here’s the issue: we already have Ruth Bader Ginsberg, the world’s best human and fanciest glove person. We can’t have two of her. Or…can we? With a little trip to our Super Secret Kid Detective Spy Disguise Trunk from Mattel’s Made-Up-Toys Division, we might have a solution.

With that, I present to you the only acceptable options to replace Justice Antonin Scalia.

Ruth Slater Ginsberg

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Ruth Vader Ginsberg

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Ruth Hader Ginsberg

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Ruth Jay-der Ginsberg

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Ruth Allen Ginsberg

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Ruth Flay-der Ginsberg

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Ruth Rey-der Ginsberg

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Ruth Gator Ginsberg

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Ruth Trader Ginsberg
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Thank you for your time. Is this the dumbest thing I’ve ever done? Or my crowning achievement? Let’s ask Ruth Why-Not-Both-der Ginsberg.

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