Pajiba After Dark: Gratuitous Nudity is Never the Wrong Way To Go
My job just keeps getting easier; more season finales tonight so there's less TV for me to list the further we inch towards summer. Of course, that means there's less to talk about, highlight and make fun of so we're about three weeks away from "Everything's stupid. Here's your damn TV" being the entire intro to this column. Anyway, I hope all you "Bones" and "Parks and Recreation" have your snacks lined up and your space on the couch cleared out. For those of you who are still in the hostage situation that is "Grey's Anatomy" well, I'll probably be there with you. And I'd like to wish everyone a happy Rapture or (more likely) a happy Saturday. I'm sure as shit not going anywhere, and I doubt many of you are either. Thanks to Jason Harris I'll be spending it at Exxxotica so I guess if this whole thing really does go down I'll know the answer to the age old question: does anal count? Here's your Thursday night TV:
8:00pm: "American Idol" on Fox
"The Big Bang Theory" on CBS. Third season finale.
"NHL Playoffs: Boston at Tampa Bay, Game 3" on Versus
"Wipeout: Spring Wipeout" on ABC. Fourth season spring finale. This week it's all engaged couples and depending on the kind of couple this is either the best thing they could do or the absolute worst. No middle ground when it comes to "Wipeout."
8:30pm: "Rules of Engagement" on CBS. Fifth season finale.
9:00pm: "Bones" on Fox. Sixth season finale. Oh my god, you guys, Brennan and Booth are totally gonna do it! Or I think that's what all the promos and last week's "did they or didn't they" conversation the viewers were not privy to are meant to make us believe. At this point it's kind of a non-event, you know? You drag out that unresolved sexual tension too long and fewer people are interested in seeing it resolved every year. Unless it involves shirtless David Boreanaz or scantily clad Emily Deschanel. That will probably draw a few of you in.
"The First 48" on A&E
"Grey's Anatomy" on ABC. Seventh season finale.
"The Mentalist" on CBS. Two hour third season finale.
"The Office" on NBC. One hour seventh season finale.
"Police Women" on TLC
"Swamp People" on History
10:00pm: "24 Hour Restaurant Battle" on Food Network
"Manhunters: Fugitive Task Force" on A&E
"Parks and Recreation" on NBC
"Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew" on MTV. Nicki Minaj is performing tonight. In case any of you care. I'm betting not.
"The Real Housewives of New York City" on Bravo
"Swords: Life on the Line" on Discovery
"Private Practice" on ABC. Fourth season finale.
10:30pm: "Parks and Recreation" on NBC. Third season finale at a special time.
11:00pm: "Gigolos" on Showtime
"Son of a Gun" on MTV
"Watch What Happens" on Bravo
Late Night Listings
"The Late Show with David Letterman" on CBS featuring Kelly Ripa, Jennifer Lawrence, and a performance by the Broadway cast of "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying."
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" on NBC featuring Jack Black, Mike Huckabee, and Iron & Wine
"Jimmy Kimmel Live" on ABC featuring Albert Brooks, Chaz Bono, and Rammstein
"The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" on CBS featuring Tony Shalhoub and Sloane Crosley
"Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" on NBC featuring Ellen Barkin, Chris Hardwick, and Michael Schlow
"Last Call with Carson Daly" on NBC featuring Brian Williams, Cochon 555, and Nicole Atkins and the Black Sea
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" on Comedy Central featuring Richard Beeman
"The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central featuring Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
"Chelsea Lately" on E featuring Lucy Liu, Brad Wollack, Michael Yo, and Arden Myrin
Intern Rusty has a Masters degree in Music Business and Entertainment Industry. If you know someone who may be interested in that specialty, please email her.