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Pajiba After Dark: Let's Party Like It's 1776

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (13)

george-washington-picture.jpg

Tomorrow we here in the US celebrate Presidents’ Day, a holiday that proves that Americans have no idea how to properly celebrate holidays. How do we celebrate the holiday? With car sales and maybe a day off work if you’re lucky. I’m sure that if you told George Washington that the way the people of the country he fought to build would honor him with 18 months of 0% APR and no down payment for a new Ford, he’d… well, he’d look at you funny because none of that would mean anything to him. But I’m certain that if you explained the sentiment to him he’d disapprove. Maybe. I didn’t know the guy. I’d like to start a movement now to celebrate Presidents’ Day properly, though I’m not entirely sure what that would entail. Suggestions are welcome. Here’s your Sunday night TV:

7:00pm: “60 Minutes” on CBS

“America’s Funniest Home Videos” on ABC

“Dateline NBC” on NBC

“NBA Tip-Off” on TNT

7:30pm: “American Dad” on Fox

8:00pm: “The Amazing Race” on CBS. 18th season premiere.

“Basketball Wives” on VH1

“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” on ABC

“Jerseylicious” on Style

“Nature: Broken Tail” on PBS. If you’re sensitive to animals in peril, you should probably avoid this or at least keep a large box of tissues next to you. The tiger that’s the central focus of the feature dies, and the goal of it overall is to draw attention to the poaching problem in Ranthambhore National Park.

“Oprah Presents Master Class: Sidney Poitier” on OWN

“The Simpsons” on Fox

8:30pm: “Bob’s Burgers” on FOx

“NBA All-Star Game” on TNT. Last night I watched the dunk contest with some friends which is really only great to see what kind of theatricality the contestants bring to it. The winner made his last dunk jumping over a car while someone threw the ball up through the sun-roof and a choir at the other end of the court sang “I Believe I Can Fly.” It was spectacular.

9:00pm: “Ax Men” on History

“Big Love” on HBO

“Californication” on Showtime

“Desperate Housewives” on ABC

“Family Man” on Fox

“Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane” on Style

“Masterpiece!: Any Human Heart” on PBS

“Saturday Night Life: Saturday Night Live Backstage” on NBC

“Snapped” on Oxygen. Eighth season premiere.

“600 Pound Mom” on TLC

“Undercover Boss” on CBS

“What Chilli Wants” on VH1

“Worst Cooks in America” on Food Network. Second season finale.

9:30pm: “Brandy and Ray j: A Family Business” on VH1

“The Cleveland Show” on Fox

“Episodes” on Showtime. First season finale.

10:00pm: “CSI: Miami” on CBS

“Iron Chef America” on Food Network

“Kourtney and Kim Take New York” on E

“The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Reunion” on Bravo

“Shameless” on Showtime

“The Man Who Lost His Face” on TLC

“Brothers and Sisters” on ABC

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.









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Comments

"18 months of 0% APR and no down payment for a new Ford, he’d… well, .... But I’m certain that if you explained the sentiment to him he’d disapprove."


Are you fucking kidding me? That's one heck of a deal and George was an old-school capitalist. I'm pretty certain he would approve. Shit he'd probably drive outta there in a new Raptor.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 20, 2011 6:58 PM

Didn't most of the presidents have distillery businesses during/after their presidency. I'm pretty sure he would at least approve of drinking.

Posted by: e at February 20, 2011 7:13 PM

Pssssh, "President's Day"? Can you Yanks go three days without having a national holiday?

Posted by: Whalen at February 20, 2011 7:21 PM

Dress up as the Founding Fathers and have lots of sex?

Bring back powdered wigs in '11!

Posted by: Figgy at February 20, 2011 8:14 PM

Don't the Brits have a bank holiday every 8 days. I say we have few actual national holidays where people take time off, we instead work ourselves into a grave with little reward.

Posted by: e at February 20, 2011 8:20 PM

And pantaloons!

Posted by: Figgy at February 20, 2011 8:24 PM

@e: Well I wouldn't know about the Brits but we're definitely getting way less than you guys up here in Canada.

Then again we don't take the important ones like Martin Luther King Day.

Posted by: Whalen at February 20, 2011 8:36 PM

Colin Firth quote from 60 Minutes: "I am such a drag queen...you cannot dangle a spandex suit and a little bit of mascara in front of me and not just have me go weak at the knees."

Posted by: Three-nineteen at February 20, 2011 9:18 PM

Figgy, Neil Gaiman had that same idea as a prank for a character in Anansi Boys, where a dad tells his son to dress up as his favorite president and the kid shows up in Abe Lincoln costume...and no one else does.

How about opting to act like a President on President's Day? We could...

...cheat on our wives like JFK.
...illegally record our friends and neighbors like Nixon.
...hunt wild lions like Teddy Roosevelt.
...oppress native folks like Andrew Jackson.
...cigar up a 20-year old husky girl a la Clinton.
...sire many illegitimate children like Thomas Jefferson.
...sit on our asses and do nothing like Harding.

Posted by: Fredo at February 20, 2011 9:34 PM

Since our society was based primarily on a Mexican standoff between the various flavors of Christianity (Massachusetts - Puritan, etc.), I should think that Washington would take note that we have created secular "saint's days" in order to get a free holiday in once in a while.

He might wonder why his day and Lincoln's were amalgamated, but being a capitalist he'd see the business aspect of it.

And Fredo, I take exception to your assertion that Harding did 'nothing.' The story goes that he used to sex his mistress up in a White House closet (didn't even want to wait until she hung up her coat). Hell, it might have contributed to his heart attack.

Posted by: The Wanderer at February 21, 2011 6:45 AM

Don't the Brits have a bank holiday every 8 days?

We normally have 8 per year, but this year we get an extra day because some posh folk are getting married! Sounds fair, since we're paying for the wedding anyhow.

I think working Brits (and Europeans in general) do much better in terms of annual leave though. And maternity leave too...

Posted by: Simon at February 21, 2011 7:32 AM

Damn skippy, Simon!Especially if you reside in one of those little Catholic countries where we constantly celebrate someone going up to or coming down from heaven. Not so much with car sales, though...

Posted by: cinekat at February 21, 2011 9:40 AM

"with car sales ..."
---
Should read "car events."

Posted by: , at February 21, 2011 10:51 AM