I'm Headed to the Wal-Mart in Style
8:00 p.m.: "The Bachelorette" on ABC
"Behind the Music: DMX" on VH1. It says second season premiere, but that's a flat lie because I know that "Behind the Music" has been around since I was young and impressionable.
"Last Comic Standing" on NBC. Two hour seventh season premiere.
"Lie to Me" on Fox. Returns from hiatus in a new time slot.
"Little People, Big World" on TLC.
"PBS Special: Dr. Christiane Northrup - Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" on PBS.
"The Secret Life of the American Teenager" on ABC Family. Third season premiere.
"WWE Raw" on USA. Three hour special presentation. Three hours?!?
8:30 p.m.: "Little People, Big World" on TLC.
9:00 p.m.: "American Pickers" on History. Second season premiere.
"Cake Boss" on TLC.
"Dr. G: Medical Examiner" on Health. Returns from hiatus. This is one of my sister's favorite shows. What I can't figure out is that if they're simulating all the autopsy scenes, why do they have to blur all the simulated interesting bits out? I want simulated guts, dammit! If "CSI" can do it, why can't Health?
"The Good Guys" on Fox. Time slot premiere.
"HBO Special: Smash His Camera" on HBO. Special presentation.
"VH1 Hip Hop Honors: The Dirty South" on VH1. Two hour special presentation.
10:00 p.m.: "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern" on Travel.
"Mega Bites" on TLC. One hour special presentation.
"Mystery Diagnosis" on Health. Returns from hiatus. These shows are awful to watch because they somehow manage to go into every commercial break on a cliffhanger and they have about a million commercial breaks. The first two minutes of the show are like "One day Sarah woke up with what she thought was an ordinary rash. But she would soon discover the SHOCKING TRUTH." (Cut to five minutes of commercials, an alarming number of them for scooter chairs or catheter supply companies.)
"Neighbors from Hell" on TBS. Series premiere.
"Nurse Jackie" on Showtime. Second season finale.
"Pawn Star$" on History. Third season premiere.
"Persons Unknown" on NBC. Series premiere.
"The Real Housewives of New Jersey" on Bravo.
"Saving Grace" on TNT.
"True Beauty" on ABC.
10:30 p.m.: "The United States of Tara" on Showtime. Second season finale.
Late Night Listings:
"The Late Show With David Letterman" on CBS featuring Jessica Biel and Lee DeWyze.
"The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" on NBC featuring Howie Mandel, Jillian Michaels, and Hole.
"The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson" on CBS featuring Eric Idle and Terry Crews.
"Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" on NBC featuring Molly Shannon, Chris Colfer, Ian Poulter, and Kings of Convenience.
"The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" on Comedy Central featuring John C. Reilly.
"The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central featuring James Carville and Jonathan Alter.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty's Ventures.