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Look, At Least She's Entertaining

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (16)

Tyra.jpg

“America’s Next Top Model” returns tonight to the joy and delight of all (okay, mainly to the joy and delight of figgy). I won’t be watching, because I’ve seen a significant amount of the show thanks to my sister and it suffers from the same problem as all reality shows; while I am vaguely interested in the topics they cover (modeling, fashion, make up, etc.) I am not at all interested in the contestants. You know why Tyra makes it all about her? Because most of the girls on that show aren’t half as interesting as they like to think they are. And we’re supposed to be interesting when they stir shit up? Listen, you lock me in a house with at least a dozen other women between 18 and 24 with no regular TV, internet, or phone access and I’d probably get a little crazy and eat someone else’s yogurt or whatever the hell too. I do have a lasting and reluctant respect for Ms.Banks for making this much of a career out of being extremely pretty, formerly very skinny, and all the time insane. Good for her, I think. Here’s your Wednesday night TV:

8:00pm: “America’s Next Top Model” on The CW. 15th season premiere. Yes, you read that right.

“Big Brother” on CBS

“Masterchef” on Fox

“Minute to Win It” on NBC

9:00pm: “America’s Got Talent” on NBC

“Dark Blue” on TNT. Back to back new episodes. Just in case you were watching, which you probably weren’t.

“Ghost Hunters” on SyFy

“Hellcats” on The CW. Series premiere. I’ve seen promos for this where like, the one girl is a cheerleader and kind of a bitch but not really that awesome of a cheerleader and this other girl who needs a scholarship comes in and is TOTALLY AWESOME at being a cheerleader but thinks cheerleading is dumb, and then they’re all like “Oh my god!” and I’m like “Kill me!” right?

“Inside the NFL” on Showtime. 34th season premiere.

“Man vs. Food” on Travel. The Man will be battling the Food in Portland, Maine tonight.

“Man vs. Wild” on Discovery. This is called “Fan vs. Wild” and I remember a contest a while ago where you could win a chance to be on “Man vs. Wild” so I guess that’s this episode.

9:30pm: “Man vs. Food” on Travel. Tailgating special.

10:00pm: “Animal Planet Presents: Cat Ladies” on Animal Planet. I’d advise some of you to watch this so you can understand how to stay on the non-crazy side of the “Cat Lady” line. I think not dressing your cats in baby clothes and/or pushing them around in cat strollers is probably rule #1.

“Black Gold” on TruTV. Third season premiere.

“Chasing Mummies” on History

“The Choir” on BBCA

“Clean House” on Style

“Criss Angel: Mindfreak” on A&E. Sixth season finale.

“E! Investigates: The Cures of the Lottery II” on E!

“Food Wars” on Travel

“Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the New York Jets” on HBO. Sixth season finale.

“LA Ink” on TLC

“Pros vs. Joes” on Spike. Fifth season finale.

“Psych” on USA. Fifth season summer finale.

“The Real World” on MTV

“Sci-fi Science: Physics of the Impossible” on Science

“Surviving the Cut” on Discovery

“Terriers” on FX. Series premiere.

“Top Chef” on Bravo

“Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns” on TBS

“100 Greatest Artists of All Time” on VH1

“Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry?” on ID. I only mention this because John Waters is in the commercials and he’s one of my favorite celebrities from Baltimore.

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Julianna Marguiles and the Black Angels

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Chelsea Handler, Ken Jeong, and Ray LaMontagne

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Kevin Nealon, Milla Jovovich, and Interpol

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring James Lipton and Monica Potter

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Elijah Wood, Maggie Q, and Andy Haynes

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Gov. Tim Kaine

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Vice President Joe Biden and Gen. Raymond Odierno. It’s his salute to the troops tonight, so tune in and feel patriotic, dammit.

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.







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Comments

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*runs around the room waving hands in the air*

(I might be on 4 hours of sleep and too much coffee but I AM STILL SO EXCITED)

Posted by: figgy at September 8, 2010 7:25 PM

Also, it's really about the new levels of stupidity that that show reaches with each new season-- and there's about 3 of those a year or something. It's just so shamelessly, gleefully ridiculous and dumb and just...I can't explain it. I can totally understand why people hate it or want to stay away. But for me, it's true love.

Posted by: figgy at September 8, 2010 7:28 PM

“Animal Planet Presents: Cat Ladies” on Animal Planet. I’d advise some of you to watch this so you can understand how to stay on the non-crazy side of the “Cat Lady” line. I think not dressing your cats in baby clothes and/or pushing them around in cat strollers is probably rule #1.

This reminds me of one of my all-time favorite t-shirts:

Front: The Dogs Are Not My Children

Back: At least, that's what their piano teacher keeps telling me.

Posted by: Wednesday at September 8, 2010 7:32 PM

Figgy, I am so on board about tonight too. This is gonna be the season with the ridiculously skinny girl and all the other girls are going to hate on her because of it. oh the drama...

Posted by: AlannaJudith at September 8, 2010 7:39 PM

I can't tolerate Top Model episodes. But I will be reading Rich's recaps/gif shows on FourFour afterward. That's the best part for me.

I hope he's still doing those!

Posted by: greer at September 8, 2010 7:54 PM

Oh Rich better be doing his recaps. It's my main motivation for even watching, other than hating myself and not being able to tear my eyes away.

Since its's the 15th season, shouldn't we be getting an "all star" Top TOP Model season? I think it's only appropriate at this point. Tyra can even talk about how she shaped each and every top model, but only one she REALLY shaped! (Somewhat in jest about Whitney, the plus size winner).

Posted by: Monica at September 8, 2010 8:10 PM

Yeah, Psych!

Posted by: Gabs at September 8, 2010 8:25 PM

Monica, I just checked FourFour and we are a GO on the recaps. First one will be up on Tuesday.

I am way too excited about that.

Posted by: greer at September 8, 2010 8:25 PM

Best Top Model premiere in cycles. OMG. Giant models, giant breasted models, sister models, and wannabe hipster models. Racism (possibly). Cynthia Rowley rolling her eyes and trying not to laugh in the girls' faces. It's the little things that make life special.

Posted by: Robert at September 8, 2010 9:08 PM

It was AMAZING. There were some seriously freaky-looking girls in there. And they're specially dumb and ridiculous and dimwitted and dramatic. It's gonna be a good one.

Posted by: figgy at September 8, 2010 10:23 PM

Holy shit on a stick. 15 SEASONS!!!!!!! Who'd a thunk? I will admit that I've been caught in a marathon or two before, but that's because I enjoy the photography and I get to steal makeup ideas. I couldn't care less about the so-called drama involved...unless there's a stick figure brawl. There's not much that's funnier than a couple of ninety pound broads who are trying pathetically to scratch each others eye out.

Hm. Model Gladiators. I think I smell a new reality show...

Posted by: Kaleena at September 8, 2010 11:59 PM

Tyra came to speak at my college (pre ANTM) and was actually quite well-spoken and seemed very smart and quick on her feet. I was horribly embarrassed that most of the questions in the q&a were of the "Show us yer boooobs!" variety, but she very effectively shut those guys down. I think the crazy is an act she puts on for ratings.

Posted by: McSquish at September 9, 2010 12:47 AM

OK...Until this stops or I receive some kind of explanation, I will not visit Pajiba as much as I am used to...Why do I get advertisements every time I click on a Pajiba link now?! Sometimes I have to wait minutes before I can click on the bypass button to see my Goddamn Pajiba Goodness.

Make your money, Dustin, but if you make Pajiba an ad-infested slut (much like my ex-boyfriend's crab and wart infested asshole), i'm going to have to find greener, less contagious pastures.

Seriously...this sucks my professionally-shaven balls.

Posted by: Vince Noir at September 9, 2010 5:34 AM

"Terriers" is fucking awesome. Well-written, interesting, good performances. FX has another winner, as far as I'm concerned.

Also, I will confess without shame that I watched "Hellcats." And it was pretty good. It's no "Bring It On," but it was reasonably entertaining, halfway intelligently written. No idea if people in the demo it was actually intended for (teens and 20-somethings) will feel the same way.

I have no comment on "Tyra Banks in Tyra Banks' Attention Whore Hour."

Posted by: Slash at September 9, 2010 10:39 AM

I'm with Figgy. ANTM rules.

Posted by: Amandahugandkiss at September 9, 2010 11:42 AM

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Posted by: Mac nick at January 23, 2011 1:33 PM


















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