Pajiba After Dark 11/30/09

The Return of Rusty (and Hoarders)

By Genevieve Burgess | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (36)

Hello everyone! I hope all you U.S. Pajibans had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mine was great, if a little on the busy side. And I saw the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in person (or at least all of it until my brother’s marching band and then got out of town before the rush) so I can now check that off my list of “Things I’d Like to Do One Day, Maybe, Not Especially.” The most entertaining part of seeing the whole thing in person was watching this one photographer guy who looked like he was training for some kind of photographer marathon the way he was sprinting up and down the street, speed walking backwards while taking pictures, and getting right up in the faces of the performers to get a shot. The man waded into the middle of the jump rope group and actually kneeled down in front of a teenager spinning a plastic jump rope at a high rate of speed to get a shot. I think he deserves hazard pay. Oh, and a guy on stilts went down about 20 feet from where we were standing, which was interesting in a horrible, car wreck sort of way. Anyway, here’s what’s available for your amusement on this fine Cyber Monday:

8:00 p.m.: “Heroes” on NBC.

“House” on FOX.

“One Tree Hill” on The CW.

8:30 p.m.: “Monday Night Football: New England Patriots at New Orleans Saints” on ESPN, and not to take away from this game, but was anyone else watching the Ravens/Steelers game last night? Which was a complete nail-biter but really shouldn’t have been? Cause I was. And I nearly had a heart attack like four times. Still, great game.

9:00 p.m.: “Find My Family” on ABC, which I’m still scared to watch.

“Gossip Girl” on The CW.

“Intervention” on A&E, season premiere.

“Trauma” on NBC. First season fall finale, if any of you out there were hugely invested in this show. No? Alright, good.

“Lie to Me” on FOX.

10:00 p.m.: “Hoarders” on A&E. Second season premiere! And I know the Misery Night ladies are going to be watching this no matter what, but I read a write up of this episode already and it’s going to be a doozy. Just trust me, those of you who are faint of heart or stomach might want to steer clear.

“The Jay Leno Show” on NBC.

“PBS Special: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Live” on PBS.

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.

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Comments

How do you make two seasons worth of T.V about hoarders? The sad thing is not that t.v houses make this stuff but that people actually see it. What next? I have a new idea for a t.v show. Watching Grass Grow.

Posted by: barf at November 30, 2009 7:07 PM

Knowing Hoarders (the REAL Hoarders, not that imitation bullshit on TLC) is on tonight was like the only thing that got me through this day. I'm not sure if that's as sad as it sounds, but whatever, it's the truth!

Posted by: Lainey at November 30, 2009 7:08 PM

I'm trying to think about what would be more horrifying than the dead cat lady on Hoarders. Maybe they find the skeletons of missing ninjas in a pile of Dixie Cups and tampon wrappers?

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at November 30, 2009 7:12 PM

My short term goal right now is the finish college and get a job that pays slightly above minimum wage. My long term goal is to be on Hoarders and make those sissy cat ladies who can't get to their front door because of the magazines look like Martha fucking Stewart.

Posted by: Zuzu at November 30, 2009 7:16 PM

barf, all I know is they haven't run out of people to showcase because no one I'm related to has turned up on the show yet. Hoarding runs in my mother's family, and she's already given us permission to take her out back and shoot her if she heads down that particular rabbit hole.

Posted by: Intern Rusty at November 30, 2009 7:22 PM

If you watch "Hoarders" you will only feed the beast. The people at A&E will find out. And they will keep filming episodes. Don't you see how this works?

Go ahead and watch, then. Curled up in the fetal position and peeking through your fingers. And then an hour long shower. You're going to need it.

Posted by: greer at November 30, 2009 7:23 PM

If you watch "Hoarders" you will only feed the beast. The people at A&E will find out. And they will keep filming episodes. Don't you see how this works?

Posted by: greer at November 30, 2009 7:23 PM

Oh, I can only hope. I'm so excited, even though pretty much everyone I know is mocking me.

Posted by: Jeni at November 30, 2009 7:28 PM

“The Jay Leno Show” on NBC.

It's the only show on TV so terrible, it doesn't even need a punchline after it to laugh at it's failure.

Posted by: George at November 30, 2009 7:44 PM

Miiiiiisery niiiiight. I missed you, Intervention.

Posted by: Nicole at November 30, 2009 8:02 PM

As much as I love the idea of Hoarders every time I've watched it I've ended up in a full OCD cleaning fugue. Since I already cleaned my entire house this weekend, the only thing left would be the attic, and I am so not in the mood to clean that attic.

I lived in college with a budding hoarder who has since blosssomed into fullblown Syd Barrett style crazy. One day I came home from work to find my entire wardrobe and shoe collection (OH. It is a collection.) shoved under my bed and the entire closet full of cases of Black Spray Paint. On which Neo-Syd had gotten an amazing deal and felt compelled to ensconce in the place of honor called MY CLOSET.

That's when the hating began. You do not mess with a lady's shoes.

Posted by: Stacy D at November 30, 2009 8:12 PM

I'm trying to think about what would be more horrifying than the dead cat lady on Hoarders. Maybe they find the skeletons of missing ninjas in a pile of Dixie Cups and tampon wrappers?

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at November 30, 2009 7:12 PM

Aren't all ninjas - in a sense - "missing"? Quick; tell me where a ninja is, right now. You can't do it. And if you can, they're not a real ninja.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 30, 2009 8:29 PM

That WAS a great game last night. Hell, this whole weekend was just chock-full of great football. How many college games went to OT? 3? (GO VOLS, btw)

But, as exciting as the Sunday Night game was, the Colts game was great, and HOW ABOUT THE TITANS?!? Sweet merciful crap, THAT was an ending.

Posted by: Cody at November 30, 2009 8:32 PM

Hoarders! WOOOOOOOO!

It's sick and twisted, but I'm excited.

My grandmother was a certified hoarder. (Fortunately I had not much contact with her over the years, nor any involvement in cleaning out her house after she died.)

I somehow managed to start talking about Hoarders over Thanksgiving, and my dad related the following story (which I didn't know): when he was a teenager, his parents went on a short trip and left him alone with his four younger brothers. He decided that it would be an ideal time to get rid of stuff from the house, so he enlisted the brothers to excavate and haul a bunch of shit to the dump. When my grandparents got back, my grandmother freaked out, drove to the dump, and retrieved ALL THE STUFF.

Yep.

Crazy.

Posted by: MM at November 30, 2009 8:47 PM

Damn Genny, I missed you by a day!

Posted by: Cindy at November 30, 2009 8:56 PM

Quick; tell me where a ninja is, right now. You can't do it. And if you can, they're not a real ninja.

Exactly, Daniel. Hence one of the greatest Onion stories of all time:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ninja_parade_slips_through_town

Posted by: branded at November 30, 2009 9:51 PM

On Hoarders..."in picking up the clutter they made a very dire discovery"

Was I the only one that yelled "IT'S A CAT,IT'S A CAT, I KNOW IT'S A CAT!!"???

*SPOILER ALERT*

It was indeed a cat. A petrified cat.

Posted by: ashes at November 30, 2009 10:40 PM

That woman is NOT sitting on her front porch eating an uncooked hotdog while people in hazmat gear are cleaning her house. Tell me this is not a real thing that is happening. The raw hot dog is by far not the most disturbing thing I have seen, but it's the cherry on the filthy, crazy cake.

*side note*

It is almost eleven o'clock and it is TOO LATE TO CLEAN ALL THE BATHROOMS IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW. I will not give in.

Posted by: greer at November 30, 2009 10:57 PM

5 TD passes in one game. Holy shit Drew Brees. Why, oh why couldn't you have stayed with the Chargers?? I would take you over Rivers any day.

Posted by: ashes at November 30, 2009 11:13 PM

branded:

Ha!

I can always count on The Onion to brighten my day.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at November 30, 2009 11:15 PM

Aaaaand Brady is picked off!

Posted by: greer at November 30, 2009 11:18 PM

That Ravens game nearly made me throw up my heart! I imagine I looked ridiculous, sitting in my SoCal house, wearing my Flacco jersey, and involuntarily running my hands through my hair in panic. I cannot wait to go back to Baltimore and watch these games with people who will share in the anxiety (and Natty Boh's) with me. Also, I may cheat on Flacco with Ray Rice.

Posted by: Bex at November 30, 2009 11:28 PM

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINTS! Going almost 3/4ths of the way!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 30, 2009 11:39 PM

Zuzu:
NOOOOOO! We have enough of teh Crazy in Portland. Not you too!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 30, 2009 11:56 PM

Jesus, are these people seriously looking for this lady's teeth in that unholy mess? I might have nightmares. Why can't I stop watching?!?

Posted by: Jeni at December 1, 2009 1:31 AM

Now THAT was some Hoard-y goodness right there! Not 1 but 2 dead cats? Good times.
I once had a pet Fire Belly newt named George who escaped his terrarium. He was found many moons later under an area rug, quite dead and mummified. My mother is a goldsmith, so we cast dear George into solid silver, and I can wear him as a pendant. Little George, immortal in silver.
Yeah, we are kind of odd.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 1, 2009 2:36 AM

I, too, was excited to watch Hoarders. I cant help it. I love I Survived, too. I am a sick woman.

Posted by: Eibmoz at December 1, 2009 2:46 AM

I think I love you, LwaE.

Posted by: Smokin at December 1, 2009 5:17 AM

I go to sleep early and all of you actually talk and such in the PAD thread? It's a conspiracy against me!

Also, the ninja thing? They were real ninjas but even ninjas are no match for a house full of discarded food, trash, dead cats and Black Plague. Plus, ninja was the first thing that popped into my tired little mind, so I typed it.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at December 1, 2009 8:54 AM

Er wait, Bubonic Plague.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at December 1, 2009 8:58 AM

I have to stop watching Hoarders. It gives me Ghost-of-Christmas-Future-type nightmares of being a crazy old woman buried under piles of jewelry-making supplies and dog paraphernalia. 8,000 pounds of garbage and two decomposed cats they hauled out of that lady's house, and she's STILL blaming her daughter for all her misery.

But the woman on Intervention was the totally scary critter tonight. My former mother-in-law used to be my gold standard for codependency, and I thinks she just lost her crown to Fentanyl Woman's mom. How can a whole family agree to wear nothing but maroon because one loony sister says it hurts when she sees other colors?

Posted by: Wednesday at December 1, 2009 9:57 AM

Is this Hoarders available to watch online anywhere? It sounds fascinating. Plus I'd like to show it to my sister as a possible sign of Things to Come if she isn't careful.

How do you not smell the dead cats? Death has a very distinct smell. I have a mouse problem and have become extremely skilled at detecting the tiniest whiff of decaying rodent, which is bad enough to knock me on my ass, never mind something the size of a freakin' cat.

So how does that sister in Intervention go about her day if colors hurt her? 'Cause pretty much everything has a color. I remember an advice columnist who said "No one should be held hostage by another person's neuroses", and I think this applies to Crazy Maroon Lady. First off, you're nuts; second, I wear what I want; third, if it bothers you so much, get a pair of maroon colored glasses. Problem solved.

Posted by: DeadBessie at December 1, 2009 10:32 AM

"Every time I've watched it I've ended up in a full OCD cleaning fugue."

Posted by: Stacy D at November 30, 2009 8:12 PM

Sounds like a good motivator for me. Thanks for giving me the idea!

@DeadBessie: Go to the A&E website; they host full eps of their shows.

@Lindsey with an 'e': Don't apologize--Fire Newts rock.

An ex-boyfriend of mine got suckered into helping his aunt and cousins move to a new house a few years back. He said that a) nothing was packed when he went over there, b) they stood around doing absolutely jack-all, and c) their old place was so disgusting that he threatened to throw everything away unless they got a move on. They laughed, until he got a shovel and garbage bags. "It ended in tears" doesn't do justice to the shit storm that blew up.

Posted by: Minty at December 1, 2009 1:27 PM

DeadBessie: The glory that is Hoarders must be seen to be fully appreciated. You have made the rookie mistake of projecting your relative sanity and standards onto a situation they the don't apply. These people are FUCKING CRAZY. They could have a dead wildebeest in there and not smell it. Hell, they might!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 1, 2009 1:48 PM

Smokin'
I KNOW I love you. :-}

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 1, 2009 1:48 PM

Minty:
I would never apologize for my love and odd funerary practices for my Newt. George is with me always. And BOY HOWDY has he increased in value!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 1, 2009 1:50 PM

LOVE "Hoarders". The problem runs in my mom's side of the family, though thankfully she doesn't seem to have it. Yet.

Posted by: lucy at December 1, 2009 1:57 PM

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The Return of Rusty (and Hoarders)

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