Pajiba

Fuck the VMA's. Captain Hammer won an Emmy!!

http://img27.yfrog.com/i/lye.jpg/

Lookit! http://img132.yfrog.com/i/2r4.jpg/

My week has not yet started and it's already much improved.

What you mean "everyone hated it last season"?! I thought it started slow, but I loved it from the beginning.

If I had a cock True Blood would have rocked it off by now.

We'll be watching the football game. GO BEARS!!!

I mean, I must really mean it. Sorry, I thought it sounded repetitive, but didn't catch until after the post.

"while others of you do whatever it is you do on Sundays.."

How about planning your brutal demise, funboy?

Anyway, it's all about King of the Hill and Bridezillas as far as I'm concerned.

Oh, and you need to cap that shit off with Amazing Wedding Cakes.

I'm barely capable to sew on a button, so quilting (is that a word?) is very much out of my league. Do you make anything specific staramour, like themed quilts or something? I admire you sunday creativity. All I do on sundays is play hockey, drink, and sleep. It's heaven!

FOOTBALL!
And now the Bears and Packers fans start to come out of the woodwork. Much like termites...
Being in Chicago, I should probably watch the game, if only to teach my girlfriend more about the game of football. Although what will probably happen is that we go to Baker's Square and get pie. Because pie is always better than football.
Seriously. Compare the two right now and tell me I'm wrong.

Yes, indeed, Pants, it's called quilting. Strictly speaking, the part I do is called "piecing" because that's the cut-the-fabric-into-pieces and sew-it-back-together part. The quilting part is making the whole shebang after the design (top layer) is assembled, with the back layer (typically one single fabric) and the puffy stuff in the middle called batting. When these three layers are together, they are called a sandwich (yummmmmm, and I'm hungry - the Chinese food isn't here yet). And the sandwich is quilted.

I make quilts b/c I like having a tactile hobby. I work in a lab, so it's nice to have something stick around after I spend so much time on it - can't really expect a lab report to keep me warm. I also make bags, dresses, and skirts. Maybe I need to make some pants!

My roommate is a Bears fan, so I'll be watching that while trying not to fret about McNabb's rib injury. Alas, I don't have HBO, so I'm going to have to crash my best friend's apartment some time this week to watch the finale.

Dustin, the show started shakily last year, but it ended pretty badass. And this season is fucking AWESOME.

Excuse me, your prediction does not indicate what the score would be if the Bears were playing a hurricane.

Caveat: It is Hurricane Ditka.

One Word: FEDERERRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Also, I don't see how you could continue to suffer through 'Hung' and not give 'True Blood' another chance. I begin hyperventilating in anticipation of every new 'True Blood' episode hours before it airs, while I've only stuck it out with 'Hung' through the sheer power of Thomas Jane's giant schlong.

Plus the fact that every other episode or so, he says, "I just want my kids back", and I cackle like a mental patient while my friends stare at me, worried.

I am watching the horribly, delightfully, cheesy High Plains Invaders on SciFi. An old-west town attacked by giant metal scorpion things? Hell yes!

I second the love for Defying Gravity. It almost replaces the hole in my heart that was meant for Virtuality.

I think Dustin is the "everybody" who hated True Blood last year. I'm pretty sure the Pajibettes were (ahem) sucked in since the first season. I may not have gotten my cock rocked off, but something's abuzz in my panties.

And I'm obliged to tape what's sure to be the Godtopus-awful VMAs so I can try to see my brother at the Muse show.

something's abuzz in my panties

It's tall, hot, and Swedish, right?

Like Cindy, I'm also taping the VMAs, but I'll be watching Muse instead of looking for her brother. It's their first ever US TV appearance! Which is oddly exciting to me!

But I'll be damned if I'll watch it live. I'm watching one of the Futurama movies in the meantime.

Mel, my brother is so damned excited about that show, I can't even express it. We have that I like Radiohead better - he likes Muse better thing going, though he's pushing me hard to see his side of things. He actually won his tickets. Fucker. I never win anything. Well, to be fair, I've won like the two dollar lottery or something. Anyway, I will be checking out Muse in the interests of opening myself up to them more.

ashes, are you completely alive? Are you sure?

Maybe it's all the alcohol, but I actually appreciate this VMA opening. Respectful, powerful, not looking like a shitty MTV product at all.

Ugh, I'm sorry but just because they're "celebrating" and rocking out to Michael Jackson's music does not make my generation any less than an enormous group of douchebags. Suddenly turning up Thriller or saying how much you loooove Billie Jean does not make you some sentimental "true fan." Putting all of his music on your ipod doesn't- IS KATIE PERRY SINGING QUEEN!? What the fuck. I hate the world.

Okay, I've always loved Kanye West, but I swear to God I will never again buy another thing of his. That was just an absolute assholish move.

King of the Hill finale SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED.

I'm seriously putting Mike Judge on my shit list.

Perhaps I've dissolved the universe into too simple of an equation, but Russell Brand wouldn't be sucking if he didn't suck.

Yeah the shoulders are good. The blonde hair though I think is what does me in. I like the dark haired males. Also, he was an uber-douche in the first season.

Don't get me wrong, I love the mens but meh, he just doesn't do it for me. I saw a paparazzi shot of the man and frankly I am pretty sure the man is gay.

Aaaannnd I am quickly going to be one of the most hated 'Jibettes. I should leave,right? Okay I am sorry I will leave.

The Chicken Ranch Gordita is $0.89?

So, they named their taco after a famous brothel outside of Las Vegas? Nice marketing, Taco Bell.

Aw, Ashes, you're still cool. You'd have to run over a basket of puppies or . . . link to another picture of the centipede people for anyone to really hate you.

I was only watching for Lady Gaga. At first, I thought Stefani was bombing so hard. But then I remembered how when she was at NYU she played at clubs and it was like she tried to bomb so hard, and then at the end the blood came out, and I realized it was brilliant.
Okay, maybe not brilliant, but I liked it. Even if I didn't like the way she sang Paparazzi.

Did anybody else notice Megan Fox mouth "..they said his name before me"? Obnoxious cunt.

I'll do him dirty, SaBrina.

For the record, seriously? Did none of you see this happening? For Christ's sake people, Kanye + MTV Awards Show + Microphone + Camera = Random Acts of Douchebaggery. You brought this upon yourself.

Hey George, watch it with the ripping on NM!
Go 'Topes!

I am so Beyonce'd out. And is the air-humping necessary?

Muse is awesome though.

Well, I spent the afternoon with some tiny tots, to borrow a phrase, so I spent the time watching Thomas the Train DVDs and then something called Franklin on something called Noggin. So. My brain is mush. (On the plus side, the bedtime stories we wanted were "Pooh invents a game" and "The Cat In The Hat", so that was fun.)

All I have to say is, SAAAAAAAIIINTS!!!

Oh, and also, I need to find that Lady Gaga performance. STAT!

AvB, my son is obsessed with all things Thomas. And welcome to the world of Noggin.

Damn right Kanye!! Let whitey know that this is the dawn of a new age. We’ve taken over the White House and now we’ve taken over the VMA’s and next we’re going for the holy grail, the CMA’s!!!

:) i'm working on a way to get time to go just a little bit slower so monday will be that much further away.

Send me some of that magic shit too, will you?

now *that* would be illegal.

but stop by if you're ever in the neighborhood.

I didn't think Alicia would be able to walk away from the piano in those shoes. And hey, what's the Cowardly Lion doing at the VMAs?

Can I please sum up the VMAs? I watched it with a 14 year old, who sat there texting about it on her iphone and would only mutter "they're all balls" every now and then (her favorite word now: balls. I'm a great mom).

Anyway: outside, random people with mikes, none of whom I know, interviewing people who act bored. Except Taylor Swift, she was just goofy, as a 17 year old should be.

J-Lo being interviewed: Oh yeah, I have a new album coming out. A new single is coming out. Um, yay? So look out for it. Anyway you bore me, I'm out.

Then to the show! The pre-show was so long, my old ass thought that was the whole thing. Taylor Swift got best female video and as she was saying "thank you, I never imagined this--" (literally y'all that's all she got out), Kanye Klassay West ran out, grabbed the mike from her, and started yelling about how Beyonce shoulda gotten it.

Shot of Beyonce looking a TEENY bit mortified. Shot of Taylor Swift looking sad and stunned and staring at her award and for a hot second, I thought she would burst into tears and give it to Beyonce. People boo Kanye.

Kanye "Douchebag McToolBox" West runs off stage like the pansy-ass pansy that he is and they start up the commercial music and Taylor Swift, still stunned, is escorted off stage. Later on, someone probably said to Taylor, "don't worry honey, he does that to EVERYONE."

Let's see, what else? Beyonce's musical number was about 49 minutes too long. WTF? Seriously? We get it with the hair and the unitards and the crotch swiveling and humping. We really get it.

Lady Gaga: slowed-down version. Freaky eyes. Playing the piano in such a way that big globs of her ass and legs were squishing out of her hose thing. Then she's bleeding! Oh my God, she's bleeding! In case you didn't notice, she's smearing it all over herself! Then ah! The paparrazis KILLED HER! She's hanging by this strap and has a gross bloody contact lens in one eye.

She kinda freaks me out.

Later, she's shown sitting in the audience dressed as a red horn. That's the only way I can describe it. No, a red furry horn.

Ok I'll admit it, I was glad when that guy from the Matrix movies, Neo, won something over Kanye. Yay!

Um, then I got sort of bored with it all and wandered away. Sorry.

Oh! I liked Green Day! But that swatch of blonde hair over Billy Joe's ears made him look like an elf.

The kid tells me Beyonce was classy and asked Taylor Swift to come up and give her speech when Beyonce won for Video of the Year. Yay Beyonce and your boob tapin', crotch swivelin' self!

Anywho. Um, you guys need to get with Misery Mondays. Or Misery Nights, as we call it. Intervention, which will make you cringe and cry and then all warm and happy (usually) and Hoarders, which will just make you cringe and scream and HORFK! It's all on A&E, Monday nights.

WTF like 2 minutes of Eric in True Blood finale.

My masturbation tonight will have to be a sad, short 2 minutes. sigh.

Like any red-blooded American male, I had no idea the VMAs were on tonight because I spent the last 10 hours immersed in an orgy of football...the way all Sundays in the fall should be spent.

Kanye West is definitely fighting back to claim his title as biggest Colostomy Bag in entertainment. When Spencer Pratt said he was the King of America, I thought he was just full of shit enough to take the C-Bag crown, especially since this Federline wannabe has never done anything in his life that shows he is talented or even worth pissing on if he was on fire. Tila Tequila and the Kardashians think he's a publicity whore.

But here comes Kanye. Puff Daddy 2.0. The biggest ego in music. All sound and fury signifying crappy CD's. Way to be a tough guy, picking on an 18 year old girl to spout an opinion that no one wanted to hear. I would rather have Paula Abdul as my sobriety mentor than to have to listen to one more of this reverse racists' bullshit rants.

Kanye West does not like white people.

It all makes me so tired. I've been sick all day and therefore watching TV. I'm tired of the Terrell Owens' and Chad '85's. I'm tired of seeing people on my TV that haven't done anything to merit my interest. What the fuck is a Lady Gaga? There are much better looking trannies out there, right Skitz?

It always seems that the biggest names on shows like TMZ are the least talented. I never saw Paul Newman getting shitfaced at the China Club and starting a fight. I know more about Joe Francis (who I know has a special place in Hell already booked) than I do about Martin Scorcese. The Hurt Locker is the best movie of the year, but a Tyler Perry movie will surpass it financially in a weekend. I'm tired of mediocrity, can't we all just stand up and say no more to this? That we as a group deserve to be challenged and not always be treated as the lowest common denominator? Challenge us, we just might surprise you.

Until then, fuck off Kanye.

I will certainly agree that Madam Knowles (regardless of any previously held notions of her possession of a soul or lack thereof) was quite classy in her actions. And Kanye was indeed an asshole of the highest order.

It was funny when he pulled that crap on Mike Myers. But he forgot Rule #1: Never, ever, EVER scare the little white girl. Just don't do it.

Kanye West does not like white people.

Well, very few black people do like white people. Sad, but true. Just because a black guy can make it down the street without calling you cracker doesn't mean he likes you.

That said, he is just an asshole. One who knows that he gets more attention for his outbursts than he does for his music. So he plays the role of the egomaniac to the hilt, because that is what people want. They don't want to see some fake-ass smile that he had to force onto his face after a loss. They want drama and controversy.

But this was the Queen Elizabeth of royal fuckups.

Poor Russel Brand, he is dying out there with this audience.

Well, for one thing his humor depends on self-awareness, ridiculous excess, and being able to tell the difference between the two. That audience fails on all counts.

Well, very few black people do like white people. Sad, but true.

What would you say the chances are of us all, black, white, yellow, red, bonding together in mutual agreement of Kanye West being a prize twatwaffle?

Likewise, what would you say the chances are of Beyonce absolutely beating the everliving fuck out of him? Because she strikes me as the kind of woman who will not tolerate this kind of bullshit. I think he ran off stage like that because he realised he'd better get one hell of head start while Beyonce was busy waiting for her awards.
Give it three days and this sort of footage is going to be on the internet:
Dark room, Kanye, cowering in a chair, with Beyonce's back-up dancers on either side. Off camera, a woman's voice, identified only as 'Miss B', speaks.
Miss B: 'What you got to say, asshole?'
Kanye spits out a tooth before saying: 'Yo, Taylor..'
Miss B: 'No!'
With perfect timing, the backup dancers simultaneously punch Kanye on either side of his head. He reels, screaming, and spits out blood.
K: 'No! Please, don't hurt me no more, Miss B. Please!' He's now crying
Miss B: 'Then talk properly, you hear me, motherfucker? Or I'm gonna have to be the one to teach you some manners.'
K: 'No, please! Miss Swift, I am deeply, truly sorry for the disrespectful way I acted at the awards show. I would also like to apologise to her ladyship, Beyonce Knowles, for any embarrassment I caused her. Miss Swift, I hope you accept my apology.'
Miss B: 'What do you say, Taylor?'
A young female sobs, and whispers. 'It's fine, Miss B. I forgive him now. Please don't do what you did to him before, I think you made the baby Jesus cry.'

Fuck, I don't even like Taylor Swift. I've been known to scream 'BECAUSE SHE PUTS OUT, THAT'S WHY HE DATES HER!' at the radio during one of her songs. Kanye fucking West has made me want to hug her. Hug somebody who, judging by her songs, probably thinks Twilight is the best book ever. Fuck you, Kanye.

Vermillion you racist asshole you, your true colors are finally coming out. How can you not like white people? They introduced us to cruises before they are fashionable, now everyone wants to go on one. They introduced us to hammocks so we could swing in trees at our leisure, they gave us the biggest and sweetest of all the fruits, the watermelon. You need to open your eyes Vermillion, white people are the tits.

I had a woman's kind of Sunday: sex and shopping.

Posted by: Rubble44 at September 14, 2009 12:51 AM
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You DO know there's an "OFF" button on the remote thingie, don't you?

Jerce,
yay! That is indeed good news. Much deserved, too.

I don't understand making the Kanye West thing into a racial thing. It was a "total lack of decency" thing. End of story.

Rude is rude is rude, doesn't matter what color you are.

And I know black people who do like white people. I know white people who like black people. I'll stop before this starts sounding like a goddamned Dr. Suess book, but what's with all the generalizations lately? Hell, there are black and white people who, I know this is gonna blow some damn minds in here, LIKE EACH OTHER ENOUGH TO HAVE BABIES. I know, right? KRAZY!