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Science: Watch Horror Movies, Lose Weight

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | October 29, 2012 | Comments ()


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No longer, folks, do we need to bother with tedious exercise or painful diets. We can load up on Chipotle burritos to our hearts content and make up for all those extra calories by doing what we already love to do: Watch horror films.

Indeed, according to a study commissioned by movie rental company LOVEFiLM, we can erase those unsightly love handles by simply watching the Saw series. On a loop. Every day for the rest of our lives.

"As the pulse quickens and blood pumps around the body faster, the body experiences a surge in adrenaline," said Dr. Richard McKenzie, a specialist in cell metabolism and physiology at Westminster.

"It is this release of fast acting adrenaline, produced during short bursts of intense stress (or in this case, brought on by fear), which is known to lower the appetite, increase the Basal Metabolic Rate and ultimately burn a higher level of calories."

Cool! According to the study, the average person could lose the same amount of calories watching a 90-minute film as they could a 30-minute walk. Indeed, watching Kubrick's The Shining burns 184 calories.

But then again, you can lose about 130 calories simply by sitting on your ass for two hours and staring at a wall. But hey! 25 extra calories an hour, and all you have to do is watch Eli Roth's greatest hits? It's totally worth the extra half of a nonfat yogurt you can splurge on.

I love you, Science, for giving us the illusion that wasting money on Silent Hill 2 is good for our figure. This is the best news I've heard since finding out that I can lose an extra 100 calories for every hour I have sex. The pounds just MELT off.

(Via Blastr)



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  • Jezzer

    Harry Knowles is a horror fan, Dustin.

    Now that I've shattered your premise, I want to see you weep, Rowles. WEEP, DAMN YOU!

  • googergieger

    Header pic just got done watching the Hogan sex tape.

  • PDamian

    Sorry, but this is a crock. I've been a dedicated horror fan since I was about six years old, and my butt is horrifyingly large. Maybe that's what they meant? "Watch horror films, develop a horrific figure" --?

  • QueeferSutherland

    So Van Jones duped you, eh? Don't worry, the Green Jobs Czar has everyone fooled.

    Sincerely,
    The GOP, June 2008

  • Pookie

    Does that article mention anything about losing millions of brain cells by reading insipid articles?

  • BobbFrapples

    That explains the Zombie Running app. Your phone provides sound effects as you run to mimic fleeing from a zombie horde. Need to get your heart rate up? Imagine a superchain shambling after your spandex clad ass!

  • Robert

    I have the Zombie Run app. It's awesome. The novelist they hired to create the world did a fantastic job building a unique horror universe. The voice acting is top notch and the interactive elements post-workout are a nice diversion.

    Frankly, I'd like to see more horror fitness games. Imagine a power walking app that walks you through the slow realization that your town has been overrun by Cthulhu cultists bent on raising the Old Ones. The Bela Lugosi edition of Just Dance could be all about recreating his signature contortions to the kicking beats of Goblin.

  • Robert

    Either the results are being overstated or my horror obsession is scientifically preventing me from nonstop weight gain. Ever been to a horror convention? They'd make a mint charging for mobility scooter rentals at the front door.

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