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I Blame Canada. The Dionne Quintuplets Started This Trend.

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (15)

quints1.jpg

Don’t you hate how, after you move, you spend about the next week and a half tripping over the stuff you don’t have or that’s just different? I don’t have a physical guide for my TV channels and for reasons of it’s own (probably related to being dropped in a puddle during the move) my TV won’t show me the very outside edges of the screen, so when I watch the guide channel I can’t see the first digit of the channel number and have to guess based on where it is in relation to channels I know. I’m not doing so well at that, which is sort of pathetic. And then there are just the times when nothing’s on so I end up watching the guide channel for about half an hour like it’s some sort of modern lava lamp. In the midst of all the other crap I’m trying to get taken care of, it’s a little maddening that television, which is supposed to be relaxing, is one of the things I’m still trying to figure out. Here’s tonight’s television, which will have to compete with the allure of the guide channel for my time:

8:00pm: “Bachelor Pad” on ABC

“The Secret Life of the American Teenager” on ABC Family

9:00pm: “The Best Thing I Ever Ate” on Food Network

“The Closer” on TNT. Kyra Sedgewick won an Emmy for this show last night and while I think Ms.Sedgewick seems like an absolutely lovely person, no. Her accent on this show is so ridiculously overwrought and distracting. I don’t watch enough of the show to say if the “character development” of having the character be from the South is worth the price of that accent but I’m gonna go ahead and say probably not.

“History Detectives: WB Cartoons, Galvez Papers, Mussolini Dagger” on PBS

“Huge” on ABC Family. First season finale.

“Kate Plus 8” on TLC

“Lie to Me” on Fox

“Money Hungry” on VH1. Shows like this make me wonder how much further down the rabbit hole of reality television we have to go; we went from shows cast with regular people, to shows about people who had previously been cast on other reality shows. How many shows do reality stars have to get (particularly blatantly scripted ones like “The Hills”) before they’re just really bad actors and the cycle has to start all over again?

“Rupaul’s Drag U” on Logo

“Top Gear” on BBCA

“WWE: Raw” on USA. 900th episode. Damn.

9:30pm: “Operation Repo” on TruTV

“Rob Drydek’s Fantasy Factory” on MTV

10:00pm: “Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations” on Travel. It’s a “Making of” episode, proceed at your own risk.

“My Mic Sounds Nice: A Truth About Women and Hip Hop” on BET. One hour special presentation.

“Dance Your Ass Off” on Oxygen. Second season finale.

“Dateline NBC” on NBC

“Diners, Drive Ins and Dives” on Food Network. Tenth season premiere.

“Fashion Police: The 2010 Primetime Emmy Awards” on E!. One hour special presentation. In case you didn’t get enough of people in fake tanner insulting designer clothes last night. Just visit Go Fug Yourself, it’s funnier and there’s far less Billy Bush to deal with.

“Hard Core Pawn” on TruTV

“Mystery Diagnosis” on Health

“Quints By Surprise” on TLC. Series premiere. Bleh.

“The Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Reunion Part 1” on Bravo.

“Rizzoli and Isles” on TNT

“Rob Drydek’s Fantasy Factory” on MTV

“Scream Queens” on VH1

“Shatner’s Aftermath” on Bio

“Weeds” on Showtime

“Dating in the Dark” on ABC

10:30pm: “The Big C” on Showtime

“Quints By Surprise” on TLC. So, I’m just curious, after you make the appointment at the fertility clinic do you give TLC a call, just in case? How do they find all these families?

“Warren the Ape” on MTV. First season finale.

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.









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Comments

I could have sworn that headline was going to mean that the Duggars had done it again....

Posted by: sansho1 at August 30, 2010 7:12 PM

Just wait five minutes, I've seen Polaroids that didn't develop as fast-even with the shaking.

Posted by: bleujayone at August 30, 2010 7:34 PM

I wouldn't know anything about it. I haven't been to Canada in years.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at August 30, 2010 7:54 PM

I just keep holding out hope each week that we finally get the one Tammie Brown episode of RuPaul's Drag Race. She and Nina Flowers only got to do one episode each, while collectively, Shannel and Raven have been on every single episode. Boo. I want to walk with children through nature and be back in town, not juggle pins or plump my lips.

Posted by: Robert at August 30, 2010 8:04 PM

By Drag Race, I mean Drag U. It was a rough day.

Posted by: Robert at August 30, 2010 8:05 PM

TLC very aggressively goes out to find families like that. Their newest family (production hasn't even started yet) lives in Queens, is Ecuadorean-American, and have an older son and six babies. And they were living pretty much hand to mouth before TLC came along, probably excited that they found an ETHNIC large family of multiples. (That Kate hag is through.)

If they had been ethnic and LITTLE PEOPLE, TLC would have crapped their pants with JOY. What they really want is a family with 23 kids, many of them multiples (so multiple multiples), the parents little people, maybe one black, one Asian and then two of the kids blind, one who has grown to the height of 7'3" at the age of five, one who can predict the future using goat entrails, two of them who are physically incapable of whispering, one case of Tourette's and the ENTIRE FAMILY IS A TRAVELING OOMPAH BAND.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at August 30, 2010 8:56 PM

Shit Snuggiepants, I would watch that.

Ugh, Anthony Bourdain. I am so over him. Give me some Henry Rollins please and thank you.

Posted by: grace b at August 30, 2010 9:14 PM

I feel you on the tv choices. I recently moved, and went from a pretty extensive basic cable menu plus HBO, and DVR, to a limited dish selection as provided by my apartment complex. I've got the four main broadcast networks, HBO, and a few cable channels. I will catch myself staring at a channel guide trying to find a channel I no longer have, or trying to figure out what cable channel I'm watching in relation to where other channels are on the dial. I think I will eventually have to bite the bullet and upgrade to get those missing channels back. I want access to AMC, USA and E! among others, again.

Posted by: Rlr260 at August 30, 2010 11:45 PM

Yeah, Snuggie, if TLC could get THAT, I might consider watching that godforsaken channel. But ONLY if they are, in fact, an oompah band.

Posted by: MM at August 31, 2010 2:19 AM

"House" can't get here fast enough.

Posted by: , at August 31, 2010 3:02 AM

Here’s tonight’s television, which will have to compete with the allure of the guide channel for my time

Guide channel wins in a landslide, Rusty.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at August 31, 2010 4:15 AM

Ha. A colleague and I once had an encounter with Billy Bush at LaGuardia airport. He is one rude arrogant asshole.

Posted by: PaddyDog at August 31, 2010 9:03 AM

for reasons of it’s own

ITS! ITS! For the love of all that matters, brush up on the difference between "its" and "it's". And not just you, Rusty. Everyone.

Posted by: Nine at August 31, 2010 12:17 PM

Remember when TLC stood for "The Learning Channel" and they aired cool shows like Connections? Those were good times...short, but good.

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