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If Anything, I'd Like to Know LESS About Her

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (17)

kate-gosselin-bday-supplies.jpg

The past couple weeks I’ve been hearing a lot about the snow happening up north on the news and internet and facebook and basically any time I interact with someone who isn’t located south of Jacksonville and for some reason the news seems to be treating the whole thing as a massive disaster. Now, it’s been a while since I spent an entire winter somewhere that’s not sub-tropical (the winter of 2008-2009 to be specific) but… doesn’t show happen most winters? Isn’t it like, winter weather? And since it’s winter it’s not really super surprising that there’s snow and cold happening? I’m not saying that it isn’t frustrating and difficult to work around but is that so different than any other year? Let me know, because I’m obviously not getting it. Here’s your Wednesday night TV:

8:00pm: “American Idol” on Fox

“Howe and Howe Tech” on Discovery. Second season finale.

“Live to Dance” on CBS

“Minute to Win It” on NBC

“Mystery Diagnosis” on OWN

“Nova: Sciencenow: How Does the Brain Work?” on PBS

8:30pm: “Throwdown with Bobby Flay” on Food Network

9:00pm: “Friday Night Lights” on DirecTV

“Ghost Hunters International” on SyFy

“Bigfoot: The Definitive Guide” on History

“Human Target” on Fox

“Inside the NFL” on Showtime

“Man vs. Food” on Travel

“Minute to Win It” on NBC

“My Strange Addiction” on TLC. One of the addictions is “can’t stop cleaning” which sounds less like an addiction and more like a form of OCD but I’m not an expert by any means. Actually, most of these “addictions” aren’t actually addictions but seem to be some form of mental illness (mostly pica, people eating weird shit never gets old). I’m onto you, TLC.

“Nova: Making Stuff Cleaner” on PBS. And this sounds like something that cleaning addicted woman from the show above should watch! After all, if you’re going to be cleaning anyway best to be cleaning more effectively.

“Operation Repo” on TruTV

9:30pm: “Cougar Town” on ABC

10:00pm: “Are We There Yet” on TBS

“Blue Bloods” on CBS

“Clean House” on Style

“Desert Car Kings” on Discovery

“E True Hollywood Story: Kate Gosselin” on E. What the hell is the point of doing a “True Hollywood Story” on this woman? First of all, she’s not Hollywood. Lady is from central PA last I checked, which is a lie because I didn’t check because I don’t care about her or her weird husband and pile of kids. The more obvious problem, though, is that she’s a damn reality show star. How much “behind the scenes” can they come up with on someone whose job is being followed around by cameras? This is why I drink. Well, also because rum and wine and things like that are tasty. It’s a win-win situation.

“Face Off” on SyFy

“I Used to be Fat” on MTV

“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” on NBC

“Miracle Detectives” on OWN

“Off the Map” on ABC

“Restaurant: Impossible” on Food Network

“Toddlers and Tiaras” on TLC

“Top Chef” on Bravo

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Kate Walsh, Jim Gaffigan, and Boxer Rebellion

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Jesse Eisenberg, Jennifer Lawrence, and Ryan Bingham

“Jimmy Kimmel ABC” featuring Josh Brolin, Camille Grammer, and Tinie Tempah

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Jim Parsons and Kurt Metzger

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Larry the Cable Guy, and Phantogram

“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Rich Eisen, The Meltdown, and Screaming Females

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Matthew Perry

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Sean Kelly

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Rachel Bilson, Bill Bellamy, Chris Franjola, and Whitney Cummings

“Conan” on TBS featuring Kobe Bryant, Camilla Belle, and Jamie Kilstein

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. She intends to milk that proximal phalanx injury as much as humanly possible.









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Comments

I haven't been here long, but I haven't been this cold since I left upstate NY almost six years ago. It was FOURTEEN degrees this morning. Our windows are frozen shut and we can't go anywhere. It's been kind of shocking, honestly. I love the cold, but if I don't go outside soon I might go nuts. And apparently it hasn't been this cold in Dallas since the 1990s, which is pretty impressive.

Posted by: Figgy at February 2, 2011 7:30 PM

I've lived the past 15 or so years splitting my time between DC, southern Ohio, and New York, and the most winter action we typically get is one or two 3-to-5-inch snow storms and maybe one nasty ice storm per winter.

We have had five massive storms this winter already, and we're not even TO the peak of the season. Typically, winter saves its nastiest shit for the end of February into March, and we're already breaking records for snowfall, cold, and damage.

Yes, we get winter weather every year but for some of us, there's a REASON we don't live in the snow belt, and yet here we are. I might as well move to fucking CLEVELAND.

CLEVELAND.

****CLEEEEEEEEEEVELAND****

....
The snow may have broken me.

Posted by: Tammy at February 2, 2011 7:48 PM

It's a matter of degree of severity. Yes, winter always brings cold and snow. But this winter has been relentless. We've been hit in NJ by a storm at least once every week since Christmas. And big friggin storms. We have piles of snow in our development that are 12 feet high. And now covered in ice from last night's storm.

For a point of comparison? My office never closes. Occasional delayed opening. Last winter (say from end of November 09 to March 10) we had 2 delayed openings and no closings. We've had 5 delays and one closing this winter. THAT IS INSANE. So very, very tired of it.

Posted by: KatSings at February 2, 2011 7:51 PM

Hey Folks, Bleujayone here with an exciting offer...

Do you live in a subtropical climate? Wish you could have a taste of a winter wonderland in your backyard? Well you're in luck! For just $50 + S&H I can send YOU 50lbs of the finest and freshest fallen Northern snow! That's right! If you act now, you'll get a shipment of powder so pure you'll think you were mistaken for Tony Montana! Have a heatwave? Be the first kid on your block to hold an arsenal of snowballs! Be one of the first 200 customers and I'll include absolutely free the Eavestrough Icicle! Three feet of frigid fun! Pretend you're and Ice Warrior, joust your friends! That's 50lbs of fine powder, an Eavestrough Icicle and if you act now I'll throw in the Window Frost too! Order now while supplies last! Spring is coming! (Not responsible for water damage while in transit)

Posted by: bleujayone at February 2, 2011 8:08 PM

Rusty, it's snow piling up on top of snow before we have a chance to clear out the last 4+ inches of snow we got three or four days before. It's been consistently higher than 6 inches in the most recent storms. The roads are a nightmarish mix of ice, slush, and filth, towns are running out of salt to battle the ice, and the erratic plowing is routinely blocking off driveways and parking lots just to get the roads open. You can't drive safely, you can't dig your way out, and you can't keep your only escape route open. It's a nightmare.

Posted by: Robert at February 2, 2011 8:27 PM

I've been basically crossing my fingers that no one hits me as I pull out of my driveway for over a month due to the snowbanks on either side. I can't see around the snow piled up at the corners of roads. There's nowhere to put it all. And, yeah, from last night's bullshit, my rather steeply inclined driveway with the 90* bend at the top that I have to pull around is now a solid sheet of slick, wet ice. So I don't expect to actually be able to stop at the bottom tomorrow. Wheeee! I sure hope all the traffic driving past is paying attention. (That is, of course, provided I manage to make it to the bottom without siding into any of the trees along it.) And it's going to be frozen solid the next couple of days, but it's supposed to warm up over the weekend, so there's bound to be flooding.

Winter is AWESOME!

Posted by: Anna von Beav at February 2, 2011 8:46 PM

Also, I heard this particular newest storm is so massive, it was 2000+ miles across, from east to west, and rarely ever is a winter storm THAT big.

We're going to be on day three off from school tomorrow here in Dallas because we have something like 120 sand trucks for about 9000 miles of road. TXDOT has asked crews from Waco to come up and help us sand the roads because we have a little sporting event going on Sunday and a lot of people are in town and want to get around and stuff and well, it's hard to right now. I haven't been out of my house in two days and I'm about to lose my mind.

AND DID I MENTION I LIVE IN DALLAS? AND DID I MENTION THAT THREE DAYS AGO IT WAS 72 DEGREES, I WAS WEARING SHORTS, GRILLING FAJITAS OUTSIDE AND GOT SUNBURN ON MY ARMS?

Yeah. Mood disorder weather. The good news is by Sunday, when that little game is on, it'll be upper 50s and sunny. And the game is indoors, 72 toasty degrees.

THEN MONDAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO SNOW.

It's so bananas.

As for Kate Gosselin, I urge anyone even slightly tempted to watch the E! thing on her not to. I'm really really hoping the viewing numbers for it are DISMAL, as that'll send a pretty clear message that people aren't interested in this fucking narcissistic child exploiter.

If you said "who?" when you looked at the header picture, good for you and keep it that way. Life's too short.

Ok, I'm going to continue to go crazy in my house now. With my family. Going crazy. A teenager who can't go anywhere. For days. Ha! HA!!! HAAAAA. HEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at February 2, 2011 9:04 PM

Wow, really good night for band names.

Posted by: , at February 2, 2011 9:06 PM

Oh, I forgot to mention the rolling brownouts we've had all day across the entire state. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Yeah, big water pipes burst at two of our state's biggest coal-powered electric plants, so they ordered the rolling brownouts as a way of avoiding a bigger problem. They will probably continue tomorrow. Electricity, no electricity. Electricity, no electricity. All day.

This morning, we were all sitting in the living room wearing coats, arguing over who got to hold the dog as a lapwarmer. (The cats weren't being very cooperative in our idea to turn them into living blankets.)

Posted by: Snuggiepants at February 2, 2011 9:07 PM

Kate Goslin is going to one day be a swear word. just like Sarah Palin.

Posted by: Lordninja at February 2, 2011 9:19 PM

@bleujayone

"This mountain is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?"

[I'll just be up here in the Northwest, where it's a little chilly, not even raining, and certainly not snowing.]

Posted by: MM at February 2, 2011 9:42 PM

I am another Dallas Pajiban and am going stir-crazy on this second day of "Stay Your Ass at Home Inclement Weather Free Day." I about screamed bloody murder when I realized we'd get a 3rd day of STYAAHIWFD because I need to see the outside again. What keeps me inside? The idea of being one of those poor souls shown on the 6o'clock need slippin and sliding and losin total control of vehicle until said vehicle is stopped by another car/tree/light pole.

That's another thing, the news people are practically foaming at the mouth with all the air time they're getting. They actually showed up at a hospital to interview someone who had fractured their toe walking from the door of his house to his car.

And then I see coverage of people from Chicago stranded for hours practically buried under ten feet of snow and decide I hate my local news. Cheers to my fellow Dallas Pajibans. I shall drink a shot in your honor.

Posted by: Slappysquirrell at February 2, 2011 11:57 PM

I'm so glad we didn't get black-outs. What with not being able to go ANYWHERE, and MrFig sleeping all day, I would've gone out of my mind. At least I had the internet, though no Netflix because everyone seems to be on it.

And the ice STILL won't melt tomorrow! the hell, Dallas?!

OK I do like it better than the 115 heat last summer. I won't complain anymore.

Posted by: Figgy at February 3, 2011 1:11 AM

Dallas has made me into one of those people who talk about the weather an awful lot.

Posted by: Figgy at February 3, 2011 1:19 AM

Figgy, I don't blame you on the weather talk. There's really nothing else to talk about given that Channel 4/5/8 monopolize TV mornings with their "Let's take another look at the traffic conditions so the folks at home can see that THE SKY IS FALLING!" [cue to same shot of the same miserable people stuck on Loop 12 four hours in because they can't get enough traction to move forward without slipping and sliding all over he place]"

And lucky you. Our power went out a total of about 8 times from 8 am until 4pm once every hour.

If I didn't have internet (so I could check this and other sites I frequent), TV (so I can catch up on soaps I haven't seen in five years as well as all the morning talk shows and Judge Mathis/People's Court) I swear I would have already killed someone and/or myself.

Free weather days are so fucking over-rated, y'all.

I am of the mind that it's better to be cold and bundle up than in the sweltering heat so that part is not too bad. My ex used to prefer the latter, though, but I suspect that's because he knew that's when clothes would star flying off in the cool down process.

Posted by: Slappysquirrel at February 3, 2011 1:29 AM

Yeah I'll still take this over the months on end of triple digits and an overnight LOW of 88. Death. Suffocation. I'd like someplace that's more temperate, less extreme, please.

Posted by: Snuggiepants at February 3, 2011 12:51 PM

Regarding Kate Gosselin being a swear word-

According to 30 Rock, Jon Gosselin is already a curse word so we are already well on our way.

Posted by: pajamas at February 3, 2011 1:09 PM