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Lifetime? Really?

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (11)



taraji-henson.jpg

It’s officially a month into 2011 now, so all of us can take a step back and see where we’re standing on all those wonderful New Year’s resolutions that seemed so noble and important four weeks ago. Well, not me. I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions because when you manage to sprain an ankle and break a finger on New Year’s Eve, I think that counts as a massive goddamn hint about what the universe has to say about your near future. In my case, what it was mostly saying was that I’d spend the first several weeks of 2011 alternately frustrated and in pain, with a high chance of having a finger that will be stuck at an angle best described as “jaunty.” You should all be so lucky. So let’s hear how the resolutions are or aren’t coming along and in the meantime here’s your Monday night TV:

8:00pm: “90210” on The CW

“Antiques Roadshow” on PBS

“The Bachelor” on ABC. How much longer do you think this show will last? Who still watches it? Grandmothers? People who love trainwreck TV but aren’t quite trashy enough to go whole hog and switch over to “Jersey Shore?” I’m honestly curious.

“Chuck” on NBC

“Enough Already with Peter Walsh” on OWN

“Human Target” on Fox. This is airing instead of “House” so Fox can save time and piss off the fan bases of two shows at the same time. Ingenious!

“Pretty Little Liars” on ABC Family

9:00pm: “American Chopper” on Discovery

“American Pickers” on History

“Being Human” on SyFy

“Cake Boss” on TLC. One hour fourth season premiere.

“The Cape” on NBC

“Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives” on Food Network

“Gossip Girl” on The CW

“Greek” on ABC Family

“Intervention” on A&E

“Lie to Me” on Fox. Third season finale.

“Greely Expedition: American Experience” on PBS

“Taken From Me: The Tiffany Rubin Story” on Lifetime. Original telefilm depicting a woman’s struggle to get her son back after his biological father abducts him to North Korea. Starring Taraji P. Henson, who really needs a better agent. Still, kudos to Lifetime for breaking the “Pretty White Girl in Peril” trend of their movies.

“WWE RAW” on USA

“You’re Cut Off” on VH1

10:00pm: “19 Kids and Counting” on TLC

“Harry’s Law” on NBC

“Heavy” on A&E. Strange programming note: both already aired episodes and the three that are airing this week and the two after all take place in Texas. Not sayin’, just saying.

“In the Bedroom with Dr.Laura Berman” on OWN

“Pawn Star$” on History

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” on Logo

“Shatner’s Raw Nerve” on Bio. Third season premiere.

“Skins” on MTV

“Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” on Bravo

“The X-Life” on VH1

10:30pm: “19 Kids and Counting” on TLC

“Pawn Star$” on History

“Shatner’s Raw Nerve” on Bio

11:00pm: “Lifetime Special: Beyond the Headlines: The Tiffany Rubin Story” on Lifetime

“Rupaul’s Drag Race: Untucked” on Logo

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Justin Bieber, Pauley Perrette, and Best Coast

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Adam Sandler, Larry the Cable Guy, and Esperanza Spalding

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Julianna Marguiles, Matthew Bomer, and the JaneDear Girls

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Rachael Ray

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Bill Paxton, Adam Scott, and Edie Brickell

“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Lemmy Kilmister, Ryan Case, and Delta Spirit

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Bill Gates

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Samer Shehata and Dr.Paul Offit

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Kevin Smith, Brad Wollack, Dov Davidoff, and Natasha Leggero

“Conan” on TBS featuring Amy Poehler, Tim Heidecker & Eric Wareheim, and Randy Rogers Band

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. She intends to milk that proximal phalanx injury as much as humanly possible.









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Comments

Taraji P. Henson? More like, Taraji P. HOTson! AMIRIGHT

Posted by: (hip hop) anonymous at January 31, 2011 7:16 PM

I think Pawn Stars has become one of my fave new shows. I love the guys on there, especially the Old Man, he cracks me up! Not looking forward to Lie to Me not being on for the summer...

Posted by: Gwen at January 31, 2011 7:28 PM

Yeah, that House thing really shucks my corn, and I'm not even a superfan. You take a two-month hiatus, come back with one episode and then get preempted, and it's not even for GD American Idol?

What the frig, man?

Posted by: Melodie at January 31, 2011 7:34 PM

Luckily for me, my viewing goes something like this:

1. Nothing on DVR
2. Nothin on any of my go-to channels
3. Flip, flip flip
4. Hey! House!
5. Oh cool, it's an episode with the hot black/bisexual/australian/insert random hot doctor here.
6. I love Wilson.
7. These dialogue writers are fantastic.
8. Amyloidosis/Sarcoidosis/Lupus/Crohns/Celiac/hallucinogens! Oh noes!
9. I need to watch House more often. Does it come in seasons?
10. Episode ends, i forget about House until goto 1.

Posted by: meh at January 31, 2011 7:56 PM

Who watches The Bachelor? I DO!!!

I'm not proud of it and I'm not even sure how it started.

Basically, the ladies are CRAZY. It's awesome, also Brad (the Bachelor) is a little slow so he doesn't see it/is making up for his past season where he didn't choose anyone. The Horror!

Anywhoodle...

Posted by: kilmo at January 31, 2011 8:09 PM

Aw man, now I'm going to have to actually watch some of Fallon to see Adam Scott.

House turned me into a hypochondriac so I had to stop watching it. I don't think there's anything else on FOX that I would even consider watching anymore.

That's really a shame about Taraji P. Henson. She deserves so much better.

Posted by: Uda at January 31, 2011 8:22 PM

Human Target preempting HOUSE?! WHAT!

Posted by: Lordninja at January 31, 2011 9:07 PM

, don't need no stinkin' resolutions.

Posted by: , at January 31, 2011 10:26 PM

I don't think I remembered to make any resolutions. If I did, I drank those memories away.

Posted by: Nicolae at January 31, 2011 10:32 PM

I always try to keep up with House, but after following it diligently for 3 episodes, I just forget. Completely forget about it. It doesn't even matter, though, because it'll always be playing somewhere, and you don't really need to know any of the story. Just like a soap opera.

Posted by: Figgy at January 31, 2011 10:35 PM

I loves me some "House." Greg Laurie can differential my diagnosis anyday.

And I love Taraji P. Henson. Come on, girl; you know you can do better that that.

Finally: Korea! WOOT!!!

Posted by: Jelinas at February 1, 2011 1:05 AM