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The 25 Most Long-Winded Commenters of 2010

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (61)

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Steven Lloyd Wilson came up with this idea, another means to idle some time away as the year comes to an end. Below are the 25 most long-winded commenters of 2010, which is to say: The 25 with the highest word count.

For comparison’s sake, note these word count statistics from Wikipedia:

Novel: over 40,000 words
Novella: 17,500 to 40,000 words
Novelette: 7,500 to 17,500 words
Short story: under 7,500 words

I appreciate you devoting those words to us, instead.

1. Robert: 101,936 words.

2. figgy: 97,634 words

3. superasente: 95,380 words

4. ,: 84,199: words

5. PaddyDog: 70,829 words

6. Kballs: 69,239 words

7. Yossarian: 65,288 words

8. Slash: 64,686 words

9. TylerDFC: 64,494 words

10. D-Day: 61,630 words

11. MM: 61,342 words

12. DarthCorleone: 60,800 words

13. RobP: 57,956 words

14. Jo ‘Mama’ Besser: 57,893 words

15. idleprimate: 56,605 words

16. Mrs. Julien: 56,384 words

17. BWeaves: 55,945 words

18. Nadine: 54,524 words

19. Fredo: 52,549 words

20. bleujayone: 42,407 words

21. Kayanne: 42,045 words

22. BierceAmbrose: 38,743 words

23. BarbadoSlim: 38,328

24. admin: 37,754 words

25. Cindy: 36,969 words










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Comments

Well I was laughing and predicting my way through the list until I got to the end.

Gotta hand it to BSlim for being prolific, yet succinct.

Posted by: Cindy at December 31, 2010 10:58 AM

Pithy

Posted by: Jay at December 31, 2010 10:58 AM

Spambot says this shit was rigged.

Posted by: Slappysquirrell at December 31, 2010 11:05 AM

That works out to almost exactly 40* words a comment. What does a 40-word** comment look like? Well, my friends, it looks something like this, only with, you know, a few more words than I figured it did. Did.

*--Counting "40" as a word.

**-Counting compound modifer as two words.

Posted by: , at December 31, 2010 11:05 AM

You're killing me Rowles.

Posted by: superasente at December 31, 2010 11:11 AM

That's a hella lot comments 'n' words 'n' shit

Posted by: zeke the pig at December 31, 2010 11:15 AM

Top 3, superasante? Not bad.

Congrats and heh to you.

Posted by: Slappysquirrellrel at December 31, 2010 11:15 AM

New Years Resolution: write shorter comments.

Posted by: Robert at December 31, 2010 11:18 AM

And yes, superasente I totally misspelled your username on purpose even though I was looking right at it. Hey, what can I say? I was lost deep in mine own thoughts.

Guess the 'Jiban narcissism has rubbed off on me.

Posted by: Slappysquirrellrel at December 31, 2010 11:20 AM

All of these narcissistic commenter lists will only influence people to comment more in the hopes of making 2011's lists.

Well played, Pajiba

Posted by: THRILLHO at December 31, 2010 11:23 AM

That's cool, Slappysquirrellrel; people have been doing that to me for years. In fact, I had this teacher in the 7th grade who insisted on pronouncing my name "uh-SAHN-tay" despite my repeated insistance that it is correctly pronounced "uh-CENT-tea." We once had a long conversation about...

[begins to enter lengthy diatriabe]
[remembers what post he's commenting on]
[commits suicide]

Posted by: superasente at December 31, 2010 11:28 AM

literal minded folk see long-winded, while us wheezy waxing in our cups folk see prolific!

to think, if every time i sat down to comment on pajiba, I had instead focussed on a manuscript, I could hold in my hands a novel length collection of random gibberish.

As Mr. Mailer said of Mr. Kerouac, "that's not writing, it's typing"

Posted by: idleprimate at December 31, 2010 11:29 AM

I'm doing the math.

My average long-winded blog post is between 500 and 700 words (though I regularly top 1200 words when inspired). I averaged about 2 posts a week, though that was in spurts of 3 to 5 weeks of 5 posts of week before bad things happened. That means that my main blog, which occasionally produces revenue, saw somewhere roughly between 52000 and 72800 new words this year. I'm ghostwriting for a bunch of sites I can't take credit for, so count another 50000 words that earned me some money. That means half of my online writing connected to a wide audience is devoted to fucking around on this site. I'm conflicted, frightened, proud, and ashamed all at the same time.

Posted by: Robert at December 31, 2010 11:30 AM

Jeeze, you know it's bad when I can't even get MY OWN damn surname right!

Suicide is never ever funny.

Ever.

But when it's a superasente-cide?

HILARIOUS. Bravo.

*tosses a white towel*

Now, go and wipe yourself off. Ya got blood all over your face!

Posted by: Slappysquirrel at December 31, 2010 11:33 AM

Step away from the calculator, Robert.

Posted by: Val Vadynia at December 31, 2010 11:36 AM

Step away from the calculator, Robert.

Nevers!

Posted by: Robert at December 31, 2010 11:39 AM

Hmm. I did some math, too, and I average around 73 words a post. Which makes sense, I've always been fairly verbose in my writing. That probably isn't going to change any time soon. (Clearly!)

57,965 words on Pajiba. 53,271 words on my NaNoWrimo project from 2008. Most of both accomplished during down time at work.

I have to do some serious thinking...

Posted by: RobP at December 31, 2010 11:46 AM

Brevity, soul, wit.

Posted by: sansho1 at December 31, 2010 11:49 AM

Slim's feeling good, real good.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 31, 2010 11:58 AM

Rowles you’re being too kind by calling them long winded when in reality they suffer from diarrhea of the mouth.

Posted by: Pookie at December 31, 2010 12:13 PM

Rowles you’re being too kind by calling them long winded when in reality they suffer from diarrhea of the mouth.

Posted by: Pookie at December 31, 2010 12:13 PM

and that's putting it nicely.

Posted by: causaubon at December 31, 2010 12:32 PM

Cool.

Posted by: Lucas at December 31, 2010 12:37 PM

@Pookie: You're diarrhea of the mouth!

Posted by: RobP at December 31, 2010 1:57 PM

@RobP: You see Rob, you’re already getting the hang of it. Your comment was succinct minus your usual filler.

Posted by: Pookie at December 31, 2010 2:20 PM

Second highest number of comments, but 16th for word count. I must be ever so quippy. At least 5,000 of my words were Lost related; pearls before network swine!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 31, 2010 2:27 PM

The commenter ass kissing continues!

Bitchy people my ass. Y'all are sweet as pie.

Posted by: logan at December 31, 2010 2:31 PM

Sweet as candied yams, I'd say, as evidenced by Mrs. Julien's constant offers to feed us cookies.

Unless, of course, "who wants a cookie" is a euphemism for some sort of tortuous, sadist act.

Posted by: Slappysquirrel at December 31, 2010 2:38 PM

The only torturous, sadisitic act that is cookie-related that I can think of is of the oatmeal raisin variety.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 31, 2010 3:05 PM

Ugh my god, with the oats and the raisins? They are the worst.

Posted by: coveredinbees at December 31, 2010 3:21 PM

Does this mean that some of us will be making New Year's Resolutions to shut the fuggup?

Posted by: greer at December 31, 2010 3:25 PM

Christ,IthinkIneedafuckinghobby.Ha,oneword!

Posted by: TylerDFC at December 31, 2010 3:34 PM

Touche, Mrs. Julien

I cannot help that the cookies of the oatmeal and raisin variety are my weakness. I can't explain it. While all the other kids were drawn to the ooey gooey chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin was my thing.

Sure, I was often accused of being the odd gal out but, eh, I concluded that if everyone else hated them then that meant more for me!

As for shutting the fuggup, I'd say you might wanna get ready for people writing their tomes in 2011, greer!

Posted by: Slappysquirrel at December 31, 2010 3:40 PM

As for shutting the fuggup, I'd say you might wanna get ready for people writing their tomes in 2011, greer!

I feel that people will make their comments shorter.

Posted by: greer at December 31, 2010 3:47 PM

But...

Posted by: greer at December 31, 2010 3:47 PM

more

Posted by: greer at December 31, 2010 3:47 PM

frequent.

Posted by: greer at December 31, 2010 3:48 PM

Si...

Posted by: Pookie at December 31, 2010 3:48 PM

...and the FUGGUP is OPEN!
A-GAIN!!

Posted by: Rykker at December 31, 2010 3:53 PM

I plan on being even more verbous, just to piss of pookie.

I would elucidate further, but I simply haven't the time. *yawn*

Posted by: superasente at December 31, 2010 4:11 PM

since the stakes are word count and comment count, it's not so much verbosity but loquacity that seals the deal.

Posted by: idleprimate at December 31, 2010 4:21 PM

Hee, I kinda figured I'd be in the top. I talk too damn much.

Posted by: figgy at December 31, 2010 4:23 PM

idleprimate used some lovely words in the post.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 31, 2010 4:32 PM

since the stakes are word count and comment count, it's not so much verbosity but loquacity that seals the deal.

Posted by: idleprimate at December 31, 2010 4:21 PM

Wait. Can some words be counted more than others like the letters in Scrabble? I think loquacity and verbosity should count as 1.5 words each. We need a ruling on this.

Judges?

Posted by: greer at December 31, 2010 4:48 PM

I am humbled...

...and inspired.

MUST COMMENT MORE IN 2011...

...MUST USE MORE WORDS IN 2011.

Does "..." count for anything?

Posted by: OldSchool60 at December 31, 2010 4:50 PM

I'd be reticent to complicate the math, besides, someone might decide that four letter words only counted as a .5, or conjunctions didn't count at all.

and soon someone would be petitioning for that Mary Poppins word to be worth 3 or 4 points.

chaos would reign, and the benign harmony that usually graces the comment threads would be destroyed.

It's just not worth the risk

Posted by: idleprimate at December 31, 2010 4:58 PM

Congratulations, Robert. I figured you'd be Top 3, at least.

For the record, I always enjoy your long posts, particularly if they're about horror movies.

If I was the sort of person who was crafty, I'd make you a nice trophy with sparkles and glitter and pithy words, because you seem like the type of person who'd appreciate it. But I'm not, so I'll just give you an imaginary trophy in my mind.

How many words was this comment? Damn it.

Posted by: MM at December 31, 2010 5:03 PM

Wow.

Posted by: Fredo at December 31, 2010 5:38 PM

Yeah, this is where I make my mark.

And feel free to double-check the math but I believe I am the winner for Longest Comments with over 160 words per comment on average. Most of these jokers piled up their word count with two or three times as many comments, but Mr. Yossarian never speaks unless he has something to say.

Posted by: Yossarian at December 31, 2010 5:47 PM

and yossarian's comments are never a waste of words. . .always thoughtful, I think of you more as arbitrator than bitchy, despite your accolades

Posted by: idleprimate at December 31, 2010 6:06 PM

Yikes.

Posted by: Jackseppelin at December 31, 2010 6:45 PM

I'm guessing that Adventureman missed this list because he appears so infrequently. Some of his posts are serious tomes.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at December 31, 2010 8:38 PM

Words that are written in the Queen's English, such as colour rather than the more mundane color, should count for two words each. Please get on that, Dustin.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at December 31, 2010 8:59 PM

y'know, Canada uses those superfluous u's too.

Screw the queen's english (unless there are extra points)

how do we grade stuff like the spelling of grey/gray?

or z versus s in canadian spellings?

i warned you, chaos, chaos, chaos (3 words there)

Posted by: idleprimate at December 31, 2010 9:25 PM

...
...
...
...
...
...
I was just pausing to think...and couldn't think of anything.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at December 31, 2010 10:44 PM

y'know, Canada uses those superfluous u's too.

Screw the queen's english (unless there are extra point)

Posted by: idleprimate at December 31, 2010 9:25 PM

Dude, I know, I'm totally Canuckasian. And we'll be needing a metric equivalency chart as well.

Anarchy!

Posted by: Uriah Creep at December 31, 2010 10:45 PM

This sentence has five words.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at December 31, 2010 10:45 PM

Loquacity is the soul of verbosity.

Posted by: Rykker at January 1, 2011 1:03 AM

I'll claim both loquacity and verbosity, but it's only on the topics I have something to say about. I just happen to have a number of opinions.

@Yossarian: Your comments are the epitome of quality over quantity.

Posted by: RobP at January 1, 2011 3:55 AM

*phew*

Posted by: replica at January 1, 2011 8:49 PM

I've always wanted to write a novel. Apparently, now I have. And it probably sucks.

Posted by: BWeaves at January 2, 2011 5:56 PM

This is sobering.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 3, 2011 11:27 AM