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Pajiba After Dark: So Many Things to be Angry About

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (11)

toddler367.jpg

One of the joys of working on the internet is, of course, your complete and utter helplessness when your equipment decides that it wants to be a bastard. Oh, sure, your computer will tell you that you’ve got full wireless signal and the modem will have all the little lights on saying that the internet is connected and wireless is working but does that mean you can actually access any websites? No. No it does not. And as satisfying as it would be to throw all those little gadgets that smirk at you with their little LED indicator lights across the room, you know you can’t because that will just make the whole situation worse, somehow. And when you finally figure out the right combination of cords and switching it off for 30 seconds and turning it back on to make everything work, it makes even less sense which just aggravates you more. But enough about my day, here’s your Wednesday night TV:

7:30pm: “Exes and Ohs” on Logo

8:00pm: “Big Brother” on CBS

“What’s Your 20?” on CMT

“Famous Food” on VH1

“Melissa and Joey” on ABC Family

“Minute to Win It” on NBC

“Malt Shop Memories” on PBS

“So You Think You Can Dance” on Fox

8:30pm: “State of Georgia” on ABC Family

9:00pm: “America’s Got Talent” on NBC

“Ghost Hunters International” on SyFy

“Man vs. Food Nation” on Travel

“Operation Repo” on TruTV. Can anyone tell me what entertainment value there is in shows like this? Especially this one, since it’s all reenactments. Honestly though, is it really that enjoyable to watch people get tickets or get towed or have their possessions taken from them in anything but an extremely low ‘at least it’s not me’ kind of satisfaction? Also, should you happen to have any of these things happen to you, why would you sign the release form to allow it to be televised? That last question also applies to any and all police shows that use actual footage.

“Roseanne’s Nuts” on Lifetime

“Royal Pains” on USA

“Sons of Guns” on Discovery

“Wonders of the Universe” on Science

10:00pm: “Damages” on DirecTV

“Dance Moms” on Lifetime

“Deadliest Warrior” on SpikeTV. This week is Genghis Khan vs. Hannibal. War elephants against Mongol hoards, WHO YOU GOT?

“Legend Quest” on SyFy

“Love in the Wild” on NBC

“Necessary Roughness” on USA

“Nightline Prime” on ABC

“One Man Army” on Discovery

“Michael Londra: Beyond Celtic” on PBS

“The Real World/Road Rules Challenge” on MTV

“Rescue Me” on FX

“Restaurant: Impossible” on Food Network

“Rocco’s Dinner Party” on Bravo

“South Beach Tow” on TruTV

“Storage Wars” on A&E

“Toddlers and Tiaras” on TLC. Fourth season summer finale. I feel like these pageants would be way less distasteful if the point was to make cute little girls look like, you know, cute little girls. Pigtails, fluffy dresses, mary janes, little girl clothing. The fact that the point seems to be to make them look like tiny versions of grown women is where it turns the corner for me. Aside from the fact that many of the mothers seem absolutely insane. That’s troubling as well.

“Truck Stop, Missouri” on Travel

10:30pm: “Jon Benjamin Has a Van” on Comedy Central. First season finale.

Late Night Listings

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Joel McHale, Viola Davis, and Ximena Sarinana

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Jesse Eisenberg, Jerry Springer, and Incubus

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Joe Buck, and Tig Notaro

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring John Coffee

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Elliott Ackerman

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Bryce Dallas Howard, Chris Hardwick, Jen Kirkman, and Matt Braunger

“Conan” on TBS featuring Aziz Ansari, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, and Nate Bargatze

Intern Rusty has a Masters degree in Music Business and Entertainment Industry which makes her sound more successful than she really is. You can read more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.









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Comments

I said perhaps the worst thing I've ever said in reaction to Toddlers and Tiaras. I can't repeat it.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at August 10, 2011 6:03 PM

Yeah, I don't understand the "signing permission slip for my embarrassing footage to be on TV" thing. Like, clearly I really don't understand how it works.

I was catching up on some quality "Intervention" and "Hoarders" recently, and I just thought, my God, these people really allowed this to be on TV? I'm guessing you sign a blanket approval to be filmed beforehand, and most of these (clueless) people think, Oh, this isn't such a bad idea, and I'll get my house cleaned, and money, or something... and then during the filming all holy hell breaks loose and the sheer insanity of these people comes out, but they've already signed off on "all footage arising from these three days" or something?

Because I can't imagine that some of the stuff that gets shown, the people really REALLY wished they hadn't given permission for.

Posted by: MM at August 10, 2011 6:34 PM

@ Rusty
As an I.T. professional I can verify the secret "computer Fix" in which you stumbled upon, and that anyone can use so they don't have to call 'The Geek Squad' (letting them burn in hell where they belong). Just unplug and plugin everything and reboot the PC. It will fix whatever is wrong 90% of the time, and if it doesn't, just try it again.
Anyone who has ever called their Internet provider, making them want to murder, can also verify this.

Posted by: Vhrico at August 10, 2011 7:32 PM

I hate to be so like this, but those Toddler pageants should be illegal. They're so disturbing.

Posted by: Protoguy at August 10, 2011 8:48 PM

In this instance, I'm with Protoguy. Those pageants should be illegal. Absolutely.

Posted by: tamatha at August 10, 2011 9:49 PM

Me three. Children should not be wearing freakin' eyeliner. What's next, breast implants? Christ, forget I said that--it might be taken seriously by any parent sick enough to whore out their kids for prizes.

Posted by: DeadBessie at August 10, 2011 10:09 PM

I'm sure it's been ruminated upon by these twisted moms. How screwed is your mental state to want to 1, put your child through that, 2. parade your child around like a sexualized barbie doll and 3. clearly live your screwed up ruined dreams for you?

Posted by: Protoguy at August 11, 2011 4:00 AM

Not only are those innocent children made into sexualized Barbie dolls but they are being made into Texas Big Haired Barbie Dolls, which is

A. Child abuse in it's most subtle form
B. Really, really, really bad taste

Posted by: kirbyjay at August 11, 2011 7:21 AM

I think we're missing one of the worst perpetrators in this. As fucked up as this is, the parents in their own twisted way, don't actually think what they're doing is actually wrong. Now this show's producers on the other hand know very well what they are shooting and the network broadcasting is also very much aware of it. But in both cases they don't give a damn. All they care about is the ratings and money that come with putting the pedophile spank material/child abuse on. They are the ones truly exploiting these children for profit.

The mothers here are assholes to be sure, but most are competing for baubles, pittances, and empty bragging rights. But these guys running the show have never stopped to ask themselves, "Why the fuck are we showing this?" because the returns outweigh their morals. They have failed to addressed in four years what Little Miss Sunshine did in less than two hours; the pageants are a disgusting exploitation of children.

Then again, there is very little actual "Learning" left on TLC just as there very little "Arts" of "Entertainment" on A&E. Both should change their names to reflect the "reality" pitfall that both have fallen into. When this show is on I think "TLC" must mean "Touching Little Children" just as A&E seems to now mean "Assholes and Egomaniacs".

Posted by: bleujayone at August 11, 2011 7:33 AM

Sounds like you guys wouldn't welcome a revival of BABY BURLESKS.

Posted by: Pat C. at August 11, 2011 5:42 PM

I'm all for making beauty pageants for anyone under 18 illegal. It's gone way, way too far. 2 year old girls in cone bras on a stage taught to fondle their fake boobs and "work it" and "make it sexy" (all things I've seen) is completely inappropriate. So, so wrong. I saw a dad who only referred to his daughter as his product. Girls who are taught their ONLY value is their appearance and sexualized behavior. It's INSANE.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at August 11, 2011 10:58 PM