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Pi vs. Pie, A Filmic Equation. Dear Math, You're Already Losing.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (24)



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In 1989 San Francisco physicist, Larry Shaw, invented Pi Day. Every March 14th (3.14), thereafter the holiday has gained popularity until, in 2009, the U.S. House of Representatives passed a non-binding resolution officially recognizing National Pi Day (because, apparently, they had nothing better to do with their time). But ever since its inception (yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaahhmmmmmmm) in 1989, the concept of Pi Day has been closely associated with the consumption of pies. According to that sterling source of information, Wikipedia, Larry Shaw and his physicist friends marched around in a circle and then ate fruit pies. In fact, I think it’s pretty clear that Larry Shaw just invented this day in order to have an excuse to eat pie. Everyone loves puns. Especially puns with a flaky crust.

This begs the question, which homophone is more deserving of celebration? Pi/Math, the building block of the universe? Or pie, which is crazy delicious? Let’s break it down.

For introducing me to the sassy crater face that is Edward James Olmos, Math earns 15 points. [Score: Math=15 Pie=0]

For being such a handy thing to throw, and for covering a scantily clad Natalie Wood in cream, Pie earns 30 points. [Score: Math=15 Pie=30]

For aiding and abetting A Beautiful Mind’s Best Picture win, Math loses ten points. [Score: Math=5 Pie=30]

For allowing Jason to put his “Biggs” inside of it, Pie loses fifteen points. [Score: Math=5 Pie=15]

For any association with Jurassic Park and Jeff Goldblum, Math earns 40 points. [Score: Math=45 Pie=15]

For shining a much-needed light on the OSHA violations (those animals are all up in her dough) perpetrated by Disney’s most annoying princess, Pie earns 20 points. [Score: Math=45 Pie=35]

For allowing a nation to think it’s cute or cool to do “hilarious” impressions of autistic people, Math loses ten points. [Score: Math=35 Pie=35]

For giving us Nathan Fillion as a romantic lead, Pie earns 25 points. [Score: Math=35 Pie=60]

For launching the careers of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, Math earns 40 points.
[Score: Math=75 Pie=60]

For putting me off my lunch, Pie loses 30 points. [Score: Math=75 Pie=30]

For launching the career of Lindsay Lohan, Math loses 20 points. For boosting the writing career of one Ms. Tina Fey, Math gains 20 points. Wash. [Score: Math=75 Pie=30]

For making me listen to Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter sing, Pie loses 20 points. For supplying Stephen Sondheim with inspiration for so many splendid puns, Pie earns 20 points. Wash. [Score: Math=75 Pie=30]

For the ending of Pi, Math loses all its points and even takes Pie’s points down with it. Seriously disturbing. So bad. I’ll never recover. [Score: Math=0 Pie=0]

So it’s a tie? It’s a tie. Math and Pie are equally deserving of our affection, so I’ll leave you with this love scene between a baker and a numbers guy. Happy Pi Day, y’all.

Joanna Robinson is going to make a pizza pie tonight and watch Waitress. She might do her taxes too. But probably not.









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Comments

How much does Karie look like Lucille Ball in that photo? Wow.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at March 14, 2011 4:14 PM

Comparison not valid in Indiana.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at March 14, 2011 4:16 PM

If you multiply pi by 13.37, you might have your mind blown

Posted by: hun23 at March 14, 2011 4:18 PM

It's nice to know somebody else visits The Chive everyday besides me.

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

Posted by: superasente at March 14, 2011 4:33 PM

Case in point: In a post about the wonder of math, subtracting 20 points from Math because of Lindsey Lohan magically retains its original sum. QED, beeches.

(Ooops, forgot the curative powers of Tina Fey.--JR)

Posted by: JP at March 14, 2011 4:36 PM

I can't read over the sound of the mathgasms!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 14, 2011 4:50 PM

For introducing me to the sassy crater face that is Edward James Olmos, Math earns 20 points. [Score: Math=15 Pie=0]

Joanna, read that line again, double check your Math, and then wave it off with the excuse that it was all part of the joke, asshole.

Posted by: the_wakeful at March 14, 2011 4:52 PM

Tooootally. Now I, the English Major, am going to eat some pie. PIE DOES NOT KEEP SCORE.

Posted by: coveredinbees at March 14, 2011 4:55 PM

Honorable Mention: The episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete entitled "X = Why?", in which the incomparable Ellen Hickle declares war on algebra word problems and systematically destroys the psyches of the math department, and then those of the faculty of her school. Featuring cameos by Steve Buscemi, Janeane Garofalo, and Syd Straw as the most freakin' adorable math teacher ever, ever known. I would become a lesbian for that woman. I swear I would.

Posted by: StoatCat at March 14, 2011 4:55 PM

If someone could direct me to a high-res version of that pic at the top, I'd be grateful.

Posted by: jthomas666 at March 14, 2011 4:59 PM

All this talk of pie and no mention of Pushing Daisies? Shame on you.

Posted by: Darek at March 14, 2011 5:32 PM

Wait. Stand By Me loses thirty points for a fantastic (though sickening) scene but Lindsey Lohan only loses 20 points for math? Excuse me Miss Robinson but as someone who adores English and is grandly mediocre at math, I have to point out that the pie scene was an example of Gordy's exemplary writing skills. So, by my math, that ends everything with:

Pie: 0
Pi: -25
English: 20

Posted by: Paultera at March 14, 2011 5:44 PM

To be fair Darek, all the scenes are from films and not TV. Just trying to stay consistent I am sure. RIGHT, Joanna? ;-)

Posted by: Nesto at March 14, 2011 5:52 PM

Except...

Pie would exist without pi. (Round.) Hence, Any point pie gains, pi gains; any point pi loses, pie loses.

Posted by: Shadowen at March 14, 2011 6:51 PM

For making the Piemaker the Piemaker, pie gains a million, billion points, and wins for all eternity.

Posted by: Blake Shrapnel at March 14, 2011 7:40 PM

Pie are round. Cornbread are square.

Posted by: Shonda at March 14, 2011 8:24 PM

e ^ (i*pi) = -1.

Let's see pie do that.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at March 14, 2011 8:47 PM

For bringing us Lee Pace's lanky goodness every week, pie earns infinite points. However, without math, we could never had kept score to begin with. So, yes, I guess it's a wash.

Posted by: thecreepingkid at March 14, 2011 9:24 PM

Pie fight >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> pi fight.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4-spBDcJyk

Posted by: , at March 15, 2011 1:18 AM

Posted by: Joe at March 15, 2011 5:02 AM

GAHHH I need to do my taxes too!!

Also, I am a big fan of Pi day. My coworker brought in a pear and butterscotch pie that he made. Delicious.

Posted by: denesteak at March 15, 2011 9:38 AM

Joanna, fix the "because they apparently had nothing better to do" crap. The Pi Day resolution is focused on the importance of Math and Science Education; noting the problems we will face in this country if we don't improve it; and calling out the need to improve STEM education for young girls and women.

The legislation was supported by a diverse coalition of scientists, math types, computer geeks, a Fields Medal winner, and Danica McKellar, who was willing to come to DC to speak up for the legislation even though it was just a week before her wedding!

A Resolution like Pi Day doesn't cost taxpayers any extra money. The lights were on, the members were in session, it was given 5 minutes of floor time and then the vote was rolled in to a series of votes.

Posted by: morganew at March 15, 2011 12:09 PM

For keeping David Krumholtz employed for five years and creating a show that uses actual math in much cooler ways than I knew about in school, Math needs to gain much points. Although, for not having this show exist earlier in my life and proving to me that my aspiration to work for Mathnet was not as farfetched as I thought when I gave up that dream, Math loses at least 50.

Posted by: leuce7 at March 15, 2011 1:06 PM

Darrenofsky wins.

Posted by: Robin at March 25, 2011 12:04 AM