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The Best Fashion Critics in the Business (Our Commenters) Hilariously Take On the Worst of the Met Gala

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | May 7, 2014 |


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For the last several months, I’ve been a little skittish around comments (for reasons that have nothing to do with Pajiba), so often when I see a large number of comments on a post, I’m terrified to look. But the thing about Pajiba’s commenters is that they almost never fail to surprise me with their thoughtfulness, their sense of humor, and they good-natured bitchery.

Yesterday, I saw a lot of comments on Pajiba Love, where the header was about Monica Lewinsky, and my worst fears were that some asshole had said something sh*tty about Lewinsky, and that — knowing our commenters — 30 others tore that person to shreds. Instead, what I found was a goldmine of commentary on Met Gala dresses.

Mrs. Julien had asked on Monday if we were going to cover the Met Gala, and I had said that I have no idea what the Met Gala is. Thankfully, a few of the commenters just went ahead and covered it themselves. The results, I thought, were glorious.

On Kate Upton:

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Dolce & Gabbana’s decision to dress Kate Upton like that: “We’re going to jail anyway! F*&K IT!” — Bedewcrock

I think many designers panic in the face of proportionally large breasts. This was the Charles James exhibit, she should have been wearing a structured 50s bombshell dress. Va. Va. VOOM! — Mrs. Julien

Kate Upton was dressed like a Nigerian woman at a wake. — Davis

On Neil Patrick Harris:

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Neil Patrick Harris looked like an asshole at the Met Ball. Ugh. This is making me mad at people I like and I do not approve. — Figgy

Ah…yes. He did look bad. I like his husband’s look - it was so out there it came back in. BUT. The fact that it is the same suit as NPH’s, and the fact that they both had on pretty ugly clompy shoes which were clearly visible because of the terrible length of those pants…

I’ll also say that NPH was wearing a little too much makeup for my tastes. His prerogative, I know, just expressing my opinion. — Sara Tonin

On Lupita Nyong’o:

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I love the girl, but that is the most hideous piece of “clothing” I have ever seen outside a Project Runway “unusual materials” challenge. It’s heinous. It’s trashy. It’s offensively ugly. I feel so embarrassed for her. — Figgy

Its just never a good idea to use bead curtains found on clearance at a Michael’s as a dress. She is lucky she didn’t get shoved when someone mistook her for the opening to a fortune teller’s shop. — LOVE

I agree about the headband. I know that a guy who un-ironically wears sleeveless shirts probably shouldn’t be giving out fashion advice, but I’ve always thought that headbands are generally a bad idea regardless of where are you are or what else you’re wearing —Quartermain

I recognize I’m in the minority here, but I love this dress on her (except for the headband). She pulls it off. Um, I could not pull this off, and neither could most people. emmalita

I’d love to pull it off. Whether she’d let me is another matter altogether.

/raises eyebrows seductively — Bert McGurt

That headband makes her look like she is communicating with either the Cyclons or KITT form Knight Rider. And those feathers are what janitors use when they want to dust the sides of escalators. Those shoes are from one of those “sexy” tinkerbell Halloween costumes.
Not a good look. I am being absolutely snotty, but her taste is usually impeccable and this looks like she is smiling out of embarrassment after she lost a bet. LOVE

That dress is some bullshit warrior princess bullshit. — Mrs. Julien

Now that she’s People’s most beautiful person of the year, she can wear whatever the hell she wants. #inyourfacePeople —mswas

My first thought was she was wearing a giant dream catcher. — ceebee_eebee

On Elizabeth Olsen:

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I can see the Elizabeth Olson twins from here! — LOVE

It’s time for Elizabeth to start looking over her shoulder for Tanya Harding, methinks. —luthien26

On Sandra Lee:

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Our First Concubine, with her semi-homemade space-Cinderella gown…Miss Sandra Lee. All my love. — Sara Tonin

This Sandra Lee thing is a horror. —emmalita

CUSTOM MADE. I wonder what cocktail she’s invented to go with it. — Sara Tonin

Something with Marshmallows, grain alcohol and, I hope, fire. —emmalita

She looks like the Tin Man’s private parts. — LOVE

That is totally a re-purposed figure skating dress, isn’t it? — luthien26

It’s 267 re-purposed figure skating dresses. — Mrs. Julien

On Shailene Woodley:

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And Shailene Woodley fittingly has some forest brush coming out of her beebopboop. — LOVE

THIS IS WHY I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT RODARTE EXISTS. — Mrs. Julien

On Maggie Gyllenhaal:

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I see Maggie Gyllenhall is playing the live-version of the Hawk Moth from ‘Silence of the Lambs” — LOVE

—-

Then LOVE on the Rest of the Best and Worst:

The risky that I liked actually was Nicole Richie’s. I also liked the modern cut of Rosie Huntington-Whitely’s. And for something more risque I think Olivia Munn found the right balance. Poor Brie Larson. That outfit is just 50 shades of wrong. she gets my worst dressed. And does she know someone put one of those fake dog poops on her head?

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