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Probably Not The Worst Performances You'll See From Carl Lewis This Year

By | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (6)



carl_lewis_041111.jpg

If you’re an American over the age of 30 or a fan of track and field, you know that Carl Lewis is simply one of the most amazing athletes to ever walk the Earth.

Winner of 10 Olympic medals, the last in 1996 at the age of 35, and 10 World Championship medals, he was named Athlete of the Year by Track and Field News in 1982, 1983 and 1984. Lewis set world records in the 100 m, 4 x 100 m and 4 x 200 m relays and his world record in the indoor long jump has stood since 1984. His 65 consecutive victories in the long jump achieved over a span of 10 years is one of the sport’s longest undefeated streaks.

Lewis became a household name at the Los Angeles games in 1984 when he won four gold medals, equaling the immortal Jesse Owens. He was a physical marvel.

Unfortunately, he had to retire someday and things have been less glorious since then.

Lewis, a native of Willingboro, NJ where he currently volunteers as a high school track coach, Monday announced his candidacy for State Senate. He’s challenging an incumbent Republican hack, but the GOP is strong in that part of South Jersey and simple incompetence has never been a reason for New Jerseyians to vote out a politician.

So, in honor of the man who aspires to be your 8th District senator, let’s take a look at some of the less auspicious moments of his post-athletic career.

Lewis, like a lot of athletes, wanted a career in pictures. But, well. It didn’t go well.

Vote Carl Lewis. He’ll slap higher taxes like he slaps his bitches.

Lewis also fancies, or maybe fancied, himself a singer. And like many celebrities who aim for multiplatform superstardom, his fame afforded him opportunites he probably wasn’t ready for. Whoo boy, was he not ready.

Vote Carl Lewis. He’ll keep trying, no matter what.

I couldn’t find the whole video, but I LOVE the shot of Michael Jordan laughing into his jacket.

This last one just defies expectation. It’s … It’s just awful. But if you want to see a very muscular Carl Lewis working out in a unitard and wearing too much eyeliner while singing (poorly) over a beat laid down by a Casio synthesizer, then this is the video for you.

Vote Carl Lewis. When it comes to government waste, he’ll “Break It Up.”

Good luck, Carl. You may not be the hero New Jersey wants, but you’re for damn sure the hero New Jersey deserves.

Jason Harris met Carl Lewis once. He’s taller than you’d expect.









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Comments

Vote Carl Lewis. He was also a drug taking hypocrite.
So he will fit right in with the rest of the Senate.

Posted by: supafly at April 14, 2011 9:33 PM

This has been a big topic of conversation with my friends and I ever since it was announced (we all hail from Burlington county, like Carl) and the jury is still out as of now. The campaign ads should be comical, that's for sure.

Win?

Posted by: noodlestein at April 14, 2011 9:36 PM

no discussion of carl lewis can be complete without pointing out very possibly the worst first pitch in baseball history:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ5B_x53gQM

yes, a buffoon, but carl was one of the greatest athletes in history. you gave him a shot, he won the gold. period. just had to be said.

Posted by: matty blue at April 14, 2011 9:51 PM

I find it odd that the Lewis connection to steroids is never mentioned.

Posted by: Paul D at April 14, 2011 10:06 PM

I have mixed feelings about his failed drug tests. On the one hand, I believe everyone who was competing at a world class level in the 1980s was on performance enhancing drugs. On the other hand he wasn't very gracious about admitting the fact that he a several others were allowed to get away with it because of the damage it would have done to admit the truth. For the most part I'm angry with the Olympic cabal because they ruined track and field completely and it was my first love.
On the other hand (yes, I have three hands), anyone who might have a chance of knocking one of the GOP douchebags out is getting some points from me. The real question is will his candidacy block a more worthy Dem candidate.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 15, 2011 10:17 AM

Wow, 2:05 - 2:10 in his music video, just wow.

Posted by: joelboy at April 15, 2011 11:32 AM