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Pajiba After Dark: At Least 50% Of You Are Excited Because of This

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (18)

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Last night the world got some extremely big news that I am not at ALL qualified to discuss which is really unfortunate since tonight’s television offerings are duller than watching paint dry for the most part. Actually, I’m kind of eager for most of the current shows to end and the summer series to start because there’s a few I’m actually interested in and they’ll give me something new to talk about. Right now? It’s like “Hey, it’s Monday! That means ‘House’ is on! Again. Because I’m sure some of you still get excited about that, maybe.” And “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is over so I can’t even be jealous of those of you who get Logo. At least until “Be Good Johnny Weir” comes back. Then I’ll be breaking out the voodoo dolls. Here’s your Monday night TV:

7:30pm: “NHL Playoffs: Boston at Philadelphia, Game 2” on Versus

8:00pm: “90210” on The CW

“Antiques Roadshow” on PBS

“Chuck” on NBC

“Dancing With the Stars” on ABC

“House” on Fox

“How I Met Your Mother” on CBS

“Love & Hip Hop” on VH1. First season finale.

“The Secret Life of the American Teenager” on ABC Family

“NBA Playoffs: Atlanta at Chicago, Game 1” on TNT

“WWE Tough Enough” on USA

8:30pm: “Beverly Hills Fabulous” on VH1

“Kid in a Candy Store” on Food Network

“Mad Love” on CBS

9:00pm: “All Worked Up” on TruTV

“American Chopper” on Discovery

“The Bad Girls Club: Reunion” on Oxygen

“The Chicago Code” on Fox

“The Event” on NBC

“Gossip Girl” on The CW

“Make It or Break It” on ABC Family. This name has always bugged me because… break what? I know it’s a show about gymnastics and there are some fairly nasty injuries one can get participating in gymnastics so that doesn’t make me feel better about what the title is trying to convey. Although I guess “Make It or Just Quit And Start Menstruating” isn’t quite as snappy.

“Relapse” on A&E. First season finale.

“RuPaul’s Drag Race: Reunited” on Logo

“Stargate Universe” on SyFy

“WWE: RAW” on USA

9:30pm: “Mike and Molly” on CBS

10:00pm: “Bethenny Ever After” on Bravo

“Castle” on ABC

“The Hard Times of RJ Berger” on MTV

“Hawaii Five-0” on CBS

“Kate Plus 8” on TLC

“Law and Order: Los Angeles” on NBC

“Nurse Jackie” on Showtime

“Paranormal State” on A&E

“Pawn Star$” on History

“Sanctuary” on SyFy

“Setup Squad” on Logo. Apparently this revolves around a ‘dating service’ which hooks people up with wing-men or women rather than actual dates. So… it’s like “rent a friend” but with slightly more purpose.

“Southern Fried Stings” on TruTV

10:20pm: “James May’s Road Trip” on BBCA. Second season premiere.

10:30pm: “Paranormal State” on A&E. Sixth season premiere.

“Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory” on MTV

“NBA Playoffs: Dallas at LA Lakers, Game 1” on TNT

“The United States of Tara” on Showtime.

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Brian Williams and Rex Ryan

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Paul Walker and Donny & Marie Osmond

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Rene Russo, Kristin Gore, and k.d lang

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Mindy Kaling and Matt Lucas

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring LL Cool J, Judd Apatow, and Ambrosia

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Philip K. Howard

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Francis Fukuyama. I’m thinking both “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” are going to be FANTASTIC TV tonight.

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Tyrese Gibson, Josh Wolf, Brad Wollack, and Heather McDonald

“Conan” on TBS featuring Will Ferrell, Paul Bettany, and James Blunt

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures









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Comments

You don't diss "House" in MY house, missy. Bring it on.

Posted by: , at May 2, 2011 6:03 PM

Just have a look at the guest line-up for all the talk shows and tell why Leno is even on the air any more. Who is watching his show? Surely not the Medicare crowd since it's way too late for them. And who else could possibly be interested in a brace of Osmonds and a guy whose claim to fame is playing second fiddle to Vin Diesel in the same movie over and over again?

Posted by: PaddyDog at May 2, 2011 6:08 PM

Kate's Destroyed Vagina is STILL on?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 2, 2011 6:11 PM

Also, Canadian Pajibans have some election results to watch.

Posted by: TheOtherGreg at May 2, 2011 6:15 PM

Yup!

I'm gonna be watching some election results tonight with a little Dancing With The Stars for good measure.

I want to paint the town Orange tomorrow. This election has started to remind me of 'The Good Wife,' but without the main scorned wife part. Just now that Jack Layton has become a threat, the main campaign has decided to release the dirt... which wasn't that bad.

Posted by: kilmo at May 2, 2011 6:24 PM

Don't be fooled by the awful description. Setup Squad is fabulous. It's the lovechild of Can't Get A Date and Queer Eye, with a little What Not To Wear thrown in for color and seasoning.

Posted by: Robert at May 2, 2011 7:18 PM

Also, Canadian Pajibans have some election results to watch.
Posted by: TheOtherGreg at May 2, 2011 6:15 PM

General secretary is gonna be elected by regional commissars?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 2, 2011 7:35 PM

i guess it's Pawn Stars and basketball for me.

Posted by: logan at May 2, 2011 8:18 PM

General secretary is gonna be elected by regional commissars?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 2, 2011 7:35 PM

I always thought they elected leaders in Canada by how many faceoffs they won in the center circle. That or how many moose they have punched.

Posted by: Fredo at May 2, 2011 8:32 PM

Ah, I've also heard of the fabled Moosetagon, thought it was a Lakota legend.

/no idea if the Lakota ever lived in Canada

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 2, 2011 8:35 PM

Oh, and by "canada" I meant the Unsettled Territories.

Don't worry, Obama will solve that problem soon enough, barbarians.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 2, 2011 8:38 PM

Rusty, I think that you're just experiencing the beginning stages of TV show break-up. It's a common condition when a show has gone on for so long, repeated many of its best moves again and you find that the spark that initially caught your attention is flickering out. You no longer care to catch up with that show right as it starts (like you used to). Now, you wait until you're ready to deal with it on Tivo/DVR. You pause during key moments to answer a text message. You check Twitter or Facebook. The idea of waiting on till commercials to run to the bathroom is long gone.

The long periods of absence during the summer are replaced with wistful looks at pretty, new and disposable TV shows that litter the summer TV guide like pool boys and co-eds on Miami Beach. You yearn to spend as much time as possible with the USA line-up and never go back to network TV, even though you know, deep down that USA will break your heart and leave you with nothing more than old NBC repeats eventually.

So you keep tuning in on those nights because it's a habit (8:00 on Monday? It's "House" time) and because you feel that you have to see it through. You made a commitment to that show and to those characters. You feel you need to know how things turn out. Does House end up with Cuddy AND Thirteen? Will Ted ever meet the mother of his children? Who will be the boss at Dunder Mifflin? Will Kate's vagina finally explode? Can the Pawn Stars finally raise enough money to afford multiple gastric bypasses?

It's more work than it's worth, but you do it because you've gone too far. You're in this till the bitter end -- or the show ends up on Fox or F/X and it gets cancelled on you.

Posted by: Fredo at May 2, 2011 8:48 PM

Well, I'm moving.

/Canadian election not going well.

Posted by: becks at May 2, 2011 10:22 PM

That's next election, BSlim.

This is the one that sees us renamed "Stephen Harper's Canada"(tm)

Posted by: Wintermute at May 2, 2011 10:23 PM

General secretary is gonna be elected by regional commissars?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 2, 2011 7:35 PM

In Canada, Regional Commissar elects you.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at May 2, 2011 10:28 PM

Apparently more people showed up to the opening of a new Tim Hortons than did to vote in Canada's election.

Posted by: Fredo at May 3, 2011 12:34 AM

Floppy disks and industrial waste ... Harper has the long-dreamt-of Parliamentary majority.

So he can remake Canada in a more Americanesque, business-friendly image.

Good-bye, Canada.

Posted by: The Wanderer at May 3, 2011 7:07 AM

I watched Top Gear reruns on BBCA last night. What the other offerings were like, I culdn't hazard a guess.

But I'm sure they stank like old fish.

Posted by: The Wanderer at May 3, 2011 7:46 AM